<ul class="summary-list"><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-planner-answers-questions-couples-should-ask-photos-tips-2022-4">I'm a wedding planner</a> who's seen couples make some common <keyword id="12010127" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="mistakes" source="Orion">mistakes</keyword> ahead of their big day.</li><li>Set your RSVP deadline a week before you need a headcount to avoid a last-minute scramble. </li></ul><p>As a <keyword id="11921879" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding-planner" source="Orion">wedding planner</keyword> who's organized over 50 ceremonies, I know that every choice you make for your big day <a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-planning-mistakes-couples-make-according-to-photographer-2021-6">can feel like a mistake</a>. Everybody has an opinion, and sometimes, nobody is happy. </p><p>So here are 10 actual mistakes I see couples often make, plus my advice on how to avoid them.</p><h2><strong>If you set the RSVP date too late, you may feel added pressure</strong></h2><p>You're always going to have to <a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-planner-shares-things-guests-should-never-do-2022-2">track down late RSVPs</a>, so save yourself a last-minute scramble and set the due date at least one week before you actually need the final headcount.</p><p>You'll likely need to get that number to your caterer or venue about two weeks before your <keyword id="11896825" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding" source="Orion">wedding</keyword>, so that extra time will give you a much-needed buffer.</p><h2><strong>Make sure to eat on your big day</strong></h2><p><strong></strong></p><div type="image" title="Bride in white dress serving herself some food at her wedding" height="3400" width="4534" msid="92167468" hostid="261"></div><p>Caught up in the whirl of their wedding day, many couples forget to feed themselves.</p><p>So task <a href="https://www.insider.com/worst-wedding-party-mistakes-to-avoid-according-to-professional-bridesmaid-2021-9">a wedding VIP</a> with the goal of bringing you a meal, ideally before you finish getting ready. </p><h2><strong>Don't forget to thank your vendors </strong></h2><p>Whether it's a generous tip, kind word at the end of the party, or glowing online review — please thank your vendors.</p><p>Wedding vendors work long hours sometimes for low pay because they want to serve couples. Many of us live for your thank yous.</p><h2><strong>You may regret drinking too much the day before</strong></h2><p>Although wedding planning can drive many people to drink, avoid overdoing it in the days before the wedding.</p><p>Your body — and <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-get-best-wedding-pictures-according-to-wedding-photographer-2021-9">your wedding photos</a> — will thank you.</p><h2><strong>Don't blow your budget by booking a venue first</strong></h2><p><strong></strong></p><div type="image" title="a wedding venue banquet hall with white chairs and tables set up" height="3266" width="4354" msid="92167469" hostid="261"></div><p>Couples often rush into <a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-planner-shares-what-to-ask-when-choosing-venue-2022-3">booking a venue</a> only to realize they've just spent their entire budget, so it's crucial to know what you both want to prioritize. </p><p>Talk to your partner about why you two are getting married in the first place, and <a href="https://www.elisabethkramer.com/unwed/planning-wedding-engaged-priorities-worksheet">use these answers</a> to develop the mission statement of your wedding. Only then should you start putting down deposits. </p><h2><strong>Get your marriage license in advance</strong></h2><p>Even though starting a legal marriage is technically the reason everyone is gathered, many couples forget to apply for a license. </p><p>Get this date on your calendar early and keep an eye out for any pre-wedding waiting periods required by the location you're getting married. </p><h2><strong>There's no need to beat yourself up over requesting things that matter to you</strong></h2><p>Especially over the course of the pandemic, many couples feel guilty or shameful about setting boundaries that matter to them, such as <a href="https://www.insider.com/making-wedding-guests-send-proof-of-covid-test-vaccine-advice-2021-11">requiring all in-person guests and vendors to be vaccinated</a>.</p><p>Setting boundaries can be emotionally complicated, but I encourage you and your partner to remember that you are the hosts of this event, so you get to make the rules. </p><h2><strong>Couples often rush through the ceremony</strong></h2><p><strong></strong></p><div type="image" title="couple getting married in venue with orange-y wood finishes" height="5773" width="7697" msid="92167472" hostid="261"></div><p>Many couples tell me they only want a 10-minute ceremony, which is such a shame since that's what makes your wedding <a href="https://www.insider.com/best-ideas-to-make-your-wedding-unique-from-wedding-planner-2021-7">more than just an overpriced party</a>.</p><p>Instead of bypassing it, focus on how you two want to feel as you start your marriage and the ways you can reflect that in your ceremony. You'll be surprised by how little time that adds to the whole day.</p><h2><strong>The people who financially support your wedding will likely want a say</strong></h2><p>Be thoughtful of who's on "the board" — the people who financially contribute to the event — of your wedding.</p><p>There's no shame in accepting money as long as you and your partner recognize that person gets a vote. If that mindset doesn't work for you, revisit your mission statement and determine how you can <a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-planners-reveal-tips-for-saving-money-2020-2">accomplish that goal with less money</a>. </p><h2><strong>Don't start your marriage on autopilot</strong></h2><p>Planning a wedding can quickly become overwhelming, and many people will shut down.</p><p>If you feel this happening, take a break. The last thing you want is to be a zombie as you <a href="https://www.insider.com/important-lessons-for-couples-before-wedding-2021-7">start your marriage</a>.</p>

I'm a wedding planner. Here are 10 common mistakes I see couples make.

<ul class="summary-list"><li>I'm a <keyword id="11921879" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding-planner" source="Orion">wedding planner</keyword>, and there are things to consider and be aware of when choosing a venue.</li><li>Make sure you know what you are buying along with the space and when your payments are due.</li></ul><p>Booking a venue is often the first major choice a couple makes when planning a <keyword id="11896825" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding" source="Orion">wedding</keyword>.</p><p>As <a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-planner-shares-things-guests-should-never-do-2022-2">a wedding planner who's organized over 50 marriage ceremonies</a>, here's what I think couples should consider when deciding where to tie the knot, plus some red flags to be aware of:</p><h2><strong>A venue should be respectful of your <keyword id="11993342" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="love" source="Orion">love</keyword> and identities </strong></h2><p>Unfortunately, many venues continue to make couples feel actively unsafe and unseen.</p><p>For example, a venue may offer a "bridal" room to get ready in, even though many couples don't include someone who identifies as a bride or the space's gendered decor. Or maybe the coordinator will only make eye contact with and direct questions to one person.</p><p>You know this, but it bears repeating: Your love deserves better.</p><p>It's up to you if you want to tell the place why you took your thousands of dollars elsewhere, but regardless, be wary of homophobia, racism, and sexism as you research venues.</p><h2><strong>You should know what you are actually paying for when booking a space</strong></h2><p><strong></strong></p><div type="image" title="Wedding venue with lots of white chairs around tables with flowers" height="2640" width="3520" msid="89956077" hostid="261"></div><p>Many couples embark on planning a wedding only to <a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-planners-reveal-tips-for-saving-money-2020-2">blow their whole budget</a> on a venue. So before you schedule any tours, get right with your finances.</p><p>Be clear on what you actually want to buy for your wedding and don't tempt yourself with options that simply won't work, even if they're beautiful. Then, when you start touring venues, be clear about what you're actually paying for.</p><p>Is this a venue that provides tables and chairs or are you responsible for renting those items yourself? What about tablecloths, napkins, and A/V equipment? Will this place need a dance floor? How about a tent? </p><p>Consider all of these costs when making your decision.</p><h2><strong>Make sure you're clear about how much money you owe and when it's due</strong></h2><p>With a venue contract, the main thing I look for is how much is due and when. This is extremely <a href="https://www.insider.com/making-wedding-guests-send-proof-of-covid-test-vaccine-advice-2021-11">important in the era of COVID-19</a> since it's much easier to get money back that you never paid.</p><p>The vast majority of venues will require a deposit, then the rest of the money won't be due until much closer to the wedding — usually no sooner than 60 days before the event, but I've seen as early as 120 days or, in one notable experience, six months.</p><p>Know that what you owe and when it's due will change if the venue is also providing any food or beverage service. Usually, <a href="https://www.elisabethkramer.com/unwed/questions-wedding-venue-walkthrough">that bit of the bill</a> is due even closer to the wedding — often two weeks — as well as after the event, if you're paying for an open bar. </p><h2><strong>It's worth checking the COVID-19 clause in case you need to reschedule or cancel</strong></h2><p>Increasingly, the answer to, "What if COVID-19 upsets our wedding plans?" is going to be, "You knew what you were getting into, so we are no longer waiving rescheduling fees, and any money you've paid us is nonrefundable."<strong> </strong></p><p>There will be exceptions to this rule — like if government guidance literally makes it illegal to host your event — but even then, check your contract to see if there's anything specific to COVID-19 that you need to know. </p><p>If you're confused about the wording of the venue's policy in the contract, ask for clarification. Quality vendors have quality answers.</p><p>Please keep in mind that this (potentially upsetting) response is not because your venue and wedding vendors are mean — it's because they're just people.</p><h2><strong>Some establishments will require event insurance</strong></h2><p><strong></strong></p><div type="image" title="Drinks at a table with pitchers at wedding venue" height="2948" width="3942" msid="89956079" hostid="261"></div><p>This isn't a red flag, but many venues require that a couple buy what's known as event insurance, as well as additional <a href="https://www.insider.com/best-and-worst-cocktails-to-order-at-bar-2021-8">alcohol-specific</a> liability insurance.</p><p>This is a separate purchase from insurance to cover if you reschedule or cancel the wedding.</p><p>A <a href="https://www.elisabethkramer.com/unwed/event-wedding-insurance-faq-why">venue that requires event insurance</a> will likely include specific details in the contract, like how much you need to insure for and who needs to be on the policy.</p><p>You can expect to pay between $100 and $175 for the policy itself.</p><h2><strong>A venue should not put unneeded pressure on you to book</strong></h2><p>If you've been researching <a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-planner-shares-trends-that-will-be-popular-and-unpopular-2022">2022 wedding planning</a> for more than five minutes, you've probably hit a headline about the wedding boom and are wondering if it's true.</p><p>A lot of people are booking <keyword id="11895717" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="weddings" source="Orion">weddings</keyword>, but that <a href="https://saradoesseo.com/wedding-marketing/wedding-industry/">doesn't mean all vendors are swamped</a>. Even though competition might be higher in 2022, it's not so much that you need to rush into choices that don't serve your goals.</p><p>So be wary of venues that make you feel like you're doomed if you don't book immediately. They're likely not lying about the demand, but that probably isn't the kind of vibe you want to deal with for the rest of your wedding-planning experience.</p><h2><strong>You need to know where the trash, recycling, and compost is going ahead of time</strong></h2><p>Don't be surprised if a venue has very particular <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-go-zero-waste-2018-2">rules on waste</a>.</p><p>Some may request that you take all of the glass and cardboard with you when you leave or only use certain trash cans.</p><p>This doesn't have to be a deal breaker, but it is information that you, your partner, and anyone who is providing food must know.<strong> </strong></p><h2><strong>Be aware of when you can enter and when you need to exit the event space</strong></h2><p><strong></strong></p><div type="image" title="Wedding" height="2654" width="3539" msid="89956081" hostid="261"></div><p>Know when you can get access to the venue — usually a block of hours on the wedding day — and when you need to be out by. You should end the party an hour before then so there's time to clean up.</p><p>Some venues also require that music be lowered or completely turned off at a certain time, which can <a href="https://www.insider.com/what-to-know-before-you-do-popular-wedding-trends-advice-2021-8">kill the mood for some couples</a>. <strong> </strong></p><p>Other venues may have specific rules on when you can host a rehearsal in the space that may not align with what you and your partner have in mind.</p><p>One place I know requires that all rehearsals happen on Thursdays, which often doesn't work for couples who have a fair number of guests traveling into town for a weekend wedding.  </p><h2><strong>Make sure you understand who the venue coordinator is and their role</strong></h2><p>Nearly all places have a venue coordinator, who is your point of contact and may be on-site during your wedding. This is not the same as a wedding coordinator.</p><p>A venue coordinator is responsible for things related to the space, like turning on the lights, monitoring the temperature, and locking up at the end of the night. They are not in charge of setting up decorations, checking in with vendors, and <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-handle-wedding-emergencies-2019-2">making sure you stay on time</a>.</p><p>You and your partner should be clear about who's on your vendor team and who's doing what.</p>

