The best 'Am I the A--hole' posts on Reddit and Twitter that made us all feel better in 2020

<ul class="summary-list"><li><a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/dear-abby-dead-at-94-2013-1">Dear Abby</a> and <a href="https://savage.love/">Dan Savage</a> were yesterday's advice gurus. Today, Reddit's subreddits take center stage.</li><li>Millennials and Gen Z are turning to Reddit for highly-specific life advice, fueling viral stories.</li></ul>Scrolling through social media during your morning commute, you've likely stumbled upon viral Reddit posts like those on the <a href="https://www.insider.com/reddits-ask-advice-communities-beginners-guide-to-internet-2020-2" rel="">immensely popular</a> forum <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/" target="_blank" rel="nofollow noopener">r/AmItheAsshole</a>, where users ponder questions like <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/15x4g62/aitah_for_telling_my_fiancé_that_if_he_expects_me/">AITA "for telling my fiancé that if he expects me to contribute 50/50, we have to make some serious lifestyle changes?"</a>In that now-viral post published on Monday, the Redditor explained that though they made much less than their partner, said partner now wants to split expenses equally. The poster then asked the subreddit if telling their partner they need to make serious lifestyle changes — like selling their now-unaffordable two cars — made her the bad guy.Reading it struck a chord because I, too, have struggled with relationships with partners who earn way more than I do — and the minefield of issues that come with it.And it seems that I wasn't the only one it resonated with. Redditors flooded the post with over 14,000 comments, with most voting "NTA" — meaning that the poster is "not the asshole." One user commented, "It does sound like he has something else going on, and I would mentally prepare for him to call the wedding off."Though getting advice from internet forums isn't a new concept, those of a certain age might remember when readers would take their life problems and deepest questions to <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/dear-abby-dead-at-94-2013-1" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Dear Abby</a> or <a href="https://savage.love/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Dan Savage</a>. Today, these columns seem dwarfed by the deluge of advice that people now receive on Reddit's forums — also known as subreddits — where millions of users tune in to offer their takes or to watch the fallout, popcorn in hand.And I, for one, love watching internet strangers getting vindicated or roasted by a thousand judges.<h2>Who needs an agony aunt column when you have r/OffMyChest and r/AITAH </h2>At the forefront of these advice subreddits is r/AmITheAsshole — with over 13 million users — and its offshoot r/AITAH. But beyond them is a funky constellation of subreddits where users come to pour out their innermost thoughts and burning questions.Looking for advice about dealing with loved ones?Another Redditor sought guidance on <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/x51v9y/how_do_i_17f_tell_my_mom_36f_that_i_know_her_best/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">how they could tell their single mother that they know her mum's "best friend" is, in reality, her girlfriend</a>, leading one commenter to note with amusement, "This is so interesting because the convention wisdom for parents with closeted gay kids is to let the kid come out on their schedule."Three days later, Redditors reacted with delight when the original poster shared an update: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/x6wi82/update_how_do_i_17f_tell_my_mom_36f_that_i_know/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">they were right about their mum dating a woman, it just wasn't the person they thought it was.</a>Need to unload?One person shared a confession on r/OffMyChest, which read: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/offmychest/comments/zekw0u/i_accidentally_found_out_my_coworkers_dont_like_me/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">"I accidentally found out my coworkers don't like me,"</a> and recounted how they received a message about them intended for another coworker. The poster wrote, "I feel like even at 28, no matter how hard I try to fit in and be nice, I somehow mess it up."Over a thousand Redditors responded, with advice such as: "One thing I have noticed in life — trying to fit in almost always has the opposite effect" to affirmation: "Your coworkers don't deserve someone like you."Curious about what the opposite sex thinks?On r/AskMen, the question <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/yc9af3/married_men_whats_one_thing_you_wish_you_could/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">"What's one thing you wish you could tell your wife, but won't because you know it will start a fight"</a> prompted this heartfelt response: "Your family takes advantage of you because of your inability to say "no." Guilt issues are real and debilitating."To be sure, Reddit's public advice columns are not without their detractors. Another viral post in 2019 wrote: <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/aysa03/meta_too_many_aita_commenters_advocate_too/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">"Too many AITA commenters advocate too quickly for people to leave their partners at the first sign of conflict, and this kind of thinking deprives many people of emotional growth."</a><h2>For hundreds of years, humans have been fascinated by what their neighbors are up to </h2>My theory for why these subreddits have such viral appeal is that they offer a sense of community, similar to their historical counterparts — agony aunts.As part of <a href="https://archive.org/details/confidentialtoam0000gude/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">his book on advice columns</a>, the University of Tampa's David Gudelunas wrote, "It was through reading columns such as "Dorothy Dix" and "Ann Landers" that Americans learned what the other half was up to—no matter what half they themselves represented."These columns date as far back as 1690, when one appeared in a London paper, according to Gudelunas. His book even shared a fascinating letter published in 1910 from a reader who asked if "it was improper to give a young lady a ring for an engagement which had previously been worn by another."An agony aunt responded: "It would be very bad form to give the girl whom you are now engaged the ring which the first girl wore while engaged to you. Either have it reset or give her another ring."And it just shows that our fascination with seeing strangers getting judged or vindicated in text is older than we think.

