My partner and I moved to Spain, had 2 kids, and then separated. Now, I'm not allowed to move my kids home.

• When Nicola Prentis got pregnant, she was loving life in Spain while her partner lived in London.
• They decided to raise their family in Spain, but life there became less fun with a baby.

I got pregnant three months into a relationship with the man I thought was "the one." The fact that we lived in two different countries at the time felt like an adventure. He was in London, and I was in Madrid. I'd lived in seven countries since I was 24 but had finally settled in Spain with no plans to leave — a major first for me.

For the first time, I'd found my tribe in a community of writers. I was making a home, not just putting another pin on the map. I found that Spain was where I lived life to the fullest. I went to writing clubs and open mics, took part in the 48-hour film project, and attended friends' plays.

I loved the lifestyle and, yes, the sunny weather. Plans were always spontaneous — whether for a cheap three-course menú del día, a famously long Spanish lunch with unlimited wine, a night out, or a weekend trip to the countryside.

It was so different from my hometown in England, where I'd have to book friends weeks ahead when I visited, with plans often dampened by rain. The day in Spain is longer too. With shops and cafés open until 9 p.m., 8 p.m. is considered too early for a dinner reservation. A day's work still leaves plenty of time for a social life. I was hardly ever home, and I never owned a TV.

My new partner was happy to move to Spain

Luckily for me, or so I thought, one of the many reasons that made my new boyfriend "the one" was that he loved to travel, and his job often took him to New York, Europe, and Asia. Best of all, his lifelong dream was to return to Spain after he'd spent his early 20s teaching English in Barcelona.

He was fluent in Spanish, could cook a great paella, and loved Spanish wine. There was no real question where we'd live and I quickly found a bigger apartment for us in the trendy La Latina barrio.

Although I went back to the UK with him for the last part of my pregnancy and the birth, we were both keen to start family life in Spain. Spanish people love children, especially babies, and it was easy and fun to take the baby along for lunch or tapas on a sunny terraza, or even late into the evening.

Spanish life got harder to enjoy with a baby

But, as the baby became an active toddler and my partner continued working abroad, I was alone for a lot of the time. It grew harder to meet friends or join in any of the writing activities. The long Spanish day now dragged.

When we decided to move to Girona, a seven-hour drive away on the other side of Spain — unthinkable to me just a few years earlier — I felt like I'd already said goodbye to my old life anyway. I didn't think it mattered that I had no friends there and that my partner was away up to 80% of the time.

A year after the move, we had our second baby. Ten days after the delivery, my partner returned to working abroad.

Turned out that not having friends did matter.

When we split up, moving to the UK near my sister and nieces looked like the answer to navigating fully single motherhood.

I was stuck in Spain if I wanted to be with my children

That's when I found out about The Hague Convention, an international agreement between the majority of countries. Under the Convention, custody of children must be decided in the country where the children are habitually resident. The custody norms of that country, not your home country, govern the type of custody agreement that's put in place.

Crucially, neither parent may move the children back home (or elsewhere abroad) without the other parent's permission. I discovered that a move back home would be legally classed as child abduction, and the UK courts would return me to Girona.

My Spain-loving ex was never going to move back to the UK, and so neither could I — at least, not if I wanted to be with my children.

The upsides of raising children in Spain

There have been advantages to raising my kids in Spain. State-paid childcare effectively starts at three years old with infant school. Children enjoy a three-course healthy lunch for under 5 euros a day, or $5.40. On the weekends, we've got lush nature within a five-minute walk of our city apartment and multiple beaches a 45-minute drive away.

Spain has a community attitude to raising children and kids are welcome in almost every bar and restaurant, with strangers on the bus becoming part of the extended family, watching your children grow up. My now 6- and 9-year-old are trilingual — English, Spanish, and Catalan — and, even post-Brexit, will be eligible for EU passports.

Despite all that, I often wish I was in the UK with family support nearby; my ex has the boys only on alternate weekends and one night a week. Girona is lovely, but it lacks Madrid's vibrant, cosmopolitan community. As my ex isn't leaving, the shared custody agreement ties me here, too.

Am I counting the years until I can leave? Yes, but that doesn't mean I won't enjoy them while I'm here.

Got a personal essay about living abroad or parenting that you want to share? Get in touch with the editor: akarplus@businessinsider.com.