The life and controversies of YouTuber Trisha Paytas, from fiery feuds to identifying as 'a chicken nugget'

When Paytas started their channel, it was devoted to counting down the days to Quentin Tarantino film "Inglorious Basterds" and reading out raps and poems that they dedicated to the director. But Paytas' content evolved over the next year or two to include dieting vlogs, dating and beauty advice, and even an attempt to try and break the world record for speed talking — a skill that got them an appearance on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show."

As well as "Ellen," Paytas appeared on "America's Got Talent" and "Jimmy Kimmel LIVE!"

"To this day, I try not to say no to any opportunity to be introduced to a new audience," they told Insider. "The platform is always changing, growing and getting more and more saturated — you have to stay ahead of it all."

Back in 2010, Paytas claimed to be a tanning addict on an episode of "My Strange Addiction." In a YouTube video they further explained it helped with their "physical shape and acne." Paytas has been cast in episodes of "Modern Family" and "Who Wants to Be a Superhero?", and the movie "Wunderlust" which starred Paul Rudd and Jennifer Aniston.

Paytas also appeared in the music videos of several artists including Eminem, Amy Winehouse, The All-American Rejects, and Les Savy Fav.

In 2013, they were a guest on Dr Phil and spoke out against people who criticize their looks in a segment called "girls who bash girls who dress sexy."

Paytas began building more of an audience on YouTube when they started being more opinionated and experimenting with comedy skits, such as their video "Couples Therapy: Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett Johansson." They also received some attention for saying they were going to vote for Mitt Romney in 2012.

Paytas' character Trishii, for example, was supposed to be a Japanese popstar. Trishii even made a music video, which was taken down due to the backlash. Paytas explained in a video in 2012 the video was removed at the request of a woman who featured in it.

Paytas has admitted that some of their more outlandish videos were posted just to get the clicks. They told Business Insider their support of Romney was one of those cases, as was a video where they claimed "dogs don't have brains."

They said they thought "dumbing [them]self down" would get more views, and they didn't realize that more people would watch "if I was just real and true to who I was."

Paytas told Insider they owed a lot of their success on YouTube to Shane Dawson. They said they first met when they were cast as a stripper in one of his early YouTube videos.

"I remember going to Shane's house for the shoot, this was years before we even became friends and made our own videos together, but I was like 'What do you do?' straight up," she said. "He had this big house and was paying all these actors and crew to make videos and his mom told me it was all from YouTube."

Once Dawson told people about Paytas, it opened up the doors to grow their following, they said.

"I think everyone was weirded out by me but once I got the co-sign from Shane, more people were open to getting to know me and collabing with me and that meant a lot," they said. "Before that, I was about getting my face out on mainstream media wherever I could."

However, in January 2021, Paytas and Dawson's relationship fell apart, after Paytas feuded with Dawson's close friend Jeffree Star.

In November 2014, Paytas started their musical career with their first single — a cover of Eartha Kitt's "Santa Baby." The next April they released a video for a cover of Elvis Presley's "A Little Less Conversation," followed by an original song called "Fat Chicks" in May 2015.

"No one comes right out and says it: fat," Paytas told Business Insider at the time. "It's like this taboo word that people do take offense to, including me at one point, but why?"

They said it was "just taking a word that so many people describe me as and throwing it away."

"Like, I'm fat fat fat fat, is that good now?" they said. "Can we stop talking about that in every video I post and every picture I take?"

Paytas has nine albums in total.

In 2017, Paytas released "A Jesus Bop" and "I Love You Jesus," as an ode to their faith as a devout Roman Catholic. These tracks were followed up with "A Christmas Jesus Bop" in 2018 and "Jesus Rises (Easter Song)" in 2019.

The video for "A Jesus Bop" features a YouTuber who calls himself Jesus Christ, who used to make money on Fiverr reading out statements from fans.

Paytas has since begun to convert to Judaism since their engagement to Israeli artist Moses Hacmon.

Paytas has released 11 books, the first of which was titled "The History of My Insanity," released in 2013. Their latest book, "101 Poems About My Ex-Boyfriend," received generally favorable reviews.

In 2017, Paytas spoke about their experience in the house on Twitter and in two YouTube videos. They said it was the "worst experience" of their life and everyone else in the house was "fake."

They called Girls Aloud star Sarah Harding "trash," said "Ex On The Beach" contestant Jemma Lucy was "extremely aggressive," and that former "Hollyoaks" actor Paul Danan was a "fake ass."

In 2017, Paytas uploaded a video called "i'm no longer a person" where they walked around in their underwear and said they didn't want to be identified as Trisha, a female, or anything anymore.