I'm a wedding planner. Here are 9 things to consider when booking a venue.

<ul class="summary-list"><li>My partner and I got married in Mount Hood National <keyword id="6371230" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="forest" source="Orion">Forest</keyword> with just five of our friends.</li><li>We walked each other down the aisle and really felt like we were entering this marriage together. </li><li>I didn't select the bridesmaid dresses and instead gave my friends a color palette to follow.</li></ul><p>Neither my partner nor I consider ourselves very traditional people, so we knew we wanted <a href="https://www.insider.com/important-lessons-for-couples-before-wedding-2021-7">our wedding day</a> to reflect that.</p><p>I also aimed to keep our ceremony as low-key and low-cost as possible while still achieving <a href="https://www.insider.com/best-ideas-to-make-your-wedding-unique-from-wedding-planner-2021-7">a beautiful and special day</a>, so I got married in Mount Hood National Forest with just my closest friends.</p><p>Here are 10 of the best unconventional things I did for my <keyword id="11896825" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding" source="Orion">wedding</keyword>:</p><h2><strong>We walked each other down the aisle</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="Two people, one in a black suit and one in a white wedding dress, walking through the forest together" height="1600" width="1068" msid="86730593" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>We kept our ceremony very small - five guests and no family - so we knew we wouldn't walk down the aisle with our parents.</p><p>We had originally thought each of us would walk down the aisle alone, but moments before the ceremony began, my partner and I decided to do it together.</p><p>It ended up being one of my favorite parts of the day and really symbolized that we were <a href="https://www.insider.com/things-every-married-couple-should-do-accordingt-to-therapist-2021-6">entering this marriage together</a>. </p><h2><strong>Omitting the first look meant we could get ready together</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="A person in a wedding dressing pinning something onto a person in a black suit" height="1600" width="1068" msid="86730597" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>Many couples make a moment of the first look - or the first time they see each other on their wedding day - but we <a href="https://www.insider.com/what-to-know-before-you-do-popular-wedding-trends-advice-2021-8">opted out of that tradition</a>. </p><p>We booked <a href="https://www.madelinerosephoto.com/">our photographer</a> for only a few hours to save money, so we wanted to make the most of our time with them.</p><p>Plus we wanted to get ready and enjoy the morning together without having to hide from each other.</p><h2><strong>We had no venue costs since our ceremony was on state-owned land</strong></h2><p>We wanted to exchange vows in nature, so Mount Hood National Forest was the perfect backdrop, but the fact that it was free truly sealed the deal.</p><p>We had our ceremony <a href="https://www.insider.com/hikes-around-the-world-2019-3">on a trail</a> on a cool Thursday morning to avoid foot traffic and it worked out perfectly. The few hikers we did see congratulated us, and we were able to easily move aside with our small group.</p><p>If you want to do the same, research permit and fee requirements for different locations because they vary by the type of land and state. </p><h2>We didn't have any altar decor</h2><div type="image" title="A wedding party and guests at a forest ceremony" height="1066" width="1422" msid="86730600" hostid="261"></div><p>Since we were <a href="https://www.insider.com/best-fall-hikes-in-the-us-2018-10">on a public trail</a>, we didn't want to bring altar decor of any kind with us.</p><p>Although I was worried it would look a little too plain, it turned out so striking. The forest is lush and beautiful on its own, and we really let that shine by not having added decor. </p><h2>I didn't pay for makeup or hair services</h2><p>I opted to do my own makeup and hair because I wanted to feel like myself on the big day. I've never been one to wear a lot of makeup and my hair pretty much always looks the same.</p><p>I was a little nervous about the photos, so I hired <a href="https://www.insider.com/makeup-trends-makeup-artists-hate-2018-5">a makeup artist</a> to do a one-hour consultation with me a couple of months prior. This helped me learn new techniques and feel more confident executing my look the day of. </p><h2>Instead of selecting bridesmaid dresses, I gave my friends a color palette to follow</h2><div type="image" title="A person in a wedding dress holding a bouquet surrounded by bridesmaids wearing fall tones, in a forest" height="1066" width="1422" msid="86730603" hostid="261"></div><p>I knew my friends would be in a lot of photos, so I decided to give them a color palette instead of choosing traditional matching <a href="https://www.insider.com/woman-sent-bridesmaids-google-form-to-organize-wedding-2021-7">bridesmaid dresses</a>.</p><p>I really like how it turned out - their mismatched dresses created an interesting and unique look. </p><h2>We incorporated film photography and Polaroids into our day</h2><div type="image" title="A person in a wedding dress taking a picture of a person in a black suit in the forest" height="1600" width="1068" msid="86730606" hostid="261"></div><p>My partner and I are both <a href="https://madelinerosephoto.com/">fans of film photography</a> and brought a couple of our cameras with us for the big day.</p><p>Before the ceremony started, I decided to snap a picture of my spouse-to-be standing at the altar. We took turns using the Polaroid for single portraits, and they are so special to me.</p><p>We also <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-get-best-wedding-pictures-according-to-wedding-photographer-2021-9">hired our photography team</a> to shoot Super-8mm video footage and medium-format portraits. </p><h2><strong>We had a private first dance</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="A person wearing a button down and tie kissing a person in a wedding dress" height="1068" width="1424" msid="86730608" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>We had our ceremony with friends in the morning followed by brunch and cake.</p><p>After a bit of eating and conversing, our friends headed out and left me and my partner to have the rest of the day to ourselves.</p><p>We decided we wanted to have our first dance alone in the living room of our Airbnb, and it was such a <a href="https://www.insider.com/what-i-learned-about-love-at-weddings-as-professional-bridesmaid-2021-6">sweet, intimate moment</a>.  </p><h2>Our ceremony didn't include gendered language </h2><p>The gendered history of marriage has always made me a little uncomfortable, so we opted to have a gender-neutral ceremony.</p><p>We got some inspiration from an online source and worked with our officiant to customize our script and make it feel true to us. </p><h2>We kept our ceremony small and celebrated with friends later</h2><div type="image" title="Friends at a wedding celebrator surrounding a table in a wooden room" height="1068" width="1424" msid="86730610" hostid="261"></div><p>Even though our ceremony was pretty private on a weekday morning, we still wanted to celebrate with more of our friends, so we ended up throwing a small backyard party.</p><p>We kept it casual without table settings or a formal start time and could not have had more fun.</p><p>It was nice having our wedding day feel really intimate but then still <a href="https://www.insider.com/i-had-an-expensive-wedding-regret-it-2019-7">celebrating with our larger friend group</a> - it was the best of both worlds. </p>

I got married in the forest. Here are 10 unconventional things we did to make our small wedding extra special.

