- My twins were assessed to see if they were kindergarten-ready at age 5.
- We got mixed feedback so we decided to keep them in preschool for another year.
I waved goodbye to my daughter from the door of her classroom, then raced to catch a glimpse of my son's red hair before his door shut — breathless from the ups and downs of making it on time to our first day of kindergarten.
Mixed emotions rolled like a marble between my head and heart as I vividly remembered holding them for the first time in the NICU as preemies with hoses and IVs taped carefully to their tiny bodies. We had made it through the early years, marked by the seemingly impossible job of doing the best for each of them individually and for both at the same time.
They started kindergarten a year late
After our twins' assessment for kindergarten at age 5, we received mixed feedback but were told they could enter kindergarten. "Kindergarten readiness" evaluations are administered by many public and private schools to assess the skills and maturity of a child entering kindergarten. Some of these skills include pencil grip, letter recognition, and the ability to follow directions.
My instincts told me our children needed an extra year of half-day preschool rather than a full day of kindergarten, and my husband agreed. We also didn't want to put our twins in a situation where, at the end of the year, one needed to repeat kindergarten, and the other moved to first grade.
Valerie Andrews, a licensed clinical neuropsychologist in Los Gatos, California, recommends keeping twins together in the same grade, so if one isn't ready, it makes sense to wait. "Studies show that holding a child back after the kindergarten year has proven detrimental effects," Andrews said.
But she warns against holding children back in general from starting kindergarten. "If there is a learning disability or underlying issues, holding a child back doesn't help," she said.
I also called friends who were kindergarten teachers, moms of twins who were older than mine, and an expert in child psychology to get their input. Their collective advice was not to rush and to consider their 12-year school journey ahead instead of just kindergarten.
It was the right decision for them
It's been one year since our twins started kindergarten "late," and I can honestly say we were right on time.
Studies show kids generally learn to read between the ages of 6 and 7. Their school expected them to learn to read in kindergarten, and my twins learned phonics and blended letters alongside their classmates. They were not "bored" or ahead of their peers.
They were both able to relate to their peers in healthy ways in the classroom and on the playground. Both of their teachers gave me positive feedback that they were thriving with friends.
They had an extra year to develop more control over their bodies and focus better. They would have struggled more to follow directions and receive academic instruction over a full school day at the age of 5. Six was perfect for them.
Both children had a positive first year of their 12-year school career, which, as any teacher knows, cannot be underestimated. They both grew more sure of themselves in school subjects and socially. They bonded with kind adults who believed in them and felt excited to go to school every day.
With kindergarten behind us, they're now entering first grade together and are a year older than most of their classmates. They're happy, and for that, this twin mom can smile and take a deep breath.