<ul class="summary-list"><li>I recently <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-lose-weight-fat-gained-lifestyle-not-changed-lockdown-2020-10">gained weight</a> during the pandemic but am trying not to be hard on myself about it.</li><li>Realizing that many of my pre-quarantine <a href="https://www.insider.com/make-clothing-fit-better-2018-9">clothes no longer fit</a> was difficult to accept.</li><li>Practicing <keyword id="10168147" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="body-acceptance">body acceptance</keyword> and mindful eating habits are two ways I'm addressing my <keyword id="24800" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="weight-gain">weight gain</keyword>.</li></ul>Ever since middle school, I've always been someone who's struggled with their <keyword id="17819" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="60" keywordseo="weight">weight</keyword>.Over the years, my weight has continuously fluctuated. I've gained weight, lost a few pounds, gained some back, and so on. Three years ago, I lost over 30 pounds and reached what I described then, problematically, as my "goal weight," which I managed to maintain until last year.<h2>Last year, I realized that I wasn't as active or mindful about my eating habits as I used to be</h2>When the coronavirus pandemic began to shut down businesses and sent me into a working-from-home schedule, I became less active. Daily meal-prepped salads soon gave way to ordered-in fast food. Even walking to the subway back and forth every workday kept me active prior to the pandemic. Now, a whole week will go by before I've even stepped outside. Food has become one of my few comforts and entertainments in the pandemic and eating healthy is a constant struggle. In essence, my <keyword id="15482" type="COMPANY" weightage="60" keywordseo="lifestyle">lifestyle</keyword> completely shifted.I spoke to <a href="https://www.rachaelhartleynutrition.com/">Rachael Hartley</a>, a registered dietitian, nutritionist, and owner of Rachael Hartley Nutrition who specializes in promoting intuitive eating and non-diet approaches to eating and enjoying food, about how the pandemic has affected eating habits and nutrition.Rachael Hartley recommends that during this time, people don't take themselves, or their diets, so seriously."The pandemic has thrown most people's lives into some level of chaos," <a href="https://www.insider.com/healthier-italian-dinner-options-takeout-2020-4">she told Insider</a>. "A lot of times, that is going to be reflective in behaviors around food. In terms of what struggles people are going through in the pandemic, it really varies. For some, it's figuring out how to prepare food at home. For others, it's been a huge trigger for disordered eating, especially with all the '<keyword id="58679" type="COMPANY" weightage="60" keywordseo="Quarantine">quarantine</keyword> 15' memes and people pushing on social media their pandemic 'get fit' plans. How the pandemic has affected people's eating patterns is just as varied as how the pandemic has affected people's social lives and financial situations."It might come as no surprise that because of the lifestyle changes many of us are facing, I gained some weight.I do not know exactly how much weight I've gained. One part of struggling with body image issues and weight fluctuation has always been scale monitoring. When I was at the height of one of my usually toxic "weight loss journeys," I would weigh myself every day. Now, I make it a point to not use a scale and instead base my <keyword id="6354750" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="health">health</keyword> around what I feel and how my clothes fit.There are some pros and cons of living this way. While it does relieve some weight gain anxiety by not knowing exactly how much I've gained, it also meant that my weight gain really hit me all at once when I could no longer fit into any of my jeans.At the start of the pandemic, I was wearing leggings and sweatpants nearly every day. However, when it finally came time to try on some of my pre-pandemic jeans, I was shocked to see that they no longer fit. As in, none of my dozen pairs of jeans could even get over my thighs. <h2>A range of emotions flashed through my head - sadness, anger, and embarrassment, to name a few - when I realized none of my jeans fit</h2>However, I decided then and there that I wouldn't let a pair of jeans dictate my happiness or my self-worth. "Clothing can be one of the biggest triggers for my clients," Rachael Hartley told Insider. "We use clothes to express ourselves. That's why it's important to have clothes that can change with your body, whether that's a stretchier-waist pant or comfortable dresses. Wearing clothes that feel physically comfortable on your body is a smart decision for people to make, in or out of quarantine."I've gained weight during the pandemic, but I refuse to be hard on myself or let it affect how I view myself. Here's why.The coronavirus has killed more than 400,000 people in the US alone, and even more worldwide. Millions of people are currently out of work. People are missing their family members and friends, either due to death or physical separation due to social distancing, and experiencing stress as a result. In the face of all this devastation, anxiety, and sadness, it's important to remember that simply being alive and healthy is a blessing at the end of 2020. My body, no matter what it looks like, has gotten me through the past year relatively unscathed. Despite the pounds I may have gained, that is certainly something to be thankful for.<h2>Lifestyle changes and increased stress are two reasons I've gained weight - both of which are normal in a global pandemic</h2>After I realized I had gained weight, I started to consider picking back up the <a href="https://www.insider.com/healthy-habits-that-i-will-continue-after-coronavirus-lockdown-2020-5">healthy habits I had at the beginning of quarantine</a>. Things like drinking water, doing a little light exercise, journaling, and getting outside make all the difference in my wellbeing, but it can be so hard to find the motivation to do them.Read more: <a href="https://www.insider.com/healthy-habits-that-i-will-continue-after-coronavirus-lockdown-2020-5">I've picked up healthy, positive habits during the coronavirus lockdown - here are the ones I hope to continue with after restrictions are lifted</a>For me, practicing healthy habits and self-care is not about weight loss - it's about fueling my body and making it the healthiest it can be in this pandemic. It's not about the number on the scale or dieting - it's about trying to feel good about my body and myself despite the overwhelming state of the world."If your self-care behaviors are a bit wonky right now, it can take a lot to adjust to this massive lifestyle change we're all in right now," Hartley said. "If you're looking at trying to get back into more health-permitting habits to take care of yourself, that's wonderful. However, you can do that without looking at a number on the scale or seeing weight as a problem you're trying to fix or solve.""A lot of people now working from home are working through lunch or sleeping in later," she said. "As simple as it is, I encourage my clients to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner with snacks between meals. It's totally okay to eat while watching the latest Netflix shows but keep in mind mindful eating skills as well. Pause, check in with your food, see how it tastes, and check if you're satiated or not.""I also encourage people to incorporate gentle movement into their days, whether that's a walk around the block or an exercise you enjoy," she said. "When you're feeling depressed or lonely, it's hard to have that level of motivation to do something more energy-inducing. Simply getting outside is a good enough goal for most people, and you'll likely feel better after achieving that goal."<h2>I'm not being hard on myself about gaining weight</h2>Instead, I am taking control of what habits I can change or bring back to make me the happiest and healthiest "me" possible, while still accepting and loving my body for what it is right now and allowing myself those "comfort foods" in moderation."Food is one way we can soothe and cope with our emotions," Rachael Hartley said. "Right now, we're in a situation where a lot of us don't have our usual coping mechanisms. We're relying on food a bit more, and that's okay. We're just surviving a time that none of us were mentally prepared for.""If we're able to put together a really delicious meal at the end of a stressful day, absent the fear of weight gain and absent fatphobia, the idea of comfort eating is not a problematic thing," she continued. "I encourage people to look at the situation and be thankful they have food there for them to help them get through this time. Having appreciation and normalization of food helps people normalize behaviors with food."As for the advice Rachael Hartley would give to people who have gained weight during the pandemic and are feeling uncomfortable with that, she explains it's all about reframing your outlook around weight loss and gain."Gaining weight isn't a bad thing," Hartley said. "Bodies change all throughout life for all different reasons and getting through a global pandemic may be one of the reasons your body size changes during life. The only reason it is framed as a negative is because we live in a culture that looks down upon weight gain as letting go of yourself or not caring for yourself.""It's okay if you gain weight. There is nothing wrong with that. Let's never feed into this idea that weight gain is the worst thing that can happen to you."