<ul class="summary-list"><li>I'm a <a href="https://www.insider.com/what-disney-wedding-planning-is-really-like-costs-photos-2021-5">wedding</a> planner, so I've seen how some popular, Pinterest-inspired <keyword id="11921880" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="trends" source="Orion">trends</keyword> can go awry.</li><li>Having floating candles down the aisle and Champagne glasses for a toast can create a mess.</li><li>Long, dramatic veils can easily snag on the carpet or furniture. </li></ul><p>As a <keyword id="11896825" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding" source="Orion">wedding</keyword> planner who has worked for years in all different facets of the industry, I can tell you that some popular trends aren't always as picture-perfect as they seem.</p><p>Read on for 10 popular ideas that are more complicated than they look, plus what you need to know before attempting them.</p><h2><strong>It's easy to knock over floating candles placed down the aisle</strong></h2><p>Only a handful of my clients have featured floating candles - candles placed in a glass of water - down their aisle, but I've still learned my lesson.</p><p>Many couples are drawn to the soft and romantic ambiance of candlelight, but if you're going to try this trend at your ceremony, I highly recommend keeping a broom and towel on hand.</p><p>Guests often knock one of the candles over moments before the processional, leaving glass and water everywhere.</p><p>I'd suggest <a href="https://www.insider.com/popular-wedding-trends-this-year-according-to-wedding-planner-2021-8">decorating the ceremony space</a> with something a little more forgiving, like flowers, and save the candles for the reception.</p><h2><strong>Serving Champagne at the ceremony can lead to broken glass</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="Champagne being poured into a glass on a table of filled flutes" height="2661" width="3548" msid="85835894" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>Serving Champagne to guests as they arrive may feel like <a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-advice-best-and-worst-trends-2021">a sophisticated choice</a>, but it's also the perfect way to end up with tons of broken glass and maybe even a few cuts.</p><p>Typically, guests set their glasses down on the ground mid-ceremony once they finish their drink. Then, in the excitement of the recessional, when everyone is standing, clapping, and cheering, they forget about the cups at their feet.</p><p>As soon as the ceremony ends and guests start to shuffle out, Champagne flutes are knocked over left and right, and your rows of chairs quickly become a maze of broken glass. <strong> </strong></p><h2><strong>Neon signs</strong> can be an eyesore if not properly planned</h2><p>Custom neon signs at <keyword id="11895717" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="weddings" source="Orion">weddings</keyword> have become wildly popular since they're chic, <a href="https://www.insider.com/best-ideas-to-make-your-wedding-unique-from-wedding-planner-2021-7">make the perfect photo backdrop</a>, and can be reused in your home after. However, there are a few things you need to plan out in advance.</p><p>Make sure wherever you plan on hanging your neon sign is near an outlet, though I always advise that couples pack an extra extension cord to be safe. If it's a focal point at your reception, you'll also want to think about how to hide or disguise the wires, especially for photos.</p><p>You also need to consider how you're going to hang it. The best material is usually fishing wire since it blends really easily and can hold a good amount of weight.</p><p>Lastly, consider ordering a sign that comes with a remote to adjust the brightness since sometimes the neon color can be too much and will get blown out in photos.</p><h2><strong>Photo booths can ruin your grand exit if not closed down early enough</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="A wooden table covered in wedding photo booth props" height="2676" width="3568" msid="85835896" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>With the rise of social media and personalized hashtags, photo booths have definitely gained <a href="https://www.insider.com/things-you-should-never-have-at-your-wedding-reception-2021-8">popularity at wedding receptions</a>, but I cannot tell you how many times I've tried to usher guests out of the line to get them ready for the grand exit.</p><p>I recommend starting the photo booth during the cocktail hour, keeping it open throughout the reception, and having the operator start to break it down 30 minutes prior to the exit.</p><h2><strong>Wood-laser cutouts are easy to break</strong></h2><p>I see this trend all over <keyword id="12003362" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="pinterest" source="Orion">Pinterest</keyword> and Etsy. Wood-laser cutouts are used a lot for things, like table numbers, signs, and place cards.</p><p>Although they're a fun alternative to paper, wood cutouts are extremely breakable.</p><p>Luckily, it is almost always a clean break and an easy fix - just make sure to keep some super glue on hand.</p><h2><strong>You should invest in an outer envelop for invitation liners</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="Brown envelop with colorful floral lining on purple table" height="1873" width="2498" msid="85835899" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>Envelope liners are a great way to add fun colors, patterns, or even a venue sketch to your invites, but I would strongly recommend including an outer envelope as well.</p><p>If you're <a href="https://www.insider.com/things-i-did-to-save-money-on-wedding-as-professional-bridesmaid-2021">going the extra mile</a> to have the envelope liner in your invitation suite, you'll want guests to see it, but without a second envelope, most liners get ripped or overlooked.</p><h2><strong>Long veils can easily snag on the furniture or carpet</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="A bride wearing a long veil and holding a bouquet" height="2432" width="3242" msid="85835901" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>Veils are a great <a href="https://www.insider.com/best-and-worst-popular-wedding-day-looks-according-to-pros">addition any wedding look</a>, and I've seen a recent increase in intricate designs using sequins, appliques (ornamental overlays of fabric), and pearls, among other materials. </p><p>But before choosing the veil of your dreams, take your aisle into consideration.</p><p>You first need to consider the width of your veil versus that of the aisle and if you would be able to rearrange the seating to make room if needed.</p><p>Additionally, if you're getting married in a venue with a carpeted floor, consider how your veil will move - beading or sequins can easily snag on the material. I've seen one too many brides begin their walk down the aisle, only to have the accessory catch on a pew or the floor and rip off.</p><p>There's typically not more than hairspray and a few well-placed bobby pins holding a veil in, so it doesn't take much to displace it. </p><h2><strong>Some attendees may not understand how to sign alternative guest books</strong></h2><p>An increasing number of clients have opted for more personal or interactive guest books, like Jenga blocks, puzzle pieces, wine corks, and wood signs.</p><p>Although alternative guest books are fun, sometimes guests, especially older ones, may not know what they're supposed to be signing.</p><p>One easy way to make it clear is to have your wedding party sign it earlier in the day while they're getting ready, which will serve as a clear example for the other guests.</p><h2><strong>Magnetic boutonnieres can be dangerous for people who wear pacemakers</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="A man in a blue suit with a purple, white, and green boutonniere" height="2647" width="3529" msid="85835902" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>If you have ever watched <a href="https://www.insider.com/biggest-bachelor-bachelorette-controversies-2019-2">ABC's "The Bachelorette"</a> and wondered how she pins the rose boutonnieres onto the men so quickly, it's because of magnets.</p><p>Magnetic boutonnieres make the "pinning" process much easier, but you'll need to ask if any of the people wearing them use a pacemaker before placing your order. </p><p>The magnets in the boutonniere could affect their pacemaker and cause an impromptu hospital visit.</p><h2><strong>Private last dances require some extra coordination to get guests out in time</strong></h2><p>I love that private last dances have become a trend - when the couple stays behind in the reception for <a href="https://www.insider.com/not-romantic-first-dance-songs-2018-11">one final dance</a> to soak it all in while their guests line up outside for the grand exit.</p><p>If you're planning on a private last dance at your wedding, you'll need to allot enough time in your schedule for guests to clear the room, typically about 10 minutes.</p><p>There's always a handful of attendees who like to linger, need to put their shoes back on, or go to the bathroom, among other things.</p><p>To help speed the process along, you can flicker or turn on all of the lights in the reception (just make sure to turn them back off for the dance).</p><p>You can also have the band or DJ make continuous announcements for attendees to head toward the door and have your wedding planner or party hand out the chosen exit item. Once guests have the sparkler or flower petals in their hands, they're more likely to line up.</p>

I'm a wedding planner. Here are 10 popular trends you're probably doing wrong.

