Thelife- TikToker Patti Avery Schmidt responded to some of the "common criticisms" faced by older moms.
- She said that not everyone is able to have a baby early, and they may need more time to feel ready.
After raising three sons and suffering multiple miscarriages, influencer Patti Schmidt had a surprise fourth child in 2015 when she was 45. Schmidt, now 52, often makes content with her 7-year-old daughter Avery, but some of her followers have knocked her choice to become a parent so late in life.
Schmidt has more than 1.2 million followers on Tiktok, where she typically shares family and relationship content. In an August 29 video, she responded to some of the "common criticisms" that older moms often face. She told viewers that women having babies in their forties "isn't a new thing," and that childbearing years "span decades."
The video has been viewed over 1.8 million times.
@pattiaveryschmidt Replying to @ty.l3rrr #momsover40 #rainbowbabies #momsoftiktok ♬ original sound - Patti Avery Schmidt
One of the most common criticisms she said she sees online is that it's not "fair" to have children in your forties because their time with you is limited.
"The truth is that nobody knows how much time they have," she told viewers. "But let's say for the sake of the argument that we all get the same number of years and we all expire on the same exact day. Does that mean we owe it to the next generation to give birth to them as young as possible?"
She said that not everyone is "ready or willing" to have a baby in their teens or early twenties and that it may take time for people to meet the right partner, become financially stable, or reach other goals. "It's also really common for people to experience infertility — or in my case, secondary infertility," she said. "I planned on having my last child in my thirties. But when I was in my thirties, I had miscarriages."
She said that another concern that people have is an increased risk of chromosomal abnormalities, which could lead to giving birth to a baby with Down Syndrome. But she noted that the chances of this were still relatively low, even for mothers in their forties.
Waiting until later to have children can increase the risk of some health complications. Women who conceive at 25 have about a 1 in 1,250 risk of having a child with Down Syndrome. For women over 40, this increases to about 1 in 100, according to Stanford Medicine.
She also disputed the idea that older moms have less energy than younger moms. "I've had babies both in my twenties and in my forties, and this hasn't been true for me. And I really believe that while there are genetic factors that are out of our control, our overall fitness and lifestyle choices have more to do with our mental and physical health than our age does."
Many viewers agreed with Schmidt's perspective and shared their own stories of how much they valued their relationship with their moms. Several shared how grateful they were that their moms had waited until they were ready to have children, and said they were grateful for their time with them.
An increasing number of women are seeing the benefits of waiting longer to have children. About 20% of women in the US now have their first child after age 35, according to the National Institutes of Health.