You shouldn't be hard on yourself for gaining weight during the pandemic - here's why

<ul><li>The ₹2,244 crore <keyword id="8546323" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="20" keywordseo="CAMS-IPO">CAMS IPO</keyword> was subscribed 82% on the first day. </li><li>The company has fixed the price band for its public offer at ₹1,229-1,230 per share.</li><li>Business Insider caught up with the CAMS President and the CEO Anuj Kumar and the CFO M Somasundaram in an exclusive chat to understand their business and growth plans going ahead. </li></ul>There has been a rush in the primary market this month. The successful IPOs last week — Happiest Minds Tech and Route Mobile IPO have already set the trend for the forthcoming IPO <keyword id="416894" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="20" keywordseo="Computer-Age-Management-Services">Computer Age Management Services</keyword> (CAMS). This technology-driven financial services and infrastructure provider to the Indian asset management companies (AMC), is off to a good start. The ₹2,244 crore CAMS IPO was subscribed 82% on the first day. The IPO received bids for 10.5 million shares against an offer size of over 12.8 million shares. The IPO will remain open for subscription until tomorrow (September 23). Here are the <keyword id="9963419" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="20" keywordseo="CAMS-IPO-details">CAMS IPO details</keyword>: <table style="border-width: initial; border-style: none;"></colgroup><tbody><tr><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">IPO </td><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">Specifics </td></tr><tr><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">Opening date </td><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">September 21 </td></tr><tr><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">Closing date </td><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">September 23 </td></tr><tr><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">IPO target </td><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">₹2,240 -₹2,242 crore </td></tr><tr><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">Price Band </td><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">₹1,229-1,230 per share </td></tr><tr><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">Minimum bid </td><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;"> 12 equity shares </td></tr></tbody></table> CAMS is looking to raise ₹2,242 crore from its initial public offering. And this journey to an IPO has taken 30 years. Business Insider caught up with the CAMS President and the CEO Anuj Kumar and the CFO M Somasundaram, in an exclusive chat, to understand their business and growth plans going ahead. <div type="image" title="Anuj" msid="78198916" hostid="261" caption="&amp;lt;p&amp;gt;Anuj Kumar, CAMS CEO&amp;lt;/p&amp;gt;"></div> <keyword id="9963417" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="20" keywordseo="What-does-CAMS-do">What does CAMS do</keyword>? CAMS is India’s largest mutual fund transfer agency that provides MF services and statements to asset management companies. The CEO explained since mutual funds in India are “completely outsourced on the liability operation side.” Their job is to maintain KYC for MF investors, record keeping, risk management, compliance, distributor service, commissioning among others to name a few. The company holds nearly 70% of the market share in the mutual funds RTA segment. “We have other businesses as well, but this is the core franchise that we have created over the last two and a half decades,” CAMS CEO Anuj Kumar added. The company also has other businesses as well, but mutual funds registrar and transfer agent offering forms the core of its business. “Apart from MF, we do work for the banks and non-banking institutions for insurance companies, as insurance depository participants. And, then we have a payment portal CAMS pay, and we support AIF’s and PMS in the servicing onboarding that kind of work,” he said. <div type="image" title="CAMS" msid="78198669" hostid="261"></div> Growth plans: The company is looking to diversify its revenue According to the company’s <a href="http://www.investmentbank.kotak.com/downloads/computer-age-management-services-limited-RHP.pdf">red herring prospectus</a> nearly 87% of company’s revenue comes from Mutual Funds, out of which nearly 70% comes from the top 5 clients of the company, the CFO M Somasundaram revealed during the interview. “Think of the largest mutual funds in the country— SBI Mutual Funds, HDFC, ICICI, Birla and Kotak— these five will form top clients for us,” Kumar said. <table style="border-width: initial; border-style: none;"></colgroup><tbody><tr><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">CAMS </td><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">2018 </td><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">2019 </td><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">2020 </td></tr><tr><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">Mutual funds contribution to overall revenue </td><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">86.60% </td><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">86.80% </td><td style="border-left:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-right:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-bottom:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;border-top:solid #000000 0.9907650000000001pt;vertical-align:bottom;padding:5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt;overflow:hidden;overflow-wrap:break-word;">86.90% </td></tr></tbody></table> “We are trying to diversify our revenues from other streams, largely in the FSS arena, the financial service, largely derived from B2B businesses,” Kumar added. The company is eyeing the insurance repository business where they have almost 40% market share. They expect that business to go through inflexion points over the coming years to register growth. Kumar also added that insurance repository business, CAMS pay and other small businesses contributed 12-13% of the overall revenue pie, traditionally. And, the management is focused on improving the state of that. However, they still believe that over the coming years “Mutual Funds will continue to remain the mainstay of the company as far as revenue contribution is concerned”. The lockdown impact Despite being a “completely technologically driven company,” the CAMS business wasn’t immune to the coronavirus induced lockdown either. Kumar told Business Insider that during the lockdown period April-May, all branches of CAMS were shut and the physical selling activity which largely happens in branches of banks and happens in people’s houses was not possible due to the spread of the virus. Another factor that impacted its business was the downfall in the overall market. “Valuation losses were there overall for the industry; that phase lasted about two months for April and May.” However, in June, July and August, the company saw a significant reversal and the business started to come back as the equity market recovered, Kumar said. “They are probably still about 6% below the peak, but they have come back a long way; they were down almost 30%.” However, the impact can still be seen as “at the peak, we were servicing just short of 20 lakh crore of assets now we support about 19 lakh crore. So there was some change that happened during the COVID phase.” SEE ALSO: <a href="https://www.businessinsider.in/retail/news/amazon-pumps-in-money-into-more-to-take-on-the-heavyweights-reliance-retail-and-dmart/articleshow/78190570.cms" data-type="tilCustomLink">Amazon pumps in money into MORE to take on the heavyweights Reliance Retail and DMart</a> <a href="https://www.businessinsider.in/tech/apps/news/paytm-trains-its-guns-on-google-while-the-payments-app-is-back-in-play-store/articleshow/78190088.cms" data-type="tilCustomLink">INTERVIEW: Paytm trains its guns on Google while the payments app is back in Play Store</a> <a href="https://www.businessinsider.in/business/news/sebi-asks-nse-to-divest-entire-37-stake-in-cams/articleshow/74104658.cms" data-type="tilCustomLink">Sebi asks NSE to divest entire 37% stake in CAMS</a>

CAMS IPO subscribed 82% on day one itself — CEO shares the 30-year journey to an IPO

