<img src="https://static-ssl.businessinsider.com/image/5b4628804474db3d008b45f7-1173/withdrawal.jpg" alt="sick woman flu withdrawal" />ShutterstockIt's important to be prepared in case you get sick.<ul class="summary-list"><li>Aisling Carroll is a former reporter and Huffington Post contributor.</li><li>She was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at the age of 32, and knows all too well the challenge of taking care of yourself while stuck in bed due to illness.</li><li>Carroll emphasizes the importance of keeping your living space tidy and having a stash of clean sheets, towels, and blankets in the bedroom to keep your bed linens as clean and fresh-feeling as possible.</li><li><a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/?hprecirc-bullet">Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories</a>.</li></ul>Let's say you get COVID-19. Maybe you are not sick enough to require hospitalization. But you are fast-approaching a stretch of being bedridden with fever, extreme weakness, and an insatiable desire for sleep. How can you prepare for this? <img src="https://static-ssl.businessinsider.com/image/5e8e30c8b3b09277146f8c86-549/aisling carroll.jpg" alt="Aisling Carroll" />Courtesy of Aisling CarrollAisling Carroll.As someone who has clocked way north of 1,000 days under my duvet - fighting ovarian cancer, flus due to a compromised immune system, and tanking blood pressure - I have some thoughts on how to make it the smallest bit easier. While you have the strength and focus, line up your medications and array your tissues. Then do this: Make your bathroom sink faucet shine. Housekeeping and your health align. Before you got sick, you might have taken no heed of a book-strewn bedside table, a spotty bathroom mirror, or some sweatshirts swamping a bedroom chair. But when you're sick, this mess can depress. So start tidying up. Banish everything from your bedside table and wipe it down. Put all your clothes, accessories, and random things away so your bedroom looks minimal to the max. In the bathroom, clean like you're having Michelle Obama over for dinner. When you're sick, these touches of order will be soothing and make you feel that you've got this. Prepare the Holy Trinity: sheets, towels, and blankets. When your habitat shrinks to the size of a sheet, that sheet matters! I don't know anything about thread count, but I do know that crisp, springy cotton trumps a sheet that feels like a damp, clingy t-shirt. Clean sheets and pillowcases were the salve that made me feel like the following hours were going to be better. You can administer this hope by keeping a stack of freshly laundered sheets, towels, and a favorite blanket next to your bed. Even if you don't have the energy to change your sheets when sick - I didn't - you might be able to push an existing top sheet away and cover yourself in a new one. Buy bendable straws. To make it easier to down multiple glasses of water next to my bed, I used recycled straws. They not only save you the energy of having to pick up a heavy-seeming glass, they also make it less likely that you'll spill the contents if you're shaky or weak. I would buy the multi-colored striped or neon ones because they made me think of a happy six-year-old's birthday party.When you start to feel unwell, here's what to do:Wash your hair. As soon as I felt the telltale signs that my body was about to crash, I'd rush to the shower to wash my hair. This was because when I was sick, I didn't have the energy to shampoo it. So I needed to go into the bad days with up-to-the-minute clean hair. After several days in bed, this would help prevent it from giving off a sad, sour milk smell. And if I was feeling ambitious, I would put my hair in hot rollers after washing. This was my way of giving a small f-you to the sickness: bad day, good hair. Send texts to close family and friends saying you're not feeling well and that you may be down for a few days. When I was sick, I often didn't have the strength to respond to texts, so I'd go dark. But by giving the ones I'm closest to a heads up, they didn't become alarmed when I didn't text back, and they also checked-in. Their "XO" texts touched and fueled me over and over. Earplugs. The whirr of my body taking a few hits could feel loud, not to mention the sounds of anything else that went on around me. Foam earplugs cut some of the noise so your body gets the necessary quiet to recover. Noise-canceling headphones work, too, but they can feel heavy, as well as awkward if you sleep on your side. Put a phone charger next to your bed. When my body was a boxing ring, the thought of walking to another room, bending down to unplug a charger, walking back and plugging it in next to my bed was akin to reaching up to the sky to push Mars closer to Mercury. Grab the charger now. When you start to feel the sickness ease up, you will be shocked to do the simple things again: sit up without becoming winded, send a thank you text, look in reverence at the end of your bed, walk to the kitchen. Some of the most unimaginably sweet moments of my life have been these. If you have to be sick, hopefully, you will get these moments, too.Aisling Carroll was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at 32. A former Washington, D.C. reporter and Huffington Post contributor, she has spent over a decade clawing her way back to the well world - one doctor, drug, and hot roller at a time.<a href="/intelligence/digital-health?IR=T&amp;itm_source=businessinsider&amp;itm_medium=ctgr_bii&amp;itm_term=ctgr_subscription&amp;itm_content=health&amp;itm_campaign=digital-health"><img src="https://static.businessinsider.com/image/5cf6b11111e205471c5718a4" alt="Digital Health Pro" style="width: 100% !important" /></a> Featured Health Articles: - <a href="/telehealth-industry-explained">Telehealth Industry Explained</a> - <a href="/value-based-care-pay-for-performance-healthcare-model">Value-Based Care Explained</a> - <a href="/senior-care-market-trends">Senior Care &amp; Assisted Living Market</a> - <a href="/wearable-technology-healthcare-medical-devices">Smart Medical Devices &amp; Wearable Tech</a> - <a href="/artificial-intelligence-healthcare">AI in Healthcare</a> - <a href="/remote-patient-monitoring-industry-explained">Remote Patient Monitoring Explained</a>- <a href="/ai-medical-diagnosis-report">AI in Medical Diagnosis Systems</a> <h3>NOW WATCH: <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/melissa-maker-clean-your-home-quickly-cleaning-expert-2017-4">A cleaning expert reveals her 3-step method for cleaning your entire home quickly</a></h3> <iframe class="bijwplayerclass" src="https://content.jwplatform.com/players/qf7yml7t-CEZHWCBG.html" width="100%" height="100%" frameborder="0" scrolling="auto" style="margin:0px;"></iframe>

