<ul class="summary-list"><li>A chef and TikTok influencer went viral this week selling people on the idea of a "micro-wedding."</li><li>Micro-weddings are an alternative to elaborate traditional wedding receptions, which can be costly.</li></ul><p>A chef and TikTok influencer went viral this week with a video urging people to throw "micro-weddings," an alternative to all the theatrics, extravagance, and costs that might come with a large traditional marriage ceremony. These smaller gatherings, constituted of 50 guests or less, have become a popular concept on TikTok.</p><p>Chef Theo Moise's <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@chefmoise_/video/7227695060756778283?_r=1&amp;_t=8c2du3HrnvH&amp;social_sharing=v2" target="_blank" rel="noopener">video singing the praises of micro-weddings</a> has received over 1.1 million views. In the clip, she attempts to convince viewers by showing off a deluxe food spread that can be available to guests right after the ceremony — a marketable selling point for her own <a href="https://www.manjewithmoisellc.com/catering-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">catering business</a>. </p><blockquote class="tiktok-embed" cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@chefmoise_/video/7227695060756778283" data-video-id="7227695060756778283" style="max-width: 605px;min-width: 325px;"> <section> <a target="_blank" title="@chefmoise_" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@chefmoise_?refer=embed">@chefmoise_</a> Ditch the large wedding fiasco, enjoy a more intimate gathering with deliscious food! <a title="chefmoise" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/chefmoise?refer=embed">#chefmoise</a> <a title="microweddings" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/microweddings?refer=embed">#microweddings</a> <a title="weddingscatering" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/weddingscatering?refer=embed">#weddingscatering</a> <a title="personalchef" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/personalchef?refer=embed">#personalchef</a> <a target="_blank" title="♬ original sound - Chef Moïse" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7227695070399433518?refer=embed">♬ original sound - Chef Moïse</a> </section> </blockquote> <p>"This beautiful charcuterie spread is accompanied by a full bar and beverage station," Chef Moise said, as the camera pans over a long table with a delectable spread of cheeses, fruits, and crackers. She noted that the spread could be customized for dietary restrictions and feeds up to 50 guests.</p><p>"Ditch the large wedding fiasco, enjoy a more intimate gathering with delicious food!" she wrote in the description.</p><p>The comment section was showered with positive remarks, as many people said they were immediately "sold" on the idea.</p><p>"As soon as you said micro-wedding I was already convinced," one viewer wrote. "Me, single, already planning my micro wedding catered by chef moise," another person joked.</p><p>In <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@chefmoise_/video/7227692344802381099" target="_blank" rel="noopener">another video</a>, Moise took viewers behind-the-scenes setting up the food spread at the ceremony. She also showed off a full hot bar, complete with main entrees and sides, that will also be available to guests.</p><p>Micro-weddings have become a popular concept on TikTok over the last year. In 2022, there were several videos on the subject with tens of thousands of views, and <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/microwedding" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a hashtag for the subgenre</a> has over 110 million cumulative views.</p><blockquote class="tiktok-embed" cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@rosariophoto/video/7205377022871489838" data-video-id="7205377022871489838" style="max-width: 605px;min-width: 325px;"> <section> <a target="_blank" title="@rosariophoto" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@rosariophoto?refer=embed">@rosariophoto</a> Intimate Wedding✨ <a title="destinationphotographer" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/destinationphotographer?refer=embed">#destinationphotographer</a> <a title="bride23" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/bride23?refer=embed">#bride23</a> <a title="bridesoftiktok" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/bridesoftiktok?refer=embed">#bridesoftiktok</a> <a title="bridetok" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/bridetok?refer=embed">#bridetok</a> <a title="weddinginspo2023" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/weddinginspo2023?refer=embed">#weddinginspo2023</a> <a title="weddinginspiration" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/weddinginspiration?refer=embed">#weddinginspiration</a> <a title="weddinginspo" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/weddinginspo?refer=embed">#weddinginspo</a> <a title="microwedding" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/microwedding?refer=embed">#microwedding</a> <a title="weddingtiktok" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/weddingtiktok?refer=embed">#weddingtiktok</a> <a title="weddingtok" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/weddingtok?refer=embed">#weddingtok</a> <a title="intimatewedding" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/intimatewedding?refer=embed">#intimatewedding</a> <a title="springweddinginspo" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/springweddinginspo?refer=embed">#springweddinginspo</a> <a target="_blank" title="♬ snowfall - Øneheart &amp; reidenshi" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/snowfall-7043672073613936641?refer=embed">♬ snowfall - Øneheart &amp; reidenshi</a> </section> </blockquote> <p>In one video, a travel photographer <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRwCkg3Y/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">gave a guided tour</a> of a micro-wedding she was hired for that apparently included only 24 of the bride and groom's friends and family. In another video, a creator encouraged people <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@larsenphotoco/video/7129244474982632747?_r=1&amp;_t=8c2dvN3mhf0&amp;social_sharing=v2" target="_blank" rel="noopener">to downsize even further </a>with a wedding reception of 10-15 people. They argued it would be more enjoyable to have a meal with intimate friends over breaking the bank for a "mediocre meal with 100-250 people" — half of whom you may not know well.</p><p>There are also numerous videos wherein TikTokers break down how much they spent and saved on their smaller ceremonies. One creator, @bymeghang, <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@bymeghang/video/7127073473062653227?_r=1&amp;_t=8c2dwIP2RIZ&amp;social_sharing=v2" target="_blank" rel="noopener">claimed in an August 2022 TikTok that she saved "$60,000 or more" by</a> downsizing.</p>

A chef and influencer is urging people to ditch all the theatrics and have a 'micro-wedding,' a term popularized on TikTok for ceremonies of less than 50 guests

A couple had a $14,000 micro-wedding in Lake Como, Italy, which included a private chef and a luxury villa stay

20 stunning photos of microweddings that show how special the small events can be

