There's one big reason people are obsessed with that '#MarryTheGirl' trend

In 2014, actress and writer Lauren Skirvin wrote an article for Elite Daily titled "8 Reasons Why You Should Marry The Complicated Girl."

Though it's not the only type of "marry the girl" list on the internet, it struck a chord with readers and is still shared by thousands of people across Twitter and Facebook. It's been viewed nearly 2 million times.

"Complicated girls are creative and, at times, emotional," Skirvin wrote in her original piece. "She may also have a touch of what some people call 'crazy' or 'bitchy.' But, no one will love you better. No one will make love to you with as much passion."

Skirvin's 2014 story has been shared over 700,000 times on Facebook, not to mention the hundreds of screenshots posted on Twitter of the eight reasons, such as "marry the girl who demands your respect" and "marry the girl who pushes you to be better every day."

Why? Our egos. According to Skirvin's original article, the "complicated girl" has expectations, she demands respect, she can talk about politics, she is passionate, and pushes her other half to be better.

So who is this complicated girl? Turns out, it's every girl:

Just like horoscopes, the description is designed to be flattering and universal enough that practically anyone who reads it can relate.

Now you can understand the millions of views, shares, likes, and tweets on Skirvin's story.

There's a great line exchange in "When Harry Met Sally" where Billy Crystal tells Meg Ryan there are two types of women: high maintenance and low maintenance.

"What am I?" Ryan asks.

"Oh you're the worst kind. You're high maintenance but you think you're low maintanence," Crystal informs her.

Skirvin's iteration on this classic take has taken on several forms over the years.

There's Date a girl who writes and date the girl who reads, date the girl who travels and date a girl from a large family.

There's also a somewhat-controversial date a girl who doesn't need you - insinuating women who would lean on their partners are weaker than those who wouldn't, though trust and support are a natural cornerstone to any healthy relationship.

If Twitter is any indication, it's largely women who are sharing these lists.

"I think that we like to see ourselves resonating in these articles," explained Dr. Robin Milhausen, an associate Professor of Family Relations and Human Sexuality at the University of Guelph. "We see ourselves as complicated and rich individuals and rich in terms of personality and depth."

 

It's worth pointing out that these lists highlight a variety of positive characteristics, like independence and the ability to share.

These are a nice departure from the books and manuals throughout history policing women's behavior like the 1973 book "The Total Woman," which became infamous for encouraging wives to meet their husbands at the door wearing only saran wrap and holding a martini. Or how about Helen Andelin's "Fascinating Womanhood" that gave examples on how to best manipulate your husband.

Not to mention the countless other books and written texts on the subject, some dating all the way back to the Victorian era.

Yet even though Skirvin rejects the please-your-man trope that no longer seems to accord with today's society, what's still troublesome about these generalizing lists is their formula: Women are this way solely because they are trying to convince men to wise up and give in to marriage or a relationship.

Milhausen was unsurprised that Skirvin's list and so many like it are so focused on marriage and dating since women have been taught that their success still hinges on relationships.

"Marriage is a very solid institution in North America, most people strive to get married and women in particular are raised to be really relational in nature," Milhausen told TI. "A measure of our success is getting married, having a house, and having children." 

Even if marriage or love is the main goal for all people - men and women - Milhausen points out that there are rarely any corresponding lists for guys.

"It's just an extension of giving women some really unrealistic and sometimes contradictory standards to live up to," she said to TI. "I think [these types of lists] fit with the unrealistic standards for women we hold generally and there's a really obvious vacancy in that there's nothing about men in a similar vein."

There are a few male driven lists - "4 Reasons You Should Marry the Emotionally Complex Man" or "15 Reasons You Should Marry a Jewish Man" - but they can't hold a candle to the viral power of the "date the girl" or "marry the girl" lists in terms of shares or comments or likes on Facebook and other social platforms.

"It makes me tired reading [these lists]," Milahusen said. "I do not think they're helpful and we should just circulate blog posts and messages that say be yourself, you're awesome. That's it."