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<ul class="summary-list"><li>Darian Dozier is a writer, creator of the <keyword id="259506" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="60" keywordseo="Medical-School">medical school</keyword> admissions and wellness blog <a href="https://melanatedandmeducated.com/">Melanated and Meducated,</a> and current osteopathic medical student based in Houston.</li><li>From a young age, Dozier knew she wanted to become a doctor, and says her <keyword id="6359162" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="parents">parents</keyword>' lessons of studying hard, staying focused, and always trying her best helped her stay motivated throughout the journey to med <keyword id="6356508" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="school">school</keyword>.</li><li>Certain practices, like insisting she finished high school homework on Friday instead of Sunday, taught Dozier the importance of not procrastinating or turning in subpar work.</li><li>Regardless of your child's age, Darian says instilling in them good values, a solid work ethic, and an aim of excellence will lead them to success in any career path.</li></ul><p>It takes a special kind of person to want to go into medicine. The path is really hard, expensive, and incredibly self-doubting. One mitigating factor in all of that is having the right support system. Not only can a good support system really help with getting through medical school, but also the process of getting in. </p><h2><strong>The journey to medical school, and really any profession, doesn't develop overnight.</strong></h2><p>Preparation, planning, and execution starts years before you ever start that first application. When you're still a child or young adult with all of these challenging, long-term goals, it's easy to be nearsighted and just live in the moment.</p><p>You know that eventually you want to become a doctor, lawyer, nurse, professional athlete, etc. At the same time, you don't want to be studying, training, or going to professional development camps all the time. You want to hang with friends, go out, and have fun. This was definitely how I was in high school, and well into college. </p><h2><strong>I'd known that I wanted to be a doctor since I was 15. </strong></h2><p>In high school I had good grades, strong extracurriculars, and the drive to do well. I have always been a competitive and determined person, but I also always had my parents there to push me just a little harder. As self-motivated as I was, there were several times where I got complacent, or just didn't really understand the work it would take to get where I wanted to go.</p><p><em><strong>Read more</strong>: <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/microschool-entrepreneurs-reinventing-education-pandemic-teachers-parents-2020-9">'Microschool' entrepreneurs: 3 founders offering parents a safer, more personalized option for their kids and providing teachers a more lucrative career path</a></em></p><h2><strong>My parents always taught me to give my best effort and work as hard as I could.</strong></h2><p>As simple as this message is, there are a lot of kids who don't get that push to just give their best effort no matter what. My parents and I had this conversation several times in regards to sports, academics, and any other aspects of my life. Without this encouragement and direction, I'm not sure I ever would have had the work ethic that it takes to pursue something as challenging and selective as medical school. </p><p>My parents also put a lot of value on education, which was also really important. I've worked with and studied with many kids who didn't care about school. It was merely a formality, or a legal obligation. When I spoke with many of them, they said their parents didn't put a lot of emphasis on attending school, and they just wanted to work, make money, and support their families. </p><p>This is a common value, and a very understandable one considering the socioeconomic background that my patients or friends came from. However, in the world we are in now, higher education can be the bridge to better health, social, and economical life. Almost any form of higher education is positively correlated with a better predicted life outcome. This is something my parents understood and instilled into me and my brothers. </p><h2><strong>When I was in high school, I would actually get in trouble if I was caught doing homework on Sunday because it should have been finished on Friday. </strong></h2><p>This sounds extreme (it's the weekend, who cares when it gets done) and at the time I felt it was. But I realized later that my parents were trying to teach me the value of not procrastinating, and waiting until the last minute. There's a breath of fresh air you can breathe on Sunday night knowing that all of your assignments are done and you're not cramming and turning in subpar work. These are skills that they wanted me to carry through college, and eventually, medical school. </p><h2><strong>In my mom, I was also given a strong example of what it means to pursue higher education.