I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer at age 32. Here's my best advice for preparing yourself and your home for being sick.

<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table float_right"><div><div class="image on-image"><img src="https://static-ssl.businessinsider.com/image/5780f54edd089522548b4616-800/img_3537.jpg" alt="Sense by Hello sleep tracker" data-mce-source="Business Insider/James Cook" />Business Insider/James CookThe Sense sleep tracker glows green when it's happy.</div></div></div>How much sleep do you get every night? Chances are you have a vague idea, but it would be handy to know how much you sleep, and how well you sleep as well.Sense is a £150 sleep tracker made in the US that <a href="https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/hello/sense-know-more-sleep-better">originated from a Kickstarter campaign in 2014</a> that brought in over $2 million (£1.5 million). It uses an orb-shaped device on your bedside table and a pillow clip to measure things like movement, humidity, and air quality.I used Sense for over two weeks to measure my sleep and also to track the environment in my bedroom. Here's what I found:

I used a &#163;150 sleep tracker to find out just how badly I sleep every night

<ul><li><keyword id="554193" type="PERSON" weightage="20" keywordseo="Arianna-Huffington">Arianna Huffington</keyword> of <keyword id="3562082" type="PERSON" weightage="20" keywordseo="thrive-global">Thrive Global</keyword> spoke about the importance of connecting well-being with performance at the <keyword id="1956221" type="PERSON" weightage="20" keywordseo="India-Economic-Conclave">India Economic Conclave</keyword> held in Mumbai in a FireSide Chat with Sadhguru, the founder of the Isha Foundation. </li><li>Implementing micro-changes like putting your phone in its own bed could go a long way in ‘designing a life that works for you’. </li><li>While ‘putting your phone to bed’ may sound silly to some, human beings learn best through rituals. </li><li>Reducing the friction in your life, goes a long way in decreasing the amount of maintenance that your body needs — otherwise fifty percent of your life goes towards downtime, she said.</li></ul>It’s normal for most of us to go to bed with own phone’s still in our hands or right next to us on the bedside table. We believe that the more time we spend engaging in ‘productive’ activities, the more productive we are, overall. But that may not necessarily be true according to Arianna Huffington of Thrive Global and Sadhguru, the founder of Isha Foundation. During the session titled, ‘Ease of living - Ensuring productive, efficient society,’ the two shared tips and micro-changes that people can implement in order to ‘design a life that works for them’. One of those micro-changes can potentially be just putting your phone in its own bed at night. Why <keyword id="10833" type="ORGANIZATION" weightage="20" keywordseo="Phones">phones</keyword> need their own beds “It has never been easier to run away from ourselves because we’re all increasingly linked with our phones that we carry everywhere — that is the repository of every project, of every problem, and that we sleep with it — which is totally absurd,” said Huffington. Sleeping with your phone means that it’s much harder for you to connect with your own body’s user’s manual as per Sadhguru. And, that’s where the ‘phone-bed’ comes in. The phone-bed by Thrive, in its essence, is just a charging a station. But more than the bed, it’s about a ritual, Huffington pointed out It’s one of the reasons why the phone-bed comes with its own blanket — people can use it to actually ‘tuck in’ their phones, say good night, and put their phones soundly to bed, outside their own bedroom. Her logic is that human beings learn through rituals and if everyone has one at night, they’re more likely to stick to it. She adds, “Everybody never comes to a point in the day where they say, ‘I’ve done everything that I could’ve possibly have done’ — if you can say that then you don’t have any interest in your job and I suggest you change