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<ul class="summary-list"><li>I never liked the idea of being trapped on a boat in the middle of the ocean. </li><li>When I became a mom, I decided to take my baby on an all-inclusive cruise. </li></ul>I've <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/why-i-have-been-on-100-cruises-at-95-photos-2022-2">never been one to book cruises</a>. The idea of being trapped on a ship at sea for days on end with thousands of strangers never appealed to me, nor did the limited selection of restaurants and activities. As a long-time solo traveler, I also didn't love the fact that I'd have to pay twice as much since most cruises are priced based on double occupancy.This all changed in 2023 when I became a mom. Like many new moms, I wasn't sure <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/international-travel-with-young-kids-memories-2024-1">what traveling would look like</a> in this new stage of my life — that is, if traveling would remain a part of it at all.Suddenly, the idea of an <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/why-mom-only-books-hotels-resorts-with-kids-clubs-2022-5">all-inclusive experience</a> sounded much more appealing. Although I'd been a longtime cruise naysayer, I decided to take a chance last month and solo travel with my then 8-month-old daughter on a Royal Caribbean cruise. By the time we disembarked, I was already planning our next cruise.Here's why I loved <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/disney-cruise-with-baby-toxic-family-2023-4">cruising with a baby</a>, and why I'll do it again.<h2 id="5258b9ed-52aa-466e-b78e-f0d5070f0d0d">Onboard childcare made traveling so much easier</h2>I knew Royal Caribbean (and many other cruise lines) offered <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/mediocre-clubmed-wed-go-back-to-for-the-childcare-2022-8">a kids club</a>, but I assumed it was for older children. When a notification popped up on the Royal Caribbean app letting me know that there was an onboard nursery, I was absolutely giddy.The nursery was our first stop after getting settled into our cabin. They offered childcare for babies between 6 and 36 months with trained staff, and the space included cribs, age-appropriate toys, and cuddles galore. There were multiple staff members on duty to ensure babies had plenty of one-on-one care.Rates started at just $6 an hour, a steal compared to the $25 to 30 <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/childcare-too-expensive-unaffordable-2024-3">hourly rate I pay for childcare</a> back home. Having a childcare option on board gave me a chance to recharge, allowing me to be fully present with my daughter during the rest of our time on board.<h2 id="a389a0ea-1e4d-42bd-a104-16973956932c">The staff was incredibly kind and went out of their way to make our experience memorable</h2>One of the things that sticks with me most about our cruise is how friendly and kind the staff were during our entire sailing. Whether we were eating dinner in the main dining room, walking around the pool deck, or attending a show, the staff went above and beyond. In fact, many of the staff we met were parents themselves, and we spent a lot of time sharing baby photos and tips for surviving the crawling stage.While it may sound small, the special mini towel animal waiting in our room for my daughter really brought a smile to my face, as did the bowls of mashed potatoes, dinner rolls, and fruit that the staff would bring us at dinner unprompted.<h2 id="f3adfd68-51dd-413b-8d75-a6fcd7e44ba9">Cruise ships offer flexibility to adapt to a baby's mood easily</h2>On a cruise ship, there are dozens of options for dining, entertainment, and activities right outside your door, making it an incredibly flexible vacation option. Changing the day's itinerary was as easy as pressing a different elevator button.What was originally planned to be a pool day could easily turn into a stroller walk through the onboard park or taking my daughter to a family festival, depending on our moods at any given time. This flexibility was especially handy for a mom traveling solo.<h2 id="4490ca83-8240-44a3-b510-3358b01a58cc">The onboard dining options were surprisingly baby-friendly</h2>My daughter was 8 months old on this cruise, which means we were in the thick of introducing solids. From now on, I will always recommend new parents take a cruise at this age because it made baby-led weaning incredibly easy.At both the buffet and specialty restaurants, my daughter was able to sample dozens of foods to explore flavors and textures galore. She even fell in love with asparagus at the onboard steakhouse. And best of all, I didn't have to cook — nor clean — a thing.<h2 id="a4dd1c9d-6025-4471-84b5-93a16e49151e">Once we made it onboard, we could stop "traveling" and start vacationing</h2>Flying with an infant is no simple feat, so I especially appreciated that our travels ended once we made it onto the ship. After we settled into our cabin, the traveling came to us — and as a solo mom, I can't imagine an easier way to travel with an infant. We woke up to endless ocean views one morning and the Bahamas the next — all without having to drag a carseat, stroller, and luggage through a town or onto another plane.I never suspected I'd fall in love with cruising, but after this trip, my daughter and I will be setting sail for many years to come.

I took my 8-month-old on a cruise. I was surprised at how baby-friendly it was, and I'm ready to go on one again.