Welcome to the rabbit hole of agony aunt-killer subreddits, where users discuss money, love, and villainy

<ul class="summary-list"><li>Shopify is going to extreme lengths to stop its workers from attending pointless meetings.</li><li>Meanwhile, loneliness in America is literally an epidemic – and that's probably bad for business.</li></ul>You may know roughly how much time you waste in meetings, but Shopify bosses think they've figured out how much money they waste in them.In <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/shopify-tool-shows-cost-of-useless-meetings-at-work-2023-7">a memo</a> sent to employees earlier this month, they announced they were giving them a new plug-in that syncs up to their calendars and attaches a dollar amount to each meeting of more than two people, based on attendees' hourly salary and the meeting's length.This push to keep workers out of meetings is to free up time so they can, according to the company's COO, "get shit done." It's a productivity hack, and it's not the only company attempting it. Meta, Atlassian (which owns Trello), and Clorox all have no-meeting days on the calendar, <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2023-07-12/shopify-shames-workers-with-a-1-600-price-tag-for-pointless-meetings" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Bloomberg reported</a>.But here's the thing about meetings, even "pointless" ones, and especially for <a href="https://growremote.ie/what-does-working-remotely-mean-for-shopify/">a company with a lot of remote workers</a> like Shopify: they give us an opportunity to chat. And right now, this may be more important than ever.<a href="https://www.insider.com/us-surgeon-general-compares-loneliness-epidemic-to-smoking-2023-5">The Surgeon General has called loneliness in America an "epidemic"</a> and said it could be as bad for you as smoking.There are <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2020/01/23/loneliness-is-rising-younger-workers-and-social-media-users-feel-it-most.html">a bunch of potential reasons</a> for this widespread loneliness, especially among young people. It could be to do with <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/millennials-gen-z-blame-loneliness-on-housing-affordability-crisis-2023-4?utm_source=youtube&amp;utm_medium=social&amp;utm_campaign=business-community-tab-link&amp;_gl=1*u5oxca*_ga*MTEzMjkxMjQ5LjE2NTIwODYzMzk.*_ga_E21CV80ZCZ*MTY4OTU5MzExMi4xMDg0LjAuMTY4OTU5MzExMi42MC4wLjA.">living in car-centric neighborhoods without much public space</a>, or our <a href="https://www.insider.com/guides/health/mental-health/how-does-social-media-affect-teenagers">social-media use</a>, but ultimately what we're missing is meaningful social connections.Enter: work friends.Even before the pandemic, my best antidote to WFH loneliness has been a group chat made up entirely of former colleagues. <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/whatsapp-group-chat-friendships-b2129633.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">This group has been described by one friend as</a> "obscurely named, impenetrably injoked and your go-to for everything from fashion advice to AITA-type therapy." Yes, it's delightful. Yes, it's all thanks to people I've met in a work context.According to a 2019 survey, workplaces were an adult's best shot at making new friends, <a href="https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/friends-adults-american-how-to-friendship-difficulty-a8906861.html">The Independent reported.</a> Of course, this was when "working from home" was mostly reserved for digital nomads and snow days. As of last month, <a href="https://www.forbes.com/advisor/business/remote-work-statistics">40% of workers are based at home at least part of the time</a>.Watercoolers are hard to recreate in virtual form, but if they're going to be anywhere, it's in scheduled videocalls — in other words, meetings. Ideally ones with a minimal agenda, so we can make, well, meaningful connections.Better mental health has been <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/basics/productivity/mental-health-and-productivity">closely linked</a> to productivity, so perhaps addressing loneliness would be a better use of a company's resources than discouraging meetings. But as far as I know there's no plug-in for that.