<ul class="summary-list"><li>The phrase 'micro-cheating' has been used online since at least 2018, but it's found recent popularity on TikTok.</li><li>A hashtag for the term has over 25 million cumulative views on the platform.</li></ul><p>Google it, and you'll find an endless <a href="https://www.insider.com/signs-of-cheating-body-language-2018-8">supply of articles</a> about how to spot signs that your partner might be cheating on you. On TikTok, people are increasingly using the phrase "micro-cheating" to describe behaviors that don't qualify as explicit cheating but could lead a person down that path eventually.</p><p>While there is no official list of what counts as "micro-cheating," some of the most common examples are <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@thefirstdatefix/video/7129557495093251374" target="_blank" rel="noopener">not inviting your significant other to events</a>, keeping <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@saveyourmarriagenow/video/7227123457081756974" target="_blank" rel="noopener">secret friendships</a> from your partner, <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@thefirstdatefix/video/7129557495093251374" target="_blank" rel="noopener">not posting your significant other</a> on social media, and <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@saveyourmarriagenow/video/7227123457081756974" target="_blank" rel="noopener">flirting with random people</a> or <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@essentiallyblossomed/video/7081757318089592070" target="_blank" rel="noopener">engaging with their social media posts</a> in a flirty manner.</p><blockquote class="tiktok-embed" cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@thefirstdatefix/video/7129557495093251374" data-video-id="7129557495093251374" style="max-width: 605px;min-width: 325px;"> <section> <a target="_blank" title="@thefirstdatefix" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@thefirstdatefix?refer=embed">@thefirstdatefix</a> What is it? <a title="microcheating" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/microcheating?refer=embed">#microcheating</a> <a title="microcheatinggirls" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/microcheatinggirls?refer=embed">#microcheatinggirls</a> <a title="cheating" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/cheating?refer=embed">#cheating</a> <a title="flirting" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/flirting?refer=embed">#flirting</a> <a title="datingcoach" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/datingcoach?refer=embed">#datingcoach</a> <a title="datingadviceforwomen" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/datingadviceforwomen?refer=embed">#datingadviceforwomen</a> <a title="datingadviceformen" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/datingadviceformen?refer=embed">#datingadviceformen</a> <a title="forupage" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/forupage?refer=embed">#forupage</a> <a title="foryoupge" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/foryoupge?refer=embed">#foryoupge</a> <a title="4upage" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/4upage?refer=embed">#4upage</a> <a title="4upageシ" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/4upage%E3%82%B7?refer=embed">#4upageシ</a> <a title="4u" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/4u?refer=embed">#4u</a> <a title="foru" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/foru?refer=embed">#foru</a> <a title="fyp" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/fyp?refer=embed">#fyp</a> <a title="fypシ" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/fyp%E3%82%B7?refer=embed">#fypシ</a> <a target="_blank" title="♬ original sound - Trey (RCS)" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7129557503418829614?refer=embed">♬ original sound - Trey (RCS)</a> </section> </blockquote> <p><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@teo.sol/video/7226276316008549658" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A popular video from user @teo.sol</a> in April listed most of the offenses, and then some, like "confiding in your ex about your [current] relationship issues." Their video gained a million views and the comment section loudly agreed with their list.</p><p><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@amielseang/video/7242122361661672710" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Another video</a>, posted earlier this month, shared an even longer list that ranges from serious offenses, like "stalking someone you find attractive who isn't your partner," to more benign behaviors, like being overly touchy with someone else.</p><p><a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@choosingtherapy/video/7146215536995880238" target="_blank" rel="noopener">One clip breaks micro-cheating</a> into general characteristics rather than specific behaviors, like "secrecy," "inattention," "crossing relationship boundaries," and "defensiveness."</p><blockquote class="tiktok-embed" cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@choosingtherapy/video/7146215536995880238" data-video-id="7146215536995880238" style="max-width: 605px;min-width: 325px;"> <section> <a target="_blank" title="@choosingtherapy" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@choosingtherapy?refer=embed">@choosingtherapy</a> While each situation is different, some classic signs of micro-cheating include: Secrecy, inattention, crossing relationship boundaries and defensiveness  Article: What Is MicroCheating? Examples,Signs, &amp; How to Move Forward (full article  in bio) Written by: Lydia Antonatos LMHC Medically Reviewed by: Heidi Moawad MD Published: 08/15/2022<a title="microcheating" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/microcheating?refer=embed">#microcheating</a> <a title="cheatingboyfriend" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/cheatingboyfriend?refer=embed">#cheatingboyfriend</a> <a title="cheatinggirlfriend" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/cheatinggirlfriend?refer=embed">#cheatinggirlfriend</a> <a title="cheatinghusband" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/cheatinghusband?refer=embed">#cheatinghusband</a> <a title="honestyiskey" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/honestyiskey?refer=embed">#honestyiskey</a> <a title="relationshiptiktok" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/relationshiptiktok?refer=embed">#relationshiptiktok</a> <a title="relationshipproblems" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/relationshipproblems?refer=embed">#relationshipproblems</a> <a title="textingischeating" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/textingischeating?refer=embed">#textingischeating</a> <a target="_blank" title="♬ original sound - Charlz " href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7064589875831409409?refer=embed">♬ original sound - Charlz </a> </section> </blockquote> <p>The term has been used online <a href="https://www.insider.com/what-is-micro-cheating-2018-7">since at least 2018.</a> However, in the last year, the phrase has become very popular on TikTok. <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/search?q=microcheating&amp;t=1687458978053" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A hashtag for "micro-cheating"</a> has amassed over 25 million total views.</p><p>Though most people on the app seem to agree with naming these micro-cheating behaviors, there's also been some backlash questioning why this classification needs to exist. On <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@carriewynn/video/6956745611181837573" target="_blank" rel="noopener">one micro-cheating explanation video</a>, a top comment said that too many rules can ruin a relationship."Don't be with someone you don't trust or can't talk to," the user wrote.</p><p>Others believe that we shouldn't need special labels to point out suspicious and hurtful patterns in relationships.</p><p>"Microcheating sounds like someone who is trying to diminish the harm these things can cause," another user wrote under that same video. "Let's just call it cheating, disrespect, unfaithfulness." </p><p>And since everyone's definition varies, TikTokers are also arguing about what constitutes as micro-cheating — especially if they have different levels of trust and insecurities. </p><p>"Depends on what your boundaries are," one person wrote on <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@teo.sol/video/7226276316008549658" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a video about the subject.</a></p><p>"All these new made up words crack me up," another person said in response to another <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@carriewynn/video/6956745611181837573" target="_blank" rel="noopener"> video</a>. "You're either cheating or you're loyal, there's no in between."</p><p>Creators who've posted about the label say it can be a helpful tool to start important dialogue in a relationship.</p><p>In a video <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@carriewynn/video/6958970286381255942" target="_blank" rel="noopener">response to a comment on a previous video</a> questioning the efficacy of labeling micro-cheating, TikToker @carriewynn said she used it to remind people why they need to communicate with their partner to understand what the other is comfortable with.</p><blockquote class="tiktok-embed" cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@carriewynn/video/6958970286381255942" data-video-id="6958970286381255942" style="max-width: 605px;min-width: 325px;"> <section> <a target="_blank" title="@carriewynn" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@carriewynn?refer=embed">@carriewynn</a> Reply to @jx316 <a title="setboundaries" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/setboundaries?refer=embed">#setboundaries</a> <a title="infedelity" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/infedelity?refer=embed">#infedelity</a> <a title="healthyboundaries" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/healthyboundaries?refer=embed">#healthyboundaries</a> <a title="relationshipadvice101" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/relationshipadvice101?refer=embed">#relationshipadvice101</a>  <a title="cheatinginrelationships" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/cheatinginrelationships?refer=embed">#cheatinginrelationships</a> <a title="emotionalaffair" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/emotionalaffair?refer=embed">#emotionalaffair</a> <a title="microcheating" target="_blank" href="https://www.tiktok.com/tag/microcheating?refer=embed">#microcheating</a> <a target="_blank" title="♬ everyone using this sound - zup" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/everyone-using-this-sound-6931747481009097477?refer=embed">♬ everyone using this sound - zup</a> </section> </blockquote> <p>"If you do that, you're going to have the best, most open and communicative relationship ever," she said.</p><p>TikTok has frequently boosted the popularity of phrases like "micro-cheating" to its community members. Previously, other newer terms like <a href="https://www.insider.com/micro-weddings-alternative-money-saving-tiktok-viral-influencers-2023-5">"micro-wedding,"</a> to describe a smaller-scale ceremony, have also found new audiences on the app. The platform has also become a hub for online dating and relationship <a href="https://www.insider.com/woman-dumped-boyfriend-post-pictures-cheating-suspcion-tiktok-viral-2023-3">infidelity discourse</a>.</p>

TikTokers are arguing over what counts as 'micro-cheating,' a phrase that's growing popularity to name seemingly minor behaviors that could lead to bigger betrayals

<ul class="summary-list"><li>When Sara Lyle got remarried, the most important guests were her son and her now husband's two kids.</li><li>Creating a fun wedding weekend for the kids was a priority.</li></ul><p>I've been married twice and, as a result, had two weddings. The first, almost 10 years ago, occurred two months after my father, my hero, passed away. The setting — a hillside home overlooking the Blue Ridge Mountains — was gorgeous. Only 12 close family members and friends were invited. Despite its beauty, the day was infused with grief as my dad wasn't there in person.</p><p>In contrast, my now-husband's first wedding, closer to three decades ago, was a traditional affair. The formal ceremony took place in their family church, and hundreds of people attended the reception. The newlyweds drove off at the end in a car covered with "Just Married" graffiti.</p><p>Both of our first weddings were what we had wanted at the time. However, for our second wedding — with each other — we desired something different. My 8-year-old and his 13 and 15-year-old sons would be our most important guests. And, this time, <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/kids-begged-us-not-to-marry-we-did-it-anyway-2023-10">the ceremony and celebration were for us</a>, free from the weight of others' expectations.</p><p>We just didn't realize we'd end up pulling it off in a week and keep it under a $3,000 budget. Here's how we managed the wedding whirlwind, ensuring our kids were part of every step.</p><div type="image" title="Selfie of couple with sunset in the background" height="768" width="1024" msid="105334697" hostid="261"></div><h2>Our proposal starts the wedding countdown</h2><p>During a getaway over Memorial Day weekend without the kids, my then-boyfriend surprised me by dropping to one knee and proposing, set against the backdrop of a vibrant Lake Erie sunset.</p><p>Contrary to the famous song's lyrics, diamonds are not this girl's best friend. So, the fact that he went to significant lengths to find a simple, antique opal engagement ring meant a lot. More importantly, I had no doubts about wanting to spend the rest of my life with him. I said "yes."</p><p>We told our immediate family and best friends, but we didn't want to officially announce the engagement — you know, with a social media post — until we could tell our kids in person. My husband had <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/mom-remarried-after-divorce-raising-sons-blended-family-2023-10">individually asked each of them for their blessing</a> before proposing, so now we wanted to share the news with them together as a family. We waited for the following weekend when we had all three kids with us again. After the big reveal, there were hugs all around.</p><h2>The wedding plans were fast-tracked and then put on pause</h2><p>Both being from the same Florida beach town, we considered various options, from hometown venues to wedding weekend cruises and "destination" choices, including the Ohio resort town where my husband proposed. We even explored elopement and micro-wedding packages in Colorado, where we live.</p><p>Beyond the logistical difficulties and budget concerns of planning a wedding — especially a long-distance one — the biggest challenge was working within our respective custody-sharing calendars. Unless we were willing to wait until the following summer break, the only extended holidays with all three boys were Thanksgiving, the week and a half after Christmas, and the long Martin Luther King Jr. Day weekend in mid-January.</p><p>The first two options got dismissed pretty quickly, partly due to the expense of flying all five of us anywhere during the holidays. Doing an outdoor wedding, which we both wanted, over MLK Day weekend in January was also a non-starter since most Floridians — including the majority of our families — consider anything below 70 degrees "freezing."</p><p>Planning the wedding was becoming a source of stress, not excitement. We stopped talking about it for weeks.</p><h2>Spontaneity for the win</h2><p>With Labor Day weekend coming up, marking the end of summer and including my husband's birthday when we'd have all three kids, I had a spark of inspiration. I mulled over the idea for a couple of days before finally asking my husband, "Would you want to get married with the boys on your birthday?" to which he replied, "Are you serious?" I was, but I left the decision squarely at his feet. Within two days, he was all in — and we were racing against the clock.</p><div type="image" title="Kid playing with a pretend sword" height="768" width="1024" msid="105334699" hostid="261"></div><p>It took us several days to book an officiant (costing about $500) and photographer ($1,000), which we found online and interviewed over the phone. We also confirmed that we wouldn't need a permit to get married at our desired outdoor location — the Garden of the Gods national landmark in Colorado Springs — and reserved rooms at a nearby lodge with an indoor water park, mini-golf, magic wand thingies, and more. The wedding weekend was as much for our kids as it was for us — and we wanted them to have fun. It's why it was our biggest splurge, close to $1,200 plus food and activities.</p><h2>Then, it was time to send out the invitations</h2><p>Using Canva, I designed personalized invitations for each boy to "celebrate a special day just for the five of us!" We placed the envelopes in their usual spots at the dinner table.</p><p>Once they opened them — and, as expected, got most excited about spending the upcoming weekend at a theme resort — the questions began. Given my husband's and my shared history of divorce, they wanted to know how long we thought we'd stick together, sparking a candid conversation. Awkward? A little. Necessary? Absolutely.</p><h2>Ironing out the details</h2><p>From that point, Amazon and Etsy packages arrived at our front door every day: shirts, shorts, and shoes for the boys, which they still wear; our wedding bands, under $90 for both; and dried flowers for my wedding bouquet, about $20 and another $15 from Michael's for ribbon and a few more stems. Before we left for the wedding weekend, we took about 20 packages back to the local UPS center to return them. I apologize, Planet Earth, for the extra carbon emissions.</p><p>In other spare moments, my husband and I shopped for things better tried on in-store — including my wedding dress, which I found on a whim at H&amp;M for $60. Score! We each wrote our vows plus Family Blending ones to read to the kids. While we didn't want them to feel pressured to say anything during the ceremony, we did want them to know how important they were to us.</p><p>Even though we DIYed most of the event details, trusted friends and even random strangers helped make it all happen. This includes the Office Depot print center employee who wouldn't let us pay the $7 for the invitations because it was a "wedding gift" as well as a friend down the block who lent me a family heirloom to wear as my "something borrowed."</p><p>Our minister offered to bring a Bluetooth speaker to play an instrumental version of "Unchained Melody," a special song that reminded me of my dad. Our photographer saved us from a soaking-wet ceremony — and gloomy pictures — by alerting us that morning of heavy rain forecast for later in the day. As a result, we moved everything up, including asking a mobile beauty bus (which cost about $150 with tip for hair and makeup) to meet me an hour earlier. Thank goodness for kind people.</p><div type="image" title="Three sons watch their mother and father get married with mountains in the background." height="6016" width="4016" msid="105334700" hostid="261"></div><h2>The wedding ended with a rainbow</h2><p>With little time to spare, we kicked off the main event with the processional song. Our sons served as ring-bearers. My husband and I independently quoted the same song in our vows to each other. We recited the Family Blending vows to the boys. In a symbolic nod from my dad, a rainbow appeared right after the ceremony ended. All three kids signed our marriage certificate as witnesses.</p><p>Here's the thing about getting remarried in your 40s, at least in our case: You have enough life experience and wisdom to know that a healthy, lasting relationship takes serious sustained effort. Also, you are keenly aware — to quote the band Old Dominion — that "Life is short. Make it sweet."</p><p>Ours is even sweeter, having shared the journey to our wedding day with our kids.</p><p><em>Got a personal essay about living abroad or parenting that you want to share? Get in touch with the editor: </em><a target="_blank" rel="noopener noreferrer nofollow" href="mailto:akarplus@insider.com"><em><u>akarplus@insider.com</u></em></a><em>.</em></p>