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Baby-led weaning has become the new hot trend among new parents.</li><li>The author published a weaning-related Instagram post that went viral, and it suggested many parents feel judged about their choices.</li><li>She shares three tips on how to better feed children, regardless of the method parents choose.</li></ul>My baby was just <a href="https://www.insider.com/moms-searching-breast-milk-with-covid-19-antibodies-risks-benefits-2021-4">starting to eat solids</a>, and I was so excited. I wanted to tell a friend with older kids how adorable my 6-month-old was messily <keyword id="56027" type="PERSON" weightage="60" keywordseo="Feeding">feeding</keyword> himself purees.When I did, she said, "Well, we decided to do baby-led weaning. It was the right decision for us. It was the best." Deflated, I stopped hearing the rest of her story. I could feel the judgment past the words that seemed nonjudgmental.As a brand-new mom - even a dietitian - the people who made me feel the worst during that first year were the <a href="https://www.insider.com/your-kids-may-not-grow-out-of-picky-eaters-study-2020-5">people who were passionate about baby-led weaning</a>. ⁠My friends who didn't breastfeed tell me they felt the same way when they hear "<a href="https://www.insider.com/photos-show-the-painful-realities-of-breastfeeding-2020-7">breast is best.</a>" Baby-led weaning, or BLW, is when you introduce solid foods without pureeing them first, allowing babies to self-feed and regulate what and how much they want to eat. Evidence shows that there are several ways of introducing solids: purees, baby led, or a mix of both. S<a href="https://parentingscience.com/how-to-start-babies-on-solid-food/">tudies show that child outcomes</a> are similar regardless of the way they are introduced to solid food. Also, there's no perfect way of doing it.<h2>Deep down, we want to do what's best for our babies</h2>When we hear "baby-led weaning is best" and it's "backed by studies," we drop everything and learn how to serve an avocado spear to a baby.<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5438437/">Many baby-led weaning studies</a> show it's a <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31939505/">great way to wean from breast</a> or bottle.<a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30853451/">My favorite study</a>, however, compares the details about the parents who use different weaning methods. The authors' conclusion is that the success of one weaning method against the other is a little less about the texture of the baby food and much more about how the parents feed babies - whether purees or solids. It's also about how much money, education, and resources the parents have.On <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kids.eat.in.color">Kids Eat in Color</a>, my Instagram account, I'm always talking about how I did "whatever I want" weaning. I did a few purees, got an old-fashioned <a href="https://amzn.to/2UG17LJ">baby-food grinder</a> to grind table food at the table, learned to cook family food on the more mushy side, and learned a few evidence-based guidelines for feeding my child from infancy and on.<h2>3 tips for weaning using evidence-based principles</h2>Following are three tips that have helped me and the parents we work with to more confidently feed our children, even those deemed "<a href="https://kidseatincolor.com/picky-eating/">picky eaters</a>." These tips are flexible for many family situations, including baby-led weaning and puree feeding. These principles can help kids eat a larger variety of foods over time, and help reduce picky eating.1. Let your baby decide whether to eat, and how much.Wait for your baby to open their mouth and put their head forward before you put food in it, or let them feed themselves. Let them get down when they're finished eating without pressuring them to eat more, even if it's only two bites.2. You decide what's on the menu, where your baby eats, and when to serve solid-food meals.You're running the show, so you get to serve a wide variety of food, even if they choose not to eat it. The more flavors your child is exposed to the better. Also, set regular meal times, and serve them in a place where your child can sit down.3. No matter how you start weaning, move your child to safely prepared family-table foods as quickly as it works for your family.If your child is getting stuck or you have concerns, check in with your medical provider.Jennifer Anderson is a registered dietitian with a master's in international <keyword id="6354750" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="health">health</keyword>, human nutrition from Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health. She is the founder and CEO of <a href="https://www.instagram.com/kids.eat.in.color/?hl=en">Kids Eat In Color</a>.

Baby-led weaning is the next 'breast is best,' but it's not the only option. Here are 3 tips for introducing solids to your child.