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Some parents are raising children with non-romantic partners and redefining family.</li><li>Digital platforms have emerged to help those searching for platonic co-parent arrangements.</li><li>But the platforms come with their own set of risks, including deception by other users.</li></ul>Jay Guercio and her best friend, Krystle Purificato, spent much of their 10-year friendship commiserating over romantic relationships gone wrong.During the pandemic, they both realized that previous romances they pursued with men chipped away at their self-esteem and left them feeling jaded about marriage.When the duo's family friend jokingly referred to them as their "moms," Guercio and Purificato had an epiphany."Krystle and I looked at each other and we were, like, 'Yup, that's what we want.' That made us feel comfort and gave this picture into what our future could be," Guercio, 23, told Insider.Last November, the best friends wedded as platonic life partners, moved in together, and began fostering Eddy, a 15-year-old family friend of Guercio.Though Guercio and Purificato aren't romantically or sexually interested in each other, they say they're the happiest they've ever been in a long-term <keyword id="11910860" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="Relationship" source="Orion">relationship</keyword>."People are, like, 'Don't you want romance?' 'Don't you want sex?' And I'm, like, 'No, I don't want those things. I want stability, partnership, teamwork, and communication.' And that's all the things that I have with Krystle," Guercio said.<h2>2 childhood best friends married after one got divorced</h2>That's how 33-year-old Andrew Cunningham felt when he married his childhood best friend, Kelly, and adopted her daughter, Lydia, whom she conceived during a previous marriage. Lydia is now 10.Cunningham and Kelly, who asked us to omit her last name for privacy reasons, jokingly made a high-school pact to marry each other if they didn't find romantic partners.Two years after Kelly divorced, they felt their friendship was solid enough to make platonic marriage and <keyword id="11910745" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="parenting" source="Orion">parenting</keyword> a reality.Kelly has talked to Lydia about it a few times, "to gather her views, and she says that she is happier that her mom was going to marry me than another guy who will hurt her," Cunningham told Insider."I have been part of Lydia's life since a couple years after she was born, and she also loves the fact that I don't 'have sex to her mom in bed,' as she puts it."<div type="image" title="A young man takes a selfie with his two parents standing behind him, smiling." height="2582" width="3443" msid="85431200" hostid="261"></div><h2>Some hopeful parents use online services to find platonic partners</h2>Cunningham and Guercio both found their platonic co-parents organically. Some parents, eager to raise a child with a platonic partner but unsuccessful at meeting like-minded folks in person, are turning to apps.Over the past decade, online platforms like PollenTree, Modamily, and Just A Baby have <a href="https://www.wsj.com/articles/co-parenting-sites-skip-love-and-marriage-go-right-to-the-baby-carriage-11578393000">simplified the search for alternative family-rearing arrangements</a>. Coupled with the rise of artificial-insemination interventions like IVF, these co-parenting services facilitate the ability to <a href="https://www.insider.com/what-is-platonic-co-parenting-and-how-does-it-work-2020-12">start a family</a> on one's own personal and financial terms.In addition to birth-related costs, people who use sperm donors, IVF, and other insemination procedures could shell out anywhere between <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/article/ivf-treatment-costs-guide.html">$12,000 and $17,000 to get pregnant</a>, according to The New York Times. There's also the issue of finding a trusted donor to offer up their sperm and, in some cases, help raise the child.Sperm-donation <a href="https://www.independent.ie/life/family/would-you-raise-a-baby-with-a-stranger-the-apps-that-offer-irish-singles-the-chance-to-find-a-co-parent-35897808.html">platforms</a> and <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2017-11-08/i-used-facebook-to-find-a-sperm-donor/9107812">Facebook groups</a> have become an <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/01/08/business/sperm-donors-facebook-groups.html">increasingly common answer to high costs,</a> but come with <a href="https://www.insider.com/reddit-thread-woman-finds-out-husband-has-47-children-via-sperm-donation-2019-4">a new</a> <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/science/2016/aug/29/sperm-donor-deceivers-dream-turns-nightmare">set of risks</a>.Sperm donors may have <a href="https://www.insider.com/reddit-thread-woman-finds-out-husband-has-47-children-via-sperm-donation-2019-4">donated multiple times</a> and have numerous <a href="https://www.insider.com/sperm-donor-with-30-biological-children-pregnantish-podcast-2020-1">biological children</a> already, for example, and <a href="https://www.insider.com/sperm-donor-with-30-biological-children-pregnantish-podcast-2020-1">don't always disclose this</a> to new recipients.<h2>Services that facilitate co-parenting arrangements can be expensive</h2>Modamily offers three service tiers for hopeful parents, according to Ivan Fatovic, the founder and CEO. Modamily's concierge service, where Fatovic personally interviews and matches candidates on a customer's behalf, is the most expensive service at upwards of $10,000 for four introductions to potential co-parents, surrogates, or egg or sperm donors.Customers can also pay for a premium subscription of $30 a month or $119 a year.Background checks aren't included in the concierge or subscription service. Fatovic says he personally crosschecks potential matches' identities using social media and a pre-interview for his concierge clients. If a customer wants to run a background check on a match themselves, Modamily suggests a service they can use on their own.According to Fatovic, it's impossible to complete a background check for every Modamily user. It's just the sheer number of people signing up every day, Fatovic told Insider, adding, "You can create an email address in two minutes."<h2>Platonic co-parenting doesn't always go as planned</h2>According to Rachel, she experienced the perils of online family building with her most recent child, born in July. (Rachel's last name has been omitted for privacy reasons.)Previously, Rachel birthed and raised two children with separate co-parents with whom she'd formed close friendships. For her third biological child, Rachel told Insider she turned to online platforms designed to help users find co-parents and sperm donors, including Modamily, PollenTree, Coparents.com, and the <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/10/fashion/seeking-to-reproduce-without-a-romantic-partnership.html">now defunct Family By Design</a>.<div type="image" title="A woman stands to the left with her daughter in the middle and her co-parent, the father of her child, to the right." height="2274" width="3024" msid="85431202" hostid="261"></div>Rachel courted about 30 people from these platforms until 2014, when she met Frank. Rachel asked Insider to use a pseudonym for Frank's identity for fear of retribution.Rachel said she and Frank saw each other's profiles on several services, including Modamily."I was trying to find somebody who would be happy to raise children with me, having another child of their own with me, and then adopt my little boy," Rachel said. In 2015, Rachel and Frank conceived an embryo.Rachel was elated. She said Frank told her he was a doctor and that he had enough money to allow Rachel to fulfill her longtime dream of being a stay-at-home mom. (In a statement to Insider, Frank denied this, writing, 'I never told [Rachel] that I had enough money for her to be a stay-at-home mother.") Frank talked openly about his history of substance abuse and how he kept himself accountable, Rachel said."It created trust because he didn't appear to be hiding anything," she said.Five months after using Frank's sperm to become pregnant, Rachel said she learned through a private investigator there was more to Frank's past, including a criminal record that she says he downplayed throughout their budding relationship. (Frank insists that "nothing was downplayed" and "all issues were openly discussed.")Rachel said when she brought up what the investigator found, Frank served her legal documents. He alleged Rachel wasn't a stable parental figure and said he deserved full custody of their unborn child, she said. (Frank disputes this account, writing that "I did not ask for full custody of our daughter, rather I asked for visitation.") She hired a lawyer and moved for a restraining order, which was denied after Rachel moved out of state.Despite the hurdles, Rachel's still having their baby."I just can't stop feeling like those frozen embryos are little frozen people in there. I can't throw them away. I have to give them a chance at life and put my life in God's hands," Rachel said.In an email, Rachel said it was a "mistake" she didn't get an in-depth background check earlier on, and wished Fatovic suggested it.Fatovic told Insider his company "has always recommended that people get to know each other, take their time, and develop a trust before they decide to have a baby and start a family," and that he recommends every Modamily user "draft a co-parenting or known-donor agreement."<h2>Starting a family is hard work, no matter how you go about it</h2>For Guercio, parenting a foster child with her best friend meant giving a young person the family they deserved while honoring her own needs.She said getting pregnant herself "just seemed complicated to me, when I could be a foster parent to a kid who needed a home, who lost their parents like I lost my mom when I was young."No matter how it happens, building a family unit will always be a complex process filled with difficult and joyous moments.Rachel said she wishes she had considered more of these complexities before starting her own search for the perfect co-parent. Nonetheless, she said being surrounded with her children is her life's goal."I can actually find the most bizarre form of gratitude that I was deceived, because I wouldn't have her otherwise," Rachel said of her youngest child.Guercio, Purificato, and Eddy now live in a three-bedroom house with Purificato's mother. They hope to save enough money to buy a bigger home, where they can each have their own bedrooms and build a life and a family on their own terms."I would love to explain to the world that love comes in all different shapes and sizes and dynamics," Guercio said. "I'm just really excited to share my story with the world — our story."

