<div>
<div class="bcontent">
<div class="KonaFilter image-container float_right"><div class="image on-image"><img src="http://static1.businessinsider.com/image/52612a45ecad048a54bd5e46-608-456/cheating-5.jpg?maxX=480" border="0" alt="Cheating" width="480" /><a href="http://statigr.am/p/328834780403150562_189723658">statigr.am/fahad_alrabaya</a></div></div>It's going to happen. On your conquest through life others are going to lie about you, stab you in the back, confuse your motives, and misinterpret your intentions.
They are going to over react, blame you, say mean things about you - to everyone around you. They're going to shout, point fingers, lie, scream, and accuse you of things that are just not true.
And you're going to feel betrayed, indignant, and full of righteous rage.
Which is going to make you do the wrong thing. You're going to lash out. Defend yourself. Make sure everyone knows that you are being wronged.
And while you're litigating your side of the story, everyone around you is scratching their head wondering when you got so damn cranky. You sound angry, bitter, irrational, and mean. That's what happens naturally.
<blockquote>
When you feel threatened, you do stupid things that make it seem like your unfair treatment might not be so unfair after all.
</blockquote>
So it's important to be deliberate about what you do next.
Here are a few things to do:
1. Stop shouting. Start listening. For right now at least.
For at least 24 hours, don't do anything. Don't defend yourself. Don't lash out. Find some place that's quiet and think things through. Just listen. There will be a time when you need to go to war. There will be a time where you need to defend yourself. Time to decry your treatment. But that time is not right now.
It's a big mistake to act too quickly on your emotions - because they're making you irrational. Everything you do will be tinged with anger and bitterness. So just stop shouting and start listening. Listen for what isn't being said. Listen for the feelings and emotions that you hear expressed by others. For a few moments concentrate on others - not on yourself.
What you hear will be important for what you do next.
2. Don't write out a long explanation of why you are right.
You might think that you're being more logical by sitting down and writing out your side of the story. That's probably not going to help you at all. In fact, writing out all the gory details just makes you seem petty and small minded. And it's further depressing. Even if you're dead right. If you have a popular blog or write articles that are published in online newspapers you have an immediate channel to clarify your position. But it's a whole lot better if you don't do that.
Those who read what you write and already agree with you won't think more of you because of what you write. Those who don't agree with you already aren't likely to suddenly agree with you because of what you wrote. What you expect to happen isn't going to happen. You're wasting your time. And more importantly, you are wasting an opportunity to rise above the unfair treatment you have experienced.
Writing it all down doesn't help you.
3. Reach out directly (and privately) to the other person.
If you're trying to resolve a situation where someone else misunderstood you, then reach out directly to the person who caused the problem. It makes no sense to waste your emotions defending yourself to everyone else when you could simply be explaining your intentions to the person who treated you wrong. Send an email. Pick up the phone and call them. Use social media. There's no excuse to not connect directly and work through this situation.
It's not a grudge match. It's just a conversation. Start off the conversation by simply explaining your intentions. You don't need to justify what you did or defend it as being right. Just explain what you think the other person misunderstood. If you need to apologize for not being clear the first time then do that. You don't need a roomful of people or a newspaper full of readers to resolve the situation. You need one-on-one access.
Don't waste your emotions on things that don't matter.
4. Apologize and change if you need to. If not, don't fake it.
Sometimes you get things wrong. There will be times when you weren't misunderstood - you were just wrong. Whether it's an accident or a deliberate action that you undertook, there are times where you get it wrong. You can feud about the style of the person who treated you unfairly or you can apologize and move on. They don't need to forgive you for you to change. You need to change because you want to be better.
And if you don't want to change, then don't. What only situations like this even worse is when you pretend to change but have no intention of doing anything different. Sometimes you don't need to change - you just need to apologize for something that happened and move on. Don't fake it. That just makes things worse.
Apologize when you're wrong. Pick up the pieces and move on. Don't make the problem worse by being a phony.
5. Keep being "you" in the meanwhile. And forever after that.
Being treated unfairly is a nasty feeling. It feels pretty horrible to be taken advantage of publicly. Even if you did something wrong to cause the poor treatment, you won't feel any better while you're being shamed. The secret to making it through that experience is to just be "you". Don't do other things because people are watching. Don't adopt new habits because you think it will help people like you more. Just be you.
Following your dreams. Attack the challenges you were attacking before all of this mess happened. Keep learning. Keep living. Keep leading others. Days quickly turn into weeks. Those weeks quickly turn into months. It's easy to let your dreams fall aside as you let yourself be distracted by the worst things in life. Don't let that happen to you. Don't let your dreams be squashed by attitudes that are entirely in your control.
<blockquote>
Be fearless even if you're fearful at the time..
</blockquote>
Anything else you do is going to come off sounding angry or pathetic.
And neither of those make for improving your reputation, making progress, or otherwise convincing those around you that you are being wronged.
Don't let the emotions of being hurt trick you into acting like an idiot.
Sometimes bad things happen to good people. Hang in there. Be awesome.
<div></div>
</div>
</div>This story was originally published by <a href="http://danwaldschmidt.com/blog/" target="_blank">Edgy Conversations</a>.

