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<ul class="summary-list"><li>Emotional dysregulation is when you feel swept away by your emotional reactions.</li><li>A psychologist recommended a few simple exercises to try when you feel dysregulated.</li></ul>Everyone experiences intense emotional reactions from time to time. But if you find yourself feeling swept away by emotions to the point where it's impacting your relationships and quality of life, you may be struggling with <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/signs-symptoms-you-are-struggling-with-emotional-dysregulation-2023-9">emotional dysregulation</a>. Emotional dysregulation isn't just being hot-headed. Common in people with <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/symptoms-of-adhd-time-to-see-psychologist-2023-9">ADHD</a>, autism, and <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/borderline-personality-disorder">borderline personality disorder</a>, it'salso linked to other symptoms like <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/what-is-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-2023-7">rejection sensitivity</a> and impulsive behavior. But by learning to regulate your emotions, you can feel calmer around people and more grounded in your decisions,a therapist told Insider. Dr. <keyword id="18873564" type="General" weightage="20" keywordseo="lara-honos-webb" source="Orion">Lara Honos-Webb</keyword>, a clinical psychologist, <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/adhd-powerful-tips-tricks-hacks-for-coping-2023-9">previously told Insider</a> that <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/cognitive-behavioral-therapy">cognitive behavioral therapy</a> (<keyword id="207775" type="General" weightage="50" keywordseo="cbt" source="Orion">CBT</keyword>), <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/emotion-focused-therapy">emotion-focused therapy</a> (<keyword id="1112499" type="General" weightage="50" keywordseo="eft" source="Orion">EFT</keyword>), and exercise can all help with emotional dysregulation symptoms. But sometimes, a strong emotion hits us before we have time for an outdoor run or therapy session. That's where some simple thought exercises can come into play, and they're easy enough to do wherever you are. <keyword id="18873565" type="General" weightage="20" keywordseo="honos-webb" source="Orion">Honos-Webb</keyword> shared five quick, easy ways to self-regulate when it feels like your emotions are spiraling out of control. <h2>1. Picture yourself in the future</h2>Honos-Webb said that all these exercises promote "flexible thinking," or encouraging yourself to see things in a new light. For example, in the thick of intense feelings, it's difficult to remember that a hard moment isn't forever, but just a blip in your life. This exercise can help you remember that. "Imagine yourself in the future five, 10, or 20 years from now," Honos-Webb said. "What would that self say to you now about your current situation and emotional reaction?" For example, if you're overwhelmed at work and tempted to yell at your boss, do you think future-you will see it as sticking up for yourself? Or will you likely see it as an overreaction that puts your job at risk? <h2>2. Imagine a loved one's reaction</h2>To help you step outside of yourself more, Honos-Webb suggested imagining the perspective of someone in your life who truly cares about you, such as a family member, close friend, or partner. If they saw you abruptly exit a group chat because no one responded to your text about hanging out, would this person agree with you? Or would they ask more questions and encourage you to not assume the worst? <h2>3. Give yourself a set time to feel everything</h2>Sometimes, there's just no getting around it: you feel devastated, and need to let it out. To keep big feelings from taking over your entire day, Honos-Webb recommended grabbing a journal and setting a timer for 15 minutes. "Give yourself permission to write everything you feel and then commit to only diving into that emotion for 15 minutes," she said. If you need to revisit that same feeling, you can do it for 15 minutes the next day. It helps you notice the feeling, but practice setting boundaries around how often you let it consume you. <h2>4. Change the negativity channel</h2>Honos-Webb said that emotional dysregulation often leads to "discounting the positives." Instead, you only focus on the things that are going wrong. In an exercise she calls "changing the channel," you can try to acknowledge that you feel bad while also pushing yourself to look for alternate, positive perspectives. For example, let's say you were rejected from your top-choice of graduate school programs. Once you've processed the disappointment of being rejected, you can move on to different ways of looking at it. Maybe it would've been too expensive anyway, or maybe you were unsure about that life path and now you get to explore another one. Honos-Webb said this practice aids in "shifting emotional focus after processing distressing feelings," so that you can find solutions instead of remaining stuck. <h2>5. Engage in mindfulness</h2>Honos-Webb said that mindfulness, which "involves self-observation and self-compassion," is a key practice for emotional regulation. Regularly meditating, even for short bursts of time, can teach you to accept your feelings as they come up, which reduces self-blaming and the intensity of your emotional pain. To practice this, try meditating once a day for just five minutes. After a week, lengthen it to 10 minutes, then 15 minutes. If you need help, there are many <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/guides/tech/free-meditation-apps">free meditation apps</a> that can walk you through guided meditations, or you can even <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/chatgpt-helped-me-start-a-meditation-routine-for-stress-relief-2023-9">ask ChatGPT</a> to write a meditation schedule for you.