"Because I no longer have an identity," they said. "I don't want to be made fun of or compared to my videos because they are no longer me. I am stepping back from a persona, from a person that is Trish."

They also said people shouldn't wear clothes.

Paytas dated Michael Anthony Hall from 2008 to 2013, then Roger Bart from 2013 to 2015. They talked about a number of their past relationships in a video titled "WHO WAS MY WORST BOYFRIEND EVER?"

In 2015, Paytas started dating musician and performer Sean van der Wilt. They released a song together called "Playground" which has over 4 million views on YouTube. They also posted the now notorious video together called "Showering with my Boyfriend!"

They were together for about a year until December 2016.

In 2016, Paytas publicly announced they had split up with van der Wilt in a video where they filmed themself crying on their kitchen floor — a trend they would soon become famous for.

The video, which was released in December 2016, was titled "he cheated. i'm done."

Paytas posted a subsequent video, "Sean Van Der Wilt Is Gay," where they revealed van der Wilt had kissed another man in a club. Paytas then received a wave of criticism from people saying they had publicly outed someone without their consent.

Paytas took the breakup and the criticism hard. They posted a confusing YouTube video titled "im a chicken nugget" a few days later. It has over a million views.

"When you feel like a chicken nugget, you feel like ... not delicious," Paytas said to the camera. "Well, you feel delicious, but you also feel, like, fried. And fake on the inside ... I'm pink goop and now I'm a chicken nugget."

They added: "I don't think I should be considered crazy for identifying as such."

When Insider asked whether talking to their subscribers through the camera helps them work through what they are feeling, Paytas said "absolutely!"

"Some people say I overshare but it's the only place I truly feel heard," they said. "I know now there are people out there who get exactly what I'm thinking, feeling, etc, even if my own IRL [in real life] friends and family don't get it."

They said they sometimes feel "so alone," so putting themself out there in such a "raw" way helps them connect to the hundreds of others who are going through the same thing. Even though some call them "crazy" or diagnose them with mental illnesses.

"We all are just trying to survive and the more we are open and talk about our struggles, the more other people will feel comforted and feel it's OK and they will get through the day, the week, the year as well," Paytas said. "The best part about recording myself at my lowest, is I always come out of the darkness and I can show others, as well as myself, it always gets better."

Paytas can look back at videos six months ago to see how much their life has improved, they said.

"There will always be ups and downs in life, it's how we deal with the downs that makes our ups that much more glorious," they said. "No one should judge anyone on how they deal and process their feelings."

Paytas has known noughties teen icon Aaron Carter for several years. They appeared in an Instagram Live video together in 2019, leading people to believe they were in a relationship. But the two have a rocky history.

On August 8 2019, Paytas tweeted that they had "hooked up" with Carter and he'd unfollowed them, which led to a Twitter war of exposing each other's DMs. But the two appear to have made up, with Paytas tweeting in September 2019 that they are like brother and sister.

Paytas dated Jason Nash, a member of David Dobrik's Vlog Squad, on-and-off for about a year. During their turbulent relationship, Paytas featured heavily in Dobrik's famous vlogs. They also made a music video together.

Paytas and Nash broke up briefly a few times because of arguments — once because Paytas thought Nash called them overweight, and another because Nash kept making jokes about having a threesome with Tana Mongeau. They made response videos about each other's behavior before rekindling their romance on both occasions.

Paytas revealed in May 2019 that they and Nash had broken up for a final time the previous February in another emotional kitchen floor video. They said Nash had stopped speaking to them after a fallout. They also said they had started going to therapy to work through some of their issues with trust and insecurity.

After their relationship ended via a FaceTime call, Paytas said they accidentally mixed alcohol with pills and ended up in the hospital.

After posting the video, Paytas tweeted people who were saying they had found Nash on Tinder saying he had "every right" to be there. They said Nash "deserves nothing but the best" and "I never deserved Jason and I treated him poorly."

​"This is the hardest thing I've ever dealt with online," Paytas told Insider about having a relationship on YouTube. "Having people constantly weigh in on your relationship — it just doesn't work."

They said the constant comments and assumptions eventually end up killing the relationship because of the insecurities they create.

"So many people called my relationship toxic or they would tell me my ex wouldn't be into me, so I started believing that and getting insecure with it," they said. "The breakup was even worse — people dig and dig and dig at you constantly. Whether it's ill intent or not, they will always give you updates on your ex, telling you what he's doing, who he's with, what's being said, what's not being said, what's being insinuated."

Paytas said they struggle to look past the comments, which they still get every day, making it even harder to move on.