</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="Darian Dozier" height="750" width="1000" msid="80075311" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>My mom went on to get her PhD while working a full-time job and taking care of my family. It was inspiring to watch her balance everything and still excel in a very challenging doctorate program. Was everything perfect all the time? No. But she tried her best in every aspect of her life, and that's the important value she wanted me to understand. You don't have to be perfect, you just have to try your best, and eventually, that will translate into being one of the best.</p><p><em><strong>Read more</strong>: <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/isa-bootcamps-learn-tech-skills-pay-tuition-upfront-get-job-2020-11">6 bootcamps that cost little to nothing upfront, teach students crucial tech skills, and help them land roles at Google and Spotify</a></em></p><h2><strong>Getting into medical school does require a level of perfection and high performance. </strong></h2><p>It's stressful, and questionable if that's the best approach, but when someone like a doctor has your life in their hands, you would hope that they have the mindset of trying to be their very best every day. You would hope that in the light of adversity, they would have the grit and resilience to problem-solve, and do everything they can to keep you alive and well. </p><p>These are just a few of the skills and lessons my parents wanted me to learn, and I really didn't understand it as a child. I thought they were being unnecessarily hard and putting a lot of pressure on me. Sometimes, I still feel that way. But I know, at the end of the day, it's so I can go out into a world that cares nothing about my feelings and excel no matter what. </p><h2><strong>Parents shouldn't feel bad about pushing their kids to do their best and teaching them to value education, hard work, and excellence. </strong></h2><p>It's these attributes that will help children become extraordinary and pursue the seemingly impossible. You don't have to have a PhD or even a Bachelor's or high school diploma to show your kids what's important. Just instill in them good values, a solid work ethic, and let them know the world is theirs for the taking, and they will excel in anything they put their minds to.     </p>

I'm a 24-year-old medical student. Here's what my parents did right to help me successfully pursue my education.

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Darian Dozier is an osteopathic med student and creator of the blog <a href="https://melanatedandmeducated.com/">Melanated and Meducated.</a></li><li>During her first year of med school, Dozier says she often felt nervous speaking up and asking for help.</li><li>But over time, she learned to proactively seek help from her professors and collaborate more with fellow students.</li></ul><p>In May, I completed my <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/what-parents-did-right-to-help-get-into-med-school-2021-1">first year of medical school</a> as an osteopathic medical student. The year was long and difficult, but I survived - and I'm much smarter, more confident, and curious than when I started. </p><p>For other aspiring or fellow current <keyword id="46544" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="Medical-students">medical students</keyword> who are anxious about the highs and lows of med school, here are eight lessons I learned during my first year of <keyword id="259506" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="60" keywordseo="Medical-School">medical school</keyword> and what I wish I'd known earlier.</p><h2>1. Raise your hand</h2><p>It's easy to feel intimidated and apprehensive about raising your hand and speaking up. But what bothered me more than potential embarrassment was not raising my hand when I knew the answer, and someone else getting the answer right. </p><p>I hated that fear kept me from showing how hard I was working, so I started raising my hand more and taking chances. If I was wrong, the worst that would happen is I'd be corrected and learn from my mistake. And when I was right, it gave me a chance to stand out and validate my own work ethic.  </p><h2>2. Go see your professors</h2><p>Building up the courage to have a one-on-one can be nerve-racking, but going to see my professors helped me out of many tough situations. I went to their office hours to ask questions on confusing topics, and built good relationships with many of them. Most professors are eager to help and be a resource to their students, and getting to know them is one of the most underrated approaches to doing well.  </p><h2>3. Lean on your classmates </h2><p>I've heard horror stories at other schools where the competition is so high, students sabotage one another. I was so nervous about this that for the first three months of school I kept a safe distance from my classmates. I didn't ask for help or participate in group notes. </p><p>But the curriculum was brutal and I missed social interaction, so I started working with my classmates on notes and asking them for help. This allowed us to lean on each other's strengths and learn together, and was a great way to bond and form friendships. </p><h2>4. Be prepared</h2><div type="image" title="Darian Dozier" height="960" width="1280" msid="84071598" hostid="261"></div><p>Time is money in medical school, and being unprepared means wasted time. If I waited until class time to view the material for the first time, or showed up to meetings without having notes prepared, I felt scrambled and rushed. </p><p>On the other hand, I always did my best during the weeks where I did the pre-reading, reviewed my notes from the previous weeks, and stayed alert in class, so I was able to ask questions and really engage.  When I showed up to meetings ready to go, I was more productive and able to accomplish what I needed to. </p><h2>5. Stay in your own lane </h2><p>When you're in a space where it seems like everyone is miles ahead of you, it can be hard to not get caught up in the comparison trap. My sorority sister told me, "Don't get caught up comparing yourself to others who might be cheating." </p><p>I liked what she said, not because I thought my classmates were cheating, but because it reminded me that I had no idea what was going on in other people's lanes. I only needed to stay in my own and focus on what was going to benefit me. </p><h2>6. Be flexible</h2><p>Medical students are the most high-strung individuals I've ever met - myself included. Getting into medical school is so demanding and meticulous that it can be hard to just let that go. But you should: You may fail an exam or get rejected, and it's OK. Be flexible enough to handle the good, the bad, and the inconvenient.</p><h2>7. Just say no</h2><p>There are so many opportunities in medical school between the many organizations, research projects, and volunteer opportunities, that saying no was a real challenge. I like to be a part of everything, and hearing, "This could look good on your CV," was a real selling point. However, being OK at many things isn't as impactful as being great at a few things.  Whatever you decide to do, make sure it's worth your while. </p><h2>8. Don't forget to live</h2><p>My instagram bio is, "A med student living my best life" because being in medical school doesn't mean my life is over. I still have fun, go out with friends, and travel. I make time for my relationship, friends, family, and writing. Find a balance that works for you, and do your best to enjoy every day.</p>

8 things I wish I knew before my first year of medical school

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Darian Dozier is an osteopathic medical student and creator of the <keyword id="259506" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="60" keywordseo="Medical-School">medical school</keyword> admissions blog <a href="https://melanatedandmeducated.com/">Melanated and Meducated.</a></li><li>She says medical schools can do more to attract diverse students interested in practicing primary care.</li><li>Recruiting students from rural areas and offering loan repayment options can help lower the barrier to entry. </li></ul><p>One of the most common mission statements I noticed on my path to medical school was many schools' determination to produce more primary care physicians (<keyword id="10747423" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="pcps">PCPs</keyword>). PCPs are doctors that you see for checkups and are usually the first stop if you need a recommendation for a specialist. PCPs are integral to the <keyword id="6354525" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="healthcare">healthcare</keyword> system, but there is a shortage due to low compensation, their hectic lifestyle, and mountains of paperwork. </p><div type="image" title="Darian Dozier" height="2073" width="2764" msid="80869352" hostid="261"></div><p>PCPs get a bad reputation next to some of the higher grossing and better lifestyle specialties like radiology, ophthalmology, anesthesiology, and dermatology. But, without PCPs, millions of patients would be left without a healthcare provider, subjecting them to poor health maintenance and missed diagnoses. </p><p>In order for the number of PCPs to increase, medical schools can take some steps to help increase the number of students interested in primary care and put them in a better position to be successful on their journey. </p><h2><strong>1. Be mindful of costs</strong></h2><p>Medical school is expensive. Most state schools try to mitigate these costs by giving large discounts to in-state students, but out-of-state and private medical schools still come with a hefty price tag. </p><p>My school's main goal is to produce PCPs to service rural areas, yet the tuition is $55,000, excluding living expenses. Debt and loan repayment are constantly on my mind and add to my daily stress levels as an aspiring doctor. It can be difficult to convince students to pay a lot of money in tuition, then encourage them to enter a field where the average salary might be $130,000, which less than other types of doctors can make.