'Pointless' meetings aren't the productivity drain bosses seem to think

<ul class="summary-list"><li>A <keyword id="11910046" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="reddit" source="Orion">Reddit</keyword> user said she spent her wedding catering budget on performances from <keyword id="46161" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="disney" source="Orion">Disney</keyword> actors.</li><li>Some people criticized the user's decision, while others defended her love of Disney. </li></ul>A Reddit user who said she spent her wedding catering budget on performances from Mickey and Minnie Mouse actors has sparked a polarizing debate after <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v50keo/aita_for_not_having_catering_at_my_wedding/">sharing her story</a> on the platform on June 5. Screenshots of the since-deleted Reddit post went viral on <keyword id="11892744" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="twitter" source="Orion">Twitter</keyword> when they were reuploaded by various users who expressed shock at the story.Online comments soon spiraled into a wider debate about <a href="https://www.insider.com/what-are-disney-adult-fans-2021-8#being-a-disney-adult-can-be-extremely-expensive-4">"Disney adults,"</a> a term referring to Disney superfans who often dedicate time and money to visiting Disney resorts and parks as well as collecting Disney merchandise. <a href="https://www.insider.com/things-to-know-before-getting-married-at-disney-world-2022-2">Disney-themed</a> <a href="https://www.insider.com/disney-world-florida-wedding-four-seasons-viral-tiktok-2022-4">weddings</a> are also particularly popular.The Twitter debate attracted comments from many fans who defended the choice, as well as from academics who have studied the phenomenon, <a href="https://twitter.com/jeichlerlevine/status/1533909820453142530">one</a> of whom went viral for comparing the fanbase to a form of religion. <h2>The original post was uploaded on Reddit, where the user received criticism </h2>The story was originally <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v50keo/aita_for_not_having_catering_at_my_wedding/">posted</a> in a subreddit called r/AmItheAsshole (often abbreviated to AITA) where users typically share controversial experiences, asking other users to comment on whether they think they were at fault for the situation. These <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/">posts</a> often go viral, as the community has more than 4 million members, but there is frequent speculation about whether the stories people share are real or fabricated. The post was titled, "AITA for not having catering at my wedding?" and the user said that she and her husband are "huge Disney fans," and decided to spend money they initially set aside for catering at their wedding on having Minnie and Mickey Mouse performers attend the celebration.Some of their guests then complained that there was no food at the wedding on social media, according to the post. The user did not immediately respond to Insider's request for comment. <blockquote class="twitter-tweet blockquote" data-lang="en" data-cards="" data-conversation="">—Ash (@theashrb) <a href="https://twitter.com/mims/statuses/1533466143389892609">June 5, 2022</a></blockquote>The post, which was seen by Insider, received 2,400 comments, many more than most other recent posts on the forum which have hundreds. Most of these comments seemed to react negatively to the story, saying the user was at fault in the situation and that it was "rude" of her to not feed her wedding guests. The post is no longer available to view, and a message says it was <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/v50keo/aita_for_not_having_catering_at_my_wedding/">removed</a> by moderators of the subreddit. <h2>The story went viral on Twitter, sparking debate</h2>On June 5, a screenshot of the Reddit post was <a href="https://twitter.com/theashrb/status/1533466143389892609?s=21&amp;t=qpZbL3IxKXk4R2KZhb1MOQ">reuploaded</a> to Twitter by a user called Ashley Rouen-Brown, who captioned the tweet saying, "If I went to a wedding like this, I too would be talking shit about it." The tweet went viral, receiving 40,000 likes.A further 7,000 <a href="https://twitter.com/PeachSaliva/status/1533934436403752961">people</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/scottmatla/status/1533795989588516869">reshared</a> it, adding their own thoughts in captions above the post, many of which were critical.