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Insider asked <keyword id="6" type="ENTERTAINMENT" weightage="60" keywordseo="fashion" source="Orion">fashion</keyword> experts about their least and most favorite <keyword id="11896825" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding" source="Orion">wedding</keyword> looks. </li><li>Ball gowns and mermaid-style <keyword id="11921492" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="dresses" source="Orion">dresses</keyword> are popular choices but aren't entirely functional. </li><li>Low-back numbers and long sleeves add style and drama to just about any occasion. </li></ul><p>Some wedding-day looks are fleeting, but others <a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-advice-best-and-worst-trends-2021">have the potential to become timeless</a> styles. </p><p>Insider asked fashion professionals to share their least favorite outfit trends, and which numbers they'll likely adore for years to come. </p><h2><strong>Puffy ball gowns often make movement difficult</strong></h2><p><strong></strong></p><div type="image" title="wedding dress bride bridal gown" height="2797" width="3730" msid="81959655" hostid="261"></div><p>Creative director <a href="https://www.sayjayjohnson.com">Sarah Johnson</a>, the owner of Odette and Odile, told Insider that one of her least favorite wedding looks is the puffy ball gown.  </p><p>"This style is impractical, as you'll spend most of the night getting stepped on and <a href="https://www.insider.com/facts-about-say-yes-to-the-dress-2018-12">adjusting your dress</a>," Johnson said. "It also creates so much space between you and your partner."  </p><p>Johnson recommended swapping the full ball gown for a slimmer style, like an A-line fit, or changing into a second dress for the reception. </p><h2><strong>Mermaid gowns can be uncomfortable</strong></h2><p><strong></strong></p><div type="image" title="mermaid wedding dress" height="2679" width="3572" msid="81959660" hostid="261"></div><p><a href="https://www.nichyl.com">Nic Hyl</a>, creative director and founder of her namesake fashion line, told Insider that mermaid gowns <a href="https://www.insider.com/the-best-and-worst-fashion-trends-of-the-year-2020-2">may be overdone</a> and are often difficult to comfortably wear. </p><p>"For me, this style lacks originality," Hyl said. "The silhouette can be flattering on the body, but you see it far too often, and it's actually really difficult to walk and move in."</p><p>Hyl suggested that <keyword id="25277" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="brides" source="Orion">brides</keyword> looking for a figure-flattering dress consider an illusion gown, which features sheer mesh or lace accents that reveal a bit of skin. </p><h2><strong>Tiaras are difficult to keep straight</strong></h2><p>Johnson told Insider that brides should skip the glittery crown on their wedding day. </p><p>"I wouldn't recommend a tiara <a href="https://www.insider.com/photos-of-princess-diana-best-most-shocking-outfits">unless you're an actual princess</a>," Johnson said. "They end up being crooked a majority of the time." </p><p>Those looking for a bit of sparkle can opt for jeweled or metallic clips as a more subtle way to embellish their wedding hairdo.</p><h2><strong>Designers said they can't stand the idea of sneakers as wedding shoes</strong></h2><div type="image" title="wedding dress sneakers" height="2138" width="2851" msid="81959664" hostid="261"></div><p>Johnson said that she cringes every time she sees sneakers worn with a wedding dress. </p><p>"You can use gel inserts to make your heels much more comfortable," Johnson said. "I die a little inside when I see brides wearing sneakers or going barefoot."</p><p>Hyl added that opting for formal flats over heels can keep the look comfortable and wedding-appropriate.</p><p>"There are so many beautiful and comfortable shoes in the world that a sneaker shouldn't be the final choice for such an important event," Hyl told Insider. </p><h2><strong>Cropped <keyword id="1164050" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding-dresses" source="Orion">wedding dresses</keyword> may be overly trendy</strong></h2><p>The trend for cropped separates has <a href="https://www.insider.com/celebrities-who-wore-wedding-dresses-to-red-carpet-events">morphed into wedding attire</a>, but Johnson advised against sporting this look on your big day. </p><p>"This style never looks as good in practice as it does in magazines," Johnson said.</p><p>She added that swapping the cropped gown for a chic jumpsuit could make for a less risky, yet still unconventional wedding look. </p><h2><strong>Puffy sleeves can be impractical and photograph </strong><strong>poorly</strong></h2><p><strong></strong></p><div type="image" title="puffy sleeve wedding dress" height="1836" width="2448" msid="81959666" hostid="261"></div><p><a href="https://graceandivory.com">Tina Zysk</a>, creative director and founder of Grace and Ivory, told Insider that she <a href="https://www.insider.com/clothes-and-accessories-that-have-gone-out-of-style-in-2020">dislikes the trend</a> of exaggerated or puffy sleeves on wedding gowns. </p><p>"Bishop sleeves or puffy sleeves are prone to catching on and knocking things over, like cake or beverages," Zysk said. </p><p>Zysk also added that large, loose sleeves can look odd when photographed outdoors due to the effects of the sun and wind. </p><h2><strong>High-low gowns can be tough to pull off </strong></h2><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/celebrity-wedding-dresses-2019-1">Wedding gowns with</a> a high-low hemline often feature a skirt that is floor-length in the back and knee-length or higher in the front. </p><p>"This is a tricky silhouette for weddings," Zysk said. "Wind and weather can wreak havoc with high-low gowns, and they often look very different when bustled."</p><p>Brides who want to show off their legs or shoes could also consider a tea-length gown or a longer dress with a high slit. </p><h2><strong>On the other hand, low-back dresses look beautiful from just about any angle</strong></h2><p><strong></strong></p><div type="image" title="wedding couple" height="1869" width="2488" msid="81959668" hostid="261"></div><p>Johnson told Insider that she loves wedding gowns with low backs. </p><p>"People will be looking and photographing you from every angle," Johnson said. "A low back is also a great way to add a sexy element to your gown without showing a lot of cleavage."</p><p>If your <a href="https://www.insider.com/what-not-to-spend-on-for-a-wedding-2020-1">tastes or wedding location</a> won't allow for an exposed look, you can adapt this trend by choosing a dress with an embellished back. </p><h2><strong>Long-sleeved dresses often look chic</strong></h2><p>After having fallen out of fashion for several decades, wedding dresses with long sleeves have <a href="https://www.insider.com/fashion-and-clothing-trends-that-will-be-popular-in-2021">made a comeback in recent years</a>. </p><p>"Sleeves on bridal gowns are underrated," Johnson said. "They look great in photos and add sophistication, drama, and elegance."</p><p>Long-sleeved gowns are perfect for winter weddings but can be adapted for warmer climates by using sheer fabrics or light lace. </p><h2><strong>Capes are a fun alternative to veils</strong></h2><p><strong></strong></p><div type="image" title="wedding dress and cape" height="1503" width="2000" msid="81959670" hostid="261"></div><p>If you love the drama of a long bridal veil but <a href="https://www.insider.com/first-time-coloring-hair-tips-2018-8">don't want to hide your hairstyle</a>, wearing a cape could be the answer. </p><p>"Capes are a great new way to spice up your gown and ditch the traditional veil," Johnson said. </p><p>You can find capes in all different sizes and styles, from floor-length pieces to options that drape to the elbow.</p><h2><strong>Crepe dresses can be flattering and comfortable</strong></h2><p>Crepe is a type of fabric with a wrinkled, textured appearance that can be made from a variety of textiles such as silk, wool, or polyester. </p><p>"I love how crepe dresses drape — they're flattering on so many body types," Zysk said. "Crepe fabrics can be luxe but also very comfortable to wear." </p><p>In addition to getting top <a href="https://www.insider.com/jeans-over-the-years-2018-8">marks for comfort and fit</a>, the fabric's intentionally wrinkled nature makes it a sensible choice for outdoor weddings or receptions. </p><h2><strong>Mixing fabrics can keep a dress from looking boring</strong></h2><p>Johnson told Insider that she loves the visual interest that comes from mixing fabrics in a wedding gown. </p><p>"I love dresses that aren't full lace or full satin," Johnson said. "Having a nice element of both gives the dress dimension and character."</p><p>Depending <a href="https://www.insider.com/places-you-can-get-married-for-free-2018-12">on your wedding location</a> and season, selecting a gown with a mix of heavier and lighter fabrics may also keep you more comfortable on your big day. </p>

Fashion experts share 7 wedding looks they can't stand, and 5 they absolutely love