"It's tough but it's slowly dying down," they said. "People get over things, it's just those few that want to keep drudging up the past. I am a person who already has a hard time getting over people so having that added peanut gallery has definitely slowed down my normal process of healing heartbreak."

Despite the pain, Paytas said they turned the experience into something positive — publishing poems, recording an album, and going on their "Heartbreak Tour."

"You might as well monetize your heartbreak if the whole internet won't let it go," they said. "At least I can try and use it to my advantage the best I can."

Paytas released several videos since breaking up with Nash, claiming that the relationship ended because Dobrik, who they compared to Ted Bundy, told him to.

Paytas also made several other claims about the Vlog Squad, most notably in a video titled "HOW DAVID DOBRIK + THE VLOG SQUAD RUINED MY LIFE" where they talked about one member, Jeff Wittek, ignoring them in a Starbucks.

They also addressed another claim they made in a now-deleted video, that another Vlog Squad member, Brandon Calvillo, was dating an underage girl. Calvillo later denied the claim.

Paytas has confusingly changed their opinion of Dobrik and the Vlog Squad multiple times. They commented on one of Dobrik's Instagram photos, saying "Ur so hot. Can we f--- tho ?"

These positive comments seem to be a troll, however, as Paytas has had little good to say about Nash, Dobrik, or any of the Vlog Squad for some time.

Paytas tearfully called out Ethan Klein, A YouTuber who runs h3h3Productions, for fat-shaming them in a video, saying he was "harming young girls."

Klein made a video titled "Instagram vs. Reality" where he said influencers had a problem with photoshopping their pictures, and editing beyond recognition was harmful. Paytas responded saying the fact he used their images was damaging, and Klein was a "disgusting piece of s---."

"Hey @h3h3productions — I was suicidal at age 13, 15, 19, 22, and 25 over comments like yours," they wrote. "You went beyond opinions, you are going for extreme bullying that could lead to many girls wanting to take their lives like I did for so many years."

Klein responded to Paytas saying: "Who is this rude person? I don't recognize her from her profile picture. Anyone know?"

Keemstar hosts YouTube's most prominent gossip channel DramaAlert, where Paytas has been a common topic of conversation.

In August 2019, they got into a Twitter fight when Keemstar brought up Paytas' previous struggles with addiction. He quote-tweeted someone who said they had recovered from a crystal meth addiction, saying "Congrats! Hopefully this gives some inspiration to @trishapaytas!"

Paytas responded saying "@KEEMSTAR is a literal devil bringing up my drug addiction and shit. Ur bullying causes actual death. This isn't cute. Get ur shit together."

In May, a video by a YouTuber called Nikocado Avocado went viral, racking up over 2.7 million views, titled "Exposing Trisha Paytas With Receipts." Nikocado Avocado explained that he and Paytas were supposed to film together several years ago, but they had ghosted him. Then Paytas proceeded to criticize him publicly in several livestreams and videos, and he'd had enough of it. So he made all of their DMs public.

Keemstar said Paytas was "canceled" as a result of the video coming out, because it had exposed them as a liar and a manipulator.

Paytas initially denied any claims of wrongdoing, even telling Perez Hilton there was nothing wrong with ghosting someone. But they later backtracked on this, saying they were going through a tough time in May due to breaking up with Nash.

Paytas then filmed videos with Nikocado Avocado on both their channels where they ate take-out food and discussed everything that went down between them.

Paytas, along with several other YouTube stars, took part in a 10-part reality series where the last person to leave their shared house would win $25,000.

During their first few hours in the house, Paytas brought up how much they hated Jason Nash and David Dobrik, and then got into a fight with fellow contestant Dominic DeAngelis about a bed.

DeAngelis asked Paytas for money, and they said they couldn't pay it because they were "broke." Then, just minutes later, they claimed to be worth $25 million.

"I have a f------ Patreon," they said.

Paytas appeared on Logan Paul's "Impaulsive" podcast on September 13, 2019 where they talked about everything from their sex life, to their public spats with the Vlog Squad, to YouTube's biggest creator PewDiePie.

Co-host Mike Majlak said they had to cut some of what Paytas said out because it was too outrageous, according to Dexerto.

"There was a lot of back-and-forth with her ex-team, the Vlog Squad, that, unfortunately, didn't make the cut," he said. "I think we try really hard to keep everything in these episodes, but when there are any kinds of crazy allegations or stuff that we don't see there being evidence to support, we cut that stuff out, and this was one of those episodes."

Paytas also criticized YouTube star PewDiePie, saying they hated him and "his declining views."

"PewDiePie, f--- all the way off," they said. "You're disgusting, your humor sucks, and you should stick to playing video games. F--- PewDiePie, I hate him."