5 easy mindfulness exercises to do at your desk to help regulate your emotions, according to a psychologist

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is often defined by distraction and impulsivity.</li><li>However, there are many other symptoms that make up this condition.</li></ul>For people who often got in trouble as kids for daydreaming or fidgeting too much, getting diagnosed with <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/adult-adhd-symptoms">attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)</a> can feel like they finally have an explanation. Characterized by <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/what-it-is-like-to-live-with-severe-adhd-2017-3">forgetfulness</a>, disorganization, and impulsiveness, ADHD can make it difficult to perform tasks such as studying, work, and household chores. Even social interactions can be challenging, as friendship requires listening and recalling details about other people — something that can be a struggle for people with ADHD. And <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/adhd-diagnosis-took-25-years-despite-symptoms-now-feel-better-2022-2">diagnosing ADHD</a> can be tricky, especially when many ADHD symptoms overlap with the symptoms of other conditions like<a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/psychologist-with-autism-adhd-wasnt-diagnosed-until-late-thirties-2023-9">autism</a> and anxiety. <a target="_blank" href="https://www.addisagift.com/">Dr. Lara Honos-Webb</a>, a clinical psychologist specializing in ADHD, said that simply going down a list of ADHD symptoms — like when you take an online test — isn't enough to rule out other diagnoses, like depression, autism, or anxiety. And many people with ADHD may also have multiple other conditions, creating "a puzzle to sort out the core issue," she said. <keyword id="18873565" type="General" weightage="20" keywordseo="honos-webb" source="Orion">Honos-Webb</keyword> spoke with Insider about some core symptoms of ADHD that warrant seeking a professional opinion.While there can be overlap with other disorders, she said if you experience these symptoms frequently, it increases the likelihood that you may have ADHD. <h2>1. You constantly miss important information or deadlines</h2>In the age of smartphones, social media, and endless notifications, anyone can zone out. But Honos-Webb said ADHD is characterized by more serious consequences, such as getting poor grades, being held back in school, or missing multiple meetings a week. "It always comes back to that you're not capable of meeting the goals that you have set for yourself or are required for you," she said. People with ADHD can try very hard to focus, and still get into trouble. <h2>2. You can't help but interrupt or talk over people</h2>Depending on your upbringing, it might be normal to talk over each other, and not all cultures view overlapping conversations as interrupting. "But when you can't control it in situations where there will be negative consequences," Honos-Webb said it could be a sign of ADHD. For example, you might try really hard not to blurt out sentences or cut someone off, but still find yourself doing it. <h2>3. As hard as you try, you really struggle to listen</h2>Honos-Webb said some of the more subtle symptoms of ADHD tie into inattentiveness, such as an inability to listen. She said it might be more obvious in school, because missing information usually leads to failed tests or disciplinary action. But this symptom can be harder to recognize in adults with ADHD, who may nod along in conversation but not necessarilybe able to recall the details. <h2>4. You can't regulate your emotions</h2>Emotional dysregulation is a "fairly new development in the understanding of ADHD," Honos-Webb said, and a part of ADHD that is believed to cause other symptoms like impulsivity. Examples of emotional dysregulation include getting swept up in a rage or rashly interpreting benign behavior <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/what-is-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-2023-7">as a sign of rejection</a>. As a result, you might cut a friend off in the moment, only to later regret it. <h2>5. You often put things off</h2>Honos-Webb said that another subtle ADHD sign is frequent procrastination or simply not finishing things. It can translate to disorganization at work or even <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/adhd-hacks-for-meal-prepping-consistently-2023-9">putting off eating</a>, because you can't get around to doing chores or tackling a long-overdue assignment. <h2>6. You compulsively lie to get out of trouble</h2>Because people with ADHD can often get in trouble at school, work, or in their interpersonal relationships, a common side effect is chronic lying, Honos-Webb said. The lying can be about grades on a test, or that you were really listening to every word — anything to prevent more feelings of shame and guilt. <h2>7. Your symptoms come up in your relationships</h2>Honos-Webb said that when people with ADHD get married or have kids, their symptoms