</p><p>If schools really want to push their students into primary care, then tuition and fees should be manageable so students can begin their careers in a manageable financial position.</p><h2><strong>2. Offer scholarships or loan repayment options </strong></h2><p>There are many national incentives to increase the number of loan repayments. like the National Health Service Corps and state-led programs. Medical schools can also join this initiative and provide scholarships or loan repayment options for those who decide to go into primary care. This will incentivize students to really consider the field without money being a deterrent. </p><p><em><strong>Read more</strong>: <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/professors-administrators-predict-future-medical-school-post-pandemic-2020-6">Professors and administrators predict what the future of med school might look like post-pandemic - and argue that virtual learning is here to stay</a></em></p><h2><strong>3. Recruit students from rural areas </strong></h2><p>PCP shortage is most notable in rural areas. These are places where the population to physician ratio is at least <a href="https://www.kff.org/other/state-indicator/primary-care-health-professional-shortage-areas-hpsas/?currentTimeframe=0&amp;sortModel=%7B%22colId%22:%22Location%22,%22sort%22:%22asc%22%7D2%7D">3,500 to 1</a>, often small towns or disadvantaged communities that may disinterest physicians for many reasons. If medical schools can make a conscious effort to recruit students from those areas, they may have better luck at training physicians who are comfortable and actually desire to practice in these areas, perhaps returning to their hometowns.</p><h2><strong>4. Add cultural competency and diversity to mission statements and curriculum </strong></h2><p>PCPs work with a myriad of patients from different backgrounds. It's really important that these physicians be culturally competent and diverse. Lack of diversity in the medical field is an <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/biases-you-didnt-know-existed-in-the-medical-industry-2020-4">ongoing problem</a>, but schools can combat this by being intentional about adding diversity and cultural competency to their curriculum and school environment.</p><p>This will attract  students from diverse backgrounds, and will help schools produce a diverse graduating class who performs better in primary care settings. Higher ratings in primary care will help schools attract students genuinely interested in practicing as a PCP. </p><h2><strong>5. Launch more community outreach and research initiatives in primary care </strong></h2><p>Misconceptions about primary care based on stereotypes and misrepresentations may be one of the most impactful deterrents for <keyword id="46544" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="Medical-students">medical students</keyword>. If schools offer more community outreach experiences, students can gain exposure to this area to help generate interest.</p><p>Also, graduating with research experience is very important, so by offering research in primary care, students can research something they're passionate about, while also strengthening their CV. </p><h2><strong>6. Widen admissions criteria </strong></h2><p>Medical school is quite selective, which automatically weeds out some potentially good candidates who were just lacking the resources to achieve high standardized test scores and grades. Some of these candidates instead may boast years of experience, have had major impacts on their communities, etc.</p><p>Medical schools should open the door for students from disadvantaged backgrounds or those who show a passion for community health, but may not have perfect grades and scores. More holistic approaches that focus on intentions, rather than academic achievements exclusively, will help schools find these students.   </p><h2><strong>7. Offer pipeline and prep courses </strong></h2><p>Pipeline programs that offer matriculation into medical school after completing prerequisite classes are also another way that schools can reach disadvantaged students who would make great PCPs. Standardized testing and grades can be the biggest financial and academic hurdle for these students. But if medical schools can help prepare these students, then those barriers are no longer a problem. </p><p>If students show the potential to be great PCPs, yet are weak in an area of their application, these programs could help bolster those areas and give these students an opportunity to excel in med school. </p><p><em><strong>Read more</strong>: <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/how-consumer-health-app-founder-patientory-raised-funding-rejected-500-vcs">The founder of a consumer health app pitched to 500 VCs with no luck before she raised $7.2 million in funding. 4 strategies helped her turn the tide.