When you buy through our links, we may earn money from our affiliate partners. <a href="https://www.insider-inc.com/commerce-on-insider-inc/">Learn more.</a><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07F6VXB15/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=biipf_022520_dr-browns-fresh-first-silicone-feeder-review-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=B07F6VXB15&amp;linkId=0044f3942f09f07695c2925d4d325fa52f09f07695c2925d4d325fa5" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener nofollow sponsored"></a><ul class="summary-list"><li><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07F6VXB15/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=biipf_022520_dr-browns-fresh-first-silicone-feeder-review-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=B07F6VXB15&amp;linkId=0044f3942f09f07695c2925d4d325fa52f09f07695c2925d4d325fa5" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener nofollow sponsored">Dr. Brown's Fresh First Silicone Feeder</a> is an easy-to-clean alternative to the classic mesh feeder.</li><li>Available in a two-pack for $10, the silicone feeder is a bit pricier than mesh feeders, but it's worth it for the convenience it offers.</li><li>My 7-month-old daughter has tried a variety of fresh fruits using the feeder.</li></ul>I used mesh feeders to help introduce all four of my older children to solids, and they loved them. They were a safe, easy way to introduce my babies to new flavors, and I didn't have to worry about them choking.So, of course, when my fifth <keyword id="6358733" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="Baby">baby</keyword> hit 6 months old and we began the process of introducing solids, I purchased the same mesh feeder I'd always used.Unfortunately, I only got a couple uses out of it before it became caked with <keyword id="6181" type="COMPANY" weightage="60" keywordseo="Food">food</keyword> that was impossible to clean out, even after multiple rounds of scrubbing and soaking. The biggest culprit? Bananas — I just couldn't seem to get those smushed bananas out of the mesh.I resigned myself to prepared baby food, but wished I could still give my daughter the fresh food options that the feeder allowed.But here's the thing: Times have changed since I first became a parent and innovative products like <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07F6VXB15/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=biipf_022520_dr-browns-fresh-first-silicone-feeder-review-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=B07F6VXB15&amp;linkId=0044f3942f09f07695c2925d4d325fa52f09f07695c2925d4d325fa5" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener nofollow sponsored">Dr. Brown's Fresh First Silicone Feeder</a> now exist. Dr. Brown's — maker of the <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/best-baby-bottle" target="_blank" rel="noopener">best baby bottles</a> we've tested — sent me their silicone feeder to test, and I was immediately impressed by how easy it is to clean. I've been using the feeder every day for three weeks, and my daughter loves it, especially when it's filled with bananas. <h2><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07F6VXB15/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=biipf_022520_dr-browns-fresh-first-silicone-feeder-review-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=B07F6VXB15&amp;linkId=0044f3942f09f07695c2925d4d325fa52f09f07695c2925d4d325fa5" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener sponsored nofollow sponsored">Dr. Brown's silicone feeder</a> is designed like a bottle top and with a plastic handle for babies to hold</h2>Made for babies 4 months and older, the smartly designed <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07F6VXB15/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=biipf_022520_dr-browns-fresh-first-silicone-feeder-review-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=B07F6VXB15&amp;linkId=0044f3942f09f07695c2925d4d325fa52f09f07695c2925d4d325fa5" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener nofollow sponsored">Fresh First Feeder</a> resembles a nipple top on a bottle. To use it, fasten the silicone nipple portion through the base, then add food into the top, and screw the top onto the base, just like a bottle. With a cover that fits on top, it can also be taken on-the-go.The feeder has a wide BPA-free plastic handle on the bottom, which has been perfect for my daughter to grip on her own, even though she still has a bit of a shaky grasp at 7 months old. I'm a big proponent of baby-led weaning and love the fact that I can <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/when-can-babies-eat-baby-food" target="_blank" rel="noopener">safely introduce my daughter to a variety of fresh foods</a> and flavors with the <a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07F6VXB15/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=biipf_022520_dr-browns-fresh-first-silicone-feeder-review-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=B07F6VXB15&amp;linkId=0044f3942f09f07695c2925d4d325fa52f09f07695c2925d4d325fa5" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener nofollow sponsored">Fresh First Feeder</a>. It doesn't necessarily provide nutrition for your baby, as the holes are small and babies can't get a lot of sustenance from it. Rather, it's meant to introduce them to new foods and flavors. So far, my daughter has been able to try lots of fresh foods, from apples and frozen peaches from our orchard to strawberries and avocado. <h2>It's easy to clean and doubles as a teether</h2><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07F6VXB15/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=biipf_022520_dr-browns-fresh-first-silicone-feeder-review-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=B07F6VXB15&amp;linkId=0044f3942f09f07695c2925d4d325fa52f09f07695c2925d4d325fa5" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener nofollow sponsored"><div type="image" title="Dr. Brown's Fresh First Silicone Feeder" height="900" width="1200" msid="76007838" hostid="261"></div></a>By far, my favorite feature of the feeder is how easy it is to clean. Just unscrew the top from the base, remove the silicone nipple, and hand-wash it, or toss all the pieces on the top rack of the dishwasher. It's also safe to sterilize in a microwave or electric sterilizer or in boiling water. Compared to the multiple rounds of soaking and scrubbing required with mesh feeders, cleaning the silicone feeder is a breeze. The feeder also does double duty as a teether. The entire thing can be popped into the freezer to make a super convenient and tasty teether to soothe your baby's gums.<h2>The only con is that your baby might have to work at it</h2>Because it is made of silicone, the feeder is a little bit tougher for my baby to chew on and get out those tasty juices as compared to mesh feeders. I've found that I need to squeeze whatever food is in the feeder to release the juices before giving it to her. Once she gets a taste of it, she is encouraged to suck on it on her own, and then there's no stopping her.<h2>The bottom line</h2><a href="https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07F6VXB15/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&amp;tag=biipf_022520_dr-browns-fresh-first-silicone-feeder-review-20&amp;camp=1789&amp;creative=9325&amp;linkCode=as2&amp;creativeASIN=B07F6VXB15&amp;linkId=0044f3942f09f07695c2925d4d325fa52f09f07695c2925d4d325fa5" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener nofollow sponsored">Dr. Brown's Fresh First Silicone Feeder</a> is an excellent fresh food feeder. It allows me to introduce fruits to my baby with the same safety assurance of a mesh feeder but without the cleaning troubles. Plus, it's been great for soothing her swollen gums as she's teething.

