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Viewers praised a TikToker's unusual tactic to make her husband give her flowers. But a couples' therapist disagrees.

Jul 26, 2023, 20:04 IST
Insider
The TikToker handed her husband a bouquet of flowers and pushed him back outside.@brittthebubblybarista / TikTok
  • A viral TikTok video of a woman making her husband give her flowers has been praised by viewers.
  • But a couples' therapist has said that this is "not the most effective" approach.
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A viral TikTok video of a woman buying herself flowers and then reacting as if her husband had gifted them to her has led to a conversation about getting your needs met in a relationship.

In the video posted on July 9, Brittany Johnson, who goes by the TikTok username @brittthebubblybarista, could be seen standing by the door with a bouquet of roses waiting for her husband to walk in.

When he did, she immediately thrust the flowers into his arms and pushed him back outside. When he walked back through the door holding the flowers, she hugged him and said, "Oh my gosh, thank you!" in a surprised tone. It was captioned, "When you want flowers from your husband."

The video has gone mega-viral, receiving over 26 million views, and a follow-up showing footage of the man captured from a doorbell camera received an additional 2.7 million.

Many viewers wrote that they thought it was a great idea, and commented on how funny her husband's reaction was. One viewer joked that it had inspired them to do the same thing to their partners, except with an engagement ring instead of flowers, to encourage him to propose.

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Several men in the comments wrote that if this had happened to them, they would have assumed their girlfriend had bought them flowers.

Responding to one comment, Johnson wrote that her husband is a "good sport," and that she "couldn't have asked for a better man."

This may not be the best way to get your needs met in a relationship

Despite the number of positive comments, a couples' therapist told Insider that there are more effective ways to address unmet needs in relationships.

"The general idea behind the TikTok is that she's expressing a need or want to her husband, which on its face is great," said Dr. Isabelle Morley, a clinical psychologist specializing in couples therapy based in Boston, Massachussets.

While she said that it is important to share what we want and need with our partners because they are not mind readers, she said that the way the TikToker pursued it was "not the most effective," as she did not provide her partner with the opportunity to do it himself.

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"Think about how you'd feel if your loved one sent you a message asking to buy movie tickets for the weekend, versus them shoving tickets in your hand and telling them to give them to you as if it was a gift," Morley said. "You'd probably feel controlled, and also some passive aggression from your partner."

Instead, she suggested that a better approach would have been to send her partner a text such as, "Hey, I would absolutely love a surprise tonight, maybe some flowers, if you're up for it!"

Morley told Insider that "warmth, vulnerability, and directness" is always the way to go when it comes to relationships.

She said, "An honest and vulnerable request for your partner to meet a need will give them an opportunity to be there for you and make you happy, which will probably make them feel happy, too."

Johnson did not respond to Insider's request for comment.

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