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Nick and <keyword id="1962804" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="Vanessa-Lachey">Vanessa Lachey</keyword> met on the set of "Total Request Live" and later started dating in 2006. </li><li>They got married in 2011 and have since had three children together. </li><li>In 2020, the pair cohosted the hit Netflix reality show "<keyword id="23955" type="ENTERTAINMENT" weightage="60" keywordseo="love-is-blind">Love Is Blind</keyword>."</li></ul><p>About 15 years ago, <keyword id="26006" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="Nick-lachey">Nick Lachey</keyword> and Vanessa Lachey (née Minnillo) felt sparks on a music-video set and eventually shared a New Year's kiss on MTV cameras. </p><p>The two, who went on to get married and have three children, recently celebrated the power of love <a href="https://www.insider.com/love-is-blind-secrets-stories-and-season-2-details-2020-8">by cohosting Netflix's hit reality show "Love Is Blind."</a></p><p>Here's a look at Nick and Vanessa's long-lasting <keyword id="6355233" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="Relationship">relationship</keyword>, from their early flirtations caught on camera to their mutual career successes:</p><h2><strong>Early 2000s: They appeared on MTV's 'Total Request Live' when Vanessa was a host and Nick was married to someone else </strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="nick and vanessa lachey on total request live" height="1457" width="1942" msid="81995361" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>Vanessa joined "Total Request Live" as a host in 2003, and Nick frequented the show after his rise to fame in the boy band 98 Degrees. </p><p>At the time, Nick was <a href="https://www.insider.com/jessica-simpson-nick-lachey-relationship-drama-timeline">still married to his first wife, Jessica Simpson</a>, and Vanessa frequently covered the news of their relationship.</p><p>In a <a href="https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/pop/7981924/nick-lachey-vanessa-minnillo-romance-trl-whats-left-of-me-video">2017 interview with Billboard</a>, Nick said that although "TRL" wasn't the only thing that connected them, it "was definitely part of our time together."</p><h2><strong>November 23, 2005: Nick and Simpson announced their divorce</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey in 2003." height="2094" width="2792" msid="81995362" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>After three years of marriage, the couple publicly <a href="https://www.insider.com/elliot-page-and-emma-portner-relationship-timeline">announced their split</a> to Us Weekly. </p><p>"This is the mutual decision of two people with an enormous amount of respect and admiration for each other," they wrote in a statement, <a href="http://www.mtv.com/news/1514515/its-official-jessica-simpson-and-nick-lachey-split/">according to MTV</a>. "We hope that you respect our privacy during this difficult time." </p><p>Months after announcing their breakup, they <a href="https://people.com/celebrity/nick-jessicas-divorce-is-final/">finalized their divorce</a> in June 2006. </p><h2><strong>April 2006: Vanessa starred in Nick's music video for 'What's Left of Me'</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="What's Left of Me music video" height="1358" width="1811" msid="81995363" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>Vanessa played the girl who had broken Nick's heart <a href="https://www.insider.com/big-celebrity-music-video-transformations-with-photos">in the music video</a> for his hit song, which was <a href="https://www.insider.com/jessica-simpson-nick-lachey-relationship-drama-timeline">about his relationship with Simpson</a>. </p><p>And <a href="https://www.eonline.com/news/892497/nick-and-vanessa-lachey-s-love-story-meeting-cute-falling-hard-and-breaking-up-before-happily-ever-after">E! News reported</a> that at one point during a behind-the-scenes look on <a href="https://www.eonline.com/news/892497/nick-and-vanessa-lachey-s-love-story-meeting-cute-falling-hard-and-breaking-up-before-happily-ever-after">MTV's "Making the Video,"</a> Vanessa said to the camera, "He's a gem ... mini-crush." </p><p>In the same <a href="https://www.billboard.com/articles/columns/pop/7981924/nick-lachey-vanessa-minnillo-romance-trl-whats-left-of-me-video">2017 interview with Billboard</a>, Vanessa called the music video "the beginning of our relationship."</p><p>"That's what made it no longer friends and it got romantic," Vanessa said. "To the point that if you go back and look at the video, when he came to premiere it, I was so nervous and so crushing him that I didn't show up for work that day. I called in sick." </p><h2><strong>Summer 2006: Nick and Vanessa started dating</strong></h2><p>The new couple was <a href="https://www.tmz.com/2006/07/05/bye-nick-and-jess-hello/">spotted spending time together</a> off-screen. </p><p>During a 2020 appearance on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exuuFmoHkSM">"Strahan, Sara and Keke,"</a> Nick said that he took Vanessa to Hooters for their first date after his show in New Jersey. </p><p>Vanessa added that earlier that day, a psychic stopped her on the street to tell her she was going to find her prince charming "on a white horse."</p><p>Later that night, Nick sent a white Escalade to pick her up for their date. </p><h2><strong>January 1, 2007: They took their relationship public with an on-screen kiss </strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="nick and vanessa lachey" height="2250" width="3000" msid="81995364" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>After months of being spotted together, Nick and Vanessa <a href="https://www.insider.com/justin-and-hailey-bieber-talking-about-their-marriage-sex-life">seemingly made things official</a> by sharing an on-air kiss during MTV's New Year's Eve special at <a href="https://people.com/celebrity/nick-lachey-vanessa-minnillo-ring-in-new-year/">midnight</a>. </p><h2><strong>June 2009: The pair briefly broke up</strong></h2><p>After three years together, Nick and Vanessa <a href="https://www.insider.com/celebrity-couples-broke-up-got-back-together-married-2017-9">split up for a short period</a> of time. </p><p>Vanessa's representative told <a href="https://people.com/celebrity/nick-lachey-and-vanessa-minnillo-split/">People</a> that they had "amicably split" and were remaining "good friends." </p><p>But <a href="https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/nick-and-vanessa-2009810/">according to Us Weekly</a>, the two were back on by the end of the summer, and Nick told the publication in September 2009 that they were "trying to figure things out." </p><p>"I don't pretend to know what the future holds, but everything's good," Nick said. "Vanessa's a good girl, and I care about her a lot." </p><h2><strong>October 2009: Nick publicly confirmed he was back with Vanessa </strong></h2><p><a href="https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/nick-and-vanessa-2009810/">Us Weekly reported</a> that Nick shared his relationship status during an appearance on "Good Day Philadelphia."</p><p>"I am happy in a relationship," he said. "I was single for a minute there, and then we've kind of patched things up."</p><h2><strong>November 2010: Nick and Vanessa got engaged</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="nick and vanessa lachey" height="2094" width="2792" msid="81995366" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>After about four years of dating, Nick got down on both knees to propose to Vanessa. </p><p>The two detailed the moment during an "<keyword id="4578" type="COMPANY" weightage="100" keywordseo="entertainment">Entertainment</keyword> Tonight" interview with Nancy O'Dell, and Nick said he gave his "best romantic effort." </p><p>When Vanessa shared that Nick got down on both knees to propose, he added, "I figured one wasn't enough. I had to go to the full begging position, you know, and plead for her hand." </p><p>And in a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LTOCcb1Llg0">December 2010 interview with CNN</a>, Nick said <a href="https://www.insider.com/questions-you-should-ask-your-someone-before-marrying-them-2018-11">that the engagement</a> had been a long time coming. </p><p>"I think I knew pretty early on that we would be a good match, that I loved her," he said. "So I would say, within the first six months we dated, I probably knew that was the one I wanted to be with." </p><h2><strong>July 2011: They got married on a private island in the Caribbean</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="nick vanessa lachey january 2018" height="1255" width="1674" msid="81995367" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>Nick and Vanessa tied the knot during a small ceremony <a href="https://people.com/celebrity/nick-lachey-vanessa-minnillo-married-on-necker-island/">at Sir Richard Branson's private</a> getaway in the British Virgin Islands. </p><p>They told <a href="https://people.com/celebrity/vanessa-minnillo-nick-lachey-get-married/">People in July 2011</a> that they sent the invitations in the form of plane tickets and flew their guests in for the surprise trip.</p><p>"We told them they were going away and the attire was island chic," Nick said. "It was all very vague."</p><p>Later that month, the couple <a href="https://www.insider.com/things-that-went-wrong-with-my-wedding-and-what-i-did">showcased their big day</a> with the feature-length TLC special "Nick and Vanessa's Dream Wedding."</p><h2><strong>September 12, 2012: The couple welcomed their 1st child together</strong></h2><p><a href="https://people.com/parents/nick-lachey-vanessa-lachey-welcome-son-camden-john/">Vanessa gave birth</a> to the couple's first son, Camden John Lachey, in September 2012. </p><p>"Love has truly been redefined for both of us," the couple <a href="https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-moms/news/vanessa-minnillo-nick-lachey-welcome-son-camden-john-2012139/">told Us Weekly</a>.</p><h2><strong>January 5, 2015: Their 2nd child was born</strong></h2><p>The two welcomed their daughter, Brooklyn Elisabeth Lachey, at the beginning of 2015. </p><p>"I have been dreaming of this moment for as long as I can remember, the day I was going to meet my little girl," Vanessa wrote on her now-defunct website, <a href="https://people.com/parents/nick-lachey-vanessa-lachey-welcome-daughter-brooklyn-elisabeth/">according to People</a>. "A friend recently told me how magical today was going to be because it's the day I would meet my best friend." </p><p>"I can't even begin to tell you how it felt to hold her in my arms for the very first time," she added. </p><h2><strong>December 24, 2016: They celebrated the birth of their 3rd child </strong></h2><p>In the middle of <a href="https://www.insider.com/christmas-around-the-world-2018-12">the holiday season</a>, Vanessa gave birth to their second son, Phoenix Robert Lachey. </p><p>Vanessa posted a photo on <a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BOe7zmmg6Yh/?utm_source=ig_embed">Instagram</a> of the baby holding her finger, writing that he "decided to show up early and was born on Christmas Eve."</p><blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background:#FFF; border:0; border-radius:3px; box-shadow:0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width:540; padding:0; width:99.375%; width:-webkit-calc(100% - 2px); width:calc(100% - 2px); data.width~540;"><div style="padding:8px;"><div style="background:#F8F8F8; line-height:0; margin-top:40px; padding:62.4537037037% 0; text-align:center; width:100%;"><div style="background:url(data:image/png;base64,iVBORw0KGgoAAAANSUhEUgAAACwAAAAsCAMAAAApWqozAAAABGdBTUEAALGPC/xhBQAAAAFzUkdCAK7OHOkAAAAMUExURczMzPf399fX1+bm5mzY9AMAAADiSURBVDjLvZXbEsMgCES5/P8/t9FuRVCRmU73JWlzosgSIIZURCjo/ad+EQJJB4Hv8BFt+IDpQoCx1wjOSBFhh2XssxEIYn3ulI/6MNReE07UIWJEv8UEOWDS88LY97kqyTliJKKtuYBbruAyVh5wOHiXmpi5we58Ek028czwyuQdLKPG1Bkb4NnM+VeAnfHqn1k4+GPT6uGQcvu2h2OVuIf/gWUFyy8OWEpdyZSa3aVCqpVoVvzZZ2VTnn2wU8qzVjDDetO90GSy9mVLqtgYSy231MxrY6I2gGqjrTY0L8fxCxfCBbhWrsYYAAAAAElFTkSuQmCC); display:block; height:44px; margin:0 auto -44px; position:relative; top:-22px; width:44px;"></div></div><p style="margin:8px 0 0 0; padding:0 4px;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BOe7zmmg6Yh" style=" color:#000; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; font-style:normal; font-weight:normal; line-height:17px; text-decoration:none; word-wrap:break-word;" target="_blank"></a></p> <p style=" color:#c9c8cd; font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px; margin-bottom:0; margin-top:8px; overflow:hidden; padding:8px 0 7px; text-align:center; text-overflow:ellipsis; white-space:nowrap;">A post shared by Vanessa Lachey (@vanessalachey)<time style=" font-family:Arial,sans-serif; font-size:14px; line-height:17px;" datetime=""></time></p></div></blockquote><h2><strong>Fall 2017: Nick and Vanessa did a side-by-side stint on 'Dancing With the Stars'</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="nick and vanessa lachey dancing with the stars" height="2695" width="3594" msid="81995370" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>The couple merged their careers as cast members <a href="https://www.insider.com/dancing-with-the-stars-fun-facts-2018-10">on season 25 of "Dancing With the Stars."</a> </p><p>Nick was paired with Peta Murgatroyd, and Vanessa partnered with Murgatroyd's husband, Maksim Chmerkovskiy. </p><p>But in September 2019, <a href="https://www.usatoday.com/story/entertainment/celebrities/2019/09/18/nick-lachey-dwts-i-never-felt-more-uncomfortable-my-life/2367840001/">Nick told USA Today</a> that he doesn't like dancing and probably "shouldn't have done it to begin with."</p><p>"That was one of those things - I'm glad I did it," Nick said. "I'm glad I checked it off the list, and I can look back and say, 'I have no regrets,' (but) it was not one of the fonder moments in my life."</p><h2><strong>February 2020: They cohosted the reality dating show 'Love Is Blind'</strong></h2><p><strong><div type="image" title="nick and vanessa lachey love is blind" height="1187" width="1582" msid="81995371" hostid="261"></div></strong></p><p>Nick and Vanessa paired up with Netflix to cohost <a href="https://www.insider.com/cool-facts-about-love-is-blind-on-netflix-2020-2">"Love Is Blind,"</a> the hit reality show in which contestants fall in love without seeing each other until the proposal.</p><p>During their 2020 appearance on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exuuFmoHkSM">"Strahan, Sara and Keke,"</a> they tied the premise back to their own relationship and explained that they had originally gotten to know each other in a similar way since they were living across the country when they first started dating. </p><p>"We actually spent a lot of time getting to know each other on the phone, kind of the old-school way ..." Nick said. "You actually got to know somebody by spending hours and hours talking through everything and what made you tick, and it really kind of was the foundation for our relationship." </p><h2><strong>August 2020: Vanessa said she hasn't ruled out having a 4th child with Nick </strong></h2><p>In an <a href="https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-moms/news/vanessa-lachey-is-open-to-4th-baby-with-nick-its-possible/">August 2020 interview with Us Weekly</a>, Vanessa did not shoot down the idea of having another kid when asked about it.</p><p>"I mean, I still like my husband, and he likes me," she said. "So I guess anything's possible."</p>