I started using this silicone feeder to introduce my baby to fresh fruits — it's easier to clean than mesh and doubles as a teether

<ul class="summary-list"><li>My mom and her mother-in-law were excellent role models growing up.</li><li>I aspired to have the relationship they had.</li></ul>Being a <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/how-im-parenting-my-son-while-limiting-male-stereotypes-2021-11">mom to three boys</a> meant that the wives they chose were the closest I would ever come to having daughters of my own. Lucky for me, they made excellent choices, but I wanted to make sure I did not mess it up.Here's how I successfully navigate my relationships with my daughters-in-law.<h2 id="1b360f31-2d6c-4545-89f6-eaa46910fdf0">My mom had a great relationship with her mother-in-law</h2>I was fortunate to have an <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/im-not-a-perfect-mom-2022-6">excellent role model in my mom</a>, who revered her own mother-in-law and often referred to her as a saint. She was as close to her as she was to her own mother.My four sisters-in-law felt the same way about my mom. In the kitchen, they worked as a synchronized team: My mom never had to ask for help — they respected her and felt comfortable pitching in.When my three sons each brought home "the one," I knew I wanted the same type of relationship that my mom had with her daughters-in-law. Being the <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/inherited-mother-in-law-after-husband-died-difficult-relationship-2024-9">stereotypical evil mother-in-law</a> was my worst nightmare.<h2 id="78c9eec1-ca00-400c-b3f6-02e1d4bc4b21">I made time alone with them</h2>The three girls already felt like part of the family when my eldest son got engaged. To bond the relationship before making it official, I gave each girl a <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/spa-day-at-home-self-care-miracle-2020-5">spa certificate</a> for Christmas. My intention was to have some alone time with them to establish a sisterhood, knowing women play a key role in holding families together.Since then, we have developed a complicity within our testosterone-dominant family. Knowing the boys and their dad sometimes butt heads on some matters, I respectfully requested their aid in keeping the peace when conflicts arise. I openly expressed my desire to have a <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/signs-youre-in-a-healthy-relationship-2023-11">healthy relationship</a> and asked for help in setting boundaries.To this day, I try my best to be discreet and ensure that my questions show genuine interest rather than prying. I work to create a climate where it is safe to share and express opinions without fear of judgment.<h2 id="0da2e147-3693-45e3-8cdc-70efb728a29c">I put effort into our relationship</h2>In turn, I offered help and support rather than advice when planning their showers, socials (a thing in our neck of the woods), weddings, and baby showers. I put effort into choosing thoughtful gifts tailored to their individual needs and interests on special occasions. After giving birth to my grandsons, I prepared and delivered a week's worth of complete home-made meals for them.The girls have also expressed their appreciation to me for being supportive and not overstepping or being intrusive. They value the effort I put into nurturing the relationship between us and trust that I have their best interests at heart. About 10 years in, our relationship is still going strong. Despite our very busy lives, we make regular family gatherings and creating family traditions a priority.<h2 id="41bf1e15-7e2a-47da-a912-32353c04d0e6">I babysit my grandkids</h2>I babysit the grandkids each Thursday to give the kids and parents a break from day care. We treasure our special day together, and at the end of their workday, their moms and dads join us for a homemade meal that I prepare during naptime. After supper, I quickly bathe and jammy up the kids while the parents visit and relax before going home all ready for bed.With respect to parenting, I make sure to keep the lines of communication clear by checking with Mom without going through Dad. I show respect for everyone's parenting style by asking questions, withholding judgment, and confirming with them whenever in doubt.One of them told me that she appreciates my being open-minded to new parenting styles such as baby-led-weaning and keeping up to date on child development to help the kids be their best. I take the time to think about what they really need and simply offer help.I appreciate each of my daughters-in-law as if they were my own girls. I strive to show recognition and appreciation for the vital role they play in our family. This has helped to create harmony and connection for us all.

I didn't want to be the evil mother-in-law. I took time to get to know my sons' wives as individuals, not just as their partners.