jobs.” So putting your phone to bed is your way of implementing an arbitrary end to the day — to able to connect with yourself. Huffington iterated that, “Success is not determined by how many hours you spend on your desk, it depends on the quality of your decisions, on your ability to see around corners at what’s going to happen and on your ability to motivate others — to inspire teams. And all of these things deteriorate when we have not been connected with ourselves.” According to her, this is because society is plagued with collective delusion, which actually stems from the first industrial revolution, that the goal for human beings is identical to that of machines — to always be on. But, in fact, a little more downtime could go a long in way making sure that the time we do spend working, is actually more productive. Disclaimer: Business Insider India was invited to the India Economic Conclave by Thrive India.

Here’s why your phone needs its own bed — it’s time you tuck it in at night and say good night

<img class="gwt-Image" src="/photo/55292488.cms" /> <keyword id="36208" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="20" keywordseo="festive-season">Festive season</keyword> will continue till New Year and it’s time to not just give yourself a facelift, but also your homes, restaurants and offices one too. Whether it’s your office, home or restaurant – they are just walls that get a personality only when you put in your passion into them. No matter what kind of design, wall texture or furniture you choose, it is always the lighting that adds character and defines the mood of that particular space. The best way to start is at the very beginning. 
 
The genesis 
 
Start with identifying the task that each space is set apart for, such as will it be a study, a lounge or your kitchen. Then choose the types of light to create the right mood for each space. 
The living room or the family room is where the whole family spends time together or individually. These rooms don the caps of being a discussion room, TV room, playing games etc. Hence we can try multiple mood settings in this space. 
Get yourself surface and recessed lights, highlight corners with clusters of droplights. Spotlights on particular art work or portraits also go well here. Whatever be your choice, try and complement the lights to the overall look and feel of the room. 
You can also use track lights in the ceiling to light up art works. The light spreads evenly does not distract from the pictures. 
Dimmers also are great to change the mood of the space. 
 
Unwind 
The dining area is a space where a family not only shares food, but also the day’s happenings. Sometimes, this space is also used to play card games or catching up with old friends over that cuppa. Hence, it is best to have ambient lighting in the form of cove lights, recess lights or a drop over the table. 
If you do not have a very large dining space use large mirrors opposite the table to create an illusion of space. Table lamps over consoles and buffet cabinets can add depth. If you are displaying your crockery in a glass shutter with mirrors at the back, placing spot lights inside is a great way to draw attention your prized China. 
 
Stir it up 
Every woman is possessive of her kitchen as she spends most of her time creating her gourmet dishes there. With contemporary cooking styles and foods, the very act of cooking has become a family affair. Try and use task lights below the counter to make cutting and cooking easy. Drops over the breakfast table allow you to use that space for reading or writing too. 
A light-colored paint is best for the ceiling as it reflects light. 
 
Signing off 
 
It’s always great to get into that private space even in your own home – your bedroom. It is not a place of rejuvenation, but also reflects the personality of its residents. Having multiple lighting options in your bedroom is great to begin with. If you have a corner dedicated to a writing desk go in for ample task lighting. Add in a bedside lamp, a floor lamp in a corner or a chandelier to create some drama. 
 