How my husband and I planned a wedding in one week and stayed under our $3,000 budget

<ul class="summary-list"><li>According to <keyword id="11896825" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding" source="Orion">wedding</keyword> experts, some trends are timeless while others are expiring.</li><li>Bouquet tosses and balloon arches are expected to be less common at 2022 ceremonies.</li></ul><p>Even though <a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-planner-best-and-worst-trends-for-next-year-2021-11">some wedding trends are timeless</a>, others fade year to year. </p><p>So Insider asked wedding experts about the trends they expect to disappear this year, and which ones will likely flourish. </p><h2>Don't expect wedding registries to be filled with physical items </h2><p>Although we're <a href="https://www.insider.com/what-to-get-couples-for-the-holidays-according-to-wedding-experts-2021">used to seeing items</a> like kitchen essentials, home decor and necessities, and backyard accessories on wedding registries, Rachel Jo Silver, founder and CEO of <a href="https://lovestoriestv.com/">Love Stories TV</a>, a wedding-focused online marketplace, said she expects a shift.</p><p>"During the pandemic when everyone was stuck at home, they invested in things to make their living spaces more comfortable," Silver said. "Couples aren't looking for items for their kitchen, bedroom, yard, etc. — that's where they spent their own money last year."</p><p>More couples may opt to include donations to a charity of their choice or a honeymoon fund.</p><h2>Bouquet and garter tosses may continue disappearing</h2><div type="image" title="Bride in white dressing holding pink and green flower bouquet with both hands" height="1451" width="1935" msid="88361493" hostid="261"></div><p>Although bouquet and garter tosses were previously seen as a wedding staple, photographer Thomas Beaman of <a href="https://paunveiled.com/">PA Unveiled</a> said this old tradition might be on its way out.</p><p>"Couples do not want to clear their dance floor for these outdated traditions," Beaman said. "We planned and photographed 47 weddings last year and only four or five couples did a bouquet/garter toss."</p><p>Instead, couples are coming up with <a href="https://www.insider.com/best-ideas-to-make-your-wedding-unique-from-wedding-planner-2021-7">unique events of their own</a>, like a private dance, to replace these reception activities. </p><h2>Couples may pass on wedding favors this year</h2><p>Lindsey Nickel, owner of and <keyword id="11921879" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding-planner" source="Orion">wedding planner</keyword> at <a href="https://www.lovelydayevents.com/">Lovely Day Events</a>, told Insider that couples are <a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-advice-best-and-worst-trends-2021">rethinking what details are important on their big day</a>, and wedding favors likely won't make the cut.</p><p>"Favors will fade in 2022," Nickel said. "Planning a wedding during COVID taught couples to focus on the things that really matter to them, and for many, that was not a favor."</p><p>Nickel added that couples are "becoming increasingly aware of wasted funds" and don't want to spend money on souvenirs that'll just get left behind.</p><h2>Balloon decor is predicted to decrease in popularity </h2><div type="image" title="arch of white balloons inside an event space with large, open windows" height="1004" width="1339" msid="88361495" hostid="261"></div><p>Even though balloon arches have made their way into just about every type of event, this trendy decor may be on the outs, according to Katie Brownstein, director of marketing at <a href="https://withjoy.com/">Joy</a>, a wedding-planning platform. </p><p>"Balloon installations and arches have been synonymous with wedding decor — and let's be honest, basically all types of event decor — the last couple of years, but this trend is fading fast," Brownstein told Insider.</p><p>She said that flower walls and arches are becoming a lot more popular instead. </p><h2>Minimonies and micro-weddings will likely become exceptions to the rule</h2><p>As couples eagerly sought <a href="https://www.insider.com/best-ideas-that-made-my-small-unqiue-wedding-special-photos-2021-10">creative ways to wed</a> without being able to have a large gathering over the pandemic, there was a surge of minimonies and micro-weddings.</p><p>But <a href="https://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-ideas/author/kim-forrest">Kim Forrest</a>, senior editor at <a href="https://www.weddingwire.com/">WeddingWire</a>, said we'll see less of these going forward.</p><p>"I wouldn't say that minimonies and micro-weddings will disappear in 2022, but I do think we'll see them become the exception rather than rule," Forrest told Insider. "After COVID-related gathering restrictions loosened up, couples were eager to celebrate with loved ones, paving the way for the reemergence of larger guest lists."</p><h2>Open eating at weddings has seen a drop in popularity</h2><div type="image" title="Wedding catering, wedding food" height="800" width="1066" msid="88361498" hostid="261"></div><p>Doughnut walls, grazing tables, and quick-to-grab champagne flutes swept the industry in recent years.</p><p>But Allyson Maynard, owner of <a href="https://www.wispproductions.com/">WISPP</a>, a company that films weddings, told Insider that even though these <a href="https://www.insider.com/what-to-know-before-you-do-popular-wedding-trends-advice-2021-8">trends make for fun social-media photos</a>, they're becoming less popular.</p><p>"Free-for-all food grabs out in the open are definitely out," Maynard said. "Catering is much more refined this year and couples will revert back to table service." </p><h2>On the other hand, you should expect to see more weekday weddings</h2><p>Beaman told Insider that he expects a rise in the number of weekday weddings this year.</p><p>"Every single wedding venue that we work with is either completely booked for 2022 — Friday, Saturday, or Sunday — or they are getting very close to being fully booked," he said. "There are still so many couples who pushed their wedding to 2022 because of COVID-19."</p><p>Venues and other vendors also might offer weekday discounts.</p><h2>Electronic invitations are having a major moment</h2><p>Electronic invitations entered the industry at a rising pace as weddings were rescheduled and postponed <a href="https://www.insider.com/making-wedding-guests-send-proof-of-covid-test-vaccine-advice-2021-11">during the pandemic</a>, and Nickel told Insider that they're here to stay.</p><p>"2021 saw the rise of electronic invitations since guest lists and dates were uncertain until close to the wedding date," Nickel said.</p><p>"Electronic save the dates and invitations will continue to be popular for 2022 as couples focus their budget on the wedding-day experience and being conscious about waste," she said.</p><h2>Sparkler exits are still trending</h2><div type="image" title="Couple embracing in the center of a tunnel of held sparklers at wedding" height="1452" width="1937" msid="88361500" hostid="261"></div><p>Many couples choose to be sent off through a sparkler tunnel at the end of their wedding night, and that trend's not going anywhere any time soon.</p><p>"Sparklers started as a wedding trend but have made the transition to a wedding classic," Brownstein said, adding that a lot of couples think sparklers are "timeless." </p><h2>Couples are opting to support charity funds as part of their wedding</h2><p>Melissa Trentadue, manager of community at <a href="http://zola.com/">Zola</a>, a wedding-registry website, told Insider that more couples are including charity funds in their wedding registries. </p><p>"While we've seen that couples are getting more specific with cash funds generally, charity funds, in particular, have increased in popularity," Trentadue said. </p><p>Trentadue explained that opting to <a href="https://www.insider.com/top-rated-charities-social-causes-2018-11">support a charity</a> raises both money and awareness for the cause.</p><h2>Diamond alternatives are surging in popularity</h2><div type="image" title="gold and silver with with green jewel lying on counter" height="1445" width="1927" msid="88361502" hostid="261"></div><p>Maynard told Insider that alternatives to <a href="https://www.insider.com/i-wore-a-fake-engagement-ring-for-a-week-experiment-2019-2">traditional diamond rings</a> will continue to rise in popularity.</p><p>"Handmade rings from boutique and artisan jewelers are on the rise. The conflict-free diamond-alternative stone, Moissanite, is soaring in popularity," Maynard said. </p><p>She added that <a href="https://scottjamesjewelry.com/collections/rings/products/teton-range-band?variant=39392545243235">Mountain Range Topography rings</a> are particularly popular among couples who eloped in "epic or adventurous locations." </p><h2>Sustainable weddings are set to take off throughout 2022</h2><p>Younger generations are giving their attention to sustainability and doing their best to eliminate waste — even when it comes to their big day, according to <a href="https://www.theknot.com/content/author/esther-lee">Esther Lee</a>, senior editor at <a href="https://www.theknot.com/">The Knot</a>.</p><p>"Sustainability will gain even more popularity in 2022 with more to-be-weds pursuing deeper conversations about their <a href="https://www.insider.com/easy-ways-to-help-the-environment-2019-3">environmental footprint</a> with their planning team," Lee told Insider. </p><p>The wedding expert added that millennial and Gen-Z couples are "more mindful about sustainability and the future of our planet," so they'll "approach wedding planning with deeper care and concern."</p><h2>Customized wedding activities, such as reversed timelines, will likely replace standard traditions</h2><div type="image" title="couple in wedding attire surrounded by guests and cutting into a cake" height="1426" width="1901" msid="88361505" hostid="261"></div><p>After wedding postponements, and cancellations, couples are <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-plan-attend-a-wedding-during-covid-19-wedding-advice-2021">ready to do things their way</a> and make their big day everything they want it to be.</p><p>"Several wedding professionals we talked to referred to a sense of freedom when it comes to planning <a href="https://nam11.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.weddingwire.com%2Fwedding-ideas%2Fwedding-trends&amp;data=04%7C01%7CLauren%40jonesworks.com%7C3e76037af2304366ee8308d9a080f721%7C3dcd211048134fee957ac0b8e4d6a059%7C0%7C0%7C637717298019716556%7CUnknown%7CTWFpbGZsb3d8eyJWIjoiMC4wLjAwMDAiLCJQIjoiV2luMzIiLCJBTiI6Ik1haWwiLCJXVCI6Mn0%3D%7C1000&amp;sdata=%2Fm1Jlnkq6A%2BKDSQSEavQLyvnZxA1Ee%2FMN8oEV%2FY1eW8%3D&amp;reserved=0">2022 weddings</a>," Forrest said. "Couples have waited so long to celebrate with loved ones, they're going to do things their way and not do things just because they're 'tradition' or expected by family."</p><p>She added this could mean incorporating bold colors, booking a food truck, or switching up the usual wedding-day timeline, like by putting cocktail hour first.</p><h2>Videographers and filmographers may be a nonnegotiable for many couples</h2><p>Matt Dalley, cofounder and co-CEO of <a href="https://simplyeloped.com/">Simply Eloped</a>, a group of elopement planning experts, told Insider that after an era filled with recorded and livestreamed weddings, videography will continue to be incorporated for years to come.</p><p>"The smaller weddings and elopements are all about the couple, but they still want to share every moment later," Dalley said. "The best way to announce you have tied the knot is via a video announcement of the moment you became a happy couple."</p><p>Couples are looking to find <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-get-best-wedding-pictures-according-to-wedding-photographer-2021-9">more ways to share their big day</a> with loved ones, and videography is filling that gap.</p>