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Joelle Mulligan's upbringing was strict compared to today's standards. At times, it included a diet.</li><li>Her parents moved cross-country to help with childcare when she started her own family.</li></ul>This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with the mom of two, Joelle Mulligan, a 41-year-old hardware engineer from Santa Cruz, California. It has been edited for length and clarity.My husband, Ryan, and I <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/effective-gentle-parenting-discipline-2024-3">practice gentle parenting</a>. We are very conscious of raising our two kids, aged 5 and 2, in a way that encourages confidence and empathy.My parents were amazing — I was loved, cared for, and kept safe — and I got their undivided attention as an only child. However, a different style of parenting was popular in the 1980s.Dad couldn't handle it when I had big feelings as a kid and was crying. There was a certain amount of yelling. He'd say, "Stop crying. This isn't a thing to cry about." Mom got it from him and sometimes did the same.One of the most challenging issues was about food. It came from a good place because my parents just wanted my life to be better. Their way was to try to make my body smaller.<h2 id="b6687b02-de11-4153-a1b4-6516f0bd46f9">We were pleased my parents moved cross-country</h2>I was raised with a <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/guides/health/diet-nutrition/calorie-deficit-diet">certain amount of dieting</a>. It was often, "Three more bites of broccoli." It drove my father nuts that I didn't want to go outside and play. He wanted me to exercise, while I preferred sitting inside reading.My parents moved from Charlottesville, Virginia, to California in 2021 when my daughter was 2, and I was about <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/guides/health/reproductive-health/first-trimester">six weeks pregnant </a>with my son.It was a massive change, but they wanted to live closer. My husband, a college counselor, and I were happy the kids could develop a strong relationship with my parents.But, soon after they arrived, Dad had two heart attacks. Then, he was diagnosed with <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/doctors-dismissed-29-year-old-anxiety-stage-4-kidney-cancer-2022-5">stage 4 kidney cancer </a>in March 2022. He died just three months later at 71.<div type="image" title="A woman sitting at a dining table" height="2268" width="3024" msid="113670900" hostid="261" sizebytes="383232"></div>We were devastated. The following year, Mom moved to a retirement community within 15 minutes of our house. The kids were in full-time day care until 5:30 p.m., but she started filling in the gaps when we needed a babysitter.One day, she asked, "Do you want me to take them after 3 p.m. every day?" We immediately said yes. It didn't reduce the cost of the day care, but she bonded with them by taking them to places like the park and library.I thought about our contrasting parenting styles and wondered if it would cause challenges. Mom, now 68, was a little skeptical about things like <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/teach-kids-destigmatize-fat-eat-food-no-judgment-moral-value-2023-11">food neutrality</a> — where no foods are considered "good" or "bad," fostering a healthy mindset toward eating— and <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/how-to-introduce-solids-baby-no-stress-2021-7">baby-led weaning</a>.But I taught her the benefits. When my son was old enough for solids, she learned not to spoon-feed him purees as she had me. She followed our lead and let him pick up his own food from his plate.<h2 id="edbfcd7b-e6b3-4376-a2b1-2a7229361671">Mom is a wonderful grandmother to our children</h2>As for gentle parenting, she has realized you can't control how kids are feeling; how it's helpful to step back and let them experience their emotions. A few weeks ago, my son was in the thick of having big feelings and not knowing what to do about them. He was driving Mom bat shit that day, but she stepped away from the situation and took a breath.If it had been me when I was a child, she would probably have gotten mad and raised her voice.She's a wonderful grandmother. I'm so proud that she has shown a willingness to learn and respect our kids for who they are and meet them where they are.Do you have an interesting story to share with Business Insider about boomer grandparents and millennials' parenting styles? Please send details to <a target="_blank" href="mailto:jridley@insider.com">jridley@businessinsider.com</a>

My mom used to yell at me when I was a kid. I taught her about gentle parenting and she's now an amazing grandmother.

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Six moms say they spend $500 to $2,600 a month to create their <keyword id="23551039" type="General" weightage="20" keywordseo="paid-village" source="keywords">paid village</keyword>.</li><li><keyword id="20826057" type="General" weightage="20" keywordseo="childcare" source="keywords">Childcare</keyword> is the most substantial cost, while many also hire cleaners.