can become more pronounced. A romantic partner might be put off by tardiness or zoning out, "so this symptom intensity may have greater consequences and feel like it's being noticed more often," she said. With children, the already difficult task of childrearing can be even harder if you have ADHD. Now,on top of cleaning up after yourself andadhering to a schedule, you have to do the same for young children. Plus, she noted, there's "the genetic likelihood that one or more of your kids could have ADHD if you have it." <h2>8. You had ADHD symptoms as a child</h2>For an accurate diagnosis,Honos-Webb noted that it's crucial to have displayed symptoms in childhood, before age 13, as <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/scientists-say-brain-scans-show-signs-of-adhd-in-children-2022-11">ADHD is a neurodevelopmental disorder</a>. Even if you get diagnosed in adulthood, clues like poor test scores in elementary school can help rule out other disorders or conditions. For example, someone who experienced a traumatic event as a young adult might exhibit symptoms like forgetfulness or emotional dysregulation, but that doesn't mean they have ADHD, she said. <h2>9. You have symptoms in more than one area in your life</h2>Another way to know if it's time to see a professional is if you display <keyword id="18873563" type="General" weightage="50" keywordseo="adhdsymptoms" source="Orion">ADHDsymptoms</keyword> in at least two areas of your life, Honos-Webb said. A person who is only <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/work-productively-with-adhd-remote-work-bodydoubling-monotasking-2023-3">losing focus when at work</a>, but otherwise attentive at home and with friends, may not have ADHD. Sometimes, ADHD-like symptoms like fidgeting or drifting off can come from circumstances like genuine boredom or worrying about a bigger issue in your life. But if you feel "chaotic and scattered" at work and at happy hour, it might be time to seek out a formal ADHD screening.

If you have these 9 symptoms you might have ADHD, according to a psychologist

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Emotional dysregulation is defined by struggling to gain control over intense feelings.</li><li>It's an overlapping trait in disorders like ADHD, autism, and borderline personality disorder.</li></ul>Most people have a moment in their lives where they wish they reacted better. But if you find yourself frequently blowing up, there might be more going on than being "hot-headed." It could be that you're dealing with emotional dysregulation. Broadly speaking, emotional dysregulation is "great difficulty with or an inability to gain control over intense feelings," <a target="_blank" href="http://www.drcarlamessenger.com/">Dr. Carla M. Shuman</a>, a clinical psychologist, told Insider. She said it's a key trait in common psychiatric and developmental disorders like <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/symptoms-of-adhd-time-to-see-psychologist-2023-9">attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder </a>(ADHD), autism, and<a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/women-misdiagnosed-with-bpd-have-autism-difference-2023-9"> borderline personality disorder </a>(<keyword id="172783" type="General" weightage="50" keywordseo="bpd" source="Orion">BPD</keyword>). While ADHD, BPD, and autism are different diagnoses, <keyword id="18943544" type="General" weightage="80" keywordseo="shuman" source="Orion">Shuman</keyword> said, they all impact an area of the brain called the prefrontal cortex, which controls our impulses and emotions. Shuman and <a target="_blank" href="https://www.addisagift.com/">Dr. Lara Honos-Webb</a>, a clinical psychologist, shared five of the most common signs of emotional dysregulation. <h2>1. Your reactions feel disproportionate to the trigger</h2>While it's healthy to experience and express anger and frustration, Shuman said that what makes emotional dysregulation different is "the person's reaction is way more intense than the situation calls for." For example, if someone cuts you in line, it's understandable to be agitated or to call the person out. But if you're emotionally dysregulated, Shuman said you might start screaming or cursing them out — even after the person already left. <h2>2. It takes you a while to calm down</h2>When you're emotionally dysregulated negative feelings linger, and you don't quickly bounce back from a racing heartbeat or spinning thoughts. For someone who struggles with emotional dysregulation,getting back to a baseline state "can take away a lot of time from their day," Shuman said. Obviously, there's no universal, agreed-upon time to get over an annoyance. But if you find yourself frequently being swept up in your moods, to the point where they distract you from your work, social life, or responsibilities, emotional dysregulation might be to blame. <h2>3. Your reactions damage your relationships</h2>Besides disrupting your own life, emotional dysregulation can seriously wreck or impair your relationships. Shuman said that people around an