- Liesel Julsrud and Sophia Marren found out they were dating the same guy through TikTok.
- They shared details of their relationships online after finding out about their joint predicament.
On an average day in March 2021, Liesel Julsrud, a 25-year-old law student based in Missouri, was scrolling through TikTok, as she often does, when she came across something that made her stop in her tracks.
Julsrud was watching a get-ready-with-me video — where creators film themselves dressing for a particular event. The TikToker in the video, Sophia Marren, said she was getting ready to go for dinner at the home of the man she was dating at the time, and she went on to film his kitchen as he made the meal.
@lifeoflees really said for you #fypシ #dating ♬ original sound - Taylor Dean
What made Julsrud's heart sink was the fact that she recognized the kitchen, and she recognized the man whose face was partially obscured in the clip. It was the same person she had been dating for the past five months, she told Insider.
Two years later Julsrud shared her story and it wound up reaching Marren. The pair came together thanks so social media, and thousands of viewers eagerly watched along to see the saga unfold.
It all began with an innocuous TikTok that went unexpectedly viral
Although Julsrud and her partner had not spoken about being exclusive, she told Insider she felt that they had a serious connection. A few days before she saw Marren's video, she called a break with him because she was frustrated by the fact that they were not progressing toward a more substantial commitment.
Still, she was shocked to see him with Marren, another woman from her area, in St Louis, who she knew of but was not friends with at the time.
Julsrud told Insider that her immediate reaction was to confront the man she had been seeing about the TikTok (The man's identity is known to Insider, but his name is being withheld due to concerns about online harassment.)
"I'm sure he got caught in a corner because he didn't make those videos," Julsrud said, adding, "But at the same time, if someone else posts something of you what can you do? It was beyond his control, and all he could say was, 'yeah, it's true,' because it's on video."
@lifeoflees Replying to @am_612_ ♬ original sound - lees
Julsrud ended the relationship, and said she was "traumatized" by the situation. It was almost two years later that she felt more able to joke about what happened. In January, she shared her story where the drama had begun — on TikTok.
"When you were on your FYP & came across a TikTok of a girl getting ready for dinner at a guy's house... and it was the guy you had seeing for five months," the on-screen caption on her post read.
Julsrud's post went viral, receiving 4.8 million views, and one of those viewers was Marren, 26, who up until now, had no idea that the man she was seeing at the time had been dating someone else.
@sophloafy #stitch with @lifeoflees so much was unpacked today lol #fyp #sophloafy #relationshiptok #ghostingstory #fboysbelike ♬ original sound - sophloafy | lifestyle + beauty
Marren, who had dated the man for seven months and ended things four months after the video was posted, reached out to Julsrud over Instagram, and the two women discussed their experiences. Both told Insider that they felt their relationship was serious, even if it wasn't technically exclusive, and felt misled by the man, who declined to comment for this article.
Thousands of TikTok viewers followed along to hear the story unfold
Both women went on to make several videos telling their TikTok followers about how their relationships panned out, and why they felt wronged in the way they were treated, receiving more than 7 million views between them.
Hundreds of commenters became highly invested in the details of their story, referring to their experiences as the "tea" — a slang term for drama or gossip — of the week on TikTok. While most commenters were hugely supportive of the two women, many also asked them to share increasingly personal details about who the man was.
Marren and Julsrud both told Insider the online attention became overwhelming, and that they tried to share their true thoughts about the situation while also respecting the man's privacy and not exposing his identity to millions of people.
@sophloafy #duet with @sophloafy #fyp @lees lmao good ol fiddle head #fyp #relationshiptok #sophloafy #ghosting ♬ original sound - sophloafy | lifestyle + beauty
"There was this boundary of like, I want to give as much as I can, but I'm also not about to just keep giving people what they want just because they want the story," Marren said.
"It was an interesting balance, especially when a lot of people online almost seem like they're there with pitchforks outside your house being like, 'show us the man!'" Julsrud added.
Social media can help women to band together and heal from past relationship hurts, the TikTokers said
Marren and Julsrud told Insider that sharing their stories with the internet allowed them to process their emotions, which helped them both on a personal level.
"It is like a form of therapy, just to joke about it and to talk about it with someone else," Julsraid said when she described her videos.
Marren added that receiving support from other people after telling her story boosted her confidence after it was shattered by her relationship.
"At the time, I blamed myself and did the normal, 'Oh, what did I do wrong?' or, 'Why didn't he like me?' But if anything, this situation, although it was super shitty, allowed me to start loving myself more," she told Insider.
The greatest reward for both women was seeing that they weren't alone, as their viral videos encouraged other women to come forward with comments about similar experiences.
"The good thing has been the kind of community, of women mostly, that this has built," Julsrud said, adding, "My biggest takeaway is that it's important to be a girls' girl and empower other women. We're taught so often as women to be against one another, and if you're seeing the same man, to want to claim them. We need to support each other and realize that that's a really cool thing."
Julsrud said that she is proud of herself and Marren for sharing a story of "women coming together," rather than turning on one another.
"I don't think I'm some kind of warrior that's going to change the dating scene just through my little jokey TikToks. But I mean, calling out behavior is important, and it's something that happens only rarely," she said.
Julrsud continued: "I'm glad we can be more open and talk about experiences, what to look out for, what red flags in relationships look like. I think it helps you feel less alone and more like you know what to look out for."
"Sometimes, the TikTok community can be really, really, great and supportive with getting you through breakups," she said.
For more stories like this, check out coverage from Insider's Digital Culture team here.