Single people are ditching love and raising kids with platonic friends

<ul class="summary-list"><li><a href="https://www.juliavonboehm.com/">Julia von Boehm</a> is a stylist and consultant and is currently the Fashion Director at <a href="https://www.instyle.com/">InStyle magazine</a>. She runs her own fashion <a href="https://www.juliavonboehm.com/">website</a> and her own styling company, JVB. </li><li>Her styling work has been featured everywhere from <a href="https://www.harpersbazaar.com/">Harper's Bazaar</a> to <a href="https://www.vogue.de/">Vogue Germany.</a></li><li>Boehm has become a favorite for big-name celebs who go to her for style expertise. </li><li>Sitting down for an interview with Business Insider, Boehm talks about her career beginnings, how she balances five different jobs, and how she came to build her fashion empire. </li><li>This is part of Business Insider's "<a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/category/thestyleseries">The Style Series</a>," highlighting fashion entrepreneurs and businesses across the globe.</li><li><a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/?hprecirc-bullet">Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories.</a></li></ul>Julia von Boehm is many things: a stylist, a consultant, a mother, the fashion director at <a href="https://www.instyle.com/">InStyle magazine</a>, and <a href="https://juliavonboehm.com">the editor-in-chief of her own fashion website</a>. Born in Heidelberg, Germany, Boehm moved to Paris in 1998 to study briefly at <a href="https://fhcm.paris/en/the-federation/">La Chambre Syndicale de la Couture Parisienne</a> before leaving to work, first as an assistant, then as an editor, under the legendary <a href="https://www.instagram.com/carineroitfeld/?hl=en">Carine Roitfeld</a> at <a href="https://www.vogue.fr/">French Vogue</a>. In 2010, Boehm moved to New York City to work as a freelance stylist. Before some of her biggest celebrity clients - including <a href="https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/lists/bombshell-margot-robbie-nicole-kidman-charlize-therons-best-red-carpet-looks-1275059/item/bombshell-style-sparkles-paradise-1275052">"Bombshell" star Nicole Kidman</a> - are set to hit the red carpet for the Academy Awards, Boehm sat down with Business Insider to talk about her career beginnings and the process of building a fashion empire."Very, very early on I had started liking art and everything visual."That brought me to fashion at some point. I was actually 10 years old when I decided to not follow the advice of my parents to go to my sister's school. 'I want to go to a different school,' I said, which was a school that taught French as a first foreign language '...because [for college] I'm going to move to Paris and I'm going to study fashion design.'"I didn't know how many different jobs there were in fashion."I started [fashion design school] and I was not particularly good at pattern cutting or sewing. By accident, I met <a href="https://www.instagram.com/carineroitfeld/?hl=en">Carine Roitfeld</a>, who was then the first famous stylist in history. I was starting to be friends with assistants of [famed fashion photographer] Mario Testino in Paris because we were all expats - and Hugh Gwyther, who I became really good friends with- obviously knew Carine because they were always on set together. At some point he said to me 'Yeah, Carine actually is looking for a new assistant.'"I started as a second assistant for a little bit on set and then I started being her first assistant."We were working <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/how-gucci-louis-vuitton-became-two-most-valuable-luxury-brands-2020-01">with Tom Ford on Gucci</a>. But then shortly after, [Roitfeld] actually got called by French Vogue and assigned to become editor-in-chief. She sat me down and she was like 'Would you come with me to French Vogue if I go there?' and I said 'Yeah, of course.' So I started as her assistant at French Vogue."America makes it much easier for small businesses to grow." Paris was getting a little small. America seemed to be the better place, <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/garrett-leight-millennial-eyewear-brand-glco-interview-2020-1">the country of opportunities</a>. I founded my company 13 years ago when I moved to New York as a freelancer. I worked for a lot of different magazines, but I wasn't employed by any of them. It was different then; I just had one assistant with me. Now, I actually have many people who work for me. Delegating is far more important now. It's like puzzle pieces."My job consists of four different jobs, really." I am the Fashion Director of InStyle magazine, I'm my own boss in my own company, I style celebrities for everyday and for the red carpet, I do consulting for brands, and I also style fashion shows and do collaborations with brands. Every day is totally different. It's all the same hat but in different colors; same purpose, but different approaches."[Celebrity styling] is something that came out of the blue." I was [styling] a couple of celebrities for Harper's Bazaar US because I was freelancing for [the magazine] and I got along very well with them … They'd have wonderful talent [whom] I found so inspiring. They're different shapes, they're different colors, different types of women. It was so inspiring to work with them and collaborate - not just put a dress on them - but to work together."One day, someone who I had worked with on a couple of occasions called me."[She] was like, 'I know that's not really what you do, but can we maybe work together?' and I loved that so much, although I was so frightened because ... [celebrity styling] is a very different beast than just styling for magazines. It's a very different approach. You have to do everything differently. You have to also keep in mind that the eyes watching you are not 'fashion people.'"Learning by doing was my approach, and I had the best teacher."It was a wonderful learning process and wonderful feeling that somebody trusted me. I still only work with people that I really love deeply. For me it's important, because I give everything when I work and I need to do it for somebody that I respect."I worked with <a href="https://www.instagram.com/laurabrown99/?hl=en">[InStyle's editor-in-chief] Laura Brown</a> a lot at <a href="https://www.harpersbazaar.com/">Harper's Bazaar</a>." As I was shooting a lot with celebrities, she was writing all of their interviews ... She called me at some point and asked if I wanted to take a position [at InStyle] and I had said no to so many things before, and so many things after, but because we had this connection ... I thought it was a great challenge to bring my knowledge to the magazine. "I do look for trends, but not really trends." <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/balenciaga-releases-new-shoe-zen-collection-inspired-by-athletes-2020-1">It's more of a subtle</a> 'what's going on there.' For example, the whole political climate has reflected on how women dress lately. Everybody wears blazers; everybody wears men's shirts and ties. We have a much more "men-sy" approach to how we dress ourselves, but it doesn't have <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/what-the-next-it-shoe-of-decade-will-be-2020-1">to read like a trend</a>. It's just a hint."[<a href="https://www.juliavonboehm.com/">My website</a>] is kind of like my mini magazine." You learn it through doing, because [running a website is] a whole new beast for me. I feel like everybody wants edited content because there's too much out there, and I would like to give that to people. I'm not trying to speak to everybody. I try to inspire, to give my understanding to people that don't normally have the access, and share the knowledge, tips, tricks, and the lens that I have into the industry."I love mentoring, but I don't do it consciously." I just do it because I think that's how I was built ... All of my assistants have become really amazing stylists. They're very good, steady, and hardworking stylists that have a foundation, and that's one of the things that makes me the happiest.

The Style Series: How Nicole Kidman's stylist Julia von Boehm went from being a legendary French Vogue editor's assistant to heading her own fashion empire

