- Meeting up with new romantic prospects is discouraged under current social distancing guidelines.
- To adjust to the reality of the Covid-19 pandemic and maintain customers, dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble,
Grindr , and Scruff have encouraged long-distance romance. - On Facebook, singles are organizing groups to set up virtual dates.
- Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.
At the start of the Covid-19 pandemic, dating apps and platforms faced a conundrum: after years of growth, they had to navigate a world where casual hookups could be more detrimental to public
During a time where Americans are being discouraged to meet up in person, dating apps, social media users, and matchmakers are readjusting to the reality of quarantine by embracing video chat and
Facebook Groups For Singles Looking To Date Globally Have Sprung Up
On Facebook, two Jewish dating oriented groups, CoronaCrush and MeetJew University Dating, have sprung up since the beginning of global quarantining. Both groups have garnered a significant amount of interest: CoronaCrush has 11,793 members and MeetJew University Dating has 38,884 members, respectively.
On CoronaCrush, users write detailed, often humorous, posts vouching for the romantic viability of a friend. In the post's comments, users tag potential matches and then it's up to both parties to message one another and schedule a video date.
On the other hand, MeetJew University, which is exclusively for Jewish singles between the ages of 18 and 26, is a bit more sophisticated. The group was co-started by Daniel Ebrahmi and Aaron Raimi. To find a potential prospect, group members fill out a survey and then get matched through an algorithm. "We just want Jews to have a safe place to meet one another and possibly help create more Jewish families," Ebrahami told Insider. He confirmed that there has been long distance dating in the group — a friend based in California was now dating someone quarantined in New York.
"People can get to know each other before being in physical contact which promotes conversations so people can understand if someone is right for them," Ebrahami said.
Zoom dates could also alleviate anxiety. One CoronaCrush member, who chose to remain anonymous, said that with video chatting, unlike in person dating, there's an easy escape. "When you take a girl out on a date, oftentimes in the first few minutes you can feel that the chemistry is off and you're stuck for the next few hours on a date that you don't want to be on," he said.
Florentino*, a CoronaCrush member based in Tel Aviv, Israel, has been frequently video-chatting with Fermina* — a woman from Haifa he met in the group. After they were the only two people to show up to an online book club meeting, they hit it off and started talking privately. Florentino told Insider that he and Fermina have a "a great intellectual connection" and that they "seem to find each other attractive so it's obviously not just platonic."
Bracha Rapaport, one of the six founders of CoronaCrush, said that her group is offering some respite during trying times. "It's very light-hearted, [and] gives people a reminder that this thing shall pass and there will be a life after," she wrote in an email. Rapaport noted that some people in the group have expressed interest in "relocating or finding love overseas." She thinks that though the future is uncertain, the group can still be a platform for singles after quarantine is lifted.
To keep their users hooked while abiding by social distancing guidelines, a myriad of dating apps have encouraged long distance connections.
While users have been left to their own devices on Facebook, dating apps have stepped in to try to help their users create new bonds in unusual circumstances.
Tinder took a proactive stance from the start of the crisis in the United States. On March 2nd, the company encouraged its users to start abiding by social distancing guidelines. Later that month, on March 27th, the company made Tinder Passport free for all its users. The feature lets people match and chat with users across the globe. Before, it was only available for people who pay through Tinder Plus and Tinder Gold.
"Tinder is hoping that the app itself and features like Passport can help fill the void of human interaction which is very much in need right now. They believe they can do something to stop the spread of the second epidemic: a loneliness epidemic," a representative told Insider.
Tinder declined to offer any data about the popularity of the feature but said that it will no longer be free after May 4th.
Meanwhile, Bumble is allowing its users to match and chat with anyone inside the US. According to a representative, there was an "84% increase in voice calls and video chats during the week ending March 27" compared to two weeks earlier. Bumble also says it's seeing 25% of chats "turning into something more meaningful," with more messages exchanged.
Not all apps are following suit. Hinge, for instance, has embraced video chatting but hasn't allowed users to go outside of their geographic radius. "Everything we do is focused on authentic compatibility between users. As a part of this, users put their location pin where they live, and it stays there regardless of the phone's exact location," a Hinge representative stated.
LGBTQ Dating Apps Are Trying To Create Communal Platforms.
LGBTQ dating apps like Grindr and Scruff have long had a reputation for promoting hookup
A Grindr spokesperson gave a statement to Insider about how the app is providing its users with Covid-19-related information and "the ability to connect with others in the LGBTQ community – even if it's only online as we see many people doing through our chat or video functionality. This life-affirming connection is especially important during this time of physical and social isolation."
The app has also promoted Circles, a group chat feature that lets up to 20 users in the same country connect around a specific topic. On Reddit and Twitter, some users have complained about Circles having bugs and malfunctions. One Grindr user, who chose to stay anonymous, told Insider that he had seen a "memes" themed Circle devolve into people exchanging nudes. "It definitely didn't work out as planned. People weren't sticking to the topics," he stated.