Don’t drain that look 
 
<img class="gwt-Image" src="/photo/55292495.cms" /> 
 
The bathroom can be boring or interesting, depending on your design talent. It is that space where one is literally left all by oneself – thinking of great ideas. Try and use mirrors on either side of the walls and give it the best lighting with dimmers to give it that stylish effect. 
 
 (This article is authored by <keyword id="3821823" type="PERSON" weightage="20" keywordseo="gaurav-rai">Gaurav Rai</keyword>,Co-founder, The Purple Turtles)

Give your home a facelift with these smart designs and intelligent lighting

<a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/insiderpicks" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Insider Picks</a> writes about products and services to help you navigate when shopping online. Insider Inc. receives a commission from our affiliate partners when you buy through our links, but our reporting and recommendations are always independent and objective.<a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Felfa%2Fdrawerplanner%2Findex.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener"><div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image"><img src="https://static-ssl.businessinsider.com/image/5cc20dcdb14bf467a946947c-1200/elfa.jpg" border="0" alt="elfa" data-mce-source="The Container Store Instagram" />The Container Store InstagramWhite mesh drawers, casters, and a butcher block on top.</div></div></div></a><ul class="summary-list"><li><a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Fwelcome.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Container Store</a> is the place to go for great organizational tools and storage units.</li><li>When looking for a nightstand for my small city bedroom, I ended up searching there and found the Elfa Mesh Closet Drawer System <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Felfa%2Fdrawerplanner%2Findex.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">(from $100)</a>.</li><li>While it's not technically a nightstand, I customized <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Felfa%2Fdrawerplanner%2Findex.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">this unit</a> so it's the perfect size next to my bed. It works as a nightstand, storage unit, and great way to maximize space in a small area.</li><li>While it cost more than I would spend on a nightstand, it's a multipurpose unit I know I can make good use of for years to come</li></ul>Being in my twenties in New York City, I know that the apartment I'm in now won't be mine forever. That's why, when I first moved in, I decided to prioritize buying pieces that are particularly functional, rather than ones that just look good. That fact - plus a small room and closet situation - prompted me to search for a nightstand that could serve double duty and provide some extra storage. My search led me to the epicenter of all things storage: <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Fwelcome.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Container Store</a>. There, I designed my own <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Felfa%2Fdrawerplanner%2Findex.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Elfa Mesh Closet Drawer System</a> and it's probably one of the smartest purchases I've made for my apartment. <h2>The Elfa Mesh Closet Drawer System</h2><a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Felfa%2Findex.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Elfa</a> is exclusive to <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Fwelcome.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The Container Store</a>, known for its best-selling closet solutions that maximize space and make organizing easy. The Mesh Closet Drawer System is a free-standing storage unit with a frame made with Elfa's signature, durable, epoxy-bonded steel, and filled with finely-woven mesh drawers that can hold all sorts of products, even really little ones.You can choose to purchase a <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Fs%2Felfa%2Fbest-selling-solutions%2Fdrawer-units%2Fwhite-elfa-mesh-closet-drawers%2F123d%3FproductId%3D10014851" target="_blank" rel="noopener">pre-made unit</a> or customize your own with specific dimensions for what you're looking for. Whether you choose to make your own or go for the ready-made option, you can pick from an all-white or a classic silver mesh.I chose to make my own unit to be sure it would fit in my room. Elfa has a <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Felfa%2Fdrawerplanner%2Findex.