<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image"></div></div></div><ul><li>UBS employs experts in fields like hydrology, climate science and data analytics to gain an edge on its competition.</li><li>Last year, analysts and a team of engineers dismantled an electric car to work out how much it was actually worth.</li><li>The bank gathers between 60,000 and 70,000 questions per year from clients. </li></ul> For analysts at <a href="http://markets.businessinsider.com/stocks/ubs-stock">UBS</a>, everything starts with a question.The bank gathers between 60,000 and 70,000 questions per year from clients. These range from the macro - such as "how will a trade war impact the global economy?" - all the way to minutely detailed questions about the price of components in computers and cars.Questions are then put into a database which the bank's staff can look to when trying to analyse the state of the thousands companies it covers. UBS has coverage on between 85% and 88% of stocks on the MSCI World Index."Some of those questions are actively being thought about by the investors, some of those are in anticipation of what the markets should be thinking about in the near term," Barry Hurewitz, global chief operating officer of UBS Group Research told Business Insider.One thing that links all the questions, Juan Luis Perez,&#xa0;UBS' global head of research told Business Insider in a separate conversation, is that they "matter."Question gathering is part of UBS' long term plan to differentiate its research capability from that of other banks by taking an approach that is heavily focused on data, and applies the principles of scientific research to the world of high finance."A big part" of UBS' research, Hurewitz told BI, is that scientific approach.&#xa0;"[We have] a research methodology that is somewhat aligned with the scientific method," he said. "We want the analysts to really start with 'What are the uncertainties and questions that are on minds of our investors?'"The question bank, however, is "just a starting point," Hurewitz says.<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table float_right"><div><div class="image on-image"></div></div></div>Once there's a question in mind, UBS looks to find an answer, <a href="http://about-neo.ubs.com/content/evidence-lab">often using its Evidence Lab</a> - a specialist research facility that employs experts in particular fields to identify trends and provide evidence for the questions clients and analysts are asking."The goal is to gather evidence and to conduct analysis that will make you feel more confident that what you know is different from the market, and is more likely to be right."UBS wants to exploit data to find opportunities for investors that other financial institutions are not seeing.Traditionally this was the job of the analyst alone, but the huge increases in the amount of available data means that they are now hard pressed to cope with it all.&#xa0;"The amount of data that was available 15 years ago is dramatically different to today," Hurewitz said."To think that an analyst with Excel, two associates, and a CFA is going to be able cope with all that data, that's not realistic."Not only is the amount of data available to banks drastically different to just a few years ago, so to are the tools available to explore and exploit that data."There are tools you have today that didn't exist before," Perez said.With these tools you have three choices. You can ignore, you can train analysts [in using them], or you can do what we did, which is build a second research department. That's the Evidence Lab."As a result, UBS employs specialists in a whole range of subjects from hydrology - the science of water - to experts in shipping, all the way to climatologists.In Hurewitz's words, the aim of the Evidence Lab is to create a team "that's organised around specialists who know how to use specific types of data very well, as well as unique types of analysis.""The whole idea is to turn the analyst's view into a hypothesis," and to "validate" their ideas.The evidence suggests UBS' data-heavy approach is working. The bank was recently voted as the number three bank in the world for its overall research by Institutional Investor magazine, and came top of the pile in the equity research category. There's also evidence that other institutions are following their lead, with Barclays <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/barclays-has-hired-a-chief-data-scientist-from-buzzfeed-2018-5?IR=T">recently hiring a data scientist to bolster its research department.</a><h2>Stripping down a car to prove a point</h2>UBS' approach to research may be heavily couched in data analytics, but there is a practical element as well, with the bank carrying out a number of striking experiments in recent years to validate the hypotheses of its analysts.Last year analysts at the bank bought a <a href="http://uk.businessinsider.com/category/chevy-bolt">Chevrolet Bolt</a> - the US auto giant's<a href="http://uk.businessinsider.com/tesla-model-3-chevy-bolt-comparison-pictures-2018-4">&#xa0;mass market electric car.</a>UBS' Evidence then teamed up with a group of engineers to dismantle the car, with the aim of working out exactly how much it costs General Motors - Chevrolet's parent company - to manufacture the Bolt.This, in turn, formed the basis of a paper by the bank looking at how electric vehicles like the Bolt could disrupt the automotive industry in the future. The answer to that question was, as it turns out, quite a lot.&#xa0;During the takedown, which you can see below, UBS found that the Bolt has a total of just 35 parts that are either moving or are subject to wear and tear during every day use. By comparison, a standard, every day car - UBS used the example of a Volkswagen Golf - has around 150 moving or wearable parts.The difference is particularly striking in the engine. A regular car has more than 110 moving parts in its engine, a Bolt, just three.&#xa0;The Bolt's lack of moving parts means that it requires very little maintenance. Car dealerships make a significant proportion of their profit from charging customers for repairs and general maintenance, so the fact electric cars tend not to need much maintenance poses a problem for their profitability."On our analysis, the after-sales revenue pool could drop by ~60% or &gt;$400 per vehicle per year. This should pose a major challenge for dealerships, which typically generate &gt;40% of their gross profit pool in service and maintenance," said UBS.The teardown also found, among other things that the car is $4,600 cheaper per unit to produce than had been expected, which led UBS' analysts to reevaluate the profit margins on electric vehicles.<h2>Analysing the&#xa0;The Happiest Place On Earth</h2><div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image"></div></div></div>Another example came after the much hyped <a href="http://uk.businessinsider.com/shanghai-disneyland-theme-park-china-largest-enchanted-storybook-castle-2016-6">opening of Disneyland Shanghai</a>, the $5.5 billion amusement park, which was the first of its kind in China. In the early stages of the park - which opened to great fanfare in 2016 - there was no data to show how many people were visiting on a daily basis.&#xa0;That made it hard for analysts to work out how much money the park was making.To get round this issue, UBS commissioned satellite photography of the parking lots at the park, which was then analysed and allowed the bank to estimate passenger numbers. Similar technology is used to work out how much oil is being stored at refineries in the Middle East, <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/satellite-imagery-saudi-arabia-oil-stores-2017-12/?IR=T">as Business Insider reported in January.</a>UBS encountered a problem with this method. As you can see in the picture above, Disneyland Shanghai is susceptible to cloud and smog, often making satellite imaging impossible. So the bank needed a new way of working out visitor numbers.They found this by analysing wait times on rides for amusement parks all over the world, and comparing them to those at Disneyland Shanghai, which allowed analysts to estimate how busy the park was.UBS also used text mining software to analyse online comments about the park on websites like TripAdvisor, searching for words like queues, queueing, and line lengths to find out sentiment around wait times at the park. If there is a high level of negative sentiment around queues, that could be a bad sign for visitor numbers.Like all UBS research, all this analysis boils down to a question. In this case, that question was: "How well is Disneyland Shanghai going to do relative to expectations?"<h2>Mifid II: Not a problem</h2><div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image"></div></div></div>One of the biggest changes in the banking research industry right now is the implementation of the new<a href="http://uk.businessinsider.com/how-much-mifid-will-cost-european-investment-banks-and-traders-2017-12">&#xa0;Markets in Financial Instruments Directive II (better known as MiFID II)</a> - a set of regulations from the EU&#xa0;intended to heighten transparency and root out conflicts of interest.The regulations are partly concerned with the distribution of research by banks, and mandates that research is uncoupled from other products. Previously banks tended to give away their research as part of client services packages, but are no longer allowed to do so.Banks are scrambling to comply with the regulations, but UBS' senior research staff haven't seen any big differences since the legislation came into place in January 2018."We keep the same plans we had before and what we have to be trying to do is to navigate the relationships under the terms of the new regulations." Perez told Business Insider."Honestly speaking, the changes are not that deep.""To assess the depth of the change you will have to wait for another year and a half or thereabouts, to see how this is going to play out. At this point in time everybody is trying to play poker."<div><div style="display: block; position: relative; max-width: 100%;"><div style="padding-top: 56.25%;"></div></div></div> <div class="margin-top"> <h3>NOW WATCH: <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/millennials-are-driving-a-huge-shift-in-the-way-we-shop-and-invest-2018-5">Millennials are leading an investment revolution - here's what makes their generation different</a></h3> <div> </div> </div></hr>

70,000 questions a year, satellite imagery, and dismantling electric cars: How UBS is trying to change the face of financial research