<blockquote class="twitter-tweet blockquote" data-lang="en" data-cards="" data-conversation="">—Scott Matla (@scottmatla) <a href="https://twitter.com/mims/statuses/1533795989588516869">June 6, 2022</a></blockquote>"I just think it's funny that as adults they value Disney World THAT much," one <a href="https://twitter.com/Absolutely_Cee/status/1533814801151016963">comment</a> with 115 likes said. In a statement provided to Insider, Rouen-Brown said they thought the story went viral because not providing food is "such a shocking thing to do to your guests."Rouen-Brown also described the couple's love for Disney in the story as "bizarre," adding that "like everything in our childhood, there comes a point where you have to let go." Some members of the "Disney adult" community <a href="https://www.insider.com/what-are-disney-adult-fans-2021-8#and-ultimately-its-the-intensity-of-disney-adults-that-makes-the-community-so-strong-7">previously told Insider</a> they often receive judgment and online trolling as a result of their outward love of the brand, but still remain proudly committed to the fanbase. <h2>Further controversy ensued as an academic went viral comparing a love of Disney to religious belief</h2>On June 6, Jodi Eichler-Levine, a religious studies professor at <a href="https://religion.cas.lehigh.edu/content/dr-jodi-eichler-levine">Lehigh University in Pennsylvania</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/jeichlerlevine/status/1533909820453142530">reshared</a> a screenshot of the original Reddit post, saying that a love of Disney should be treated in the same way as religious belief. In a <a href="https://twitter.com/jeichlerlevine/status/1533909820453142530">thread</a> of tweets, Eichler-Levine wrote, "Religion is a way of making meaning in the world through stories and rituals. It is about a network of relationships with the human and non-human." She went on to say that, "All of this happens at Disney." <blockquote class="twitter-tweet blockquote" data-lang="en" data-cards="" data-conversation="">—Jodi Eichler-Levine (@jeichlerlevine) <a href="https://twitter.com/mims/statuses/1533909820453142530">June 6, 2022</a></blockquote>Eichler-Levine continued by comparing the "promise of magic" during visits to Disney resorts with emotional religious experiences by saying, "I've seen people cry at the fireworks. Many times." The thread received a mixed response, with 6,000 likes and 3,800 quote tweets, triggering a wider debate about Disney-adults <keyword id="11899151" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="100" keywordseo="culture" source="Orion">culture</keyword>.Some Twitter users said they disagreed strongly with Eichler-Levine's suggestions, arguing the comparison was "<a href="https://twitter.com/moorehn/status/1534198647763652609">harmful</a>" and suggesting it was more akin to an <a href="https://twitter.com/moorehn/status/1534201095559565312">addiction</a>.However, others agreed with Eichler-Levine, saying that they thought going to Disney World can be a <a href="https://twitter.com/bakerjjw/status/1534146917214691329">"healing experience"</a> because it can help people connect to their "inner child," and create <a href="https://twitter.com/MariaAragon64/status/1534222112394715136">"fond memories"</a> and nostalgia.<blockquote class="twitter-tweet blockquote" data-lang="en" data-cards="" data-conversation="">—John W. Baker (@bakerjjw) <a href="https://twitter.com/mims/statuses/1534146917214691329">June 7, 2022</a></blockquote><a href="https://twitter.com/BaileyCompton6/status/1533941096354664450">Some</a> <a href="https://twitter.com/BernadetteMcLi2/status/1534171947931680768">people</a> who said they agreed with Eichler-Levine identified as Disney adults themselves, saying they felt a special connection to the brand and its characters. Dr. Amy M. Davis, a film studies lecturer at the University of Hull in the UK who also <a href="https://twitter.com/DrAmyMDavis/status/1533971217983623168">tweeted</a> that she agreed with Eichler-Levine, told Insider that being a fan of Disney is just as "normal" as being part of any fandom."Everyone alive today has grown up with Disney, and see no reason to stop enjoying it just because they're no longer children, given the variety of entertainment it offers its fans," she said. Eichler-Levine and Davis did not immediately respond to Insider's request for comment.<a href="https://www.insider.com/culture">For more stories like this, check out coverage from Insider's Digital Culture team here.</a>

