Why Not Having a Career Plan is the Best Plan

"I am not fit for this field," I murmured, while sitting in a classroom with a hundred alien faces around me. It had been an hour since the question papers were distributed and I was still staring at it helplessly, struggling to find even one question which I could solve confidently. Not one of them seemed familiar. Every question was new, fresh, complex and annoying - all at the same time.

My relationship with the subject 'Physics' had anyway been that of hatred ever since I was introduced to it. It worsened over the years to the extent. I would get nightmares. I still remember how I shivered when I had to appear for Physics paper in Class XII Board examinations.

Well, this one that I was sitting for was the mother of all engineering entrances: AlEEE. The name has now been altered to Joint Entrance Examination (JEE). After colouring the options randomly in the multiple choice question (MCQ) paper, staring at fellow students wondering what they were busy writing, what was it they knew and I didn't; drinking water three times needlessly; looking out of the window, there was still enough time left for FREEDOM. Three hours had never felt so long before.

Did I tell you yet, the invigilator who was noticing me all this while apparently thought I was trying to cheat. Feeling discomforted, I was once again forced to stare at the question paper.

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But, as I pretended to write, not-very-pleasant thoughts and emotions started bundling up inside and within seconds, unable to hold it anymore, I let the tears out silently, consciously making efforts to not make any sounds. Getting noticed would have been embarrassing. How badly I wanted to vent it all out that day, except that I was in a hall packed with over a 100 students who I had never met before and an emotional breakdown would only end up getting me thrown out of the examination hall.
I told myself repeatedly "I am just not fit for this field." The sight of my parents waiting outside the exam center made me nervous. They would throw at least a 1,000 questions at me in one breath - "Kaisa tha? Ho jayega? Kitne attempt kiye? ata tha ya nahi?” (How was it, will you crack it, how many questions did you attempt, did you know the answers to the questions?)

How will I look them in the eye? All I would have to offer them would be: "Haan, Theek tha, dekhte hain. (Yeah, it was okay, let's see)." Not very assuring, but by all means, the safest reply.

Such is the pressure students face when they are stuck in a stream which is not best suited for them. Despite the freedom my parents gave me in Class X to choose any stream at my own will, doomed was the day when I got up and said 'OK, I will opt for Science'.
My decision was the fallout of constant peer pressure, family's growing concerns for me and my inability to understand what I wanted to do in future.

But if I look back, can Class X pass-outs be really blamed if they are clueless about which stream they want to opt for. At 15 years of age, how was I supposed to know if electrical engineering was good for me or if I would be better off as a physiotherapist. Or if I had the potential to become the best fashion designer in the country. And since I didn't know that, how could I decide whether I wanted Science, Humanities or Commerce.

A few of my mother's friends had an answer to it. "Science me 93 aye they na Class X me, Science le lo beta.” (You scored 93 in Science in Class X, opt for Science stream)

I never paid heed to their advice and I still don't think it's a very good idea simply because a child might have loved studying Science in Class X and performed exceptionally well, but might struggle to cope up with the same subject in Class XI, considering the vast difference in the curriculum of both the classes. Same applies for Maths, Chemistry, Biology, English and the others. The basis for choosing a stream, to my understanding, should be based only on a child's interests and capabilities.
In case, he/she hasn't been able to figure it out, let me say, any amount of grilling by parents, teachers and relatives cannot help him/her discover it in a day or two. It can only lead to pressure, all sorts of it: Peer pressure, pressure to perform at school, in coaching classes, pressure to be at par with 'the neighbour's exceptional kid', pressure to deliver all the time.

In the process, the biggest damage is done to the self confidence. Before parents even realize, in a few cases, the child is already overwhelmed and decides to commit suicide. As unfortunate a decision as it may be, the child is not to be blamed, the parents are.