Nick and Vanessa Lachey have been married for nearly 10 years. Here's a timeline of their relationship.

<ul class="summary-list"><li><a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.578083/full">A study</a> found divorcees reported worse mental and physical <keyword id="6354750" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="health">health</keyword> immediately after their <keyword id="6355810" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="divorce">divorce</keyword> than the general public. </li><li>The study, published in Frontiers of Psychology, surveyed 1,900 Danish divorcees. </li><li>Overall, they reported worse physical health, energy levels, mental health, and ability to handle social situations than the general population.</li><li>The most important factor for physical and mental health following a divorce was the level of conflict within it.</li></ul><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/divorce-court-is-booming-during-the-normally-quiet-holiday-season-2020-11">An increasing number of divorces</a> this holiday season may be more than unfortunate byproduct of the pandemic. A new study that's the first of its kind found divorce may impact people's physical and mental health as well.  </p><p>The study, <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.578083/full">published in Frontiers in Psychology</a>, surveyed 1,900 divorcees in Denmark. The participants filled out questionnaires on the nature of their divorce, their background, and their health. </p><p>Overall, the results found the quality of life for people immediately after their divorce was worse than the average Danish population. </p><p>"The mental and physical health of divorcees was significantly worse than the comparative background population immediately following divorce," Dr. Søren <a href="https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2020-11/f-mbh112520.php">Sander, a professor at the University of Copenhagen, said in a press release. </a></p><h2>Divorcees had more trouble physically functioning, reported more bodily pain, and had worse overall physical health </h2><p>The questionnaire measured overall physical health, mental health, social functioning (ability to interact with others), and vitality (or general energy level).</p><p>Divorcees reported worse outcomes immediately after their divorce in every major box, <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/files/Articles/578083/fpsyg-11-578083-HTML/image_m/fpsyg-11-578083-g002.jpg">with the largest gap in mental health</a>. </p><p>Stress, like that caused by divorce, <a href="https://www.insider.com/can-stress-make-you-sick#:~:text=Some%20research%20has%20found%20that,and%20long%2Dterm%20physical%20illnesses.">has been previously linked to worse overall health</a>, triggering weaker immune systems, worse cardiovascular health, poor sleep quality, and heightened anxiety and depression.  </p><p>The nature of a divorce also appears to determines what toll it takes on a person's health. Less conflict during the divorce led to better physical and mental health for divorcees compared to couples with higher rates of conflict.</p><p>"Across gender, higher levels of divorce conflict were found to predict worse mental health, even when accounting for other socio-demographic variables and divorce characteristics," Sander said.</p><p><em><strong>Read More:</strong></em></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/divorce-court-is-booming-during-the-normally-quiet-holiday-season-2020-11">Divorce court is normally quiet during the holiday season, but this year it's booming as the pandemic drives couples apart</a></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/japan-ikumen-project-seeks-to-give-men-crash-course-fatherhood-2020-9">Japan is training men to be 'childcare hunks' to make them better husbands and curb the country's soaring divorce rate</a></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/what-its-like-for-a-divorced-couple-living-quarantine-together-2020-4">A couple filed for divorce 2 weeks before quarantining together in a New York City apartment — here's what it's been like</a></p>