Scruff, an LGBTQ dating app, has transitioned to turning their service into a communal platform and has made some features like sharing private albums globally available for everyone, not just paying customers.
Todd Sowers, the COO of Perry Street Software, the developer of Scruff, told Insider that the app's users have been chatting more, saying, "Our users are really leaning into the community aspect of Scruff right now. Not the hookup aspect of it as much because obviously that's not safe and we have encouraged our customers to stay online."
In addition, Scruff has expanded its geographic grid to show 1,000 people and is planning on continuing their livestream quiz show, which lets users chat with other people tuning in, remotely.
"I think this experience has definitely normalized in the public eye the notion of connecting socially over apps. If there was any remaining stigma to using apps to find social [or] emotional connection, I think that stigma has now fallen during Covid-19 because we're all distanced now and apps and our internet is the social lifeline," Eric Silverberg, the Founder and CEO of Scruff, stated.
Though Scruff declined to share data about long distance chatting due to privacy concerns, they told Insider that there has been no decline in app usage since the start of the Covid-19 pandemic.
Matchmakers are mixed on long-distance dating in quarantine.
Even if Facebook groups and dating apps are popular, when it comes to meeting their soulmate, some people prefer to have a more tailored, boutique experience. Insider reached out to a few professional matchmakers for insight on how their industry has adjusted to quarantine and embraced online long distance dating.
Carmelia Ray, a relationship expert and matchmaker, has transitioned to helping her clients succeed at virtual dating and has organized online speed-dating, happy hours, and meetups for singles located around the globe. According to Ray, 40% of her clients are now "more open" to finding a match outside of their area.
"Like any relationship, it's really important that you're clear on your boundaries and you're clear on your expectations. Some people are long distance dating, knowing that this is temporary or they're looking at it as not necessarily a serious relationship. But for those who are thinking of serious relationships, they should have all the regular communication and conversation that they would with a local partner," she offered as advice.
Ray said that for virtual dates, people should try to bring the care and respect they would to an actual in-person meetup by dressing nicely, setting up an ambiance, and not succumbing to distractions while chatting with their prospect.
Silicon Valley matchmaker Amy Andersen told Insider that during quarantine, more clients are digitally dating between the Bay Area and Los Angeles. "I keep telling my clients to keep exploring the virtual connections and when restrictions are lifted, to be able to imagine how exciting it will be to finally see their love interest in the flesh, in person," Andersen said.
Joshua Pompey, a dating expert, was a bit cautious about long distance dating and urged people to use "common sense, avoid any suspicious behavior," and avoid anyone who is "asking for money, or private and personal information that goes above and beyond just a phone number or basic info."
Singles Weighed In On The Elusive Benefits of Long Distance Dating
Some singles don't need dating apps, Facebook groups, or the guidance of experts to foster a connection with a stranger online. During quarantine, Michael*, a Los Angeles based single, has stricken up a cyber romance with Onyx*, a Twitter follower who resides in New York City. They have bonded through watching anime shows together using Netflix's House Party Chrome extension and have gone on frequent FaceTime dates. Though there's a notable geographic difference, they have tentative plans to meet in the future.
"Everything is really uncertain right now, but they've never been to Los Angeles before and really want to come visit when all of this is over. I'm equally as eager to come to see them when it's safe," Michael wrote in an email to Insider.
But what if the appeal of online long distance dating is that there's no serious pressure to ever actually meet?
Based in Boston, John started chatting with Tommy* on Tinder when he was visiting from Philadelphia before quarantine. After talking for a month, they had a FaceTime date and then rapidly fell into a whirlwind cyber romance.
"We've already discussed our worst qualities, our most embarrassing and painful memories and our worst breakups. We also FaceTime while cooking dinner," John said. However, he remarked that "at least 50% of the appeal and lure" was the notion that they may never physically be together. Despite talking about seeing one another after lockdown was lifted, John was nervous — "I can't decide how I feel. I've put on about 10 pounds during quarantine which I don't know how to break to him."
John's relationship also serves as a cautionary tale: he recently broke things off with his quarantine beau because he asked to shelter in place together, making him uncomfortable about how quickly things were escalating.
During this unprecedented crisis, there have been some bold predictions regarding what the world after quarantine will look like. In regards to dating, Ray believes that it will become a more virtually integrated experience — text-flirting skills will be an attractive commodity and video chatting might turn into a "precursor or the requirement before somebody actually meets in person." Bumble said that after quarantine, they will continue to encourage people to use their voice and video chat features for the sake of "safety and compatibility."
As Andersen noted, the promise of eventually meeting up in person is an alluring incentive to keep on chatting. But geographic distance can often breed uncertainty. At the very least, it's good material for TikTok videos.
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*Interviewee chose to use pseudonyms for the article.
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