</a></em></p><h2><strong>8. Collaborate with secondary and higher <keyword id="6355445" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="education">education</keyword> institutions to provide better resources for students </strong></h2><p>In addition to bridge programs, medical schools can also work with local high schools and undergraduate universities to better equip faculty and staff to direct students towards a successful medical school application. High school counselors and premed advisors can be very useful to students, especially those from underprivileged backgrounds.</p><p>If med schools can collaborate with these institutions, then their staff will know how to guide students interested in medicine. </p><h2><strong>9. Provide financial counseling</strong></h2><p>Many students come out of undergrad with <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/personal-finance/average-student-loan-debt">educational loans</a>. These loans may be the sole reason that those interested in medicine either don't pursue it, or if they do they don't pursue primary care.</p><p>If schools provide financial counseling of repayment options and budgeting, potential students may feel more confident in their ability to avoid drowning in debt. Also, having PCPs speak about their own financial situation can help students have a better idea of their ability to pay off student loans. </p><h2><strong>10. Host career days for exposure to primary care   </strong></h2><p>Career days may be the best way for students to get an idea of what PCPs do and excite them for a future career. Medical schools could host them at high schools or colleges for an immersive experience. This exposure could benefit students and greatly increase their interest in primary care from an earlier age. This way, they can be inspired through hands-on interaction and begin to picture themselves in this career one day. </p>

A med student shares 10 ways schools can better attract diverse students to study primary care

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Darian Dozier is an osteopathic medical student who lives in Houston, Texas and runs the blog <a href="https://melanatedandmeducated.com/">Melanated and Meducated</a>, a medical school advice and wellness hub.</li><li>After graduating <keyword id="6360288" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="College">college</keyword> in Oklahoma and unexpectedly losing her job, Dozier decided to move back in with her <keyword id="6359162" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="parents">parents</keyword> while she prepared for <keyword id="232518" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="60" keywordseo="Grad-School">grad school</keyword>.</li><li>Moving home came with growing pains, she says — from not being able to go out late with friends to having to keep her music down and gatherings to a minimum.</li><li>Still, moving back home was a great decision: It allowed her to save on rent and expenses and gave her a chance to spend more quality time with her family. </li></ul><p>When I graduated college with a BS in psychology, I knew I wanted to go to medical school. I just had to take a couple of years off, work, and then go back to school. For the first year, I did exactly that, while living with a couple of other girls, and had a blast. But then in 2019, my job unexpectedly closed, and we were all laid off. I still had a year before grad school, and my lease was almost up. I talked with my mom about it, and moving back home made the most sense. </p><h2><strong>If you have the option to move back home, it can be a wise choice</strong></h2><p>The thing about being in your early 20s, balancing a job search and trying to continue your education, is that your life is constant chaos. </p><p>If you get a degree in the humanities, like I did, or you want a job where you can help people, then you may not have a plethora of $60,000 <keyword id="11018" type="COMPANY" weightage="60" keywordseo="Jobs">jobs</keyword> lined up either. You're almost in a state of limbo, waiting for someone to send you that "You're accepted!" or "You're hired!" email. That was me, for a whole year. </p><p>To prepare for my acceptance and transition into medical school, the best choice was for me at that time was to move back home. Moving home had plenty of pros: no rent, no lease, free food, constant family time, and in my case, my own "apartment," i.e. the basement.</p><p><em><strong>Read more</strong>: <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/great-recession-graduates-how-to-land-job-downturn-2020-4">3 Great Recession grads who have earned 6 figures while working for Netflix and Bank of America share the steps they took to land a job during a downturn</a></em></p><h2><strong>I hadn't lived with my family for about five years, so moving back home came with some growing pains</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="Darian Dozier" height="750" width="1000" msid="79118699" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>As great of a tool as <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/best-doorbell">the Ring Video Doorbell</a> may be for safety, it is the arch nemesis of young adults coming home from a night out partying. Considering I knew my life would change once I entered med school, I was trying to live my best life until then. That meant wineries with my girls by day, and