</li></ul>Amy Johnson, a mom of two in <keyword id="19991752" type="General" weightage="20" keywordseo="Cleveland" source="keywords">Cleveland</keyword>, can count on both her mother and mother-in-law to help with the kids and with domestic chores every month. Despite having that unpaid support, Johnson and her husband pay $2,600 a month for childcare and cleaning — the sort of <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/grandparents-cant-look-after-grandkids-still-work-full-time-2024-9">paid village</a> that Johnson says is essential when both <keyword id="19987662" type="General" weightage="20" keywordseo="parents" source="keywords">parents</keyword> are working. "Life is currently a juggle between time and money," said Johnson, whose kids are 2 and 3. Johnson and her husband both work full-time, and Johnson also runs a website,<a target="_blank" href="https://amybabys.com/"> Amy Baby</a>. "I feel if we don't use the time wisely to create more revenue streams, we're just going to sink," she told BI. Parents around the country are struggling to pay for <keyword id="23417837" type="General" weightage="100" keywordseo="childcare-costs" source="keywords">childcare costs</keyword>—which are often higher than a mortgage or rent. In 2018 (the most recent year for which data is available), median childcare costs ranged from $4,800 in small counties for a school-age kid at home to $15,400 for an infant at a center, <a href="https://blog.dol.gov/2023/01/24/new-childcare-data-shows-prices-are-untenable-for-families" target="_blank">according</a> to the Department of Labor. Adjusted for inflation, that was $5,000 to $17,000 in 2022 money. In addition to childcare, many families find they need to pay for other domestic services, like transportation for their kids, grocery pickup, or cleaning—essentials that parents say they simply don't have time for while juggling their careers. That leaves families like Johnson's "trying our best to keep our heads above water," she said. It's a familiar refrain for many parents around the country. Here's what five other parents are paying to <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/family-tiny-house-village-kids-have-own-homes-3-years-later-2023-5">create the village</a> they need to survive. <h2>A mom of 3 in rural North Dakota: $1,300+ a month</h2>Katie Nostrum relies on unpaid childcare from her three kids, who are 9, 2, and 6 months old. When the <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/school-start-times-in-conflict-dont-mesh-with-work-2023-9">kids aren't in school</a> or at day care, Nostrum's grandparents watch them as Nostrum works as a postmaster and her partner works in a welding shop. Day care for the two younger kids costs $650 every two weeks, or over $1,300 a month. Nostrum's town is very rural — about 45 minutes away from the nearest store. Like many rural Americans, she has limited options for childcare and other support. "There are not a lot of options to create a village, no after or before school programs, etc," she said. <h2>A Texas mom of 3: $1,090 a month</h2><a target="_blank" href="https://www.instagram.com/notastarvingartistgirl/?hl=en">Jessica Lemmons</a> lives in Bryan, Texas, with her husband and three kids, ages 10, 5, and 2. She pays about $1,090 a month for childcare, which includes day care tuition for her youngest and occasional babysitting for all three. The costs would be a lot higher if Lemmons couldn't count on <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/having-children-pushed-me-away-from-my-career-2022-4">unpaid help</a> from friends and bartering the skills of her husband, who is a chef. "I am very fortunate in that I have close friends here who are childless by choice, who genuinely love spending time with my kids," she said. "I do make sure I have the capacity to feed them tasty meals whenever they're doing so." <h2>Mom of 1, outside Chicago: $2,000+ a month</h2><a target="_blank" href="https://www.lorealthompsonpayton.com/">L'Oreal Thompson Payton</a>, a freelance writer who lives outside Chicago, pays $497 each week to send her 3-year-old to preschool. On rare occasions, she <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/i-saved-childcare-costs-by-swapping-babysitting-with-a-mom-2021-10">uses a babysitter</a>. She and her husband also pay $25 an hour for a cleaner and hire one occasionally if they have guests coming to stay. While she pays for some of her village, Thompson Payton also cultivates unpaid support by connecting with day care parents and neighbors who also have young children. While the costs are high, Thompson Payton said the benefits are well worth the money. "I think there's a lot of unnecessary guilt and shame that can come up with having a 'paid' village,'" she said. "As much as I love being a mom, it's important for me, my sanity, and our marriage that I have an identity outside that, which would simply not be possible if we didn't have paid support." <h2>Mom of 2 in Tennessee: $520 a month</h2>Miriam Udy was paying $1,600 a month for childcare in <a target="_blank" class="" href="https://www.businessinsider.com/intergenerational-living-benefits-for-kids-free-babysitting-2024-10">the San Francisco Bay Area</a> when she got pregnant with her second. She and her husband relocated to Knoxville, Tennessee, in part because they couldn't afford to pay more than $3,000 a month in childcare costs. After moving, she paid $520 a month for care for her daughter. Her son qualified for free preschool because he has special needs. Now that both kids are in school, Udy is looking for a helper to get the kids off the bus, do homework with them, and drive them to activities. She also budgets for summer camp costs, which exceeded $4,000 last year. <h2>A mom of 2 in New York: $500 a month</h2>Aghogho Oluese quit her job when she got pregnant with her second. "The cost of childcare was so high that I would've only netted $500 a month if I had stayed in my former job," she said. Since then, she's launched<a target="_blank" href="https://blwforbusymoms.com/"> Baby-Led Weaning For Busy Moms</a>. She provides the bulk of childcare for her two children but still pays to build her village. Her older child goes to aftercare which is $15 an hour, and the family has a weekly cleaner at $30 an hour. Occasionally, Oluese pays a babysitter $30 an hour to watch both kids. Overall, she spends about $500 a month on paid help. "I wouldn't be able to do all that I do during the day without it," she said. Correction: October 2, 2024 — An earlier version of this story misstated which year the Department of Labor's childcare-cost figures came from. They're from 2018, not 2022. They also were the median costs, not the average costs.

Parents are turning to a 'paid village' to handle childcare and cleaning. Costs range from $500 to $2,600 a month.