<div type="image" title="woman barbell shoulder press" height="1413" width="1884" msid="79127836" hostid="261"></div><ul class="summary-list"><li>The concept of "toning" is a myth — the "toned" look really means having muscle, and low enough body fat to see that definition.</li><li>It's understandable to be nervous about gaining weight after you've worked hard to lose it, but that needn't be the case.</li><li>The trick is to up your <keyword id="20964" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="calories">calories</keyword> to maintenance level, and track, reassess, and adjust accordingly so you get the results you want.</li><li>Ensure you're applying the principle of progressive overload when <keyword id="6403358" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="weight-lifting">weight lifting</keyword>, as this is key for muscle and strength gains.</li><li>Read more <a href="https://www.insider.com/category/working-it-out">Working It Out</a> here.</li></ul>Dear Rachel,I've lost 118 pounds over the last year, but I'm trying to <keyword id="146062" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="Tone">tone</keyword> up. I used to do cardio every day, but now I just do about 10-15 minutes of cardio to get my heart rate up and lift for about 30-50 minutes a day. I'm in a calorie deficit to this day because I'm terrified of gaining weight. What should I do to increase my muscle tone but not regain the weight I've lost?— TerrifiedDear Terrified,Firstly, congratulations on your <keyword id="6358794" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="weight-loss">weight loss</keyword> achievement, particularly because it sounds like you've done it the right way too. In a world of fad diets, quick fixes, and unsustainable programs, it takes strength to do it properly, take your time, and focus on creating a new lifestyle that will <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-lose-weight">deliver lasting results</a>.Prioritizing strength training is really important because it ensures you lose <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-burn-fat-without-losing-muscle-according-keto-bodybuilder-2020-7">fat and not muscle</a>, and you're thus changing your body composition, not just becoming a smaller version of the same body.As <a href="https://www.insider.com/healthy-fat-weight-loss-maintain-muscle-exercise-fitness-tips-2019-6">someone who's done the same in the past</a>, I understand the nervousness around transferring to maintenance or even focusing on building muscle — when you've been in a calorie deficit for a while, it can be scary to start eating more for fear of undoing all your progress. But if you want to build some muscle, which is necessary for the "toned" look (I'm about to break this myth down for you), coming out of a calorie deficit will help. Don't stress.<h2>You cannot 'tone' a muscle</h2>The idea of "toning" is a myth. Muscles can't go from soft to hard or vice versa, they either grow or shrink.To create the physique that many people call "toned," it essentially comes down to having muscle on your body, and low enough body fat to show off that muscular definition.When I lost weight, I'd been resistance training for two years already so I had muscle, you just couldn't really see it under my layer of insulation. When I shed some of that fat, <a href="https://www.insider.com/i-lost-weight-fitness-expert-strength-leanness-myths-2020-8">people suddenly started commenting on how "toned" I looked</a>. "When we speak of tone, we are talking about our body looking firm (which is a result of an increase in muscle tissue) as well as defined (which is a result of a low enough body fat percentage) where we can see the shape of the muscles and the absence of 'the jiggle,'" <a href="https://www.insider.com/adele-weight-loss-former-personal-trainer-defends-transformation-pete-geracimo-2020-5">Pete Geracimo</a>, a trainer who has worked with Adele among other stars, told Insider."So in all essence of the word, tone = lean. Muscles themselves do not 'firm-up' or 'tone.' They already are toned or else they wouldn't be able to do their jobs," he added.<h2>Transitioning to maintenance level calories is the key</h2>If you want to sculpt a muscular and lean physique, it comes down to building some muscle while keeping your body fat levels down.Now, this is possible while in a calorie deficit, as personal trainer <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-lose-fat-build-muscle-simultaneously-weight-loss-tips-2020-6">Ben Carpenter previously explained to me</a>, but it sounds like you may not need or want to lose any more fat, and you'll get better results by upping your calories somewhat."Continuing to keep yourself in a calorie deficit is going to backfire eventually," <a href="https://soheefit.com/">Sohee Lee</a>, certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist, Sports Nutritionist, and author of "Eat. Lift. Thrive." told Insider.<div type="image" title="Sohee Lee 2" height="3367" width="4489" msid="79127837" hostid="261"></div>"You don't want to extend the diet phase longer than needed; now is the time you should be fueling yourself adequately and building up your muscle and metabolism. You can't do that when you're not eating enough," Lee added."It's common to forget all the benefits that come out of letting yourself eat enough food, including but not limited to: better energy levels, better workouts, increased strength, improved libido, and more mental bandwidth to devote to other areas of your life," she said.Lee pointed out that coming out of a deficit doesn't mean you'll suddenly "pack on fat." There's a middle ground.<h2>Track, reassess, and be patient</h2><a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-lose-weight-without-counting-calories-fat-loss-tips-2020-9">Calorie-tracking isn't for everyone</a>, but it sounds like it's a system that works for you, which is great.There's no formula for working out exactly how much more you should eat to help you build muscle without gaining lots of fat, so the best thing to do is trial and error, tracking as you go and adjusting as you see fit."I would recommend tacking on anywhere between 200-500 calories onto your current intake (depending on how steep of a deficit you're keeping yourself in), then reassessing how you feel and where things are in 2-3 weeks' time," Lee said. "I think you'll be pleasantly surprised that all your progress doesn't unravel just by giving yourself permission to eat enough."How much you consume is more important than exactly what those foods are, but if you want to go more detailed you can think about your <a href="https://www.insider.com/should-you-track-macros-and-calories-to-lose-weight-healthily-2020-7">breakdown of macronutrients</a> (AKA macros): proteins, carbs, and fat.<div type="image" title="Jono Castano 4" height="861" width="1148" msid="79127844" hostid="261"></div>"There are websites and apps that can work out the correct macronutrients you need in order to achieve your specific goal, but usually for a client that wants to stay lean but put on some muscle mass, I would recommend: 25-40% protein, 20-35% fat, 30-40% carbs," <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-lose-fat-transform-body-for-life-essential-steps-2020-1">Jono Castano</a>, a personal trainer who has recently worked with Rebel Wilson, told Insider.Bear in mind that building muscle <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-long-does-it-take-to-build-muscle">takes a long time</a>, and you need to be patient."Some body types are genetically predisposed to building muscle faster and easier than others," Geracimo said."But regardless of genetics, it takes a massive effort and time (weeks or months) to put on even one pound of muscle. So we are talking lots of eating and lots of lifting."<h2>Focusing on weight lifting is the right way to go</h2>It sounds like you're on the right track with your resistance-focused workouts."The more lean muscle you add from strength training, the greater your <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-is-metabolism-related-to-weight-loss">BMR [basal metabolic rate] will be</a>, which will result in you burning more total calories and fat at rest," Geracimo said.However, you need to make sure you're continually challenging the body and applying progressive overload: gradually upping the weights, reps, or sets.<div type="image" title="Pete Geracimo 4.JPG" height="4000" width="5333" msid="79127846" hostid="261"></div>"You need to get uncomfortable in your workouts and give your body a reason to change and become fitter and leaner," Geracimo said. "Varying up your training with strength and cardio sessions will not only stop you from getting bored but will also keep your body guessing and on its toes.""The moment you get too comfortable and you're not being challenged, your body will go into auto-pilot and this is when you experience plateauing," he added.For your heart <keyword id="6354750" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="health">health</keyword>, it's important to keep up some cardio as you are though."Cardio training should be kept to more of a moderate level," Castano said. "If you like to really sweat, a few days of high-intensity interval training is fine, just make sure to add in weight and resistance training at least 3-4 times a week."At the end of the day, please keep things in perspective: How your body feels is much more important than how it looks, so don't forget to take a step back and appreciate everything your body does for you, and celebrate what you've achieved.Wishing you well,RachelAs a senior lifestyle reporter at Insider and a self-described <keyword id="18974" type="COMPANY" weightage="60" keywordseo="fitness">fitness</keyword> fanatic with an Association for Nutrition certified nutrition course under her belt, Rachel Hosie is immersed in the wellness scene and here to answer all your burning questions. Whether you're struggling to find the motivation to go for a run, confused about light versus heavy weights, or unsure whether you should be worried about how much sugar is in a mango, Rachel is here to give you the no-nonsense answers and advice you need, with strictly no fad diets in sight.Rachel has a wealth of experience covering fitness, nutrition, and wellness, and she has the hottest experts at her fingertips. She regularly speaks to some of the world's most knowledgeable and renowned personal trainers, dietitians, and coaches, ensuring she's always up to date with the latest science-backed facts you need to know to live your happiest and healthiest life.Have a question? Ask Rachel at <a href="mailto:workingitout@insider.com">workingitout@insider.com</a> or <a href="https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdDIbfZRRMVBnoy8rGlWHgO-9bkFmMHj65ARilteDq_0V-TZA/viewform?usp=sf_link">fill out this anonymous form</a>. All questions will be published anonymously.<h2 id="read-more-working-it-out:">Read more <a href="https://www.insider.com/category/working-it-out">Working It Out</a>:</h2><ul><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-feel-less-body-conscious-cope-with-gym-pressure-2020-10">I feel body conscious because I'm not into fitness but all my friends are gym junkies. How do I cope with the pressure?</a></li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-lose-weight-fat-gained-lifestyle-not-changed-lockdown-2020-10">I've gained weight over the past 6 months but haven't changed my lifestyle. What can I do to lose fat?</a></li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-lose-weight-without-counting-calories-fat-loss-tips-2020-9">I've lost weight by counting calories in the past but always get obsessed. How do I slim down without tracking my food?</a></li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-create-positive-attitude-to-exercise-hated-school-pe-2020-9">I hated gym class at school and have a negative relationship with exercise as a result. How do I move past this and develop a positive mindset?</a></li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-break-through-weight-loss-plateau-achieve-toned-body-2020-8">I've stopped losing weight even though I'm exercising regularly and eating healthy. How do I break through the plateau?</a></li></ul>

I've lost weight and want to tone up, but I'm terrified of regaining fat. How do I create a fit physique?

