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There's one part of the SoulCycle IPO filing no one can stop laughing about

Jul 31, 2015, 00:57 IST

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Getty/Michael Buckner

SoulCycle, the cycling gym and owner of a now ubiquitous clothing line, is going public and the filing paperwork is, in a word, cringeworthy.

If you're not into platitudes about the body, mind, and finding yourself with the help of a loving exercise community, do not read beyond this point.

Here's a snippet from the filing's summary:

Our Soul

We Aspire to Inspire.    Our mission is to bring Soul to the people. SoulCycle instructors guide riders through an inspirational, meditative fitness experience designed to benefit the body, mind and soul. Set in a dark, candlelit room to high-energy music, our riders move in unison as a pack to the beat, and follow the cues and choreography of the instructor. The experience is tribal. It is primal. And it is fun.

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Our classes follow a signature format, yet every SoulCycle experience is unique.... Based on the impact we've had on our riders' physical and mental well-being,we believe SoulCycle is more than a business, it's a movement.

Your Soul Matters.    We are a "culture of yes." Our core values are service and hospitality. We believe every ride matters; every rider matters. All of our employees complete initial, as well as ongoing, hospitality training at our "Soul University" to ensure exceptional service across the organization...

Pack. Tribe. Community.    At SoulCycle, our riders feed off the group's shared energy and motivation to push themselves to their greatest potential. In becoming part of our community, our riders are instilled with greater awareness of not only their bodies but also their emotions. We believe this awareness leads to healthier decisions, relationships and lives. We are not a business that values only transactions, rather we create a community that cultivates and sustains relationships. Our immersive culture of inspiration and empowerment contributes to the engaged and connected rider base in each of our studios.

Once this hit the internet, the Twitter crowd took to pulling out lines, with several noting that the descriptions made the company sound like a cult

 

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SoulCycle declined to comment beyond the filing, citing the pre-IPO quiet period.

Goldman Sachs, Cowen, William Blair, Bank of America Merrill Lynch, Citi, and RBC are handling the IPO. 

Hopefully they like tribal experiences.

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