5 Things To Do When You Get Treated Unfairly

Sometimes you just need to go do something awesome. You need to burn the ships. Puff your chest out against an angry enemy.
You don’t need an excuse, an explanation, or permission. You just need to go do it.
If you’re waiting on a spreadsheet to make the case for you, or logic or peer pressure or precedent, you’re destined to living a life that is insignificant. Life sometimes demands that you throw caution to the wind and go do something unreasonably remarkable.
The truth is that anyone can almost make it. You can go a little bit down the path towards triumph. You can fake the right determination, repeat the same motivational “mumbo-jumbo”, and pretend like they’re trying harder than you really are.
But there’s a difference.
You know it. And history remembers it.
History remembers your weakness, your mediocrity — what you could have done with the heart of a champion.
Maybe it’s time we go back to being primal. Maybe it’s time to pick up a club and fight for duty and honor and a future worth living in.
Maybe it’s time to be a bad-ass. Like Tlahuicole.
<blockquote>
Tlahuicole was born in 1497 in one of the northern towns of Tlaxcala, Mexico in the days when the Aztecs laid claim to most of that corner of the world — before Hernando Cortez conquered them.
He was born to a royal family at the peak of the dominance of the Tlaxcala. Under the influence and leadership of his family they now controlled a confederacy of 21 small city-states.
Because he was part of nobility, he was sent to the Calmecac where he was put through rigorous battle training and taught to endure pain. As part of his ritualistic training, he was trained to endure torture without whimper or cry. Part priest, part warrior — he emerged from the academy as a zealous Aztec leader. Fearsome in battle, he as known for fighting with heavy clay clubs that he would bash into the heads of his opponents.
When Montezuma, the Aztec king, wanted to kill Tlahuicole’s people as a sacrifice to the sun god, he found himself fighting for his life. The war between the Aztecs and the out-matched Tlaxcans lasted for twenty long days — with Tlahuicole killing Montezuma’s son in combat and hundreds of elite warriors sent to kill him. The Aztec warriors finally captured Tlahuicole only after mortally wounding all of his soldiers and overpowering him in brute force.
Montezuma was so impressed by the carnage done by Tlahuicole that he pardoned him — offering him women and treasures to lead his Aztec army. But Tlahuicole refused. And demanded that he be sacrificed in combat like the other captives.
They led Tlahuicole to the gladiator arena and chained him by the foot to the Stone of Combat. He was stripped naked and handed an stone-studded war club. As we custom, the greatest Aztec warriors in the nation, called the Jaguar Knights, were given the honor of slaying him. As they set upon him from all sides, Tlahuicole fought with the vengeance of a man possessed.
Over a hour of hand-to-hand combat, Tlahuicole killed 8 of the knights and wounded 21 more that were sent into the arena after him. Even as he sank to his knees fatigued and wounded to the point of death, those who watched described him as a “mad man”.
An Aztec priest pushed aside the warriors waiting to execute him and ceremonially exalted the name of Tlahuicole: “From this day forward he shall be remembered as ‘tlahiloquichtli’. (The “rabid warrior”)
</blockquote>
Forever history remembers the unconquerable spirit of a unrelenting warrior. One man willing to lay it all on the line.
Your mission isn’t to grab sword and spear and club and lunge mightily with gladiatorial rage at the oncoming hoard. It’s smaller than that. Less life-threatening. More refined.
It’s just to fight for your <keyword id="21649" type="COMPANY" weightage="60" keywordseo="dreams">dreams</keyword>.
To stand up for you. To believe that you are worth fighting for. To work a little bit harder.
You don’t need anyone else’s permission to do that. You can be awesome all by yourself.
So stop waiting for your sign or your calling or even one more degree. Just be incredible.
Live a life that challenges what you think is possible.
It won’t be easy and a lot of times it won’t be fun.
But it’s worth doing.
So why ask permission to get started?