6 wedding trends that are disappearing in 2022, and 8 you'll see everywhere

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Jillian Lynch got married on May 13, 2022, in a dress she found at a thrift shop.</li><li>The white dress cost her just $3.75. She also thrifted shoes for $8.</li></ul><p>When bride Jillian Lynch, a 32-year-old from Ohio, set out to find a <keyword id="11896827" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding-dress" source="Orion">wedding dress</keyword>, she headed to a thrift shop.</p><p>Lynch, who works as a talent associate for a non-profit, is an avid thrifter. Finding her <keyword id="11896825" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding" source="Orion">wedding</keyword> gown at a thrift shop felt natural to her <keyword id="11895715" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="style" source="Orion">style</keyword>. </p><p>"Because I thrift all the time, it was just the option," she said. "I never even considered going to a bridal shop."</p><h2>Lynch decided she wanted to wear a white dress after she started planning her intimate wedding</h2><p>Lynch told Insider that she and her partner of 13 years didn't picture themselves getting married until the spring of 2021.</p><p>"We planned on being life partners and supporting each other throughout our lives, but marriage didn't seem necessary," she said. "I don't know what changed, but about a year ago, we were like, 'Let's be husband and wife.'"</p><p>They knew a big wedding wasn't for them, but found a microwedding was the right guest count. They planned a 30-person celebration at the Social House in Tempe, Arizona, where the majority of their family and friends live. It was held on May 13, 2022.</p><div type="image" title="A bride and groom grin at each other in front of a tree on their wedding day." height="880" width="1174" msid="92213980" hostid="261"></div><p>After they chose a venue, Lynch started shopping for a dress.</p><p>"I just started looking for dresses, not <keyword id="11895720" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding-dresses" source="Orion">wedding dresses</keyword>, but simple white dresses," she told Insider. "I didn't want anything too formal."</p><p>And she kicked off by looking at second-hand shops. After four days of <keyword id="11922150" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="thrifting" source="Orion">thrifting</keyword>, Lynch found a <a href="https://affiliate.insider.com?u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.revolve.com%2Fcamila-coelho-reyna-maxi-dress%2Fdp%2FCOEL-WD85%2F%3Fd%3DWomens%26page%3D1%26lc%3D43%26itrownum%3D11%26itcurrpage%3D1%26itview%3D05">Camilla Coelho dress</a>. The mid-length, slip dress had an asymmetrical neckline and a daring slit. </p><p>"I feel like it straddled that line of bridal to not being related to wedding at all," Lynch said of the dress.</p><div type="image" title="A bride poses in her wedding dress." height="3522" width="2000" msid="92213981" hostid="261"></div><p>It also came at quite an inexpensive price for a dress, let alone wedding attire. Lynch paid $3.75. </p><p>The dress is currently available on Revolve for $220. </p><p>She bought the dress, but said she was unsure if she would ultimately wear it to the wedding. She posted a video of herself in the dress on <a href="https://www.tiktok.com/@jilly_lynch/video/7086158379302898986?_d=secCgYIASAHKAESPgo8tGYpRqywwq03lcn9kWAf3rGcBbtqDKGj0%2BU645%2FDkAy5ze378f%2FbRWchxb3S%2B7EJ6eHsiaRjnYu2wEjeGgA%3D&amp;_r=1&amp;checksum=2e977751d58691873711bccc35b80f9470a36150fcffd0f6d804163e83dc2127&amp;is_copy_url=1&amp;is_from_webapp=v1&amp;language=en&amp;sec_uid=MS4wLjABAAAANYvfwjgKxU-osTUMq6Og8YBb_l8-TgtaU9-YNdJZ1qK-ty44j1-6OIu-ys1bzuC5&amp;sec_user_id=MS4wLjABAAAANYvfwjgKxU-osTUMq6Og8YBb_l8-TgtaU9-YNdJZ1qK-ty44j1-6OIu-ys1bzuC5&amp;share_app_id=1233&amp;share_author_id=6805688061398713349&amp;share_link_id=8BB66C03-DA3D-4D73-89C9-796B148A1782&amp;source=h5_m&amp;tt_from=copy&amp;u_code=dbch93lja5a9e6&amp;user_id=6805688061398713349&amp;utm_campaign=client_share&amp;utm_medium=ios&amp;utm_source=copy">TikTok</a> — and it quickly racked up more than two million views and thousands of comments from viewers supporting her decision to wear the thrifted gown.</p><blockquote class="tiktok-embed" cite="https://www.tiktok.com/@jilly_lynch/video/7086158379302898986" data-video-id="7086158379302898986" style="max-width: 605px;min-width: 325px;"> <section> <a target="_blank" title="@jilly_lynch" href="https://www.tiktok.com/@jilly_lynch">@jilly_lynch</a> <p>so happy with all these finds </p> <a target="_blank" title="♬ original sound - Jillian" href="https://www.tiktok.com/music/original-sound-7086158345543011118">♬ original sound - Jillian</a> </section> </blockquote> <p>"Brides tend to go wedding dress shopping with their mom, their bridal party, or a group of people to get feedback," she said of posting about the dress on TikTok. "It felt a lot like that."</p><p>After the TikTok commentary, Lynch tried on the dress on a few more times, and decided it would be her wedding gown.</p><p>"Hearing the feedback through TikTok that it looked like it was made for me, I do think that swayed me," she said. "After making that TikTok, I fell more in love with it every time I tried it on. I felt really pretty in it."</p><h2>Lynch tailored the dress so it fit perfectly</h2><p>Lynch dropped the dress at a local tailor to ensure it fit well on the wedding day. She said she had the waist taken in, and swapped the adjustable straps for custom straps, a suggestion from a TikTok follower. She said the follower said it would elevate the gown.</p><div type="image" title="A bride poses on her wedding day." height="1728" width="2592" msid="92213983" hostid="261"></div><p>Her Tiktok followers also gave her advice on the daring slit, which resulted in Lynch adding lace to make the slit more demure.</p><p>"I didn't want to think I was showing too much skin," Lynch said of adding the lace. She admits she would have "never thought though of" adding lace to close a slit.</p><p>The alterations cost $110, so Lynch ultimately spent $113.75 on the dress. She paired it with heels she thrifted for $8, and she did her own hair and makeup for the day.</p><div type="image" title="A bride walks down a sidewalk in her wedding dress." height="1100" width="1466" msid="92213984" hostid="261"></div><p>Lynch said she felt "amazing" in her wedding dress.</p><p>"I don't think I've ever felt that great in something," she said. "That's what brides should feel on their wedding day, like they're at their peak beautiful self. That's exactly how I felt when I put it on."</p><p>Lynch said her wedding dress was right for her because she stopped pressuring herself to find the "perfect" dress. She admits that the second she stopped asking herself if it were "the one," picking a look was more fun than stressful.</p><h2>The wedding felt more meaningful than Lynch imagined</h2><p>Although she said that she didn't spend years dreaming of the day she got married, Lynch surprised herself by loving her wedding, even the traditional aspects.</p><div type="image" title="A bride and groom look at each other and walk down a courtyard on their wedding day." height="1099" width="1466" msid="92213985" hostid="261"></div><p>For instance, she asked her dad to walk her down the aisle.</p><p>"I could see how much it meant to him, and it actually ended up meaning a lot to me," she said.</p><p>Plus, she said she was just excited to enjoy the day with her new husband.</p><p>"We rolled with everything," she said. "We were together, just having a fun day versus trying to make this planned event go well."</p>

