Two Ex-Goldman Traders Explain How To Tell Your Wife About Your Bad Bonus

Flickr / K=kristiewells

eFinancial Careers Sarah Butcher has a fascinating piece on how to let a significant other know you got a really crappy bonus this year.

The two best pieces of advice come from a pair of former Goldman Sachs traders.

From eFinancial Careers:

5. Try to impress with the actual wads of cash

Anton Kreil, the ex-Goldman Sachs trader-turned trader-teacher, suggested that the best way to communicate a penurious bonus to a spouse would be to withdraw the bonus from the bank and to present it to him/her in bundles of notes. “Money always looks like a lot more when you actually see it physically,” said Kreil. “If I had a disappointing bonus, I’d withdraw it all and give it to my wife for her to count.”

6. Make it clear that you’re really suffering too

If you’re bonus is bad, you should try to evince empathy in your spouse, advised Lex Van Dam, another ex-Goldman trader. “Come in with tears in your eyes and look like you’re about to faint,” he said. “She’ll immediately know and you won’t have to explain too much.”

[Hat Tip: Dealbreaker's Bess Levin]