hitting the bars of Westport in Kansas City by night. </p><p>When I lived by myself, coming home whenever was just something I did. Normally my friends and I went to a bar or party, grabbed some food on the way home, and ate it in our beds until we fell asleep. </p><p>When I moved in with my parents, I was still trying to live my same life, but my parents had different rules. They worried about me when I was out late, and I normally disturbed them if I came back in the early hours of the morning. It took a few conversations here and there for me to develop a new awareness of what time I should make it back home. </p><p>Also, hosting the pregame for a night out was definitely out the window. When I had an apartment in college, it was the designated pre-outing venue to get ready, listen to loud music, and get warmed up for our festivities. Plus, I could wear whatever I wanted to on a night out, because I looked great and you don't keep a Bentley in the garage (if you catch my drift).  </p><p>The opposite couldn't be more true being an adult kid in my parent's basement. If my music got too loud, I would quickly get a text saying to turn it down. If my friends came over, they were on their best behavior. I also had to keep in mind "Can I walk out the house looking like this without raised eyebrows?" If the answer was anything other than yes or maybe, I was changing, regardless of how cute my outfit was.</p><p>Going from being a young adult with free reign, coming and going as I pleased, to being a "free" young adult having to abide by my parents' rules took some adjustment. There were some bumps in the road as my family and I got used to each other again. </p><h2><strong>Despite the shaky transition, moving home was the best decision I could have made</strong></h2><div type="image" title="Darian Dozier" height="2582" width="3443" msid="79118701" hostid="261"></div><p>I truly am blessed to have had the opportunity to move back home. Not everyone has that option, and if they do, they may not have had the luxuries I did. </p><p>I may have complained about not being able to live life the way I was used to to, but my parents made things pretty comfortable for me. I didn't have to worry about anything, and they gave me a place to figure my life out without worrying about my next meal, or paying bills. </p><p>Plus, nothing beats family time. Not only did I move back in with my family, but I got quarantined with them as well. Talk about too much togetherness. </p><p>We found ways to mix up how we all hung out, from  the Jeopardy games we played, to shows we watched, video games we tried out, and food we enjoyed. We may butt heads because we share a lot of the same qualities, but for the most part, we love being around each other. Even when we're mad at one another, we still find ways to come back together and smooth things over.</p><p><em><strong>Read more</strong>: <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-decide-go-apply-graduate-school-now-pros-cons-2020-6">How to decide if now's a good time to go to grad school — and the pros and cons of applying during the pandemic</a></em></p><h2><strong>Moving back home with your parents isn't easy and comes with its fair share of complications</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="Darian Dozier" height="1152" width="1536" msid="79118705" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>But for me, it wasn't bad at all. Did I have to make some major adjustments? Sure. But being in school now, and not having that same sense of togetherness, is actually something I miss. I'm very thankful to my mom and dad for their openness and generosity in letting me move back home during this time.</p><p>A good majority of my friends live with their parents, and we all have the same complaints. It can be weird and frustrating going from doing your own thing to having to abide by someone else's rules or ways. But we can all agree on one thing: The fullness from spending time with your loved ones is unmatched. Not only that, but being able to work and save money helps prepare you for when you're finally ready to move out.</p><p>Anything that helps you get a leg up in this expensive, scary adult world is worth it. </p>

Shacking up with my parents: Why I decided to move back home after college, and my advice for young adults considering the same

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Darian Dozier is an osteopathic medical student and creator of the med school admissions blog <a href="https://melanatedandmeducated.com/">Melanated and Meducated.</a></li><li>She spoke with five women <keyword id="25205" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="doctors">doctors</keyword> to ask their best <keyword id="34454" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="60" keywordseo="leadership">leadership</keyword> and career <keyword id="70503" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="advice">advice</keyword>.</li><li>Knowing when to be assertive is one the most important skills they discussed.