Graham Denholm/Getty Images for the VRC Many rich parents fear raising entitled children.
- Many rich people fear their kids will be entitled and lack purpose.
- According to one wealth adviser, wealthy parents should prioritize three things when raising their kids: don't give them everything they want, allow them to work, and let them fail.
- The biggest mistake wealthy parents are making is not allowing for these three things, she says.
Rich kids might evoke the stereotype of spoiled trust-fund babies, but high-net-worth parents are trying to raise the opposite of that.
Rachel Sherman, author of "Uneasy Street: The Anxieties of Affluence," wrote after interviewing 50 affluent New York families that most feared their children would be entitled.
"They want [their kids] to be healthy, happy productive members of society with a purpose," Judy Spalthoff, executive director and head of family and philanthropy advisery at UBS Wealth Management, told Business Insider. "It's about making the wealth helpful and an opportunity versus a burden and not discouraging them from following their own path."
As Washington Post writer Thomas Heath puts it, rich people want their kids to be advantaged, but not at the cost of ambition.
The biggest concern of one client Spalthoff worked with who didn't graduate from college and built his business and wealth on his own was that his children would lack the significant drive he had. "It's an incredible fine line," she said.
While some kids of wealthy parents may be relying on inheritance in the form of cash or assets, Spalthoff says there's a three-pronged approach parents can utilize to raise productive and unspoiled children: don't give them everything they want, allow them to work, and let them fail.
"[These] are vital to the success of being productive members of society," she said.
While Spalthoff sees a lot of families consciously aware of how their wealth can affect their kids, the biggest mistakes they can make are not allowing for these three things, she says.