Ibram X. Kendi is the director and founder of Boston University's Center for Antiracist Research.- He's also a dad to a 6-year-old.
When you teach your kids to cross the street, you point out the cars. You make sure they know that vehicles are dangerous and can hurt them, so it's important to be alert. Parents should take the same approach with racism, said Ibram X. Kendi, the director and founder of Boston University's Center for Antiracist Research.
"I did not realize in writing 'How to Raise an Antiracist' that the research would point to a single finding: It's protective to our children to raise them to be antiracist and to talk to them about race," Kendi told Insider.
An antiracist is someone who identifies and opposes racism. They have the goal of changing policies, behaviors, and beliefs that perpetuate racist ideas. Kendi's 2019 book on the topic became a bestseller. Now, he's releasing "How to Raise an Antiracist," a guide for parents.
Parents need to work to raise an antiracist
The biggest pitfall that parents fall into is not realizing that raising an antiracist is something they need to strive for, Kendi said.
"Being antiracist is incredibly important and something they have to actively do in order to protect their children," he said.
Children are vulnerable to simplistic ideas, such as associating dark with bad or light with good. In addition, many parents — including Kendi himself at one time — don't want to expose their children to the ugliness of racism. But the antidote to racism is open, honest conversations starting at a young age, Kendi said.
"We know as adults how hard it was for us to start this process of striving to be antiracist," he said. "What if we would have started these conversations earlier, become more fluent and comfortable?"
If your child notices a group of unhoused brown people and asks why so many brown people are unhoused, lean into that conversation. Talk about the unfair rules or policies that have resulted in inequitable access to wealth and left people of color disproportionately facing homelessness.
Pay attention to your nonverbal cues, too
In addition to thinking about what you say, think about what you do. A parent's nonverbal communications about race have a huge effect on their child's racial perceptions.
"If you're a white parent and all the people you bring to your house are white, you're saying something to your child about who you value," Kendi said.
Nonverbal messages often happen without us consciously choosing them. That's why it's critically important for parents to continue to do their own antiracist work even as they guide their children.
"The more we as individuals are antiracist, the more we're going to speak in antiracist terms when we're not even talking," Kendi said.
Get over the fear and jump into raising an antiracist
Kendi urges parents to teach their kids that they are special — but that it has nothing to do with their skin color. That's what he teaches his own daughter, who has proclaimed that her favorite color is rainbow.
"We're making sure she doesn't attach negative or positive characteristics to any group because of their skin color," Kendi said. "When you're thinking about your children, you want them to appreciate the human rainbow."
When Kendi became a parent in 2016, he had already spent his career talking to adults about being antiracists. Still, he found himself scared to talk to children. But once he started, he realized kids were often more receptive than adults.
Although other parents may not have Kendi's professional expertise, he encourages them to overcome that fear.
"As with anything else with