emotionally dysregulated person often feel like "they're walking on eggshells because they never know when the person is going to go off." This dynamic often leads to issues at work, fractured family relationships, distant friendships, and breakups. <h2>4. You're frequently embarrassed by your actions</h2>Shuman said that even though "they may try to justify their behavior," emotionally dysregulated people almost always feel embarrassed, ashamed, or remorseful after a blow-up. A big clue is if you find yourself often wondering why you reacted the way you did or worrying how others perceive you now that things have settled. <h2>5. You avoid things because you're scared of how you'll react</h2>Emotional dysregulation isn't always defined by yelling. In fact, Shuman said, "avoidance is a huge part of trying to prevent dysregulation." This might include dodging situations where you worry you might lose emotional control. Honos-Webb said that this "fear and self-doubt can lead a person to avoid social interactions," such as dating. She added that it can also lead to a cycle of withdrawing from others, which leads to feeling left out. Eventually, this can increase your <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/what-is-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-2023-7">sensitivity to perceived rejection</a>, which can prompt more emotional dysregulation. Shuman said that treatment for emotional dysregulation often involves prescribed medication which can help make it easier to adapt coping strategies. Specialized therapies, like <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/dialectical-behavior-therapy">dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT)</a>, <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/cognitive-behavioral-therapy">cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)</a>, and <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/emotion-focused-therapy">emotion-focused therapy (EFT</a>) can also be helpful, according to Shuman and Honos-Webb.

Signs you might be struggling with emotional dysregulation, according to 2 therapists

<ul class="summary-list"><li>A psychologist said that some common ADHD symptoms may not actually be due to ADHD.</li><li>Inattentiveness, hyperactivity, and impulsivity can all be symptoms of other disorders. </li></ul>While ADHD consists of a <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/signs-symptoms-you-are-struggling-with-emotional-dysregulation-2023-9">wide array of symptoms</a>, some of the most commonly talked-about ones include struggling to focus and jumping from task to task.But going off those broad symptoms alone can lead to a misdiagnosis — especially if you're solely relying on what you read online.<a target="_blank" href="https://www.addisagift.com/">Dr. Lara Honos-Webb</a>, a clinical psychologist specializing in ADHD, previously told Insider that one of the most important aspects of ADHD is that you've displayed symptoms since childhood. Otherwise, it's hard to know if symptoms like <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/symptoms-of-adhd-time-to-see-psychologist-2023-9">inattentiveness or hyperactivity</a> are truly from ADHD, or if they're from other psychological or neurological disorders.It's one of the reasons she suggests getting a formal <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/adult-adhd-symptoms">ADHD diagnosis</a> from a medical professional, who can help establish whether you've had symptoms for years, or if they're a more recent development."That's why a symptom checklist for ADHD is problematic," she told Insider, noting the popularity of Instagram infographics and quick online ADHD quizzes.Honos-Webb spoke to Insider about three <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/adhd-diagnosis-took-25-years-despite-symptoms-now-feel-better-2022-2">common signs of ADHD</a> that can overlap with other disorders, leading to a potential misdiagnosis or incomplete diagnosis.<h2>Inattentiveness</h2>One of the biggest symptoms of ADHD is <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/parenting-a-child-with-adhd-helped-me-face-my-diagnosis-2023-1">distractibility</a> or inattentiveness — something Honos-Webb said isn't actually unique to ADHD."There are many diagnoses that have 'difficulty concentrating' as a symptom," she said.For example, <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/subtle-signs-you-might-have-autism-according-to-psychologist-2023-10">an autistic person</a> may lose focus, but it could be the result of getting distracted if they're experiencing sensory issues or are <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/college-freshman-ucla-autism-social-burn-out-2023-3">struggling to mask</a>.She also said that having mood disorders, such as anxiety, depression, and <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/bipolar-disorder-forced-me-to-drop-out-of-college-2023-9">bipolar disorder</a>, often result in an inability to focus.Or if someone has <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/how-ptsd-can-affect-your-body-2020-6">PTSD</a>, she said, "you can imagine if you're being flooded with intrusive images that it comes with a difficulty concentrating because of the trauma."