A bride went viral on TikTok when she wore a thrifted wedding dress that cost just $3.75

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Will and <keyword id="32912" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="Jada-Pinkett-Smith">Jada Pinkett Smith</keyword>'s therapist, Michaela Boehm, appeared on an episode of "Red Table Talk" to give advice to couples experiencing heartbreak this year. </li><li>One couple, Quejonne and David, had to cancel their <keyword id="6358814" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding">wedding</keyword> due to the pandemic. </li><li>While pressing pause on the special day was heartbreaking, Boehm said the hardship will likely make their relationship stronger in years to come. </li><li>"Couples who face adversity together have the best chance of a long term relationship," Boehm said. </li></ul><p>For many, 2020 has been a year filled with different types of heartbreaks.</p><p>This week's episode of "Red Table Talk," a relationships and family talk show hosted by Jada Pinkett Smith, brought up ways to help us all cope with them. Smith oftentimes explains issues through the lens of her family, but this week she gave others a chance to air their own hardships and get the same therapy as the A-list family. </p><p>Quejonne and David had everything on their wedding checklist finished just in time for their ceremony in March. Guests from across the country had been invited, Quejonne had her white gown, and the venue was set. </p><p>But just two days before their wedding, the pandemic was declared and shut down their entire event. </p><p>"It was like a tidal wave had hit us with only 48 hours left," David said. "We had to cancel all the vendors, the venue cancelled on us, we had to call everyone who was going to try to travel."</p><p>Quejonne and David are not alone in their heartbreak. According to a survey by "Red Table Talk," 63% of engaged couples had to postpone their weddings in 2020 due to the pandemic. </p><p>Some couples have found ways to put on their special during the pandemic, with some <a href="https://www.insider.com/stunning-photos-of-microweddings-show-how-special-they-can-be-2020-9">micro-wedding success stories. </a>However, some (<a href="https://www.insider.com/300-person-washington-wedding-led-to-2-coronavirus-outbreaks-2020-11">particularly large indoor weddings</a>) caused a spike in cases of <keyword id="8763838" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="covid-19">COVID-19</keyword>, and were deemed "super-spreader events." </p><h2>The silver lining</h2><p>However, there may be a silver lining for Quejonne and David and all the couples who have had to postpone. Michaela Boehm, Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's relationship counselor, told the couple hardship could make their relationship stronger than ever. </p><p>"Couples who face adversity together have the best chance of a long term relationship," Boehm told Quejonne and David during an episode of "Red Table Talk." "The way you're sitting there, the way she's leaning against you, David, you clearly have grown something in the adversity and in the joined loss." </p><p>"Often, the big wedding takes on a life of its own and the real love and the real care get a little bit lost. It's so beautiful because you kind of get to do it the other way around," Boehm said. "I can promise you it's going to be much deeper because you've come to it as a more mature couple." </p><h2><strong>Check out the full episode of "Red Table Talk" below:</strong></h2><iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/plugins/video.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fredtabletalk%2Fvideos%2F167244998432154%2F&amp;show_text=0&amp;width=560" width="560" height="315" style="border:none;overflow:hidden" scrolling="no" frameborder="0"></iframe><p><em><strong>Read More:</strong></em></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/matthew-mcconaughey-doesnt-yell-wife-kids-family-red-table-talk-2020-11">Matthew McConaughey says that he doesn't raise his voice in front of his wife or kids</a></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/jada-pinkett-smith-repressed-rage-tried-to-kill-herself-twice-2020-11">Jada Pinkett Smith says that 'repressed rage' caused her to have suicidal thoughts</a></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/jada-pinkett-smith-raised-willow-jaden-differently-red-table-talk-2020-10">Jada Pinkett Smith says she was stricter with Willow compared to Jaden because Black women have to work harder in the world</a></p>

Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's therapist consoled a couple who canceled their wedding due to COVID-19: 'I can promise you it's going to be much deeper'

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Nichi Hodgson was struggling in work meetings and found herself crying over the smallest things.</li><li>She tried BWRT, a treatment that has been used on police prison officers in South Africa.</li></ul><p>Like many others, I struggled to bounce back mentally from the pandemic.</p><p>People we knew and loved died from <keyword id="11893994" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="covid-19" source="Orion">COVID-19</keyword>. My wedding was canceled. I was indefinitely separated from my immediate family in Australia. My partner's hospitality business was decimated, and I lost work.</p><p>Some of these stressors resolved themselves: My partner's business bounced back, I found new work, and we managed to have a microwedding.</p><p>Yet I still felt sad. My concentration was shot. In meetings, my mind wandered and I would find myself close to tears over the smallest of things.</p><p>While researching alternative therapies for a work project, I found out about brain-working recursive <keyword id="12123622" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="therapy" source="Orion">therapy</keyword>, or BWRT, and was curious whether it could help. </p><p>Unlike conventional talking or cognitive behavioral therapies I've undergone over the years - with varying degrees of success - BWRT, according to the <a href="https://bwrt-worldwide.com/">BWRT website</a>, claims to "reprogram your emotional or habitual responses, through the power of your thoughts alone." One South African analyst has said that police and <a href="https://www.ns-healthcare.com/analysis/south-africa-mental-health-bwrt-rafiq-lockhat/#">prison officers have been able to return to the job</a> after witnessing traumatic incidents thanks to just one or two sessions of BWRT.  </p><p>A one-hour session of BWRT costs between 60 pounds and 100 pounds (about $80-140), depending on where the therapist is located. I was paired with Lisa Jury of the BWRT Institute in Essex via Zoom. She started by asking me to recap the past 18 months.</p><p>As I spoke, I realized the one thing I really hadn't moved past was the death of my close friend Lydia. She was just 36 when she died from a brain tumor in May 2020. Her COVID-regulated funeral and the travel restrictions meant I didn't have the opportunity to say goodbye.</p><p>I have since visited her grave, but this hasn't assuaged my deep feelings of <keyword id="12099700" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="grief" source="Orion">grief</keyword>. I was tortured by morbid thoughts of her lying in the ground, often when I was mid-meeting at work. At night, this was often the last thing I thought about before sleep. And I can't unstick these images from my mind.</p><p>After I told her all this, Jury said that BWRT could help me process my grief. The goal of BWRT isn't to end all sad feelings but to become able to feel an appropriate amount of sadness without being overwhelmed.</p><p>On Jury's soothing instruction, I closed my eyes and, for the next 15 minutes or so, conjured thoughts of Lydia. Jury told me to go deep into the most upsetting image I had of Lydia then jolted me by shouting, "Freeze it!"</p><p>For the next 20 minutes or so, Jury had me cycle through positive memories of Lydia. I was encouraged to hold onto them in a manner akin to an auctioneer's patter: "Go back to the much more happy memory, that memory that you've always had, now go back to the bad memory that's frozen and freeze it, now go back to your much happier memory," and so on.</p><p>As we flipped back and forth between the positive and the negative memories, I found that the negative memories just didn't have the same ferocity anymore. It seemed as though they were losing their hold on me.</p><p>Finally, for the last 20 minutes, Jury had me prepare to say goodbye to Lydia in my mind, to have the goodbye that we did not get. She told me to say, in my head, everything to her that I had wanted to say but didn't get the chance to when she was alive. Jury told me to take my time; otherwise I wouldn't feel as though I'd said farewell.</p><p>When the session ended, Jury asked me how I felt. "Calm," I said, with surprise.</p><p>Over the next few weeks, as my mind wandered to thoughts of Lydia, I found I was not as upset. The distressing images I had of her weren't as strong. I can look back at old photos of the pair of us with a greater ease.</p><p>A full week after the therapy, I realized I hadn't once thought about Lydia when I was meant to be working. And I was no longer wrestling with the same distraction that had been affecting my performance. Something had shifted. I finally felt like I could move forward.</p><p>I've always believed that it can take months of therapy to work through trickier issues. But after just one hour of BWRT, I felt lighter and more optimistic. By talking to Jury, I realized that some of the things I'd been telling myself I was still sad about - my canceled wedding, for example, - were actually no longer problems for me.</p><p>Meanwhile, homing in on what was really still upsetting me, the death of my  friend Lydia, was actually liberating. </p><p>Many of us are experiencing a block right now, unable to quite lift ourselves out of the gloom of the past 18 months. I can't say whether BWRT is right for everyone, but it left me feeling lighter, more focused, and more optimistic. It was pandemic processing therapy I needed. </p><p><em>This is a personal <keyword id="11898458" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="essay" source="Orion">essay</keyword>. It does not constitute medical advice.</em></p><p><em>Nichi Hodgson's treatment was provided courtesy of the </em><a href="https://bwrt-worldwide.com/"><em>BWRT Institute</em></a><em>, whose sessions begin at 60 pounds.</em></p>