Life would become so much more easier if instead of panicking at the last moment, parents observe what their kids love doing right from their childhood days, keep a patient ear for the problems they face academically, and most importantly accept them with their capabilities and incapabilities.
When I saw my friends planning to enroll themselves in engineering coaching classes and aiming to crack IIT, I knew they had a well thought out plan, I didn't. They knew what they liked, I didn't. I couldn't become them, no matter how hard I tried. I was a victim to the constant grilling sessions at home. My parents did not want me to opt for 'Science' and crack IIT like them (or maybe they did but they never imposed it on me), but because they wanted me to tell them 'this is what I want to do' and on not finding that confidence, they felt disheartened, at times irritated also.
They would then try to show me the "right" direction. Science is a "better" stream, I was advised. And what makes it better? Nobody knew. I later understood it was just the perception around it that makes it better than others. 'SCIENCE' was for the brainy, 'COMMERCE' was for sons and daughters of businessmen, and 'ARTS' was for those who weren't capable of doing anything else. Sometimes, even parents give in to peer pressure. "Sharmaji ke ladke ko dekho, IIT crack kar li. Apne future ka kuch socha hai”(Look at Sharma's son, he has cracked IIT. You waste your time thinking)

No child is unfit for any stream, he/she is just better suited for another field. There lies a huge difference in saying 'You can't do Science' and 'You are more suited for Humanities', the former being condescending and demotivating, also reflecting lack of acceptance, while latter instilling confidence and displaying support.

Recently, during a conversation with my cousin, who will appear for her Class X exams next year, I realized times haven't changed since 2006.

"Relatives come over. Their unnecessary suggestions are depressing," she said, explaining what had happened.

"Beta, kitne number aye Class 10th me. 85%? Haan, Class X toh kaafi easy hota hai, asli time toh ab hai." (How much did you score in Class X? Okay, 85%. Yes, it’s very easy to score marks in X grade, your real test starts now)

It was like revisiting the past. I remembered how I faced similar questions from the so-called well wishers, who would show fake concern and often derive sadistic pleasure out of other's unhappiness.

"Class X ke results toh aa gaye. Kitney aye apki beti ke? (The Board results are out, how much did your daughter score)

"Beta, ab kya plan hai. Doctor banna hai ya engineer? (What’s your plan now, want to become a doctor or engineer)

"Mere bete ke 92 per cent aye hain, apki beti ke?" (My son scored 92%, what about your daughter)

Succumbing to all sorts of pressure, I’d said to my parents back then: "OK, I will opt for Science". I lied to myself and fooled them at the same time. It's pertinent to mention here that all this while if there was one person in this world who repeatedly told me "NO, DON’T EVEN THINK OF ENGINEERING", it was my 'software engineer' brother.

What IRONY!

Well he was sort of right. I was doomed for the next two years. It would require a hundred pages to rant about what I went through those two years and so cut to the most crucial bit: How things unfolded after the horrifying AIEEE exam.

NOT HAVING A PLAN WORKED...

From here, started the next phase: brighter, beautiful, exciting and fun....

I accidentally learnt about Journalism course in Delhi University during a casual visit to my relatives who were professors at the prestigious institution. In no time, I had already cracked the entrance exams and cleared the interview. As the session began, I found myself enjoying studying media theories.

For all these years, books had become my enemies and suddenly, I realized what it felt like studying with interest. I felt like the caged bird that was let free to explore, learn and fly all by itself.

Looking back, I thank myself for not having a plan. If I had stuck to the stream I was in, probably I would be a ‘suffocated' engineer today.

Yes, the decision to become a journalist came too late for me after having made my share of mistakes. It took me a meeting with dear ones to end up in the field which was best suited for me. For you, it could be something else.

All these years, I have learnt and accepted that the basics of my career have been different from others. I cannot become as exceptional as the neighbour's kid. I can't be like those fellow students who went to IIT coaching classes and are budding engineers today, simply because I am not them, I am me.

And why not having a plan has helped: Because when you don't know what you want to do, you are open to embracing this whole world of options at your disposal based on your likings and disliking. And when you figure out this is what you like and that is what you dislike is when you start making informed choices. Most importantly, if you opt out of it you know only you are to be blamed.

So, if you are stuck in the 'science' stream or any other stream for that matter, for whatever reasons, life hasn't come to an end. There is still hope, don't lose it.