<h2>Hyperactivity</h2><a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/types-of-adhd">Hyperactivity</a> is another major symptom of ADHD, <a target="_blank" href="https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/adhd/diagnosis.html">according to the DSM-5</a>. In children under 16, it can look like running around a lot, getting up from their seat, or talking excessively.But Honos-Webb said that hyperactivity is also a symptom of autism, and that <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/bipolar-symptoms">people with bipolar disorder</a> who experience manic symptoms can also appear hyperactive.<h2>Impulsivity</h2>Another ADHD symptom is <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/tiktok-intrusive-thoughts-trend-debate-meaning-expert-2023-1">impulsivity</a>, which can overlap with other disorders like <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/borderline-personality-disorder">borderline personality disorder</a>, Honos-Webb said.The mood swings that people with BPD experience can resemble erratic or spontaneous behavior, but Honos-Webb said there are some differences between BPD and ADHD impulsivity. She said "the reactivity of mood is key" to being diagnosed with BPD, and people with BPD also often experience deep depressive phases as well. She also said that BPD is "more of a <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/women-misdiagnosed-with-bpd-have-autism-difference-2023-9">relationship disorder</a>" in that mood swings are more likely to be caused by attachment issues.Honos-Webb said that it's also possible to have multiple disorders without realizing it. About 50-70% of people with autism <a target="_blank" href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8918663/">also have ADHD</a>, for example. And some patients who have <a target="_blank" href="https://chadd.org/attention-article/adhd-ptsd-or-both/">ADHD may also have PTSD</a>, which can exacerbate symptoms.She said seeing a professional can give you a fuller idea of what your symptoms are and how to work with them.

3 common ADHD symptoms that might actually be something else, according to a psychologist

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Managing ADHD symptoms can be challenging even with medication.</li><li>A psychologist shared a few ways to cope with ADHD symptoms.</li></ul>Even with medication, managing symptoms of <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/adult-adhd-symptoms">attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)</a> can be challenging. For many people with ADHD, developing coping strategies is the key to reducing symptoms like distraction or negative self-talk.<a target="_blank" href="https://www.addisagift.com/">Dr. Lara Honos-Webb</a>, a clinical psychologist specializing in ADHD, told Insider that, "increasingly, emotional regulation is a key part of treatment for both children and adults."According to her, emotional dysregulation could cause several <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/symptoms-of-adhd-time-to-see-psychologist-2023-9">ADHD symptoms</a> like impulsivity and <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/what-is-rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-2023-7">rejection sensitivity</a>, so coping strategies like identifying your feelings and self-soothing can help reduce these symptoms.Some of these strategies, like exercising and spending time in nature, can also help with other ADHD symptoms including boosting memory function.Honos-Webb shared four simple hacks that can be helpful for people with ADHD.<h2>1. Learn to name your emotions</h2>One of the best ways to deal with emotional dysregulation is to calmly label your feelings as they come up, according to Honos-Webb."The more precise the emotions, the more we can contain them," she said. For example, feeling "really mad" could actually be "devastated" or "a little bit peeved."This practice is called <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/emotion-focused-therapy">emotion-focused therapy (EFT)</a> and is also used to treat other disorders like depression, anxiety, and PTSD.Once you understand your own feelings, it becomes easier to know what you actually need in the moment. It might mean <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/psychologist-with-autism-adhd-wasnt-diagnosed-until-late-thirties-2023-9">changing up your work environment</a>, eating a snack, or calling a friend."You're taking care of yourself rather than beating yourself up for these symptoms," Honos-Webb said.