I tried a PTSD therapy used by police officers to help process my friend's death. It worked so much faster than I was expecting.

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Chase Thomas and Emily Zilich got married at Louis Armstrong <keyword id="16423" type="CITY" weightage="60" keywordseo="New-Orleans">New Orleans</keyword> International <keyword id="6355752" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="airport">Airport</keyword> on September 4.</li><li>After rescheduling their ceremony twice, the couple decided they didn't want to wait until it was safe to have large gatherings to get married.</li><li>The couple's ceremony was officiated by their local pastor, and their family members attended via Zoom.</li><li>"We never imagined it would look like this, yet at the same time, we'll never forget the way that it happened," Zilich told Insider of her <keyword id="6358814" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding">wedding</keyword>.</li></ul><p>One New Orleans couple didn't want to wait for the pandemic to end to tie the knot.</p><p>Chase Thomas and Emily Zilich got married at <a href="https://flymsy.com/">Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport</a> (MSY) on September 4, less than two hours before hopping on a flight to Oaxaca, Mexico, for their honeymoon.</p><p>The couple originally set a date for an April 2020 wedding, but their plans quickly changed due to the coronavirus pandemic.</p><p>"We were originally scheduled for April 4, but as everything started going crazy in early March — about three weeks out from the wedding — we had to call it," Zilich told Insider.</p><p>The couple told their guests they were postponing and picked a date in October. However, as the day drew closer, New Orleans remained in <a href="https://www.neworleans.com/blog/post/new-orleans-reopening/">Phase 2 of reopening</a>, and indoor gatherings of more than 25 people are still not allowed. </p><div type="image" title="The couple had their bags packed for their honeymoon in Mexico." height="1333" width="1778" msid="78132987" hostid="261"></div><p>Zilich told Insider almost all of their family lives out of town and would have needed to <keyword id="6354692" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="Travel">travel</keyword> to the wedding. </p><p>"We just didn't feel comfortable asking people to take that risk," she said. </p><p>Additionally, Zilich shared that New Orleans has had to frequently readjust their pandemic-related regulations, and they didn't want any surprises to add extra stress to their big day.</p><h2>The couple decided to cancel their big wedding plans altogether and elope</h2><p>The couple's parents didn't mind not being able to attend in person.</p><p>"All three sets of our parents had told us independently, 'Why don't you just get married on your own?' So we knew no one would be really upset," Zilich said.</p><p>The couple knew they wanted to get married in New Orleans because it's where they fell in love. Both originally from out-of-state — Zilich from Connecticut and Thomas from Oklahoma — they met in New Orleans via the dating app Bumble in 2018.</p><div type="image" title="Their local pastor officiated the wedding." height="4160" width="5546" msid="78132994" hostid="261"></div><p>They also wanted to get married nearby so that their local pastor could officiate their wedding. At the same time, they were planning a trip to Mexico for their honeymoon, so they decided the airport was the perfect place to have their ceremony.</p><p>They originally planned to tie the knot outside the airport terminal so that they wouldn't have to wear masks in their wedding photos, but once they arrived at the airport, Thomas went inside and noticed that the new terminal was totally empty.</p><p>The terminal, which opened in November 2019, features a beautiful tree mural that was the perfect place to capture their special moment. The couple tied the knot as their family watched via Zoom on a mobile phone. </p><div type="image" title="Their families watched the ceremony via Zoom." height="1333" width="1777" msid="78133002" hostid="261"></div><p>"It kind of all just fell into place," Zilich said. "Once we planned and canceled two separate weddings we didn't really care anymore — we just wanted to get married."</p><p>After a brief, 25-minute ceremony, the couple boarded a flight to Oaxaca, Mexico, to enjoy their honeymoon.</p><p>"We never imagined it would look like this, yet at the same time, we'll never forget the way that it happened," Zilich said of her special day.</p><p>New Orleans Airport's official Twitter account <a href="https://twitter.com/flyneworleans/status/1301970573606649856">posted a photo</a> of the couple to celebrate their nuptials, writing: "A huge congratulations to Chase and Emily on their <keyword id="6355896" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="Marriage">marriage</keyword>. May they have a long, happy life of love and adventure!"</p><blockquote class="twitter-tweet blockquote" data-lang="en" data-cards="" data-conversation="">—New Orleans Airport  (@flyneworleans) <a href="https://twitter.com/mims/statuses/1301971158976344066?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">September 4, 2020</a></blockquote><p>Representatives for Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport did not immediately respond to Insider's request for comment.</p><ul class="read-more-links"><li>Read more:</li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/stunning-photos-of-microweddings-show-how-special-they-can-be-2020-9">20 stunning photos of microweddings that show how special the small events can be</a></li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/maine-coronavirus-outbreak-linked-to-65-person-indoor-wedding-2020-8">Maine's wedding coronavirus outbreak highlights the dangers of indoor nuptials</a></li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/stop-throwing-big-weddings-its-not-about-you-2020-8">Stop throwing big weddings in the middle of a pandemic. It's not just about you.</a></li></ul>

A New Orleans couple got married at the city's airport 2 hours before hopping on a flight to Mexico for their honeymoon