</li></ul><p>When I was in elementary school, all of my grade cards came back with great scores and really positive comments. However, there always was the one little comment "She's too bossy and overly talkative."</p><div type="image" title="Darian Dozier" height="2073" width="2764" msid="80900983" hostid="261"></div><p>I had a big personality and used that to my advantage from a young age. Interestingly enough, as I transitioned into high school, my grade cards began to read "She's a great leader and has great class participation." </p><p>I wondered if my "bossiness" and excessive talking had become more direct and efficient, or if I was just perceived differently by elementary school teachers versus high school teachers. I'll never know, but one thing I do know is the detrimental effects that the word "bossy" can have on a young girl. </p><p>It's discouraging to young ladies and makes them feel as if they cannot be assertive. How can girls aspire to be politicians, lawyers, and judges if we shoot down their leadership traits from the very beginning? Several women leaders in medicine spoke with me about their "bossy" experiences, and how they've learned to use this trait successfully throughout their <keyword id="6354910" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="careers">careers</keyword>.</p><h2>1. Assertive women may have to make adjustments to earn respect</h2><p>"I had to learn how to lower the tone of my voice and smile more to not come off as controlling," said <a href="http://www.shsuphysicians.com/staff/sharon-gustowski.html">Dr. Sharon Gustowski</a>. </p><div type="image" title="Dr. Sharon Gustowski " height="801" width="1067" msid="80900984" hostid="261"></div><p>Gustowski is an osteopathic doctor based in Houston, Texas who is certified in neuromusculoskeletal and osteopathic manipulative medicine.</p><p>As a young child, she was independent and assertive, which helped her to gain the respect and trust of her elders who felt comfortable leaning on her for more responsibilities. As doctor however, she felt this trait and the way she carried herself alienated her peers, because it seemed she came off as snobby and unfriendly.</p><p>To offset these perceptions, she made adjustments to her tone and mannerisms so she was more inviting. Constantly being aware of your delivery can be exhausting, but she said it felt like she had to do it to earn respect and not be ostracized. </p><p>As a current medical student, Gustowski's account helped me understand that assertive women may have to adjust facial expressions, hand movements, volume, and tone to be heard in male certain dominated atmospheres. Without these adjustments, their colleagues may get caught up in the delivery and not the message which hinders progress, which could create strain and frustration.   </p><h2>2. Becoming a leader comes with growing pains</h2><p>The road to becoming a good leader isn't straight and easy. In fact, becoming a leader will probably include quite a few setbacks before successes. <a href="http://www.shsuphysicians.com/staff/candace-walkley.html">Dr. Candace Walkley</a>, an internal medicine physician based in Conroe, Texas, has experienced being "<keyword id="22939" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="boss">boss</keyword>ier than her boss."</p><div type="image" title="Dr. Candace Walkley" height="255" width="341" msid="80900985" hostid="261"></div>Her assertive personality is either perceived as go getter or too assertive. Being a go-getter creates great work relationships, but being "too assertive" can create tension which can interfere with communication and expectations. <p>Walkley refers to her assertiveness as "the sword with two sides." These experiences have helped her shape her leadership skills to better assess and control herself in interactions, but not without a few bumps in the road with coworkers and colleagues.</p><p><em><strong>Read more</strong>: <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/pwc-promoting-allyship-workplace-toolkit-2020-12">PwC's chief inclusion officer shares how the company developed a new toolkit to promote allyship in the workplace</a></em></p><h2>3. Great leaders are great listeners </h2><p>A leader is nothing without a team behind them. The best way to gain a team's trust and get them to work hard is to listen more than one speaks. This is especially important when working in the medical field because of all the different teams and personnel that could be working one case. Without hearing what they have to say, a leader won't be very successful. </p><p><a href="https://health.usnews.com/doctors/peggy-taylor-169211">Dr. Peggy Taylor</a> is an OBGYN who ran her own practice for years before eventually selling it to retire. She now teaches and picks up shifts when needed. </p><div type="image" title="Dr. Peggy Taylor" height="255" width="341" msid="80900986" hostid="261"></div><p>Although considered bossy by some when opening her own practice, she said she "never wanted to be seen as really my way or the highway. I took more of a teamwork approach: I know I'm the leader and I make the final decision, but I want their input." </p><p>Taylor says she put in the extra effort to make her employees feel respected and heard, and she listened to their suggestions and implemented them when they were appropriate.