<h2>2. Look back on your previous successes</h2>A common side effect of <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/adhd-diagnosis-helped-me-understand-my-messy-house-2022-5">living with ADHD </a>is feeling shame over things like disorganization and zoning out."It's hard to get motivated if you lack confidence in yourself," Honos-Webb said. Because people with ADHD can enter a cycle of self-defeat, she said it's crucial to make positive self-talk a habit.This is a part of <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/cognitive-behavioral-therapy">cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)</a>, which focuses on challenging negative thoughts. CBT is considered <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/treatments/natural-adhd-treatment">one of the best treatments for ADHD</a> outside of medication.When you're feeling discouraged, Honos-Webb recommends thinking about the last time you were successful, especially if it helps you identify what you can do now."It's helping you to shift from a worst-case scenario to 'what are some reasons that I can succeed at this?'" she said.For some, that might mean shifting how they view their ADHD from a deficit to an asset, whether it's <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/woman-used-her-adhd-train-for-10k-race-in-weeks-2022-7">hyperfocusing on a new hobby</a> or <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/adhd-makes-me-a-better-parent-to-my-daughter-2022-7">understanding your ADHD child better</a>.She said even comparing your progress in the past two years can be a useful boost when you need it most.<h2>3. Get enough exercise during the week</h2>Honos-Webb said the research on ADHD benefits from exercise is incredibly powerful, with <a target="_blank" href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S2095254614001252">studies showing</a> that working out improves your brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), a protein that is crucial for boosting your memory and mood.Luckily, you don't have to run triathlons to get the benefits of exercise. Experts say the goal is <a target="_blank" href="https://www.insider.com/health-benefits-of-daily-exercise-two-days-week-study-2023-7">150 minutes per week</a> of moderate exercise, which would break down to about 21 minutes a day.<h2>4. Prioritize outdoor time</h2>Another simple, science-backed solution for improving emotional dysregulation caused by ADHD is making sure you go outside often enough, Honos-Webb said. According to her, being around nature improves our attention and mood. Experts also say it can also <a target="_blank" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/why-spending-more-time-outside-is-healthy-2017-7">boost short-term memory and reduce stress</a>.Making sure you go for a daily walk or weekly hike "can actually go a long way in maintaining the highest level of success or productivity that we want for ourselves," Honos-Webb said.

Small but powerful science-backed hacks for people with ADHD, according to a psychologist

<ul class="summary-list"><li>"Tokophobia," a fear of <keyword id="6357793" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="pregnancy">pregnancy</keyword>, can lead to worse birth outcomes or prevent people from fulfilling life dreams.</li><li>Working through your fears with a professional can help you feel more prepared and less afraid.</li><li>Pregnant with questions? Submit your question to Anna anonymously <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16v1UBk95TpW3SuH-G3DYa4l52nGT3aipjXmLwcy-J7w">here</a> for nonjudgmental answers.</li></ul>Dear Anna,Ever since I witnessed my nephew's birth at age 16, I've been terrified of pregnancy and labor. The delivery was quite the ordeal: The mom's water broke before she got to the hospital, and she didn't have time for an epidural. She developed preeclampsia. They did an episiotomy and used forceps to pull the baby out.I recognize this is not what happens with every birth, but it was the one I was introduced to and I can't unsee it. Now I'm in my mid-30s, newly married, and eager to start a family. I love kids and don't worry about actual <keyword id="6381498" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="parenting">parenting</keyword>. But the idea of pregnancy and birth disgust me. I'd consider adoption if it wasn't so darn expensive. What can I do? - Beth, Baltimore Dear Beth, That does sound like a traumatic introduction to <keyword id="31250" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="childbirth">childbirth</keyword>, no wonder you're still shaken. Your brain is just doing its job to protect you against something it's perceived as threatening. Can you blame it? Plus, as Maryland-based therapist <a href="https://www.openlinescounseling.com/">Melissa Weinberg</a> told me, it's understandable to be afraid of something full of unknowns, historically dangerous (and still <a href="https://www.insider.com/dr-chaniece-wallace-died-in-childbirth-black-women-maternal-mortality-2020-10">more risky among people of color</a>), painful, and uncomfortable. But people don't often air these fears because, sadly, there can be a lot of shame around not feeling enthusiastic about something society makes us believe "should" come naturally, said Weinberg, who specializes in <keyword id="15418" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="anxiety">anxiety</keyword> and wrote about the fear of pregnancy and childbirth for <a