Summer camp is touted as the great all-American childhood experience. I hated every minute of it.

• Growing up, I was an indoor kid and hated going to summer camp.
• All I wanted to do was read books and hang out with my friends back home.

Before I went to sleepaway camp, my dad said my life was about to change forever. The oldest of five boys, summer camp temporarily granted him only child status and freed him of his bad reputation at Catholic school.

But this experience that many people say creates lifelong positive memories filled me with dread, and I'm not alone in thinking that camp isn't all it's cracked up to be. Trevor Noah has joked that sleeping outdoors for fun makes absolutely no sense, having grown up poor. How does urinating outside build character again?

Camp enrollment has become an expensive, competitive mess that leaves parents feeling inadequate and shamed for working during pick-up and drop-off times. Camps fill up immediately after registration becomes available to the public. Which begs the question: why bother?

I was an indoor kid

Even though it's a tremendous privilege to have the money for camp, it should never have been wasted on me. I am half-Irish, covered in freckles, redheaded, and extremely pale. At camp, I was on antibiotics, which don't mix with the sun, and got so badly burned that my skin radiated heat as if I'd been set on fire. I had to lick my blistering skin until the adults brought me Aloe Vera.

Even though it was summertime, I also experienced a constant state of chill in the woods, the typical setting for sleepaway camp. I disliked freezing my ass off in the pool beneath a bunch of trees, rising early to salute the American flag and the chafing feeling of my sleeping bag.

Aside from physical discomforts, I missed my friends. All I wanted to do each summer was read books, write in my journals, hang out with the girls I'd known since grade school, and sleep in (I was a growing girl, after all). Archery, hiking, and group athletic activities seemed like an extension of P.E., the worst aspect of school for me.

I couldn't relate to the kids crying over the campfire at the end of the week, singing along to Green Day's "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" as a counselor played the guitar. I saved my crying for bedtime, sobbing for my childhood room, my parents, and my routine. A week away from my comfort zone was unbearable in the throes of puberty.

I was raised with films that sold camp as a life-changing experience

Lindsay Lohan gains a twin after going to camp in "The Parent Trap." A bunch of kids and counselors take down a cruel camp director in "Heavyweights." For me, camp never lived up to the movies.

Camp can foster forever friendships and short-lived but equally memorable romances, all important adolescent pastimes. I attended camp pre-social media, and though I kept up with one girl on AOL Instant Messenger afterward, we didn't connect well enough to stay in touch for very long.

Many parents ship their kids off to sleepaway camp to have much-needed time away from their kids

I would have been happier staying with friends or relatives for a week as opposed to summer camp. My friends and I often slept over at each other's houses all the time anyway, so it would have just been a matter of trading off.

My 5-year-old son loves the outdoors, and I suspect he'd be a good candidate for summer camp. Even so, I'm going to tell both my kids that it's perfectly acceptable to be indoor kids too. You don't have to weep around the campfire for people you barely know. There are, in fact, enriching ways to enjoy your summer inside.