30. What does a brand sound like?

<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image"><a href="https://cbd420.ch/gb/">Vladimir Tisma / CBD420</a>Jonas Duclos</div></div></div><ul><li>Jonas Duclos has devoted the last two decades to cannabis products.</li><li>With two business partners, he set up CBD420, a website that legally sells products containing THC and CBD - molecules found in cannabis.</li><li>Testimonials from customers say his products have helped a range of conditions from epilepsy to Parkinson's, pain, and acne. </li><li>But to really help people, Duclos says legislation and regulation of cannabis have a way to go.</li><li>Many people use products from the black market, which aren't always safe. </li><li>If the industry was regulated, everyone would have access to products that could be proven to help. </li><li>But it's going to take a long time to get there.</li></ul> When he was 15 years old, Jonas Duclos started to have some health issues. It took a while to work out what was wrong, but his doctors finally told him he was suffering from a rare genetic disease called <a href="https://rarediseases.org/rare-diseases/pityriasis-rubra-pilaris/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">PRP</a>, which was attacking his skin and blood.For the past 17 years, Duclos has been trying to manage the excruciating pain the condition brings. "Suffering from constant pain... it is a real nightmare on a daily basis, and many people cannot understand that struggle because it's really hard to grasp how terrible it is," he told Business Insider.As a teenager, he found the most effective painkiller available to him was cannabis - and he realised it was helping his pain more than all of the pills doctors were trying to give him."I've been able to help myself with cannabis, of course for many years illegally... My disease doesn't fit the sheet of the pharmaceutical industry - so I had to figure out how to treat myself on my own somehow."He said this discovery led him to become curious about the "therapeutic or the helpful side of cannabis, not only the recreational."<h2>The journey to CBD420</h2>After dropping out of school due to his health, Duclous dedicated the next two decades of his life to the <keyword id="41551" type="ENTERTAINMENT" weightage="100" keywordseo="science">science</keyword> and economics around cannabis.Despite having no high school diploma or degree, he managed to impress Swiss investment bank UBS, who took him in for an apprenticeship in wealth management. He was there eight years before shifting his attention entirely to the cannabis industry.He used his new financial education to look further into the legislation of cannabis, its issues, and the health benefits - always coming from a personal angle of trying to find new ways to help people through this misunderstood plant.In 2016, Duclos met Bruno Studer and Kevin Goetelen, who shared his view of how much good the cannabis industry could do for people. In 2017, they started JKB Research together, which <a href="https://cbd420.ch/gb/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">manufactures and sells CBD-based products under the brand name CBD420</a>.<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image"><a href="https://cbd420.ch/gb/">JKB &amp; CBD420</a></div></div></div>CBD is one of hundreds of compounds in the cannabis plant. At <a href="https://internationalcbc.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">the International Cannabis Business Conference</a> last April in Berlin, Duclos listened to presentations from medical professionals which essentially said we don't know anything about most of them."We know already there are more than 500 compounds in the plant of cannabis, and so far, we haven't identified half of those," he said. "So how can we pretend we know everything at this point? It's impossible."<h2>The best way to introduce cannabis to skeptics</h2>CBD doesn't make you high, and the only known side effect is that it can make you feel sleepy. As for the benefits, they appear to be endless."There's no scientific proof at this point," Duclos said. "It's only that there are some obvious observations we've been able to notice from many people doing tests on their own."In testimonials from his customers, for example, Duclos has heard CBD can help with the spasms that come with epilepsy, the shaking associated with Parkinson's, and CBD balms can even help with skin problems. But without scientific data, these experiences are merely anecdotal."It's very important to explain to [customers] how we can't promise anything," he said.But the research is building up. For example, <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/s41388-018-0390-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">an article published in the journal Oncogene</a> this week found that CBD could boost pancreatic cancer treatments - although the tests were in human cells and in mice. CBD is also being used in a <a href="https://www.kcl.ac.uk/ioppn/news/records/2017/12-december/cannabidiol-cbd-could-represent-a-'new-class-of-treatment'-for-psychosis.aspx" target="_blank" rel="noopener">number of trials to try and treat psychosis</a>.Duclos has a passion for skateboarding - he founded and leads OG Skate, Switzerland's largest skateboarding association - so he also has a lot of contact with professional athletes who use CBD for their muscle problems."If they get hit, or if they twist an ankle, if their knee hurts, they've been giving us amazing feedback of how CBD seems to help them," he said."So far, no studies have been able to prove that CBD could be psychoactive or addictive.... So this molecule is a very interesting one to start introducing cannabis to people."There are also compounds called terpenes, which can enhance or activate the potential of CBD, but according to Duclos, nobody knows how they work."The human body is actually full of what we call CBD receptors," said Duclos. "Somehow there seems to be a matching molecule in this cannabis plant."He said it's like there are puzzle pieces in the body, and the matching pieces are found in the cannabis plant, "but so far the picture on it is too blurry to see how they are really matched together."<h2>THC is more risky</h2>Another well-known compound in cannabis is THC, which is what makes you feel high. It is also associated with anxiety if the product is too potent, or is simply made with too many bad chemicals. Duclos said a lot of these problems come down to the fact cannabis is mostly bought and sold on the black market.With the right regulations and education around it, cannabis could be safe for everyone, he said. He compared it to how people would make moonshine during prohibition in the US, and were dying from drinking a bad, unregulated product."I think it's pretty unfair to make [cannabis] evil at this point," he said. "We didn't make alcohol evil for that matter. We are in a period of marijuana prohibition. The product coming from the black market cannot be controlled and clean, and we cannot work with full transparency with a client in the black market."For instance, some dealers lace their cannabis products with chemicals to boost the levels of THC. Unless you know the product really well, it's unlikely you'll be able to tell exactly what you're smoking or ingesting until you take it.Not everyone who uses cannabis wants to get really high. As Duclos said, if you were making a fine wine, you wouldn't be marketing to the students who want to get drunk all the time. There are those who buy strong spirits for exactly that reason, but there are also people who want a more mellow effect."For the industry to be able to educate, we need to have a better understanding, and regulations that enable the industry to sell clean products with full transparency," Duclos said. "And it's just impossible today to do it perfectly, as we're evolving in those grey areas in all those different countries."<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image"><a href="https://cbd420.ch/gb/">Vladimir Tisma / CBD420</a>Bruno Studer and Kevin Goetelen</div></div></div><h2>There are a lot of grey areas</h2>In Switzerland, for instance, there was a slight change to the law in 2011 to increase the tolerance level of THC in products from 0.2% to 1%.One of the main reasons for this adjustment was because hemp farmers, who make textiles from the fibre of the cannabis plant, would end up with products with a THC level naturally higher than 0.2%, so they would be breaking the law by selling rope, strong fabrics, and paper."Those very simple farmers would end up in an illegal situation because of a bad understanding of cannabis," said Duclos. "That's why the Swiss authorities increased the level - because that obviously wouldn't make sense."So CBD420 products with a THC level of less than 1% can be sold in Switzerland, which is essentially a loophole. But all cannabis products are also listed as a tobacco substitute, so it's heavily taxed, and everything CBD420 sells has to have a "smoking kills" label."Which is a shame when you know how some of my clients are just old ladies making tea with it," said Duclos. "It seems to be, from their feedback, very helpful for their arthritis."Other countries have their own regulations, which complicate things even further.In June, Canada became the second country in the world, behind Uruguay, <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/canada-legalizes-marijuana-first-g7-country-to-do-so-2018-6?r=US&amp;IR=T" target="_blank" rel="noopener">to legalise marijuana</a>. In the US, it's a grey area, because laws differ from state to state. In nine states, including California, cannabis is legal for both medical and recreational use. In 31 states, it is legal for medicinal use only.In the UK, Duclos said Brexit could bring about an interesting opportunity to start over with a blank sheet on <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/a-legal-cannabis-market-could-offset-nhs-deficit-2018-6?r=US&amp;IR=T" target="_blank" rel="noopener">cannabis regulation</a>. And the country does appear to be opening its mind on the topic. In July, UK home secretary <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/society/2018/jul/26/cannabis-based-medicines-get-green-light-as-uk-eases-rules" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Sajid Javid said doctors should be allowed to prescribe cannabis-derived medicines</a>.In countries like France and Germany, there's confusion over whether authorities should rely on EU or local law. In France, for example, CBD420 products are totally legal under EU law, but they're illegal under French law."Right now, the governments, they're not educated well enough," Duclos said. "It's pretty obvious today that prohibition is a failure on every level: on the understanding of the products, the protection, the use, everything that's been done so far. We can tell criminalising people for using drugs is not a solution, that's pretty obvious."<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image"><a href="https://cbd420.ch/gb/">Vladimir Tisma / CBD420</a>Some CBD420 products.</div></div></div><h2>Black market products vary in quality</h2>If recreational cannabis use was decriminalised everywhere, Duclos argued patients like those who buy his products could be as healthy as possible. Having a good regulation for cannabis is the only way to ensure people get a clean product, he said, and we would actually be able to learn what the positive effects really are."A lot of people are using cannabis for medical purposes, but they're hiding," he said. "They're scared, because cannabis has a very bad image. There has a been an impressive brainwashing about the negatives of cannabis over the past 50 years, and of course it's very difficult to change people's mentalities at this point."Paypal and Google, for instance, <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/mikeadams/2018/06/13/tech-companies-google-and-paypal-not-playing-nice-with-cannabis-industry/#41aebc9f7040" target="_blank" rel="noopener">have made their problems with doing business with cannabis-related operations clear</a>.All the murky legislature, the bad public image, and the lack of data to support how CBD can be used means Duclos can never honestly recommend his products to the hundreds of people who come to him looking for solutions to their problems."As of today we don't have enough information to do that, when someone asks me: 'How much cannabis should I take?'" he said.But he doesn't have a problem introducing people to CBD, "because no matter the situation, to my knowledge, the worst case scenario is that it makes them tired and it doesn't fix their problem. But it won't make anything worse."<h2>Changing the public image of cannabis</h2>It's going to take a long time, Duclos said, but he is clear CBD420 has always played by the rules. They do their books and accounting, pay their taxes, and work with the health authorities and customs. They use organic products such as beeswax, coconut butter, and herbs, and there's no dodgy chemicals to be wary of."That's pretty much our strategy today, to start by showcasing a good image of cannabis through a brand," he said.But the problems don't start and stop with legislation. In Canada, for example, the authorities are going to have to start regulating an industry that comes from the black market."It's like parents and teenagers," Duclos said. "As of today, a lot of people have been using cannabis illegally for medical purposes, including edibles and concentrates, and they've been working with people from the black market, and doing an amazing job helping those patients. But now what is it going to be? Are they going to get a licence? They don't know."The major problem, he said, is that governments are so far behind in innovation and research, they won't know the best people to work with. When there's a massive unregulated black market out there, it takes experience to know who's legitimate and who isn't.<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image"><a href="https://cbd420.ch/gb/">Balthazar Wyss / CBD420</a></div></div></div>Duclos said people in the industry do not want to see regulations that look like they're written for the pharmaceutical industry. From day one, he has wanted to research cannabis for how it can help people, both recreationally and medically.The pharmaceutical industry will never care about their patients as much as CBD420, he said, because the companies work for shareholders. For Duclos, the journey has been personal right from the start. He's not just investing his career and livelihood into cannabis, but his health too - which he wouldn't be doing unless he truly believed in what it can do for people.<h2>The future is bright</h2>Every step of Duclos life - from his illness, to his banking career, to finding his personalised health plan - has led him to the cannabis industry, which he says is a "blessing.""I feel like I've been really lucky to gather the knowledge and skills over the years," he said. "My life has been pointing in that direction, and it feels amazing and I'm looking forward to everything that happens next."It's going to take decades to fully start to grasp how cannabis really works, and authorities will have to adapt along with the research. Duclos hopes things go the right way, rather than sending the trade underground all over again.Either way, he said his business will always be legal, and if that means he has to give it up, so be it. But until then, he'll keep playing his part in spreading education about cannabis."Any farmer thinks they can be a cannabis grower, but it actually takes a lot of science, so you need to be better educated, and it takes time," he said. "It's going to be a long process... but if somehow we have a positive impact on it, I'll be the happiest person on earth." <div class="margin-top"> <h3>NOW WATCH: <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/why-cities-can-not-get-rid-of-rats-2018-6">Why cities can't get rid of rats</a></h3> <div> </div> </div>