A viral post about a controversial Disney wedding has sparked debate about the psychology of 'Disney adults'

New Delhi, May 4 () Indian tennis great Leander Paes on Monday stressed on the need to focus on learning new skills during the coronavirus-forced lockdown to keep oneself mentally and physically fit. Speaking at an Education Webinar for coaches, jointly organised by the All India Tennis Association (AITA) and the Sports Authority of India (SAI), Paes touched upon various topics including his junior days, transition to men's circuit, the role mental fitness plays in tennis, dealing with pressure, nutritional knowledge and coaching tips. "It is important to focus on learning new skills during the lockdown," Paes said on how to best utilise the time away from tennis action and keep oneself active and mentally fit. India has been under lockdown for more than a month now to contain the highly contagious disease, raising concerns about mental health of athletes. Talking about what keeps him going even at the age of 46, Paes said: "For me, the relationships that I have had through tennis are the things that I cherish the most. "Those relationships over generations are what's special," the 18-time Grand Slam champion was quoted as saying by AITA's official website. The Atlanta Olympic bronze medallist also went down memory lane and singled out RK Khanna and Anil Khanna for special mention. "When I started playing tennis, R.K Khanna was the president of the AITA. I would not be who I am today without Khanna because he actually helped me in the juniors, as a 14 or 15 year-old," he said. "He helped me get into the ITF junior team. At that point, my family could not afford all the international coaching. And after that, Anil Khanna, who was the president, took over the mantle of support." Paes also had a message for coaches who had joined the webinar. "Greatest joy you can have is to see your students do well at tennis. Use the sport as a vehicle to make them good human beings," he signed off. ATK AHAH

It is important to focus on learning new skills during lockdown: Paes

By Amanpreet Singh New Delhi, Apr 14 () India's tennis players -- both current and former -- are not just counting financial losses as they cope with the fallout of the COVID-19 pandemic. What worries them equally is the time lost and a future which is hazy right now. The closure of the Pro Tour means that doubles exponent Purav Raja is set to lose at least USD 50,000 in this lockdown period, according to his own assessment. Prajnesh Gunneswaran, Jeevan Nedunchezhiyan and Divij Sharan can't exactly tell how much they would lose but considering the fact that they are consistently in contention to be in Grand Slam main draws, the massive financial hit is not difficult to assess. Former Davis Cup captain and one of the greatest Indian tennis players Mahesh Bhupathi says the need of the hour is to "keep the ecosystem alive". "It has to be kept alive. The players, coaches, markers even ball boys in clubs. Lawn Tennis Association (LTA) and FFT (French Tennis Federation) have announced packages but they have lots of money," Bhupathi told . This is exactly what Davis Cup coach Zeeshan Ali, Fed Cup captain Vishal Uppal and another India coach Ashutosh Singh are doing. They all run academies and have not stopped the salaries of their respective coaches, taking a hit that runs into lakhs. There are 3827 certified coaches in India and around 10,000 Assistant coaches. There would be thousands others who are not registered with AITA but attached with at least 2000 academies across the country. "Your values reflect in crisis. We are tennis servants. We have been associated with the game for so long. Definitely, it's a hit that we are taking but you can't ditch people who have been loyal to you," said Ashutosh, who runs a private academy at DLTA. Ashutosh has five coaches and has committed to pay their salary without any cut. Similarly, Zeeshan who runs an academy in Bengaluru with a staff of 12, has been paying salaries to his coaches, "We are not in a industry where we can work from home and earn. We have outstation coaches and we gave them the option to go back if they wanted. We are paying them and hope to continue to pay them but can we afford to pay them indefinitely?," he asked. Uppal, who has a staff of 14, pays about Rs 4.5 lakh a month in salaries. He says they have not stopped payments but fears once the lockdown is over, parents may not send all the kids back. "We have to see how many players comeback. Sports is still largely a recreational activity in India. It's not a necessity. They won't stop paying school fee but sports is extra-curricular activity. In case there are job losses, sport will suffer," he warns. Uppal said the government needs to take some drastic steps to revive tennis and other sports in the country. "There will be economic chaos. The government has to abolish GST on sports and bring it under education. We are also imparting knowledge. There is 18 percent GST on on academies, it's unfair." The players feel the national federation now must stand up to offer support. "The long shutdown will definitely impact all of us. We have a limited career span as a sportsperson, so this break definitely takes away from that. A lot of the national federations have pledged support to their players," Divij Sharan told from England. "AITA has said it will formulate a plan to support the Indian players. We will all be waiting to hear more about this and hope it can alleviate some of the financial pressure that the players are facing." Prajnesh said no travel means no cost to players but there are other expenditures involved. "It definitely has financial impact for the players. Especially the ones who have constant expenses for example an annual commitment for coaching etc. Most players outside of 150 in India are spending money and not making money. Since most players in India are outside that ranking, they really aren't spending any more than they did before the lockdown." "The main downside in my opinion is that players lose time, so one cannot improve and get to a place where tennis helps them earn a living." Jeevan Nedunchehiyan said the way forward is forming a players' council which works in tandem with AITA. "With the ATP tour on hold I won't be making any income until we can compete again which is why I think it would be great for the players to step up , create a players' council which works with AITA to better the Indian tour," he said. India's top woman singles player Ankita Raina says AITA's role starts only once some normalcy resumes. "I think they should start region wise prize money national ranking tournaments. This will be an opportunity for strengthening our national circuit and it will cut down travel, at the same time keep players in match zone. "Plan for next year to conduct more international level tournaments in India so that Indians are in a position to earn more since travel and other expenses will be lesser in India than abroad," she said. AT PM PM

