Women on TikTok are ironically identifying as 'female manipulators' as part of a trend inspired by fictional villains

• Women on TikTok are using a "female manipulator" trend to praise behaviour of fictional villains.
• They say their posts are intended ironically, and that using humor helps them cope.

On TikTok, videos recommending books and movies that are widely believed to feature "problematic" or "unlikable" female protagonists are a genre in and of themselves, and they often feature the hashtag #femalemanipulator, which has racked up over 77 million views.

The backing track to female manipulator content often features music by Mitski, Lana Del Rey, and Fiona Apple — frequently referred to as the "sad girls" of the internet since the early 2010s. Characters such as Amy Dunne from the 2014 film "Gone Girl" — who has been described as the most disturbing female villain of all time — are celebrated under the tag as relatable and empowering.

Other characters embraced by the "female manipulator" content include Fleabag from the 2016 TV show of the same name and the unnamed narrator in Ottessa Moshfegh's 2018 novel "My Year of Rest and Relaxation," both of whom are widely considered flawed and unlikeable, and users encourage their followers to emulate their behavior.

Many creators say that "female manipulator" jokes are an ironic way to play with the stereotypes of "female villains," but some TikTokers and experts have expressed concerns that this kind of content could glamorize unhealthy relationships and make light of emotional manipulation.

Creators say the ironic trend is a way to reclaim their power from men

Alexandra Carmona, a 22-year-old from California who posts female manipulator videos, told Insider her content is "kind of an ironic thing."

She defines a female manipulator as the "kind of girl who is just mysterious and too cool. Think of a manic pixie dream girl, only she's not there to save the male protagonist, she's there to make his life hell."

Alexandra believes the tag is not about promoting manipulation, but "calling ourselves out and coping with our own issues by making a joke out of it."

Alaska Brumbaugh, a 16-year-old from Virginia who uses "they" and "them" pronouns, described female-manipulator TikTok as a "a safe space for evil women who are often the problem," in a post with over 48,000 likes. Brumbaugh told Insider they also participate in the trend "mostly ironically, but there's always a bit of truth."

"I gravitated towards it as a teenage girl who felt pressured by men. It's like a silly way to take back the power. It's all in good fun," they added.

Critics of the trend worry it could be normalizing damaging behavior

Jules Johnson, a 22-year-old TikTok user from South Carolina said she often sees "female manipulator" content on TikTok, but finds the trend "nihilistic" and "hollow."

"In the female manipulator space there's a lot of focus on getting back at men when you could direct that energy towards loving other women," she told Insider.

Johnson said she doesn't disagree with women joking about "the distasteful sides of their personality," but added that, "once you take it to a point where you are encouraging that culture of doomerism and cynicism and focusing all your energy into negativity, instead of creating a more positive space for women to express themselves, that's when I have a problem with it."

Scotland-based psychotherapist Ruth Michallef told Insider that joking about emotional manipulation could "minimize its significance and become an unhelpful coping mode," potentially normalizing such behavior and becoming damaging to our relationships.

Couples counselor Dr Akua Boateng told Insider that female manipulator content could particularly influence young viewers who are already vulnerable, leading them to see it as a viable way of dealing with relationships.

She said, "Without the proper education and coaching from parents and authorities in their life, it could be harmful for them to believe this as truth."

Despite her concerns, Michallef doesn't think criticizing this content is helpful.

"Instead of calling women out for using this coping mode, I think it's more important to call them in, to encourage them to receive the love and support they need to heal from the traumas and adversities that likely brought them to this space," she said.

For more stories like this, check out coverage from Insider's Digital Culture team here.