Divorce has a negative impact on physical and mental health, study finds

<ul class="summary-list"><li><keyword id="32912" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="Jada-Pinkett-Smith">Jada Pinkett Smith</keyword> opened up about working through her codependency with <keyword id="4793" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="Will-Smith">Will Smith</keyword> and healing through her relationship with August Alsina on her most recent "<keyword id="6572229" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="red-table-talk">Red Table Talk</keyword>." </li><li>People with codependent tendencies tend to prioritize "fixing" others before healing their own trauma, oftentimes harming themselves in the process. </li><li>"In the process of that relationship, I definitely realized that you can't find happiness outside of yourself," Pinkett Smith said. </li></ul><p>Jada Pinkett Smith opened up about a relationship during a break in her marriage and her journey with <a href="https://www.facebook.com/redtabletalk/videos/718425758995043">codependency during a recent episode of "Red Table Talk."</a></p><p>Will Smith sat in Pinkett Smith's usual interviewing seat at the red table, while Pinkett Smith candidly spoke about how she healed during her relationship with singer August Alsina. </p><p>Pinkett Smith and Smith said they spent time apart four years ago, thinking their marriage was over. It was then that Pinkett Smith began a romantic relationship with Alsina. </p><p>"I just wanted to feel good," Pinkett Smith said. "It had been so long since I felt good and it was really a joy to just help heal somebody. I think that has a lot to do with my codependency, which is another thing I had to learn to break in this cycle, just that idea of needing to fix and being drawn to people that need help."</p><h2>Codependency can lead someone to prioritize 'fixing' someone else to feel happiness or self-worth</h2><p>Codependency is a pattern of behavior where a person prioritizes a relationship — whether it's with a lover or family member — over their own needs, <a href="https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-stop-being-codependent">according to Healthline</a>. Typically, people who are codependent feel like they need the relationship to live, even if they're miserable in it.</p><p>"Whether it's your <keyword id="6354750" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="health">health</keyword>, whether it's your addictions, there's something about that childhood trauma that feels as though it can be fixed through fixing people versus fixing me," Pinkett Smith said. </p><p>"In the process of that relationship [with Alsina], I definitely realized that you can't find happiness outside of yourself," Pinkett Smith said. </p><p><strong>Watch the full <a href="https://www.facebook.com/redtabletalk/videos/718425758995043">"Red Table Talk"</a> episode below.</strong></p>html&gt;  Your Website Title                     <blockquote cite="https://www.facebook.com/facebook/videos/10153231379946729/">        <a href="https://www.facebook.com/facebook/videos/10153231379946729/">How to Share With Just Friends</a>        <p>How to share with just friends.</p>        Posted by <a href="https://www.facebook.com/facebook/">Facebook</a> on Friday, December 5, 2014      </blockquote>      <p><em><strong>Read More: </strong></em></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/jada-pinkett-doesnt-know-will-smith-red-table-talk-video-2020-4">Jada Pinkett Smith says she learned she doesn't know Will Smith 'at all' while self-isolating together</a></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/jaden-smith-people-offered-food-health-red-table-talk-video-2019-12">Jaden Smith says people offered him food and asked if he was sick after his parents had a very public health intervention on their talk show</a></p><p><a href="https://www.insider.com/jada-pinkett-smith-willow-smith-starving-red-table-talk-video-2019-12">Jada Pinkett Smith says someone called Child Protective Services for 'starving' Willow, and her daughter thinks she knows the reason behind it</a></p>

Jada Pinkett Smith said codependency made her want to 'just help heal' August Alsina during their relationship

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Melinda Gates bought a $1.2 million cottage in Seattle just three weeks before filing for <keyword id="6355810" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="divorce">divorce</keyword> from <keyword id="45830" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="Bill-Gates">Bill Gates</keyword>.</li><li>Bill and Melinda Gates filed for divorce on Monday in the state of Washington.</li><li>The couple's combined net worth is at least $130.5 billion.</li></ul><p>Melinda Gates bought a $1.2 million cottage in Seattle's North Broadway neighborhood three weeks before she and Bill Gates filed for divorce.</p><p>She bought the four-bedroom, two-bathroom home in early April, according to a deed obtained by Insider. </p><p><a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/bill-melinda-gates-announce-divorce-end-marriage-2021-5">The Gates announced they were divorcing</a> on Monday after 27 years of marriage.</p><p>"After a great deal of thought and a lot of work on our relationship, we have made the decision to end our marriage," they said in a statement. "Over the last 27 years, we have raised three incredible children and built a foundation that works all over the world to enable all people to lead healthy, productive lives."</p><iframe src="https://embed.documentcloud.org/documents/20697444-melinda-f-gates-property-deed/?embed=1&amp;responsive=1&amp;title=1;title=1" title="melinda f gates property deed (Hosted by DocumentCloud)" width="700" height="905" style="border: 1px solid #aaa; width: 100%; height: 800px; height: calc(100vh - 100px);" sandbox="allow-scripts allow-same-origin allow-popups allow-forms allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox"></iframe><p>The <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1997/06/15/weekinreview/here-comes-a-bride-cut-out-of-the-loot.html">New York Times</a> reported in 1997 that Melinda and Bill Gates filed a prenuptial agreement when they got married, however, the divorce filings only allude to a "separation contract" to divide real property, personal property, and debts.</p><p>Melinda Gates notably <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/melinda-french-gates-name-bill-gates-divorce-2021-5">did not request a name change</a> in her petition for dissolving her marraige and will be keeping her full name of Melinda French Gates.</p><p>The couple first met in 1987 when Melinda Gates joined Microsoft as a product manager. The couple married in Lanai, Hawaii in 1994 and established the <a href="https://www.gatesfoundation.org/">Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation</a> in 2000. The foundation quickly became one of the most influential private nonprofit organizations in the world, boasting a nearly $50 billion endowment.</p><p>Bill and Melinda Gates have three adult children.</p><p>Jennifer, their eldest child, said on Instagram that she would not comment on the divorce but added "it's been a challenging stretch of time for our whole family."</p><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span><img src="?format=jpeg" alt="" height="" width="" /><span class="copyright"></span>

Melinda Gates bought a $1.2 million cottage in Seattle 3 weeks before she and Bill Gates filed for divorce

<p><div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table float_right"><div><div class="image on-image"><img src="https://static-ssl.businessinsider.com/image/55e120e29dd7cc1b008b6ddc-3536-2992/ap_852185467633.jpg" alt="AP_852185467633" data-mce-source="AP Photo/Timothy D. Easley" data-mce-caption="Rowan County Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis speaks to a gathering of supporters during a rally on the steps of the Kentucky State Capitol in Frankfort Ky., Saturday, Aug. 22, 2015. Davis spoke at the rally organized by The Family Foundation of Kentucky on Saturday afternoon. The crowd of a few thousand included churchgoers from around the state. Davis has been sued by The American Civil Liberties Union for denying marriage licenses to gay couples. She says her Christian faith prohibits her from signing licenses for same-sex couples." /><p class="source"><span>AP Photo/Timothy D. Easley</span></p><p class="caption">Rowan County Kentucky Clerk Kim Davis speaks to a gathering of supporters at the Kentucky State Capitol Saturday, Aug. 22, 2015.</p></div><p></p></div></div>Kim Davis, a clerk in Rowan County, Kentucky who refuses to issue marriage licenses to gay couples citing religious objections, is petitioning the same Supreme Court that legalized gay marriage to protect her rights.</p><p><span>"If a (same-sex marriage) license is issued with Davis' name, authorization and approval, no one can unring that bell," Davis wrote in her statement to the court, says <a href="http://www.mediaite.com/online/ky-clerk-ordered-to-issue-gay-marriage-licenses-now-appealing-to-scotus/" target="_blank">Mediaite</a>. </span></p><p><span>"That searing act of validation would forever echo in her conscience."</span></p><p><span></span>Davis' office has been <a href="http://www.mediaite.com/online/watch-this-kentucky-clerk-refuse-to-issue-marriage-license-to-same-sex-couple/">filmed rejecting</a> <a href="http://www.mediaite.com/online/watch-gay-couple-returns-to-ky-clerk-office-and-are-refused-marriage-license-again/">gay couples</a> <a href="http://www.mediaite.com/online/kentucky-clerks-office-defies-court-order-still-refuses-to-issue-same-sex-marriage-license/">three times</a>, as she protests the Supreme Court ruling on <em>Obergefell V. Hodges. </em>She has remained adamant about not issuing the licenses, despite a court ruling stipulating that Davis is legally required to issue licenses to all qualified applicants.</p><p>Two days ago, the 6th circuit <a href="http://www.mediaite.com/online/federal-court-issues-order-for-anti-lgbt-kentucky-clerk-to-issue-marriage-licenses/">denied her motion</a> to stay the appeal, ordering her to end the freeze. The next day, Davis and her lawyers filed an emergency application to SCOTUS, pleading for "asylum for her conscience" until the appeal is finished, according to Mediaite.</p><p>Simultaneously, Rowan County Attorney Cecil Watkins told the <a href="http://www.kentucky.com/2015/08/28/4009810_rowan-county-clerk-asks-supreme.html?rh=1" target="_blank">Lexington Herald-Leader</a> that he asked Kentucky Attorney General Jack Conway to investigate Davis for misconduct. The lawyer said he is acting on behalf of two men who were <a href="http://www.kentucky.com/2015/08/27/4007721/rowan-county-clerk-kim-davis-denies.html">turned away Thursday</a><span> by Davis'</span><span> office when they tried to apply for a marraige license.</span></p><p><span>Misconduct is a misdemeanor charge that could carry up to a year in jail and a $500 dollar fine.</span></p><p>The Lexington Herald-Leader says Davis is a registered Democrat who began a four year term as county clerk in January. She is currently being sued by six couples over her refusal to issue marraige licenses. </p>    <div class="margin-top">        <h3>NOW WATCH: <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/sandra-bland-bond-hearing-video-waller-county-jail-2015-7">Officials release video of Sandra Bland's bond hearing inside Waller County Jail</a></h3>        <div>            <div>    <script src="http://player.ooyala.com/v3/6e12e8b3387a44daacfb73afba25a76e"></script>    <div class="ooyala-video-player" data-video-autoplay="false" data-video-id="VvbmZrdjqAycIwraI-FeFRFCN0RGJWDv" data-player-variable="ooyalapopvideo" id="ooyalaplayer_popvideo" style="width:1280px;height:720px"></div>    <script>    if (typeof RunFunctions === 'undefined') { var RunFunctions = []; }     RunFunctions.push(function()    {         var ooyalapopvideo = OO.Player.create('ooyalaplayer_popvideo', 'VvbmZrdjqAycIwraI-FeFRFCN0RGJWDv',{ autoplay: 'false' });     });    </script>    <noscript><div>Please enable Javascript to watch this video</div></noscript></div>        </div>        <script>(function() { function createPlayer() { OO.ready(function() { RunFunctions.forEach(function(ooyalaFunction) { ooyalaFunction(); }); RunFunctions = [];}); } createPlayer(); }()); </script>    </div>