Don't Wait For Your Boss To Tell You What To Do

Life is busy. And chaotic. And frantic. And that’s with you being successful.
On your best day you’re dying. Getting pounded by a million unanswered questions and expectations.
The only way to get your soul back is to dream big <keyword id="21649" type="COMPANY" weightage="60" keywordseo="dreams">dreams</keyword>.
That’s the only way to stay recharged and in control of your future.
When you dream, you burn a little bit brighter.
For a few moments when you dream you leave behind everything that weighs on your soul and you soar above the fray. You are free of the limitations of time and expectation and effort.
<blockquote>
Everything you can imagine is possible. You are invincible and unbelievably brilliant.
</blockquote>
And you need that. You need a break from the chaos and stress of your daily living. You need respite from the pressures of achieving your expectations.
You need to make time to dream.
It doesn’t replace hard work. It isn’t a substitute for learning, loving, or leading.
It’s irreplaceable in its own way.
A simple moment in time when you take comfort in knowing that your vision for you is big enough to change the world. Big enough to keep fighting for.
So if you never stop to get motivated, you end up dying a slow death. You wither on the inside. Dry up. Waste away.
So dream on. Be vigilant with your dreams. Be violent in your conquest of them.
Make time to keep dreaming.

You Need To Make Time To Dream Big

One time or another, you’ve had the thought running through your head that if you only knew more you would be more successful in life.
It’s only natural to think that. Most of the first 20 years of your life are completely focused on how much you know. And who you know more than.
So it’s only natural that you think knowing more will make you more successful. Perhaps another degree, a conference, or a DVD business series is what you need to turn your situation around.
It’s frustrating.
Because the more you learn, the less you feel like you’re becoming successful.
That’s because, despite what you hear about <keyword id="21796" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="success">success</keyword>, it has very little to do with formal <keyword id="6355445" type="COMPANY" weightage="60" keywordseo="Education">education</keyword>. How much you know doesn’t really matter. It never has.
Some of the most successful people of all time did it without all the education you think you need:
John Glenn was a dropout from the science program at Muskingum College. He went on to become one of the most important astronauts in American history.
Steve Jobs stayed in college for only six months. His breakthrough inventions in mobile technology and movie animation are perhaps the greatest business marvel of the last fifty years.
Henry Ford had no college education at all and few years of formal education at all. He went on to reinvent the manufacturing process and the entire automobile industry.
William Shakespeare dropped out of middle school. He would later create almost 2,000 English words and write the most famous literary works of all time.
John D. Rockefeller left school as a young teenager to get a job. He would build Standard Oil into a massive petroleum monopoly, ultimately becoming the richest man of all time (considering current inflation).
Mark Twain only had a 5th grade education. His Adventures of Huckleberry Finn is considered the greatest American novel of all time.
Horace Greeley had no schooling at all. He would later become a Congressman, found the Republican Party, and today is considered one the most influential journalists in American history.
Albert Einstein was a high school dropout and failed his university entrance exams. He came up with the Theory of Relativity, published 300 scientific papers, won a Nobel Prize, and is considered the greatest mind of the twentieth century.
Success isn’t really about how much you know.
What matters is what you do.
How hard you work. What you are willing to do without until you realize your dreams. That is what matters.
That is what has always mattered. Then. Now. And forever.
One of the greatest inventors the world has ever know explained success this way: “Genius is 1% inspiration, 99% perspiration.” Thomas Edison didn’t just say that; he lived it. He would attempt over 10,000 separate tries in creating the light bulb.
Some people probably thought he was crazy. And some will think you are too.
Maybe you’re just on your way to doing something mind-blowingly amazing.
NOW READ: <a href="http://www.businessinsider.com/attitude-determines-success-2013-1">Your Attitude Determines Whether Or Not You'll Succeed</a>