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Breast milk contains antibodies that can help protect the baby from infection and reduce the risk of leukemia, obesity, and diabetes.</li><li>For the mother, breastfeeding has been shown to aid postpartum weight loss, reduce postpartum bleeding, and reduce the risk of certain diseases like breast and ovarian cancer.</li><li>It's OK if a mother doesn't produce enough breast milk to exclusively breastfeed. In that case, lactation consultants can help you decide how best to proceed, whether it's combining breast milk with formula or some other alternative.</li><li>This article was <a href="https://www.insider.com/insider-medical-review-board" target="_blank" rel="noopener">medically reviewed</a> by <a href="https://nyulangone.org/doctors/1982081873/olivia-p-myrick" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Olivia P. Myrick</a>, MD, who is a clinical assistant professor with the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology at <a href="https://med.nyu.edu/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">NYU Langone</a>.</li></ul>After a mother gives birth, one of the many major changes to her postpartum life is breastfeeding. Not every mom will choose to breastfeed her infant, and that's okay. However, there are many benefits for both you and your child if you choose to breastfeed. Here's how this age-old practice helps moms recover from <keyword id="6357793" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="pregnancy">pregnancy</keyword> and babies get the nutrition they need after birth. <h2>Benefits of breastfeeding for the baby</h2><a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/heather-dicioccio-dnp-rnc-b2037221/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Heather Dicioccio</a>, DNP, a registered nurse at the Cleveland Clinic Hillcrest Hospital's Obstetrics and Family Maternity Center describes human breast milk as "a living fluid," because it adapts to a baby's needs. Unlike formula, the nutritional consistency of breast milk changes from one feeding to the next, ensuring that babies have the nutrients they need to grow. Its contents include antibodies, vitamins, minerals, fat, and lactose. Three benefits of breastfeeding for the baby are as follows:<h3>1. Breastfeeding helps treat and prevent infection </h3>A mother's body is able to produce <a href="https://www.nature.com/articles/pr201134" target="_blank" rel="noopener">immunoglobulins</a> that the baby then gets through breast milk. Immunoglobulins, otherwise known as antibodies, are large proteins used by the immune system to neutralize pathogens like bacteria and viruses. If a baby falls under the weather, these are essential to help fight infection, as a newborn's immune system is not yet fully developed and needs to rely on the mother's defenses as well as its own.Dicioccio says the milk also has antibodies and anti-inflammatory capabilities, which tends to protect the baby in both the short and long-term. Dicioccio says that breastfeeding reduces the risk of:<ul><li>Ear infections</li><li>Leukemia</li><li>Obesity</li><li>Type 1 and 2 diabetes</li></ul>There's also emerging evidence that it, "even later in life, there may be a reduced risk of hypertension. They are [also] starting to see in babies that are exclusively breastfed a reduced risk of Crohn's and ulcerative colitis," Dicioccio says.<h3>2. Breastfeeding aids digestion</h3>Thanks to its well-balanced nutritional profile, breast milk <a href="https://healthcare.utah.edu/healthfeed/postings/2017/09/breastfeeding.php" target="_blank" rel="noopener">plays an important role in digestion for newborns</a>. Breastfed babies tend to "have lower rates of gas, colic, nausea, vomiting, constipation, and other feeding problems," says <a href="https://providers.keckmedicine.org/provider/Evelyn+Nicole+Mitchell/1140717" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Evelyn Mitchell</a>, MD, an OB-GYN with the University of Southern California's Keck School of Medicine. Breast milk is also easier to digest than formula. While formula contains equal parts whey and casein — two different types of proteins — breast milk has a higher ratio of whey during a baby's first six months. Whey is digested at a faster rate than casein, making it gentler on a newborn's stomach. <h3>3. Breastfeeding is linked to a lower risk of SIDS</h3>Another surprising research finding is that breastfed babies have <a href="https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/2036158/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a lower risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) </a>— a syndrome that results in a baby's unexplained death, usually while sleeping. However, Mitchell says doctors don't know the specific mechanism behind the association between breast milk and SIDS. <h2>Benefits of breastfeeding for the woman</h2>The benefits of breastfeeding extend beyond a baby's <keyword id="6354750" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="health">health</keyword> — it can also help foster the bond between mother and child as well as improve the mother's health. Here are five benefits of breastfeeding for the mother:<h3>1. Breastfeeding increases the mother-child bond</h3>Dicioccio says researchers are unsure if emotional facilitation can be attributed to breastfeeding, skin-to-skin contact, or some combination of both. The baby's positioning when nursing creates the perfect opportunity for eye contact between mother and child, which she says can help the two feel "in tune with one another." When your baby is snuggled up close, it is easier to notice subtle shifts in mood or behavior."Is the baby unhappy? Does the baby need a diaper change? Is something bothering the baby? You can start sensing that information," Dicioccio says. <a href="https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2017/10/bonding-breastfeeding" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A 10-year study conducted by the American Psychological Association </a>found that those who breastfed exhibited greater displays of maternal sensitivity towards their children up to the age of 11. <h3>2. Breastfeeding may aid postpartum weight loss</h3>For many women hoping to return to their pre-baby body, breastfeeding offers another perk: it can help shed the baby weight. "It takes about an extra 500 calories a day to breastfeed your baby," says Dicioccio. "Your body is constantly making that milk, so it burns off extra calories." And it's not just a few extra pounds. <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4312189/#:~:text=This%20study%20found%20that%20exclusive,%2Dexclusively%2C%20among%20U.S.%20women." target="_blank" rel="noopener">One study</a> of over 2,000 women found that those who breastfed exclusively for at least the first 3 months were more likely to return to their pre-pregnancy BMI (<a href="https://www.cdc.gov/healthyweight/assessing/bmi/index.