This ex Scotland Yard man, who negotiated with terrorists for living, explains the Art of Persuasion

In almost every role and walk of life there is a need to influence other people. From sales to advertising to interviews, influence is everywhere. Influence is an art, and one that needs to be understood. What works in one situation may not work in another. In other words, the effectiveness of any influence technique can be situational.

And who could explain it better than a negotiator at the Scotland Yard. Yes, you heard it right. We recently interviewed Richard Mullender, a Former Lead Trainer at the National Hostage and Crisis Negotiation Unit, Scotland Yard and he told us the secrets of persuasion.

Manipulation and Persuasion

People often talk manipulation and persuasion as different terms, what’s the basic difference between them or is there one? When asked, Richard said, “The main difference is intent, if I have a bad intent then its manipulation.” He further stated that we need to understand what we are dealing with, when in a situation; else things might take a wrong turn. Identifying intent is what makes businesses take a leap (for instance-- ‘Your investor/s’)

Negotiation

Mr Mullender being a part of Scotland Yard went through many negotiations starting from people trying to commit suicides to terrorists asking ransoms. When asked about his most difficult deal, in a retort he said, “The Afghanistan negotiation.”The things he said after that holds huge value for businesses, especially early stage start-ups.

He said, “You’re not just negotiating with this one person, you’re negotiating with the people, the person/group behind him and the person behind you. Even if you come to a point and crack a deal, the authorities might not be satisfied and then again you go ahead and negotiate again. The process goes on until you have that expected hand.”

The power of Communication

We all understand the importance of communication but do we effectively use it in situations? How do I negotiate for a raise? What methodology should I use during ‘salary negotiation’? What we could confer from the conversation was just one small thing that we all know and tend to ignore—‘effective listening’. Richard clearly stated that If one is a good listener, he can be paramount at negotiation.

Let them tell you everything, from their secrets to the minor details and then you present your point. Once you get that pressure point/ secret, use it until you get what you want.