Not just money, we are losing time too: Indian tennis players talk about COVID-19 fallout

<div class="KonaFilter image-container display-table"><div><div class="image on-image"><img src="https://static-ssl.businessinsider.com/image/5d83e97b2e22af372c71a10f-2400/reddit.jpg" border="0" alt="Reddit" data-mce-source="Omar Marques/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images" data-mce-caption="Reddit wants to build a big advertising business">Omar Marques/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images</img></div></div></div><ul class="summary-list"><li>With thousands of subreddits and users, <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/category/reddit">Reddit</a> is known as a somewhat toxic place online.</li><li>Twitter accounts that aggregate the best posts of specific subreddits are becoming more popular, and I can't get enough of them.</li><li>These accounts eliminate the need to sift through possible racist, sexist, and homophobic posts, offering an easy way to enjoy the bright spots of Reddit.</li><li><a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/?hprecirc-bullet">Visit Business Insider's homepage for more stories</a>.</li></ul>The social media website <a href="https://www.businessinsider.com/category/reddit">Reddit</a> is made up of thousands of different forums, called "subreddits," devoted to different topics.Like any online community that reaches a certain thresh hold of users, space is liable to becoming toxic. Reddit bills itself as "the front page of the Internet," so, unfortunately, it comes with all the problems that plague the rest of the Internet, including racism, misogyny, homophobia, and other things generally upsetting.Outlets like The <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2012/07/why-reddit-so-anti-women-epic-reddit-thread-counts-ways/325357/">Atlantic</a> and <a href="https://jezebel.com/reddit-is-officially-the-worst-possible-place-for-rape-5904323">Jezebel </a>have reported on how toxic Reddit can be for women, and this applies to just about every marginalized group. The website has a history of deeply offensive subreddits, many of which have been <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Controversial_Reddit_communities">banned</a>, like "FatPeopleHate," premised on being hateful towards people over their appearance, or "Creepshots," where (usually male) users post sexualized images of women without their consent.Reddit has tried to be vigilant and update its <a href="https://www.theverge.com/2019/9/30/20891920/reddit-harassment-bullying-threats-new-policy-change-rules-subreddits">anti-harassment rules</a>, although this hasn't totally eliminated the problem. Even though these specific subreddits were shut down, people who frequented them can still post in other threads, and sexist, racist, homophobic attitudes pop up in other subreddits all the time in my experience.These kinds of posts can make Reddit basically inaccessible for many people who don't want to face posts that dehumanize them. For survivors of sexual violence, for example, the violent words and imagery can be triggering, and finding fun posts on Reddit is not worth the potential risk of seeing something terrible.Subreddits exist for nearly every topic you can think of. Some are dedicated to posters asking for advice from the wider Reddit community on a variety of topics. On <a href="https://t.co/W4VOZDMP8H?amp=1">r/relationships</a>, people post asking for advice on friendships, family, and romantic relationships.<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/">R/AITA</a>, which stands for Am I the A--hole, is a place for users to lay out a sometimes one-sided scenario, and hopefully get validation that they were not, in fact, the jerk in the situation. The <a href="https://t.co/3SbON93oUh?amp=1">legal advice subreddit</a> is, as you'd expect, a place for people to ask for answers to their legal questions from members who don't always claim to be legal experts.Some of the posts on these subreddits can be genuinely hilarious, the kind of thing you send in all your group chats. The problem comes in when you have to wade through sad, offensive, or just annoying posts to get to the good stuff. For every funny but benign relationship post, there are a few that have been upvoted to the top of the page that seem too outlandish to be real or have genuinely upsetting details that only a professional would be qualified to comment on.Well, what if there was a way to get a curated feed of only the best posts on these and your other favorite subreddits?Enter: Twitter.Each of these subreddits has Twitter accounts that almost exclusively tweet posts from the forums. But these aren't bots, uncritically reposting everything. Instead, the people running these accounts handpick the best of the best. It's not a perfect system - someone still has to read through the whole subreddit to find the posts worth sharing - but it saves most of us from reading through depressing post after depressing post.&#xa0;This is an opinion column. The thoughts expressed are those of the author(s).

