What Is Twitter For?

Twitter helps people form opinions based on celebrities' opinions. At least that's what I'm told.

Follow Jim at @JimSearch.

Twitter is my remote control for the internet.

Follow Seth at @sfiegerman.

A cry for help.

Follow Missy at @TheMissyBaker.

Twitter is for people who want to scream witticisms into the wind, until they have enough followers to make them feel nice.

Follow Ryan at @funnysorensen.

Today's tweets are tomorrow's Gawker posts, which are the day after tomorrow's news.

Follow Chris at @mims.

Twitter is an endless exposed brick wall in front of which, deliberately or not, we all tell different variations of "What's the deal with airline food?" until we all die.

Follow Ed at @edzitron.

Twitter is for following all the people who refused my friend requests on Facebook (read: the cute girl who sat in front of me in sophomore history class...Hi Karen!)

Follow Scott at @ScottNossen.

Twitter is a personal therapy app that helps you feel validated by awarding you with little stars and arrows.

Follow Rurik at @RurikBradbury.

Twitter is for voicing your thoughts and relieving yourself from having to turn them into actions. It is the great capitulation.

Follow Corbin at @CorbinCraft.

I lik twweter b/c itz the futuur of converzation. #nobama

Follow Ben at @BenBerkon.

Twitter is for increasing class consciousness and agitating the masses into a communist revolution. Just kidding, it's for sex jokes.

Follow Rob at @freecialis.

This is the 4G hotspot you should use >