href="https://www.psychotherapy.net/blog/title/tokophobia-recognizing-the-multifaceted-fear-of-pregnancy-and-childbirth">Psychology Today</a>. In reality, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3830168">research</a> suggests anywhere between 20% and 78% of pregnant women have some fears or anxiety around pregnancy and childbirth. And in non-pregnant women, <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1742837/pdf/v079p00505.pdf">one study</a> showed 13% said fears were strong enough for them to delay or avoid pregnancy altogether. But "the more you avoid [facing your fears,]" Weinberg said, "the more you reinforce them." So let's start facing yours now. <h2>This fear, also known as tokophobia, can become a self-fulfilling prophecy</h2>A fear of childbirth is sometimes called tokophobia, or it can be appear as depression, anxiety, or post-traumatic stress disorder in cases where it is triggered by a <a href="https://health.usnews.com/health-news/health-wellness/articles/2013/03/21/how-to-handle-extreme-stress">traumatic event</a> like an earlier life-threatening childbirth experience.It can also look like OCD, Weinberg said, where people avoid sex and compulsively try to reassure themselves they're not pregnant. Some of the common fears she hears among clients with some level of tokophobia is that they won't be able to handle pregnancy, especially the discomfort and body changes. "They often feel disgusted by the idea of something growing inside them and hate the idea of being trapped and out of control," Weinberg said. Some may even feel appalled just watching a TV show with a pregnant character. Some clients ruminate on all that could go wrong, and some experience physiological reactions like shortness of breath and an increased heart rate just thinking about it. If you don't address the fear before becoming pregnant, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy: A fear of pregnancy and childbirth is <a href="https://health.usnews.com/wellness/articles/2016-08-22/do-you-have-a-phobia-of-pregnancy-or-childbirth">linked</a> to higher rates of emergency cesarean deliveries, induced and augmented labor, long labors, and <a href="https://health.usnews.com/health-news/patient-advice/articles/2016-04-20/the-darker-side-of-pregnancy">postpartum depression</a>. It can also prevent you from seeking necessary medical appointments, or to obsessively call your healthcare team. Not mention the toll it can take on your relationship. "If the partner of someone struggling with tokophobia is eager to have a baby, there can be fights, tensions, and resentment within the relationship," Weinberg said. <h2>Get help to learn how to manage your negative thoughts, without expecting them to totally vanish </h2>Weinberg recommends rallying a crew of family and friends who know how you're feeling and can be patient with you. Being open with a trusted healthcare provider is critical too, as they can put your specific fears into perspective and dispel misconceptions that may be fueling them. The more knowledgeable you are about pregnancy and childbirth, the less intimidating it becomes. Weinberg also suggests working with a therapist trained in acceptance and commitment therapy, which focuses on mindfulness and behavior change strategies, or exposure therapy, which is what it sounds like: facing your fears. "As you get more and more exposure to it, your anxiety diminishes," Lara Honos-Webb, a clinical psychologist in Walnut Creek, California, <a href="https://health.usnews.com/wellness/articles/2016-08-22/do-you-have-a-phobia-of-pregnancy-or-childbirth">told me for a story on this topic back in 2016</a>. There are <a href="https://www.fearfreechildbirth.com/">even classes</a>, she said, that require women to repeatedly imagine giving birth.The key is to find a provider "who won't do too much co-ruminating or disputing of thoughts and worries, but help you practice getting some distance from your thoughts and making values-based decisions," Weinberg said. Finally, Weinberg said, don't expect your fears to vanish. "If you're waiting to be completely free of anxiety before trying to conceive, that's probably unrealistic. And that's OK." "It's much more reasonable and achievable to build skills like tolerance for discomfort and uncertainty and grounding yourself in the present than it is to make all your fears go away and feel 'ready,'" she said. "You can be afraid and still takes steps towards having the life you want." Senior <keyword id="6354750" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="health">health</keyword> reporter Anna Medaris Miller is here to answer all of your questions about pregnancy- especially the ones you don't want to bring to your doctor or even friends. As a journalist covering women's health for more than a decade, she'll mine the research, consult a range of experts, and give you the key takeaways. <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/16v1UBk95TpW3SuH-G3DYa4l52nGT3aipjXmLwcy-J7w">Submit your question anonymously to Anna here</a>.

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