The world sees me as a supermodel, but my most important role is as a special needs mom and stepmom
- Lais Ribeiro is a former Victoria's Secret Angel.
- She's mom to a 15-year-old son who has autism.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Lais Ribeiro. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I was only 18 when I gave birth to my son, Alexandre. When I looked at him, I knew what unconditional love was. But becoming a young mom is challenging at the best of times. For me, it was especially tricky because my career as a model took off soon after having Alexandre.
I made the very difficult decision to leave Alexandre with my family in Brazil while I went to the US to work with major retailers, including Victoria's Secret. I knew I was working for a better future for my son and my family, but only being able to see him every three months was torture.
When Alexandre was 5, I was finally able to bring him to the US to live with me. That's when we learned that he had autism. I began my journey as a mom to a special needs child.
I wanted Alexandre to be independent
At first, I was in shock. I didn't know much about the condition, but I started researching and connecting with advocacy organizations like Autism Speaks. I learned more about Alexandre's needs and how I could help him become his best self.
I brought Alexandre to lots of therapies while teaching him how to be independent and advocate for himself. Through that, I realized that the biggest challenge we faced was breaking down the stigma around autism. I shared our story to build awareness and help people who were uninformed become more sensitive to families like ours.
Today, Alexandre is 15. He still loves spending time with me, even if he doesn't want my hugs and kisses anymore.
Now, I'm a stepmom to 2 younger children too
Last year I married my partner, Joakim Noah. Our wedding not only brought us officially together but also made me stepmom to Leia, 6, and Emaan, 4. My sister also lives with us, so we truly have a blended family.
My mom once told me to show discipline along with love. That advice has given me so much guidance and helped me be there for all my children — biological and not. Children need balance, especially from a parent like me, who travels frequently. It would be tempting to be all fun when I'm home, but that wouldn't be good parenting. I have to nurture the children while having plenty of good times along the way.
Balance has become easier as Alexandre gets older, even as our family expands. These days I have to travel less than I used to. When I do have work demands, Alexandre understands. He knows I'm working for our future, and he's proud of me.
Self-care used to be about how I look; now, it's about how I feel
I'm big into self-care. When I was younger, taking care of myself was about the way I looked. These days, it's more about how I feel. I love to relax and recharge in the sauna or by doing a cold plunge. I stay outside as much as possible — vitamin D always boosts my energy and helps me feel refreshed.
I'm lucky that Joakim and I love working out together. We do weight training sessions to spend quality time with each other while working on our health. On my own, I like Pilates. And as a family, we adore traveling and exploring new places that we can all enjoy.
Being the mom of a special needs child and leader of a blended family is challenging. While I'm well-known as a supermodel, supermom is the role that I try to focus on day after day. In fact, it's a role I want to step into even more: I'm almost ready for another baby. If and when that happens, I am looking forward to all of it, especially all the new memories our family will create together.