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">custom drawer planner</a> online, which guides you through the customization process and helps you see what the unit will look like in real time. Here's a quick overview of how you can customize the unit:1. Pick a color: The options are easy, white or silver. The silver definitely has a more industrial look, so I went for white.2. Pick a height: <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Felfa%2Fdrawerplanner%2Findex.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Options</a> range from 17.5 to 81 inches tall. The taller you go, the more storage you can get. I chose a 29-inch unit, which works perfectly as a bedside table next to my 1- inch bed frame and 10-inch mattress. 3. Pick a width: Sizes start at 10 inches (extra narrow) and go up to 22 inches (extra wide). I went for medium at 18 inches.4. Top it off: You can cover the unit with a surface of either white melamine, driftwood melamine, a butcher block, or leave the top open. I went with the white for a monochromatic look. 5. Pick feet, labels, and stops: <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Felfa%2Fdrawerplanner%2Findex.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Choose</a> frame feet for a unit you want to stay in place, or casters (which are like wheels) if you want more mobility. Add stops if you want to ensure your drawers never fall out. I didn't buy stops, but my unit is pushed against a wall, and I haven't had any issues with drawers coming out of the frame. I didn't add label holders, but if you're trying to get really organized, these could be a good addition.6. Choose your drawers: Instead of S, M, L, drawers are sized as 1, 2, or 3 - indicating how many runners each drawer needs to fit in the unit. One is the shallowest drawer and 3 is the deepest. How tall you make your unit will determine how many drawers you can fit. My 29 inch unit has 7 runners, so I filled it with one 3-runner, one 2-runner, and two 1-runners. The 3-runner is on the bottom, holding bulky items like backup toiletries and cleaning supplies. The 2-runner is in the middle, holding similar products, though it fits a tad less. The top two drawers are 1-runners, which hold paper goods and other small supplies. Ultimately, <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Felfa%2Fdrawerplanner%2Findex.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">my unit</a> cost just over $150.<h2>Bottom Line</h2>These drawers are not cheap, but their value lies in their functionality. With ability to customize height, width, and drawer sizes, you can easily build a system that's perfect for your storage needs. If you have the space and aren't too particular, you can make it even easier and just buy one of the <a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Fs%2Felfa%2Fbest-selling-solutions%2Fdrawer-units%2Fwhite-elfa-mesh-closet-drawers%2F123d%3FproductId%3D10014851" target="_blank" rel="noopener">pre-made systems</a>.<a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Felfa%2Fdrawerplanner%2Findex.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The drawers</a> make everything you put inside easily accessible, and the finely-woven mesh construction provides the perfect balance of visibility and privacy, so you can find your objects easily without putting everything on display. The neutral colors and minimal style make this unit a timeless piece that can fit in just about any room and be used for storing just about anything, making it well-worth the up-front expense. <h3><a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Felfa%2Fdrawerplanner%2Findex.htm" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Create your own Elfa Mesh Closet Drawer System, available at The Container Store, from $100</a></h3><h3><a href="https://click.linksynergy.com/deeplink?id=EHFxW6yx8Uo&amp;mid=37353&amp;murl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.containerstore.com%2Fs%2Felfa%2Fbest-selling-solutions%2Fdrawer-units%2Fwhite-elfa-mesh-closet-drawers%2F123d%3FproductId%3D10014851" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Get a ready-made White Elfa Mesh Closet Drawer System, available at The Container Store, from $150</a></h3> <a href="http://e.businessinsider.com/join/ci/insider-picks">Subscribe to our newsletter.</a> Find all the best offers at our <a href="https://coupons.businessinsider.com/">Coupons page</a>. Disclosure: This post is brought to you by the <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/insiderpicks">Insider Picks</a> team. We highlight products and services you might find interesting. If you buy them, we get a small share of the revenue from the sale from our commerce partners. We frequently receive products free of charge from manufacturers to test. This does not drive our decision as to whether or not a product is featured or recommended. We operate independently from our advertising sales team. We welcome your feedback. Email us at insiderpicks@businessinsider.com.