Twitter accounts that aggregate Reddit are easier and better to read than Reddit itself

<ul class="summary-list"><li>The <keyword id="6358814" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="wedding">wedding</keyword> subreddit is a one-stop destination for engaged couples.</li><li>Brides and grooms-to-be post everything from questions about venues and dresses to photos from their big days.</li><li>Unlike other subs on the website, the channel is inherently positive, with the users forming a digital community they can't often find in real life.</li><li>"It's such a positive corner of the internet," one user said of the page.</li></ul>Planning a wedding takes a village. Some engaged couples turn to their bridal parties, future in-laws, planners, and friends who have already planned their once-in-a-lifetime event for help at every turn.But for members of <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/wedding/">the wedding subreddit</a>, an online community of other engaged people is just as important as that real-life support system. <h2>The wedding subreddit describes itself as a one-stop wedding hub</h2>The page has been active since 2008, forming as a resource for engaged couples as they plan their <keyword id="6367159" type="UNKNOWN" weightage="60" keywordseo="weddings">weddings</keyword> and evolving over its 12-year history.There are other wedding-related subreddits, like <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/weddingplanning">wedding planning</a> and <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Weddingsunder10k">weddings under 10K</a>, but the main wedding page features posts about engagements, planning, and photos of weddings.Some people use the page as a source of advice, asking other brides and grooms how they dealt with problems with caterers or an opinionated maid of honor. Others share wedding photos to the page after their big days, as it allows them to relive the fun with a bigger audience. And some future brides even share photos of their wedding dresses to the page before they show their fiancés."It was just a cool way to see different ideas that people had," Cynthia Rodriguez, who has been a member of the wedding subreddit for about nine months, told Insider. She usually checks the page once a day, though it's been more frequent since a photo of her at her wedding started getting some attention on the page.The subreddit has just over 85,000 members, many of whom joined before they were even engaged.The non-engaged on the page are referred to as "lurkers" among the group. Engagement announcements in the sub are often accompanied by captions like "<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/wedding/comments/9xgi16/long_time_lurker_engaged_october_7_2018/">long time lurker</a>," with members celebrating when a user can officially join the almost-married club.<h2>Unlike other subreddits, the wedding page is almost entirely filled with positive posts and comments</h2>There are over 1.8 million subreddits, but few are as positive as the weddings sub. "It's a generally very friendly atmosphere and community," Rodriguez said of the page. "Obviously there are some subreddits where people are looking to be catty with each other and not helpful, but the wedding subreddit is mostly people who are very sincere about their responses and people are supportive and helpful with each other."Erin Meyer, who has been a member of the page for a little over a year, echoed Rodriguez: "It really is just a super positive community."She told Insider that she never made or commented on posts until she joined weddings."It's just such a positive corner of the internet," Meyer said. She recently shared a photo of herself in her wedding gown with the subreddit, highlighting her weight-loss journey since she bought her gown with the post."Especially as a larger lady, it can be scary to post yourself on the internet because people can be really cruel behind keyboards," Meyer told Insider. "But everyone was so positive."Sarah Pilkington, a 27-year-old bride who plans to get married in October, has had the same experience."Planning a wedding is so stressful, especially with everything else going on in the world, and it's nice to have a place where people understand exactly what you are going through and are experiencing the same things," she said."It just kind of feels like a safe space," Rodriguez added. "For it to stay so positive considering how many people are in it is very interesting."Part of the reason for its positivity might be that people who are looking to criticize engagement rings head to the <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/ringshaming/">ring shaming sub</a>, while those with gripes about their betrothed or soon-to-be in-laws look to pages like <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AITA/">AITA</a> and <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/">relationships</a>.<h2>The subreddit has been an invaluable resource for couples who have had to postpone their weddings as a result of the coronavirus</h2>People always post questions in the subreddit, but Meyer, Rodriguez, and Pilkington said it's become even more helpful amid the pandemic, as so many couples are facing uncharted issues when it comes to planning.