<ul class="summary-list"><li>This article contains spoilers for "<keyword id="42783" type="ENTERTAINMENT" weightage="60" keywordseo="New-girl">New Girl</keyword>."</li><li>Schmidt and Cece get married in the season five finale of "New Girl."</li><li>Schmidt ends up having to attend the reception virtually, and the couple later get married with just their parents and roommates in attendance.</li><li>Combined, the two celebrations make for a safe and beautiful event people could have amid the pandemic. </li></ul><p>Although <a href="https://www.insider.com/stop-throwing-big-weddings-its-not-about-you-2020-8">large gatherings</a> contribute to the spread of the coronavirus, millions of people have still had <keyword id="6367159" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="weddings">weddings</keyword> in 2020. </p><p>Figuring out how to safely hold a wedding has become a source of stress, controversy, and confusion for engaged couples. </p><p>But an iconic sitcom couple's wedding provides a model for those hoping to get married with minimal risk before there's a vaccine.</p><h2>Schmidt and Cece's wedding doesn't go according to plan on 'New Girl'</h2><p>After four seasons of on-again-off-again antics, Schmidt and Cece finally tie the knot in the season five finale of "New Girl."</p><p>Much of the fifth season is dedicated to Schmidt planning their dream wedding, with the type-A planner painstakingly picking out everything from the venue to accessories for the bridal party.</p><p>But when the big day finally comes, Schmidt isn't there.</p><div type="image" title="cece schmidt" height="947" width="1262" msid="79614663" hostid="261"></div><p>In a moment of simultaneous chivalry and stupidity, Schmidt gets on a plane to Portland, Oregon, on the day of the wedding to convince Cece's mother to attend the event. However, she shows up at the wedding of her own accord in a classic sitcom switcheroo. And to make matters worse, Schmidt ends up trapped on the plane because of landing gear issues.</p><p>The technical difficulties cause him to miss his own wedding.</p><p>The setup is perfect for an epic Schmidt meltdown for which he's known for on the show. But rather than moping about missing the event he's been planning for months, Schmidt tells Cece to go forward with the wedding despite his absence. </p><div type="image" title="schmidt new girl" height="1128" width="1504" msid="79614664" hostid="261"></div><p>"Have the party without me," he tells his fiancée on the phone. "We'll get married at City Hall."</p><p>"Your whole life has been about this party," Cece objects.</p><p>"My whole life is you," he responds. "I'm so happy." </p><p>And he truly is happy. Although Schmidt was excited about the wedding celebration, his marriage and the happiness of his partner is all that really matters, so he doesn't mind missing the big day. </p><h2>The couple's real wedding ends up much smaller than they anticipated</h2><p>Schmidt can't physically come to his wedding reception at his father's vineyard, but he's still able to celebrate with his loved ones.</p><p>He calls into the party via video chat, virtually attending the outdoor wedding - like millions of others around the world have had to do for events in 2020.</p><div type="image" title="schmidt and cece 2" height="1609" width="2146" msid="79614668" hostid="261"></div><p>But later that night, Schmidt's friends surprise him with an intimate wedding ceremony so he and Cece can officially get married.</p><p>The ceremony takes place at the loft where most of the central characters on the show live, and only the residents of the home, a couple staying with them, and Schmidt and Cece's parents attend.</p><p>They set up a chuppah-Mandap hybrid in the living room and cover the space with flowers, making the small ceremony just as beautiful as the big event. </p><p>The wedding only had 14 attendees total, including the bride and groom and two officiants.  </p><h2>Combined, Schmidt and Cece's weddings make for a safe and beautiful event people could have amid the pandemic</h2><p>Although the episode featuring Schmidt and Cece's wedding aired in 2016, four years before the coronavirus pandemic, it provides a blueprint for 2020 microweddings.</p><p>If you combined Schmidt and Cece's ceremony and reception, you would have an almost ideal pandemic wedding.</p><p>An outdoor wedding with less than 15 total attendees - most of whom live in the same household - would be much safer than a large gathering. Indoor weddings with lots of guests have proven to be <a href="https://www.insider.com/coronavirus-ohio-wedding-nearly-half-test-positive-including-couple-2020-11">coronavirus superspreader events</a>, so an intimate ceremony would be less risky.  </p><p>The couple also provided a virtual option to enable more people to come to the event (i.e. the groom in this case), which has almost become a <a href="https://www.insider.com/virtual-wedding-planning-coronavirus-pandemic-2020-8">staple of pandemic weddings</a>. Schmidt and Cece were just ahead of the game.</p><div type="image" title="schmidt cece wedding" height="1124" width="1498" msid="79614672" hostid="261"></div><p>It would be easy - and pretty affordable - to replicate Schmidt and Cece's wedding for yourself.</p><p>You could replace the loft setting with a backyard or park, and chairs, flowers, and an altar aren't difficult or expensive to come by.</p><p>Your officiant could wear a mask, as could your guests. It would be even safer if those guests were in your household or pandemic "bubble," so you wouldn't be adding anyone new to your circle just for a party.</p><p>The outdoor setting would allow you to social distance as well. Plus, if the event offered a way for people to virtually attend, guests who couldn't physically come to the wedding could still be part of the celebrations. </p><h2>Schmidt and Cece could pull off their wedding because they were focused on their marriage rather than a party</h2><p>Of course, not everything about Schmidt and Cece's wedding would work in the pandemic. The original reception had far too many guests, no one was wearing masks or social distancing, many people traveled via plane to get there, and their ceremony would have been safer if it took place outdoors.</p><p>But their wedding day demonstrates that it's possible to have a beautiful, happy, and safe wedding even if it isn't what you originally imagined. And even more so, you don't have to see that change as a loss. </p><p>We'd all prefer to have everyone we love around to celebrate the milestone of marriage with us, but sometimes circumstances make that impossible. </p><p>At the end of the day, all that matters is you get to marry your person and live a happy life with them. You can honor that step without unnecessarily putting your loved ones at risk.</p><p>And even if they're not at the wedding, the people who love you will be there to support you throughout your marriage.</p><p>"For the first time, I see what the rest of my life looks like," Schmidt says in his vows to Cece, driving home why people get married.</p><p>If you focus on that life together instead of the day you make it official, pandemic wedding planning will become a lot simpler. </p><ul class="read-more-links"><li>Read more:</li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/stop-throwing-big-weddings-its-not-about-you-2020-8">Stop throwing big weddings in the middle of a pandemic. It's not just about you.</a></li><li><a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/fauci-weddings-parties-vacations-2022-is-a-pretty-good-bet-2020-9">Fauci says planning weddings and parties for 2022 is 'a pretty good bet'</a></li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/virtual-wedding-planning-coronavirus-pandemic-2020-8">Virtual weddings are becoming the norm during the pandemic, and wedding planners think they're here to stay</a></li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/new-girl-best-outfits-jess-day-2018-10">The 19 best outfits Jess Day wore on 'New Girl'</a></li></ul>

Schmidt and Cece had the ideal pandemic wedding on 'New Girl'