This customized drawer unit from the Container Store was one of the most practical purchases I've made for my small apartment

<div type="image" title="IMG_0435" height="1875" width="2500" msid="76928315" hostid="261"></div><ul class="summary-list"><li>Writer Todd Wasserman woke up from a coma in January 2019 with very few memories of the last three decades of his life.</li><li>He remembered his daughter's birth and adopting his son, but didn't recognize his wife.</li><li><keyword id="21310" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="Memory-loss">Memory loss</keyword> is a surprisingly common side-effect of cardiac arrests — half of all <keyword id="6360040" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="people">people</keyword> who survive them emerge with cognitive function problems.</li><li>This is his story of trying to piece his life back together, remembering what he could and recovering.</li></ul>I ended 2018 on a high note. After working as a freelance journalist for several years, I had steady gigs and was making good money. I had just bought a new house in New Jersey — for cash — and envisioned buying rental properties and continuing to write as I rode out my 50s.On January 2, 2019, my life took an unexpected turn.I went jogging that day, as I did every morning. Shortly after I got home, my wife Nina took our house guest, a German exchange student, to get registered at the local high school.When I got in from the run, I had some difficulty breathing. So before my wife left, I asked her for her asthma inhaler and complained of feeling "off." There were no other signs of what was about to happen.Shortly after they left, I sat down on the couch and fell unconscious."Your face turned purple or blue and you made a noise that sounded like a cow," my daughter, Willow, told me. "I thought you were making some weird joke, but you weren't."Willow, 11 at the time, grabbed my phone and called my wife.Nina answered but Willow was too hysterical to explain what was happening. Willow ran to the next-door neighbor's house but no one answered. She called my wife back and asked if she should dial 911.Unable to understand her mother, she decided to make the call, saving my life.Minutes later EMTs arrived at the house and tried resuscitating me with a defibrillator. By that point, my heart had stopped and my brain was losing oxygen.After several minutes, the EMTs finally got my heart beating again. I was intubated and rushed to the hospital, where I spent the next three days in a coma.<h2>Waking up</h2><div type="image" title="IMG_0896" height="1739" width="2319" msid="76928319" hostid="261"></div>Within the first day or two, my parents, brother, and sisters were gathered in my hospital room looking for signs of life.I didn't wake up for three days. When I did, I still couldn't speak because I had a feeding tube in my throat.My sister Elizabeth said my family sat by my hospital bed, making jokes about crunchy cookies one of my friends made, wondering if the crunching sound they made would wake me up."We asked you to blink if you understood what we were saying," Elizabeth told me later. "And we established that you did. It took a long time — hours — until you moved your hands or limbs."Later, after the tube came out, Elizabeth played some old songs, possibly Elvis Costello, and I started singing along from my bed."You knew every word," she would later tell me.Music was a connection between us: As the younger sibling, I was always borrowing records from her, and she had a big influence on my musical tastes.Nina was at home when I opened my eyes. She raced to the hospital, thrilled that I was alive.But she soon figured out that I didn't know who she was.<div type="image" title="IMG_0369" height="4032" width="3024" msid="76928321" hostid="261"></div>"There was no spark of recognition in your gaze," she told me.When people gather around a hospital bedside for someone who had a near-death experience, they expect the sufferer to clutch to remnants of what they experienced. Not me. "You looked like you accepted everything," Nina said.A few days later, they took the tube out so I could speak. My wife told me my first words to her were "Is this a family unit or what?"It might have sounded sweet, but I was quoting "Raising Arizona."I have no memory of saying it, so I can't explain my thinking. From the vantage point of more than a year later, I'd guess I was trying to cover, to say something personal.But it was clear I was experiencing profound memory loss."You thought Mom was some lady from Applegate," Willow said, referencing a nearby ice cream parlor."At one point, you thought I was your sister," Nina said.How could I be so out of my head?<h2>Half of people who survive cardiac arrests have lingering issues like memory loss</h2>I understand now that I had developed a <keyword id="114979" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="Brain-injury">brain injury</keyword>. I didn't know at the time, but half of all people who survive a sudden cardiac arrest like I did <a href="https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2015/04/150417085222.htm">emerge with problems with cognitive functions</a> like memory and attention deficits.It took me many months to appreciate the full scope of the damage. I don't recall what I was thinking, but it must have been chaotic. At one point, I thought my wife had kidnapped me."Most people think if you get injured, you go to the hospital, you get treatment, you recover, you get better, you go home," Gregory Ayotte of the Brain Injury Association of America told me. "The thing about brain injury is the timeline for recovery is beyond what most people think."My recovery took about 18 months. During that time, my conception of myself as a capable person was cast into doubt. That's what happens when you spend the better part of a year getting basic instruction in things like tying your shoes and buttoning your shirt.Looking back now, I realize I came out of the coma reset to my childhood self: I recognized my mother, father and siblings, but not my wife. Anyone I had met after I was a teenager was a stranger to me.I did recognize my kids, though. They seemed to live on in another area of my brain.