Paytas finished a tour around the US in 2019 where they performed music for her fans, including an ambitious rendition of Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper's "Shallow."

They also posted some challenge videod on YouTube which are reminiscent of their old content, like "I only ate PINK food for 24 HOURS Challenge!" and "Only Eating Recommended Serving Sizes for a Day! (IMPOSSIBLE 24 HOUR FOOD CHALLENGE)."

Paytas told Insider they have learned over the years that positive attention not only "feeds my soul and drives my ambition," but it also helps people.

"Being able to hear the stories of people who can relate to what I'm about or just people who have watched my videos and felt better in their own lives, that's the impact I've always wanted to make, " they said.

"I just never knew until this year. I have a platform and I love creating but helping others cope with the hardships of life, that's the most wonderful thing about being in the public eye."

Paytas posted a video titled "I AM TRANSGENDER (FEMALE TO MALE)" in which they said they were basically a gay man who liked to dress in drag. They said they were attracted to other gay men, loved "glam" and "voluptuousness," and had "penis envy."

The video received a lot of criticism from people in the comments and on social media, who said Paytas shouldn't make light of LGBTQ issues.

But Paytas insisted they were not trolling, and invited people to ask them questions on Instagram.

Paytas doubled down on the claim when they appeared on an episode of "The Doctors," a "Dr Phil" spin-off.

"I've dated gay men, and this is what offended people in my video, when I date gay men, a lot of gay men think I'm not man enough because I don't have a penis," they said.

Paytas announced their "engagement" in a YouTube video, then teased the upcoming event with the videos like "CALLING MY EX TO TELL HIM I'M GETTING MARRIED!" and dozens of posts on social media.

They disclosed very little about the mystery man, except that he was more private than them and they were going to keep the ceremony low-key. Paytas then preceded to document every second and celebrate their nuptials on stage with magician Criss Angel.

In the "OFFICIAL WEDDING VIDEO" posted to YouTube on November 5, Paytas is walked down the aisle by her mother Lenna Paytas, who drops her off at the end of the conference room aisle. Waiting for them was a cardboard cutout of Hollywood superstar Brad Pitt.

"I never thought I would find someone who wouldn't leave me, and who wouldn't talk back to me and judge me for being crazy," Paytas said in their vows. "This is real and this means a lot. From the moment I got you in the mail, I knew this would last forever."

In November 2019, Paytas was involved in a convoluted drama with fellow YouTuber Gabbie Hanna. They uploaded a video and claimed, among many other things, that Hanna had harassed and slandered her.

It stemmed from an incident where Hanna told Paytas' then-boyfriend Jason Nash that Paytas had herpes — something Paytas denies.

Hanna defended her actions on Twitter, saying "it wasn't my business to know if trisha had herpes, i have no reason for her to tell me. it WAS my business to warn a friend that he might be at risk. know what i mean? asking her would just be gossip. telling him to be safe and find out is caring for his health. [sic]"

The pair have had a long-lasting feud ever since, with Hanna claiming they used to be friends, and Paytas insisting they weren't.

Paytas posted a TikTok in December 2019 where they were singing along to a song from the musical "Beetlejuice." But many viewers quickly realized they were nude underneath an unbuttoned dress.

The video was taken down and Paytas uploaded an apology video on their YouTube channel.

"My TikToks aren't sexy, I'm not trying to be sexy on TikTok," they said in the video. "There were two buttons that weren't buttoned down there. It wasn't explicit. To be fair, it wasn't my vagina, it was above it, it was below the bellybutton area. Nevertheless, I deleted it immediately. I was mortified."

In a video titled "MEET MY ALTERS," Paytas claimed to have dissociative identity disorder (DID), which was formerly known as multiple personality disorder.

They talked about having multiple distinct personalities called T, Trixie, Tyson, Tierney, and Tobolter. The video was met with outrage because Paytas spread misinformation about the disorder, diagnosed themself rather than going to a mental health professional, and used outdated and offensive terms.

YouTuber DissociaDID, who identifies as a DID system, outlined everything Paytas got wrong about the disorder in a detailed video. The alter presenting, called Nin, said Paytas was not very well educated on DID, and it was harmful for them to upload a video on it.

"It's hard to sit here and watch someone call me crazy and spread information that's very incorrect and damaging about our community, which undoes a lot of the hard work that me and a lot of other content creators in the DID community have done," Nin said.

Paytas then doubled down and posted another two videos. One was aimed at Anthony Padilla, while another claimed to catch them switching between alters on camera. Many people called them out for making a mockery of vulnerable people who live with DID. Paytas has since deleted these videos.

