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What Tech Startups Actually Sell, According To Children

Aug 8, 2014, 22:59 IST

The list of absurd, non-descriptive startup names is a long one, and Fortune got a few second-graders to dissect what they think these silly company names might actually represent.

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Let's be clear: While a lot of companies give themselves perfectly ridiculous names, it actually serves a legal purpose. The more novel a piece of intellectual property is, the easier it is to protect under the law.

Consider companies like Google and Yahoo. Their names provide no clues as to what the company actually does, but because they are so unique and singular, they become easy IP to protect.

Let's get right to the good stuff. Below are our favorite quotes from Fortune's entertaining Q&A with elementary schoolers providing their take on the startup name landscape. But it's only a sample. Be sure to read the rest on Fortune.

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What do you think Jawbone sells?

"Bones for your jaw."

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When you hear the company name Zoosk, what do you think of?

"Lightning bolts because Zeus is the god of the skies."

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What do you think Zoosk sells?

"Air products, like an air conditioner."

Who uses Zoosk?

"Someone who is really hot at night."

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What about the word "Uber" suggested [that the company sells burritos]?

"Not that much, but there are lots of types of burritos and that was the first thing that came to my mind that worked with Uber."

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