<div type="image" title="IMG_0389" height="2755" width="3674" msid="76928323" hostid="261"></div>When people asked me my age, I initially said I was 10 years old.Later, I adjusted that to 30. When the doctors told me I was 50, I couldn't believe it. Or so my wife tells me. It's still fuzzy.Eventually, I reconciled my self-image to that of a middle-aged father. It's not that I forgot about the past 30 years, but I had to learn to question that inner voice that bubbled up and assessed my current interactions from the standpoint of a teenager.While all of this was going on, the doctors' projections weren't rosy."Nobody said, 'He'll be fine in a few months,'" my wife told me. "They were just like, 'He's breathing. You're lucky.'"Nina thought I'd be coming home in a wheelchair, disabled for life."I was in shock," she said. "I didn't think that deeply about it. I was thinking about handicapped accessibility in the house and where we'd put a wheelchair. Incontinence was a huge fear for me."I don't recall any of this. I pieced it together based on what Nina and others told me later. What I remember is a dreamlike fugue state in which I interacted with a lot of family and old friends in a large rec room.In reality, I spent most of January 2019 in the Kessler Institute for Rehabilitation in West Orange, New Jersey. It wasn't far from the house my family had moved into just six months before my injury. In reality, friends and family came thousands of miles to see me partially because they thought it would be the last time they'd see me.<h2>The memories are hazy</h2>I have dim memories from that time.At one point during the hospital stay, I remember they put about six of us patients at a table, like we were having a meeting, but we were all talking gibberish to ourselves. I dimly remember that now, but it seems like a different person's memories. I don't remember a single night I spent at the hospital.At the end of the month I was allowed to go home. I didn't recognize my house.<div type="image" title="IMG_0417" height="1875" width="2500" msid="76928327" hostid="261"></div>I didn't remember my 50th birthday party in October 2018, or leaving my job at Mashable to go freelance in 2016. I call up web stories I wrote then and still don't remember writing them.I still don't remember Donald Trump's election. When the nurses asked me who the president was I initially said "Obama?"That's a shock because my memory had always been great. When I was young, my parents never needed a TV Guide. They'd just ask me, "What's on tonight?"I remember where I was on New Year's Eve 1980 — at my uncle's house for a family party. I also remember New Year's Eve 1990, celebrating the new year at a motel with a bunch of my friends. I remember day camp in 1978 when I met a kid who called himself "Coach" and asked the same X-rated question over and over.But I was fuzzy on anything from the 2010s to now. I still am.I look at pictures of myself from the past few years and don't recall what I was doing. The photos serve as touchpoints for events, but they don't evoke any context.Here's a selfie on my birthday in October 2018 looking stone-faced for the camera. I recognize where it was taken — in my bedroom — but I don't remember the details about it. The only thing I notice today is that I look a bit heavier than I am now. (I lost about 20 lbs. in the hospital and kept it off.)<div type="image" title="IMG_0063" height="1280" width="960" msid="76928329" hostid="261"></div>I have some strong memories from that time. I remember going to Colorado for vacation in early 2018 and I remember having to fix my tire when I got a flat on the way to Crested Butte. I remember inspecting our house before we bought it, but I don't remember my daughter's birthday or my son's.<h2>Getting back to 'normal'</h2>More than a year after my injury, it still bothers me not to vividly recall moving to our new house or turning 50.I do recall the times before that, though. I remember Willow being born in 2007. And I remember going to South Korea in 2011 to adopt our son, Caleb.During the year I recovered, I began making new memories. I started driving again; I took the dog for long walks; I caught up on "Better Call Saul."Ironically, I was finally ready for work earlier this year, just as the coronavirus pandemic crashed the economy.Today, I feel I've won back my kids' trust. My incident was jarring, particularly for my son.After a year of recovery, the only changes to my daily life are that I tend to go to bed earlier (like 10:30 p.m.) and I can no longer drink alcohol.Considering I almost died, I can deal with that.But maybe the biggest change is my attitude about death. I used to fear it.Now, having been brought to the edge of death, I'm not really scared about it. I just want to put it off for a few decades.Months after I began thinking clearly, I visited a cardiologist who worked on me at the hospital. He gave me a long look and said, "You were in pretty rough shape."I looked closely at his face. He was trying to mask what seemed like disbelief that I had pulled through.

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