</p><h2>4. Assertiveness is necessary in serious situations</h2><p>As physicians, these women are not just responsible for day to day operations. They are responsible for human lives, which means, occasionally, that assertiveness is absolutely necessary. </p><p>"I try to only bring this trait out in its full glory when I'm supervising people or when a situation is clearly dangerously chaotic - where a leader must emerge for safety," said Walkley. </p><p>Taylor also put patients at the front of the helm when it came time to be the boss. She made decisions that her staff did not always like, but at the end of the day, they benefited the patients. </p><p>There are times to be laid back, but when serious decisions have to be made about someone's health, these bosses in medicine know how to get the job done. Gustowski learned to fully accept this duality of silliness and seriousness in the job, and when to switch back and forth. The ability to turn it on and off is powerful in a job where things can go from good to bad in the blink of an eye. </p><h2>5. Good leaders care and create lasting relationships </h2><p>The fun part about being a good leader is being able to create long-lasting relationships with employees. However, this only happens when employees feel like they matter and physicians care about them as people. </p><p>Women leaders in medicine may have an advantage because many are natural nurturers at home and in society, and bring that attribute to work.</p><p><a href="http://www.shsuphysicians.com/staff/mary-manis.html">Dr. Mary Manis</a>, a family medicine doctor in Conroe, Texas, made sure to keep up with her employees by asking them about their families and personal details they shared with her. This helped her develop relationships that lasted far beyond any work situation. </p><div type="image" title="Dr. Mary Manis " height="255" width="341" msid="80900988" hostid="261"></div><p>Taylor kept the same staff for over 20 years because she created such a family friendly environment.</p><p>As a mom, she understood the stressors of having children and allowed employees to bring their children to work when they were not able to go to school. Small acts like these help create fulfilling, long-lasting bonds between boss and employee.</p><p><em><strong>Read more</strong>: <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/how-wedding-planners-prepping-future-events-industry-social-distancing-2020-5">How 4 wedding planners are prepping for the future of the events industry, from getting ordained to rejiggering seating charts to negotiating vendor contracts</a><a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/how-wedding-planners-prepping-future-events-industry-social-distancing-2020-5"></a> </em></p><h2>6. More women leaders means more women mentors</h2><p>"I would've loved to have found a woman boss or mentor, but that never happened," said Manis. </p><p>While she did have a great relationship with a former male mentor and boss, Manis says it was disappointing to not find a woman boss to support her during her medical career. </p><p>As a medical student myself, I'm fortunate enough to have</p><p>Manis, among many other women, as my mentors. I hope that as more women enter medicine and learn the same lessons as the women in this article, they too can find and be a mentor to other women leaders in medicine. </p><h2>7. Leadership skills can emerge at any point in life</h2><p>Dr. Ouida Collins, a family medicine physician in Conroe, Texas, has been an introvert her entire life. Still, she says there were times early in her medical education journey when she had to be vocal and assertive. </p><div type="image" title="Dr. Ouida Collins" height="801" width="1067" msid="80900989" hostid="261"></div><p>"What made me stand up a little more is in a couple of classes, if you were a woman or didn't fit the characteristics of those in leadership positions, they kind of pushed you to the side," Collins said. "I was working on a project with another guy in the group and he told me 'you need to do this' and that and I said, 'no, I don't.' That's not how this works. That was the beginning of the pushback." </p><p>Women in medicine often deal with being silenced or pushed aside in such a male-dominated arena. Patients may think they are the nurse and some male counterparts don't respect them the same way as male physicians. But, no matter how old you are or your personality type, when it's time to speak up for what's right, you have to. </p><p>At the end of the day, Collins always had her paperwork in order and did her job, which gave her the confidence to assert herself regardless how others reacted to her firmness. She too has learned to tailor her leadership skills and always falls back on doing what's right for her and her patients. </p><p><em>Disclaimer: These views and opinions are of the individual physicians and the writer and in no way representative of their employers.</em></p>

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