Paytas settled their feud with H3H3's Ethan Klein in September 2020 when they launched a podcast together called "Frenemies." The project has been hugely successful, with people praising the two influencers for their undeniable chemistry. They also seemed to have turned a corner with their relationship — particularly since Dr Drew helped them work through some of their issues on episode 7.

Common topics of discussion include Paytas' relationship with Klein's brother-in-law Moses Hacmon — Hila Klein's brother. The couple got together in March during the coronavirus pandemic after a failed attempt to fix Paytas up with a contestant on an h3h3 version of "The Bachelorette."

A few months of confusion ensued, with Hacmon and Paytas being secretive about the true extent of the relationship. Paytas also posted a few videos suggesting things were turbulent and they had broken up. They also blamed Klein for problems in the relationship several times.

Hacmon has attended most podcast recordings since it started, and the couple — who are now engaged — post about each other frequently on social media.

Paytas sometimes brought their fights with Hacmon onto the podcast, but they are still together and plan on getting married this summer.

"Frenemies" lasted for nine months.

In November 2020, Paytas decided to insert themself into a drama they weren't involved in, and posted a series of negative TikToks and tweets about TikTok's biggest star Charli D'Amelio.

D'Amelio had just lost a million followers after a chaotic video was posted on her family's YouTube channel, in which some thought her behavior was "rude" and "entitled." She seemed to complain about not reaching 100 million followers on TikTok, while her sister Dixie appeared disgusted at food a private chef had made for them.

Paytas posted about 30 TikToks directed at the D'Amelio sisters and their friend, beauty influencer James Charles. Paytas called Charles "predatory" for being friends with D'Amelio, an "underage girl."

"I didn't want to respond to this because I didn't want to give Trisha the attention that she's clearly craving, however, I have now been accused of being a child groomer and this is not an accusation that I'm going to take lightly," Charles said in a TikTok rebuttal. "To insinuate that the relationship between Charli and I is anything other than just a friendship is absolutely disgusting."

Paytas continued to rant in TikToks, bashing the D'Amelio sisters for their behavior, subsequent apologies, and explanations for the YouTube video.

Dixie then responded with her own TikTok — dancing over a sound of Paytas rapping the N-word in a cover of NWA's "F--- The Police" as a way to remind people they have freely used the slur in the past.

"I couldn't find the sound for this dance so I chose a random one," she wrote in the caption with a smiling face emoji. "Hope that's okay!! Anyways let's get back to the RENEGADE!!"

Among Paytas' many TikToks, they have also tried starting drama with influencers Jeffree Star and Liza Koshy.

Paytas announced they identified as non-binary and would be using they/them pronouns in April 2021.

"I'm non-binary and I have to give credit to TikTok and Gen-Z," they said in a video. "That seems like the perfect label for me."

Paytas said they "have days where I really identify as he/him, I really identify as a man," but that "because my shell a lot of the times doesn't match that of a male, I'm more of a cis female or a girlie girl or a drag queen or whatever, people don't really understand it."

Paytas removed their videos where they came out as transgender as a way to show they were moving forward in their identity journey.

"That video was never meant to be offensive or a troll," they said of the widely criticized claim. "It came across as bad and wrong and I didn't know 'non-binary' back then. I really just thought, 'I'm really a male.'"

Despite being immensely popular with fans, the "Frenemies" podcast crashed and burned in 24 hours in June 2021.

Paytas and Klein got into a heated exchange on the final episode, posted on June 8, and Paytas subsequently announced they were quitting the show. The argument started when Paytas said they felt they had no creative control, which spurred an awkward conversation about ownership and compensation.

The episode ended with Paytas crying and the hosts each accusing the other of "gaslighting."

Over the next few days, Klein and Paytas tweeted and made videos about each other. Paytas notably made 7 videos about the situation.

The show had always hung in precarious balance. On two previous occasions out of the 39 episodes that aired, Paytas stormed off the set following a disagreement. On one occasion, Paytas walked away in tears when Klein called them a "dangerous person to be close to." Several weeks later, Paytas called Klein's wife Hila a "c---" and vowed never to return.

In two episodes posted soon after Paytas' self-described "meltdowns," celebrity physician Dr. Drew appeared as a guest to psychoanalyze why the podcast seems to be such a volatile place. While the pseudo-therapy sessions temporarily reunited the hosts, it seemed like a matter of time before the hosts of "Frenemies" jabbed at each other once again.

As of June 13, it seems "Frenemies" will never return. Klein said he thought Paytas accused him of sexual harassment in their latest video, which he found "extremely upsetting and disturbing."