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Body Mass Index</a>) compared to women who did not breastfeed or only partially breastfed. <h3>3. Breastfeeding can reduce postpartum bleeding</h3>For the first few days postpartum, the uterus slowly shrinks back to its normal size. This is normal, but it can cause uncomfortable <a href="https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/breastfeeding-your-baby/breast-feeding-getting-started" target="_blank" rel="noopener">cramping</a> and bleeding. Breastfeeding can help by speeding up the rate at which your uterus shrinks back to its pre-pregnancy size, says Mitchell. That's because nursing causes the brain to release <a href="https://www.yourhormones.info/hormones/oxytocin/#:~:text=Oxytocin%20is%20produced%20in%20the,when%20these%20cells%20are%20excited." target="_blank" rel="noopener">oxytocin</a>, a hormone responsible for uterus contractions and <a href="https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/129/3/e827" target="_blank" rel="noopener">decreased bleeding</a> after birth. <h3>4. Breastfeeding is a form of birth control</h3>When mothers choose to exclusively breastfeed — meaning they nurse every four hours during the day and every six hours at night, in addition to skipping formula — <a href="https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/birth-control/breastfeeding" target="_blank" rel="noopener">their body naturally stops ovulating.</a> "Breastfeeding exclusively will actually induce what we call lactational amenorrhea," says Mitchell. "Basically, the brain stops producing hormones that would stimulate the ovaries and result in ovulation. So, that's an effective form of birth control for up to six months. After six months, your body will start to produce those hormones again and you could ovulate, have periods again, and become pregnant."It is not a perfect form of birth control, as there is about a 6% chance of conceiving at 6 months postpartum. But many women opt for consistent breastfeeding as a way to try and prevent ovulation.<h3>5. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of certain diseases</h3>Lastly, breastfeeding produces a host of protective health benefits for the mother. "The hormones in a breastfeeding patient are very different from the hormones in a non-breastfeeding patient," Mitchell says. "Generally, in breastfeeding, your hormones are pretty consistent. They are not really fluctuating throughout the month. That consistency does a lot in terms of short-term and long-term effects on the body," she adds. For example, breastfeeding lowers a woman's life-long exposure to the hormone <a href="https://www.cancer.gov/about-cancer/causes-prevention/risk/hormones" target="_blank" rel="noopener">estrogen</a>, which is linked to an <a href="https://blogs.cdc.gov/cancer/2019/08/01/breastfeeding-for-cancer-prevention/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">increased risk</a> of ovarian and breast cancers. So, <a href="https://blogs.cdc.gov/cancer/2019/08/01/breastfeeding-for-cancer-prevention/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">women who breastfeed have lower rates</a> of breast cancer and ovarian cancer, in addition to <a href="https://www.womenshealth.gov/breastfeeding/making-decision-breastfeed" target="_blank" rel="noopener">lower rates</a> of type-two diabetes and high blood pressure. <h2>How long to breastfeed</h2>In an ideal world, mothers would exclusively breastfeed for one year, says Mitchell. "But honestly, I tell my patients any time is great. If you can get to a year, that would be ideal, but even if you can do six months, or three months, any amount of breastfeeding can be beneficial for mom and baby." According to <a href="https://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/140/5/e20171324" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a 2017 study published in Pediatrics</a>, even two months of non-exclusive breastfeeding was linked to a reduced risk of SIDS by 50 percent. At around four to six months, parents usually start introducing solid food to the baby. Infants at this age have typically <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddler-health/in-depth/healthy-baby/art-20046200" target="_blank" rel="noopener">developed the motor skills needed to swallow foods, not spit them ou</a>t. During breastfeeding, moms might "follow the <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5438437/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">baby-led weaning process</a>," where children are given true solid foods, or start with the purees and cereals, says Dicioccio.<h2>Breastfeeding is not always possible, and that's OK</h2>While breastfeeding is great, it can be very hard on new moms. "Personally, I found breastfeeding to be the hardest part of postpartum, and a lot of my patients agree with that," says Mitchell. "You feel a lot of pressure, as a mom, to <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-increase-breast-milk" target="_blank" rel="noopener">produce milk for your baby</a>… If things are not going well, it can lead to a lot of anxiety, even <a href="https://www.insider.com/how-long-does-postpartum-depression-last" target="_blank" rel="noopener">postpartum depression</a> and blues in some cases," she says.For moms struggling to breastfeed, lactational consultants can be extremely helpful, says Mitchell, as well as making sure you're eating at least 450 to 500 extra calories in balanced meals and snacks. Sometimes, doctors prescribe supplements like gummies or lactational cookies to help. "But we have to keep in mind, some women just do not produce a lot of breast milk," says Mitchell. If a patient is still unable to breastfeed after trying the above treatments, and their doctor is concerned about the baby's nutritional needs not being met, then they may need to supplement with formula. Mother's can still continue to try nursing while using formula."You can combine formula and breast milk," says Dicioccio. "The main thing is to make sure the baby is fed."The mental health of a breastfeeding mother is critical. "If breastfeeding is a source of anxiety and depression for her, that risk is not worth the benefit of breastfeeding," says Mitchell. "We have to always keep that in mind, as well, and not put unrealistic expectations on her or unnecessary pressure."<h2 id="related-articles-from-health-reference:">Related articles from <a href="https://www.insider.com/health-reference" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Health Reference</a>:</h2><ul><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/how-to-increase-breast-milk" target="_blank" rel="noopener">How to increase your breast milk supply right after giving birth</a></li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/how-is-breast-milk-made" target="_blank" rel="noopener">The fascinating biology behind how breast milk is made</a></li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/how-long-can-breast-milk-sit-out" target="_blank" rel="noopener">How long breast milk can sit out on the counter versus how long you can store it in a refrigerator or freezer</a></li></ul>

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