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Some engaged couples have held weddings with more than 50 guests despite the continued threat of the <keyword id="1754604" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="coronavirus">coronavirus</keyword> pandemic.</li><li>Couples who host weddings right now need to be aware of the danger they're putting guests and staff in, and think about how they would feel if someone contracted COVID-19 at their event.</li><li>People who have attended big weddings recently told Insider they regret going.</li><li>One guest told Insider she saw a groomsman passing around a bottle of alcohol for the bridal party to drink communally, while neither the bride nor the groom wore masks.</li></ul><p>Mary was dreading Cassie's wedding. </p><p>She knew there would be a risk of contracting the coronavirus if she attended, but she didn't feel like she could miss it. She knew the couple had been planning their wedding for years.</p><p>She and her partner decided to go, despite these fears. But they soon proved prescient. Between 50 and 100 guests attended the July event in the Midwestern US, but Mary said only a handful of guests wore masks. She had a panic attack during the reception due to the lack of protection, which added guilt to the already-sizable cocktail of feelings she had about the wedding.</p><p>"I think there was a pressure to perform. Nobody wants to be that person at any social event that's sitting in the corner," Mary told Insider. (Mary didn't want to use her and the bride's real names, or disclose where the wedding took place, because she was concerned about how the bride would react if she found out about this story.)</p><p>Her fears became a reality a few days later, when she and her partner heard whispers that someone who attended the wedding was displaying symptoms of COVID-19, the disease caused by the coronavirus. They decided to get tested because they had been in contact with the person.</p><p>They both tested positive.</p><h2>Wedding season once looked like it would be put on hold</h2><p>In the spring, it seemed like the pandemic would bring <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-confront-friend-about-skipping-pandemic-wedding-safety-advice-2020-7">wedding season</a> to a screeching halt. Widespread fear and anxiety about the virus, as well as state mandates regarding large gatherings, made big celebrations feel like a relic from the Before Times.</p><div type="image" title="bride groom walking bouquet" height="1998" width="2664" msid="77893541" hostid="261"></div><p>Yet as the months have passed, engaged couples found ways to <a href="https://www.insider.com/dont-reschedule-wedding-for-spring-2021-pandemic-wont-be-over-2020-5">hold their big weddings, despite the continued spread of the virus</a> across the US. The Knot defines a wedding with fewer than 50 guests as a "<a href="https://www.theknot.com/content/what-is-a-microwedding#:~:text=What%20Is%20a%20Microwedding%3F,and%20super%2Dclose%20friends%20only.">microwedding</a>," but a gathering of that size is still quite large by public health standards in many states.</p><p>New York, which was once the epicenter of the pandemic, has <a href="https://coronavirus.health.ny.gov/travel-large-gatherings-and-quarantines">limited</a> gatherings to 10 people as the state's case numbers have begun to <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/live/2020/11/11/world/covid-19-coronavirus-live-updates">rise</a> again. Connecticut limits <a href="https://portal.ct.gov/Coronavirus/Covid-19-Knowledge-Base/Latest-Guidance">indoor gatherings to 25 people</a>, as does <a href="https://covid19.nj.gov/faqs/nj-information/reopening-guidance-and-restrictions/are-people-allowed-to-gather-in-person">New Jersey</a>. </p><p>Some couples have bucked health guidelines altogether to turn their dream weddings into reality, even as the US saw dangers spikes in cases. An <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/a-wedding-reception-spread-coronavirus-to-53-people-killing-one-2020-8">outbreak from a 65-person August wedding in Maine</a> — where widespread mask-wearing and social distancing did <a href="https://www.insider.com/cdc-super-spreader-maine-wedding-caused-177-covid-19-cases-2020-11">not</a> happen, despite signs posted around the venue — has now been linked to 177 cases and seven deaths. Another August wedding in Brooklyn, New York was <a href="https://www.ny1.com/nyc/all-boroughs/news/2020/08/19/borough-park-coronavirus-cases-rise-wedding">linked</a> to 16 cases; a July wedding in San Francisco led to at least 10 cases, <a href="https://nypost.com/2020/07/27/halted-san-francisco-wedding-still-leads-to-covid-19-outbreak/">including</a> the bride and groom.</p><p>Whether a couple wants to offset the <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/4-ways-save-money-cancel-postpone-wedding-due-to-coronavirus-2020-5">cost</a> of losing a deposit, doesn't want to delay for a year or two, or simply wants to celebrate with family and friends, these gatherings ignore the ever-present danger — and ubiquity — of the virus, and put guests, staff, and anyone they come into contact with at risk. A celebration can easily turn into a disaster, and there's no way to prevent it, particularly as the US looks to be hurtling toward a second wave of cases.</p><h2>It's best to approach any event with a mindset of 'harm reduction' </h2><p>Even after a COVID-19 vaccine is proven to be safe and effective, it will likely be a difficult, red tape-laden process as officials figure out how to distribute it and who will be first in line. </p><p><a href="https://www.jhsph.edu/faculty/directory/profile/3528/amesh-adalja">Dr. Amesh Adalja</a>, a senior scholar at the Johns Hopkins University Center for Health Security, told Insider that it's best to approach any event with a mindset of "harm reduction" for the next year, because there's no way to entirely eliminate the risk of spreading the virus. Weddings, he said, are particularly risky.</p><p>People often travel to weddings, giving them the opportunity to bring the virus with them from a hotspot. Guests with mild symptoms might attend despite feeling under the weather because they don't want to miss out on the milestone. And infected asymptomatic guests could expose everyone they come in contact with without even realizing it.</p><p>Likewise, elderly and immunocompromised guests might feel like they have to attend. After all, how can they miss out on something that feels like a once-in-a-lifetime event? The engaged couple can tell those guests they don't have to attend, but forcing an elderly person, for example, to choose between risking their life and missing their grandchild's wedding puts them in a terrible position. </p><p>Other guests might not want to social distance or wear masks, as neither practice feels celebratory. Those who try might find themselves slipping after a few drinks. It's easy to imagine: you pull your mask off to pose for a photo with a friend, and then forget to put it back on as you head to the dance floor. </p><p>Weddings are also extremely difficult to contact trace, since people scatter to different regions after the event. "It's very hard when you have an exposure at a mass gathering for contact tracing to be effective, because the person was at a wedding with 400 people, they may have so many contacts," Adalja said. </p><p>"You're going to have a risk of transmission, whether it was 25 or whether it was 50" guests at a wedding, he said. But "it's going to be heightened at 50. And because it's 50, there may be more people involved and more chains of transmission."</p><h2>Engaged couples are putting the burden of safety on their guests</h2><div type="image" title="grooms holding hands wedding" height="1333" width="1777" msid="77893546" hostid="261"></div><p>A wedding is more than just a party. It's a social rite of passage, and its significance makes simply choosing not to attend feel like an unrealistic option. By going forward with the event, engaged couples are putting the burden of safety on their guests. </p><p>Amelia traveled to a wedding in the Southeast US in July, which had already been rescheduled due to the virus. (Like Mary, Amelia didn't want to use her real name or share the location of the wedding in case the couple found out about this piece.)</p><p>She was concerned about exposure to the virus at the 100-person event, but as a bridesmaid, she didn't feel like she could miss her friend's big day. Though she had antibodies, she was still worried about the possibility of reinfection.</p><p>"It felt like peer pressure from the other bridesmaids, too," she told Insider. Members of the bridal party reminded her how difficult postponing had been for the bride, and made her feel as though she would be insulting her friend if she didn't come.</p><p>She and her partner decided to attend the wedding despite their concerns, taking comfort in the fact that masks would be encouraged at the event and that it was an indoor/outdoor venue. But those comforts proved fruitless once they were there.</p><p>"They had masks and had hand sanitizer everywhere, but I just feel like no one was wearing the masks," with the exception of a few older guests, she said. Likewise, most of the guests decided to stay inside throughout the day because it was hot outside.</p><p>The bride and groom didn't wear masks at all during the day, which didn't do much to encourage other guests to don them. At one point, Amelia even saw a groomsman passing around a bottle of alcohol for the bridal party to drink communally.</p><p>"I just thought that there would be a stricter safety policy when I agreed," she said. </p><h2>A couple who willingly hosts a large wedding during the pandemic is sending the message that their day is worth risking their loved ones' lives </h2><p>It's thorny to assign blame if someone contracts the coronavirus after attending a wedding. Is it the couple's fault because they're the reason people gathered in one place? Is it the fault of the guest who brought the virus, even if they were asymptomatic? Or is it the government to blame for making it legal for people to gather?</p><p>The answer is probably a combination of all three. But at the end of the day, a couple who willingly hosts a large wedding during the pandemic is sending the message that their day is worth risking their loved ones' lives over.</p><p>They can take steps to make the wedding safer, but there's no way to get the risk of spreading the virus down to zero.</p><p>If you absolutely have to have a small wedding during the pandemic, there are ways to mitigate risk. Above all, the smaller the better. As Adalja told Insider, "The bigger the event is the more likely you're going to have somebody there that's harboring the virus."</p><p><a href="https://simplyeloped.com/">Simply Eloped</a>, an elopement planning company that offers services in 15 states and Washington DC, is currently limiting its events to 16 guests. The couple and two vendors would also be at the event, so only 20 people maximum are at any of their weddings.</p><p>Couples can trim their guest list so only the most important people in their life attend the wedding in person. (For the rest, there's always Zoom.) Although it might be intimidating to think about uninviting guests, there are ways to do it politely.</p><div type="image" title="MicaelaKarina_Katie&amp;Lian_Blog 17" height="1332" width="1776" msid="77893553" hostid="261"></div><p>Brittny Drye, the editor in chief of <a href="https://nam04.safelinks.protection.outlook.com/?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.loveincmag.com%2F&amp;data=02%7C01%7CKirstin.I.Johnston%40abc.com%7Ccb54ff008fa14c65117a08d8034e0710%7C56b731a8a2ac4c32bf6b616810e913c6%7C1%7C0%7C637262980963686156&amp;sdata=VfFrGM2nZImcCn%2FAspMj0rvvlzV8niA2f1gHRlcQDyk%3D&amp;reserved=0p;reserved=0">Love Inc. Magazine</a>, emphasized communicating openly with guests.</p><p>"Leaving your guests in limbo is not good because they have their own lives and they have their own schedules to make," she said. You can inform them via mail, email, or phone call, but it's important to ensure they've received the notice so they don't show up at your wedding unexpectedly.</p><p>Drye also recommended making the safety of guests and the wedding staff the focus of the conversation, as people's feelings will be less likely to be hurt if it's clear you're worried about them. </p><p>At the event itself, implementing safety measures like mandatory mask-wearing, social distancing, and easily accessible hand sanitizer can help keep guests and staff safe. Holding it outdoors is also better than indoors.</p><p><a href="https://www.micaelakarina.com/">Micaela Karina</a>, a wedding photographer based in the UK, told Insider she only works weddings where <em>she</em> feels safe. She photographed two weddings over the summer; the other 12 were postponed.</p><p>"At both weddings I've shot, the couples dramatically reduced their guest lists — at one, I was even a witness and the photographer," she said. There was hand sanitizer and social distancing at both events, and she wore her mask the entire time.</p><p>Karina said she won't work a wedding that isn't adhering to government guidelines during the pandemic, even if that means she loses money. "I would be prepared to reduce their package costs to maintain the safety of my household," she told Insider. "While I might be losing money, money is replaceable. Lives are not."</p><p><strong>Read more:</strong></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/dont-reschedule-wedding-for-spring-2021-pandemic-wont-be-over-2020-5">Stop rescheduling your wedding for spring 2021 — the pandemic still won't be over</a></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-cancel-or-postpone-a-wedding-according-to-experts-2020-3">Here's how to know if you need to cancel your upcoming wedding — and what you should do instead</a></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/what-everyone-gets-wrong-about-elopements-according-to-an-expert-2020-3">What everyone gets wrong about elopements, according to an expert</a></p>

You Searched For "microweddings" and got 12 results

A chef and influencer is urging people to ditch all the theatrics and have a 'micro-wedding,' a term popularized on TikTok for ceremonies of less than 50 guests

Kieran Press-Reynolds

A couple had a $14,000 micro-wedding in Lake Como, Italy, which included a private chef and a luxury villa stay

Sama Ansari Pour

20 stunning photos of microweddings that show how special the small events can be

Samantha Grindell

TikTokers are arguing over what counts as 'micro-cheating,' a phrase that's growing popularity to name seemingly minor behaviors that could lead to bigger betrayals

Kieran Press-Reynolds

How my husband and I planned a wedding in one week and stayed under our $3,000 budget

Sara Lyle

6 wedding trends that are disappearing in 2022, and 8 you'll see everywhere

Alyssa Towns Swantkoski

A bride went viral on TikTok when she wore a thrifted wedding dress that cost just $3.75

Samantha Grindell

Will and Jada Pinkett Smith's therapist consoled a couple who canceled their wedding due to COVID-19: 'I can promise you it's going to be much deeper'

Canela López

I tried a PTSD therapy used by police officers to help process my friend's death. It worked so much faster than I was expecting.

Nichi Hodgson

A New Orleans couple got married at the city's airport 2 hours before hopping on a flight to Mexico for their honeymoon

Zoë Ettinger

Schmidt and Cece had the ideal pandemic wedding on 'New Girl'

Samantha Grindell

Stop throwing big weddings in the middle of a pandemic. It's not just about you.

Samantha Grindell