<div type="image" title="Bride and groom silhouette" height="2255" width="3006" msid="76530539" hostid="261"></div>"Trying to plan a wedding or having a wedding during 2020 has been a really weird experience," Meyer said. "<keyword id="334157" type="COMPANY" weightage="60" keywordseo="Reddit">Reddit</keyword> has been a big point of support, especially since everything's changed."Meyer and her fiancé had to reschedule their celebration, which was set for October 2020, to September 2021. Meyer also said that hearing how other couples are handling the pandemic helped her make the decision to postpone. "It's kind of unifying to have a place to talk about it," she told Insider. Rodriguez said the subreddit has also become more helpful for her amid the pandemic. She and her husband got married in June in a virtual ceremony at their house."I obviously have a lot of friends who've gotten married, but other than one person, nobody else has really had to postpone and figure out how to deal with the logistics of a wedding that was supposed to happen during a pandemic," Rodriguez said. The subreddit is stepping in to give her much needed advice and perspective.Although much of the country has reopened in recent weeks, engaged couples are still wondering if they should <a href="https://www.insider.com/dont-reschedule-wedding-for-spring-2021-pandemic-wont-be-over-2020-5">reschedule their weddings</a>, so brides and grooms are still asking each other questions about venues and contracts on the wedding subreddit daily.<h2>But the best thing about the wedding subreddit is that it gives brides and grooms a place to discuss their weddings as much as they want</h2>"Having planned a wedding for the past 10 months, it's on my mind a lot," Rodriguez said."I know that my friends don't want to constantly hear about it, so I'm understanding with them, and I don't want to constantly bring it up and make things about myself," she continued. "Being able to read other people's questions and comments and posting myself helps alleviate the constant thinking about it without worrying about bothering anybody."Rodriguez also thinks the page stays positive because people only talk about their weddings on the page. "People specifically seek it out because they are either planning on getting married or daydreaming about it and looking for ideas," she said."It's generally neutral territory," Rodriguez added. "It doesn't get political, which I think can bring out the worst in people and kind of attracts drama."The sub also gives brides and grooms a place to talk about their problems without judgment. "There's just so many emotions and opinions from everyone while planning, so it's nice to be able to go somewhere where not everyone has something to say and you can just vent a bit," Pilkington said.Meyer added that the subreddit makes engaged couples feel less alone."There's always someone who has been through what you're going through or is going through it now with you as well," she said, adding that she's met people in the group who have been married for years and still go to the page to offer support. "They can empathize about something that happened in your wedding planning process without emotional baggage."You can visit the wedding subreddit <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/wedding/">here</a>.<ul class="read-more-links"><li>Read more:</li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-shaming-reddit-bridezilla-facebook-groups-2020-2">A beginner's guide to wedding shaming: First comes love, then comes marriage — then comes the internet to rip you to shreds</a></li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/dont-reschedule-wedding-for-spring-2021-pandemic-wont-be-over-2020-5">Stop rescheduling your wedding for spring 2021 — the pandemic still won't be over</a></li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/wedding-shaming-reddit-brides-lives-matter-sign-2020-6">Wedding-shaming Reddit calls out a woman standing next to a tone-deaf 'Brides Lives Matter' sign</a></li><li><a href="https://www.insider.com/reddits-ask-advice-communities-beginners-guide-to-internet-2020-2">An insider's guide to Reddit's advice communities — where strangers solicit and give tips on everything from STDs to what to have for dinner</a></li></ul>

You Searched For "AITA" and got 8 results

The best 'Am I the A--hole' posts on Reddit and Twitter that made us all feel better in 2020

Julia Naftulin,Canela López

Welcome to the rabbit hole of agony aunt-killer subreddits, where users discuss money, love, and villainy

Kai Xiang Teo

'Pointless' meetings aren't the productivity drain bosses seem to think

Sirena Bergman

A viral post about a controversial Disney wedding has sparked debate about the psychology of 'Disney adults'

Charissa Cheong

It is important to focus on learning new skills during lockdown: Paes

PTI

Not just money, we are losing time too: Indian tennis players talk about COVID-19 fallout

PTI

Twitter accounts that aggregate Reddit are easier and better to read than Reddit itself

Mary Meisenzahl

From 'lurker' to bride-to-be, how one wedding subreddit became the one-stop destination for newly engaged people in need of support

Samantha Grindell