Knowing A Lot Doesn't Have Much To Do With Success

<a title_source="Strelka Institute for Media, Architecture and Design/flickr" title_caption="You need to make changes and work hard if you want to be successful." class="zoomin" href="https://static-ssl.businessinsider.com/image/54aed0fa69beddfe62c27145-960/to-do-success-prioritize-16.jpg"><img src="https://static-ssl.businessinsider.com/image/54aed0fa69beddfe62c27145-1200-924/to-do-success-prioritize-16.jpg?maxX=600" border="0" alt="to do, success, prioritize" width="600" /></a><a href="https://www.flickr.com/photos/strelka/9263557874/in/set-72157634596796754">Strelka Institute for Media, Architecture and Design/flickr</a>You need to make changes and work hard if you want to be successful.Success means something different to everyone - but there are certain truths that apply to almost all definitions.
Here are three:
1. Success is messy.
"It demands passion - inside and out," explains&#xa0;speaker and business strategist&#xa0;Dan Waldschmidt in a <a href="http://danwaldschmidt.com/2015/01/attitude/need-know-success">recent blog post</a>. "There are no 'kinda' or 'sorta' or 'maybe' types of success. You either are where you want to be or you're not. It's that simple. Along the way you can expect to lose friends, money, and your wits."&#xa0;
And, he says, you're going to screw up and perhaps even hurt people. "But you can't be amazing and perfect all at the same time."
2. Success is a choice.
"You can't pretend like you want to be amazing. You have to actually change your life," Waldschmidt says. "Your habits need to improve. Your daily schedule needs to improve. What you eat, where you go, who you hang out with&#xa0;- that all&#xa0;needs to improve if you want to improve."
Aside from that, you have to be willing to make hard choices and do hard work, he explains, "even when no one is standing behind you&#xa0;cheering you on."
And because success is a choice, you can't make someone else want to be successful. "They have to want it for themselves."
3. Success is worth it.&#xa0;
No matter what your journey looks like right now, success is possible. And it's worth it, Waldschmidt explains.
"The journey to get to where you want to be is full of everything that you're running from right now. But on the other side of all that pain and stress and suffering is the prize you so desperately want. So get busy getting that. Go be amazing."
Click <a href="http://danwaldschmidt.com/2015/01/attitude/need-know-success">here</a> to read the full post.
Want your business advice featured in Instant MBA? Submit your tips to tipoftheday@businessinsider.com.&#xa0;Be sure to include your name, your job title, and a photo of yourself in your email.

You Searched For "Dan Waldschmidt" and got 5 results

5 Things To Do When You Get Treated Unfairly

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Dan Waldschmidt

You Need To Make Time To Dream Big

Dan Waldschmidt

Knowing A Lot Doesn't Have Much To Do With Success

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