A Kentucky county clerk who refuses to issue marriage licenses to gay couples just appealed to the Supreme Court

<p><div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table float_right"><div><div class="image on-image"><img src="https://static-ssl.businessinsider.com/image/55882f3269bedd4b661b9b62-2858-2144/gettyimages-138899515.jpg" alt="Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt " data-mce-source="Getty Images/Pascal Le Segretain " data-link="http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/angelina-jolie-and-brad-pitt-attend-the-cinema-for-peace-news-photo/138899515" /><p class="source"><span><a href="http://www.gettyimages.com/detail/news-photo/angelina-jolie-and-brad-pitt-attend-the-cinema-for-peace-news-photo/138899515">Getty Images/Pascal Le Segretain </a></span></p></div><p></p></div></div>Marriage has always been a gamble, but the modern game is harder and with higher stakes than ever before.</p><p><a href="http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2007.00393.x/abstract">Research has revealed</a>, for example, that people in a healthy marriage are some of the happiest couples in history.</p><p>Whereas those who are struggling in their marraige are more unhappy today than in the past.</p><p>When social psychologist <a href="http://faculty.wcas.northwestern.edu/eli-finkel/">Eli Finkel</a> sought to understand why marriage is more extreme at both ends today than in the past, he discovered something intriguing and disturbing:</p><p><strong>Marriages in the US are more challenging today than at any other time in our country's history.</strong></p><h2>The suffocation of marriage</h2><p>Finkel is a professor of social psychology at Northwestern University and is known for developing a surprisingly simple <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/21-minutes-could-save-your-marriage-2013-2">marriage-saving procedure</a>, which takes 21 minutes a year.</p><p>Together with his colleagues of the Relationships and Motivation LAB at Northwestern, Finkel and his team have gone on to publish several papers on what they call <a href="http://faculty.wcas.northwestern.edu/eli-finkel/documents/2014_FinkelHuiCarswellLarson_PsychInquiry-Copy.pdf">"the suffocation model of marriage in America."</a></p><p>In one of their <a href="http://faculty.wcas.northwestern.edu/eli-finkel/documents/InPress_FinkelCheungEmeryCarswellLarson_CDir.pdf">latest papers on this front</a>, they explain why - compared to previous generations - some of the defining qualities of today's marriages make it harder for couples to cultivate a flourishing relationship.</p><p><strong>The simple answer is that people today expect more out of their marriage. If these higher expectations are not met, it can suffocate a marriage to the point of destroying it.</strong></p><h2>The three models of marraige</h2><p><div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table float_right"><div><div class="image on-image"><img src="https://static-ssl.businessinsider.com/image/52b1d662ecad04be2fd6dfb1-900-605/brad pitt angelina jolie mr and mrs. smith.jpg" alt="brad pitt angelina jolie mr and mrs. smith" data-mce-source="Fox" /><p class="source"><span>Fox</span></p></div><p></p></div></div>Finkel, in an Opinion article in <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/15/opinion/sunday/the-all-or-nothing-marriage.html?hpw&amp;rref=opinion">The New York Times</a> summarizing their latest paper on this model, discusses the three distinct models of marriage that relationship psychologists refer to:</p><ul><li>institutional marriage (from the nation's founding until 1850)</li><li>companionate marriage (from 1851 to 1965)</li><li>self-expressive marriage (from 1965 onward)</li></ul><p>Before 1850, people were hardly walking down the aisle for love - the point of marriage was mostly for food produciton, shelter, and protection from violence.</p><p>People were often satisfied if they felt any emotional connection to their spouse at all, Finkel wrote.</p><p>Those norms changed quickly, however, when an increasing number of people left the farm to live and work in the city for higher pay and fewer hours.</p><p>With the luxury of more free time, Americans focused on what they wanted in a lifelong partner, namely companionship and love. But the counter-cultural attitude of the 1960s led Americans to think of marriage as an option instead of an essential step in life.</p><h2>Marriage today</h2><p><div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table float_right"><div><div class="image on-image"><img src="https://static-ssl.businessinsider.com/image/52e2ce05eab8eaeb70a0b30b-990-549/as-good-as-it-gets.jpg" alt="as good as it gets jack nicholson with puppy" border="0" /></div></div></div>This leads us to today's model, self-expressive marriage, wherein the average modern, married American is looking not only for love from their spouse but for a sense of personal fulfillment.</p><p>Finkel writes that this era's marriage ideal can be expressed in the simple quote "You make me want to be a better man," from James L. Brooks' 1997 film "As Good as It Gets."</p><p>These changes to marital expectations have been a mixed bag, Finkel argues.</p><p>"As Americans have increasingly looked to their marriage to help them meet idiosyncratic, self-expressive needs, the proportion of marriages that fall short of their expectations has grown, which has increased rates of marital dissatisfaction," <a href="http://faculty.wcas.northwestern.edu/eli-finkel/documents/InPress_FinkelCheungEmeryCarswellLarson_CDir.pdf">Finkel's team writes</a>, in their latest paper.</p><p>On the other hand, "those marriages that succeed in meeting these needs are particularly fulfilling, more so than the best marriages in earlier eras."</p><h2>The key to a successful marriage</h2><p data-para-count="654" data-total-count="5141"><div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table float_right"><div><div class="image on-image"><img src="https://static-ssl.businessinsider.com/image/52b1d5f4eab8eabc6f533c21-746-360/mr and mrs smith brad pitt angelina jolie.jpeg" alt="mr and mrs smith brad pitt angelina jolie" data-mce-source="Fox" /><p class="source"><span>Fox</span></p></div><p></p></div></div>So, what's the key to a successful, flourishing marriage?</p><p data-para-count="654" data-total-count="5141">Finkel and his colleagues describe <a href="http://faculty.wcas.northwestern.edu/eli-finkel/documents/2014_FinkelHuiCarswellLarson_PsychInquiry-Copy.pdf">three general options</a>:</p><ul><li>Don't look to your marriage alone for personal fulfillment. In addition to your spouse, use all resources available to you including friends, hobbies, and work.</li><li>If you want a lot from your marriage, then you have to give a lot, meaning that in order to meet their high expectations, couples must invest more time and psychological resources into their marriage.</li><li>And if neither of those options sound good, perhaps it's time to ask less of the marriage and adjust high expectations for personal fulfillment and self discovery.</li></ul><p>Other researchers, like sociologist Jeffrey Dew, support the notion that time is a crucial factor in sustaining a successful marriage.</p><p>Dew, who is a professor at the University of Virginia, <a href="http://sf.oxfordjournals.org/content/88/2/519.short">found that</a> Americans in 1975 spent, on average, 35 hours a week alone with their spouse while couples in 2003 spent 26 hours together.</p><p>Child-rearing couples in 1975 spent 13 hours a week together, alone, compared to couples in 2003 who spent 9 hours a week together. The <a href="http://www.thinkinghousewife.com/wp/2011/09/the-factors-behind-the-divorce-rate-in-america/">divorce rate in America</a> was 32.8% in 1970 and rose to 49.1% by 2000.</p><p>While that doesn't necessarily mean less time together led to divorce - or that the people who stayed together were happy - Finkel's research suggests that higher expectations and less investment in the relationship may be a toxic brew.</p>    <div class="margin-top">        <h3>NOW WATCH: <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/science-falling-love-relationship-smile-2016-1">There are scientifically proven ways to make someone fall in love with you</a></h3>        <div>            <div>    <script src="http://player.ooyala.com/v3/6e12e8b3387a44daacfb73afba25a76e"></script>    <div class="ooyala-video-player" data-video-autoplay="false" data-video-id="R1ODI3dTpoXtlD77UJxOS9v899xfusn0" data-player-variable="ooyalapopvideo" id="ooyalaplayer_popvideo" style="width:1280px;height:720px"></div>    <script>    if (typeof RunFunctions === 'undefined') { var RunFunctions = []; }     RunFunctions.push(function()    {         var ooyalapopvideo = OO.Player.create('ooyalaplayer_popvideo', 'R1ODI3dTpoXtlD77UJxOS9v899xfusn0',{ autoplay: 'false' });     });    </script>    <noscript><div>Please enable Javascript to watch this video</div></noscript></div>        </div>        <script>(function() { function createPlayer() { OO.ready(function() { RunFunctions.forEach(function(ooyalaFunction) { ooyalaFunction(); }); RunFunctions = [];}); } createPlayer(); }()); </script>    </div>

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