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Some couples may be happier in their marriages if they maintain a level of independence - including separate bank accounts.
- Money is a common source of stress and arguments for many couples.
- In a marriage, couples sometimes think that they need to share everything - including bank accounts.
- However, having separate finances allows you to be in control of your spending, reduces the stress of having a joint bank account, and allows you to have fun with your money.
When I first got married, I thought my spouse and I were supposed to be attached at the hip in all things. Over time, I found that I needed more breathing room than the close embrace of early love allowed. For me, that meant separating my money from my wife's.
"Every good marriage is based on an awful lot of separation," Steven Nock, a professor of sociology who studies marriage at the University of Virginia, told WebMD. "People need to have a separate life and existence to feel validated as individuals. They can't live solely as somebody's partner."
For many couples this happy separation extends to their finances, as well as their social lives.
Our money separation felt harsh at first. I had decided to pay down some debts and improve my financial IQ, and I knew I needed a separate checking account to learn money management. To my wife, this seemed like a slap in the face. Over the years, however, our separate accounts have given us both the freedom to have a little fun with our own money, while still being financially accountable to each other.
I'm not alone in wanting to maintain separate finances from my spouse. TD Bank's 2017 Love and Money Survey found that 51% of the couples they surveyed combined all their finances, while 34% kept some money separate and 15% didn't share money at all. The trend is stronger among millennials: 29% of couples under 34 have no shared accounts.
There are a number of reasons why married couples are joining the trend and keeping their finances separate from their spouses. Here's why.