People use cannabis products for health problems like Parkinson's, epilepsy, and acne - but misinformation and out-of-date regulations are stopping most from benefitting

<div class="image-container float_right" style="width:400px"><div class="image"></div><a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/major-brands-that-support-gay-marriage-photos-2013-3">YouTube</a></div>Even though it appears the political landscape is shifting in favor of <keyword id="21192" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="Gay-marriage">gay marriage</keyword> and the Supreme Court recently heard arguments on the legality of the Defense of Marriage Act, getting married still poses some unique challenges for same-sex couples.
There are a series of questions and issues gay couples must face when planning their wedding that hetero couples simply don't have to worry about.
We spoke with Bernadette Coveney Smith — founder and president of the New York- and Boston-based gay wedding planning company <a href="http://www.14stories.com/" target="_blank">14 Stories</a> and the same-sex wedding style website <a href="http://fourteenstyle.com/" target="_blank">Fourteen</a>— about the major challenges and questions gay couples must face as they plan the happiest day of their lives.
'Are You Gay Friendly?'
One of the biggest challenges couples address when deciding who to invite to the wedding is which of their family members and friends are supportive of same-sex marriage.
"Some people don't mind if their nephew has a 'roommate,' but they do have an issue with gay marriage," Coveney Smith explained to us. "It's more an issue with gay marriage than with the relationship."
<div class="image-container float_left" style="width:400px"><div class="image"></div><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/sosialistiskvenstreparti/2901879544/">Flickr/Marius Talmo /SV</a></div>The question also comes up in relation to vendors, since 29 states <a href="http://thetaskforce.org/downloads/reports/issue_maps/non_discrimination_1_12_color.pdf">don't recognize sexual orientation</a> in their anti-discrimination laws, meaning that it's perfectly legal for a florist or country club in Texas to tell an LGBT couple that they refuse to plan the wedding because they're gay or transgendered.
"There's also more subtle discrimination: Not returning phone calls or emails, or all of a sudden becoming booked once they realize it's a same-sex wedding," Coveney Smith added.
So unless they hire a wedding planner to do it for them, the couple must come out to every vendor, venue, and photographer they contact. "Many of the vendors I refer my clients to are also gay-owned businesses, so they speak the language, they understand the culture, and they're obviously more than happy to work on a same-sex wedding," Coveney Smith said.
Thinking beyond the traditional 'Bride and Groom'
The wedding industry is very bride-focused: Forms and contracts refer to the "bride and groom," vendors say "bridal party," people sit on either the "bride's side" or "groom's side." And most traditional "bridal" magazines portray the norm as one woman and one man.
<div class="image-container float_right" style="width:400px"><div class="image"></div><a href="http://www.apimages.com/OneUp.aspx?st=k&amp;kw=denmark%20gay%20marriage&amp;showact=results&amp;sort=relevance&amp;intv=None&amp;sh=10&amp;kwstyle=and&amp;adte=1363975865&amp;pagez=60&amp;cfasstyle=AND&amp;rids=357bf2a8f40349aa8c24eceaba897b39&amp;dbm=PY2012&amp;page=1&amp;xslt=1&amp;mediatype=Photo">AP Photo/POLFOTO, Jens Dige</a></div>It's up to the couple how they decide to break those traditions. Choosing what to wear can be a very personal choice, for instance. Do two lesbian brides want to wear two suits, a suit and a dress, or two dresses? Do two grooms want to wear the same tux, or one white and one black? Or does the couple simply want to wear whatever they like?
Tradition also dictates the bride walks down the aisle, but for couples with two brides or two grooms, the answer isn't as obvious. "We often will have the couple walking in holding hands, or if the space works, we'll use two aisles and eliminate the question of 'Who's the bride?' all together," Coveney Smith explained.
And even though most gay <keyword id="6367159" type="COMPANY" weightage="60" keywordseo="Weddings">weddings</keyword> are not in a place of worship, that doesn't mean certain religious traditions aren't included in the ceremony that need to be updated for a same-sex marriage. If a gay Jewish couple is getting married for example, the tradition of the man breaking the glass might evolve into the couple breaking two glasses or taking turns breaking the glass together.
Decisions after the wedding may be complicated, too
Since same-sex marriage is still illegal in certain states and countries around the world, deciding where to go on the honeymoon can be a challenge.
"If they travel together internationally or throughout the country, that marriage is mostly invalid. So they basically have to carry around this extra paperwork [proving their relationship in the case of a medical emergency], which costs thousands of dollars in attorney fees," Coveney Smith explained.
This also affects couples taking one another's name, or creating a new name together. Said Coveney Smith: "If they get a legal marriage in New York and then go back to Texas — that name change wouldn't apply just by presenting the marriage license. They'd have to actually go through the court system to change their name."
And the issue only gets more complicated when children are involved, leading to more paperwork, attorney fees, and issues to address such as second parent adoption.
Stay true to who you are
Even though all of these issues pose a serious challenge to same-sex couples when they're planning their wedding, Coveney Smith encouraged them to remain optimistic and stay true to who they are.
"Don't have a boring wedding if you're not a boring couple. If you really like drag queens (like some of my clients do) then have a drag queen. If you really like go-go dancers, have go-go dancers at your wedding," she said.
"Your wedding should be an expression of who you are, and it should be really fun."

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