My kids see the best side of my relationship with my ex-husband. Now they are trying to 'Parent Trap' us.

• My ex-husband and I have been divorced 12 years.
• We have three kids and coparent very well, even traveling together when needed.

"I wanna hold your haaaaaaand. I wanna hold your hand."

The Beatles song blared from the car speakers. I wondered why my 16-year-old daughter was playing such an oldie but goodie. "The song must be making a comeback on TikTok," I thought.

"All of me, loves all of you, love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections."

"Oh, yeah, I love this song, too." I thought. "John Legend is my jam."

I turned it up and started belting out the lyrics. My kids were giggling in the back seat, but they always do that when I sing. It only makes me sing louder.

"You're the one that I want, oh, oh, oh, Honey, the one that I want."

Just as I was about to give my small audience a taste of my best Sandra Dee, I heard the giggling again; this time it was louder and almost uncontrollable. They kept laughing, and I knew it had to be about more than just my singing. "These kids are trying to 'Parent Trap' us — again," I thought. I finally got it.

My ex and I are great coparents

My ex-husband was next to me, driving the car as our divorced family headed on an eight-hour trip to Canada. We were going to watch our oldest daughter play in a hockey tournament. Given the distance and our stellar coparenting friendship, we decided to save on gas and take the trip together.

This isn't out of the ordinary for us, either. We have been divorced for 12 years, and we have been coparenting our three children pretty darn well ever since. We celebrate the children's birthdays together, sit together at soccer games, and work together to get three kids where they need to be on any given day.

It wasn't always like this. During the first few years post-divorce, we kept our distance from one another. The wounds were fresh, there was resentment on both sides, and we didn't want to scream in front of the kids. But somewhere along the way, we shifted: We let go of the resentments, transformed the anger, and formed a friendship. This allowed us to spend time together in a mostly stress-free way.

The kids see the best side of our relationship

The kids now see our best side, the side of our relationship that wouldn't exist if we were still married, the side that's good only because we're divorced. We had worked hard to get along. The side exists because we share a very special bond — well, three very special bonds, actually.

What my kids don't see is the screaming matches about money, household chores, holiday plans, and vacations. They don't see we had long lacked respect and love for one another. They don't see the name-calling, the doors slamming, or the many, many tears. And thank God for that.

The kids see our best, and they want more. That's when they start scheming to get their divorced parents together, just like in the movie. They've done it before, and they were definitely up to their old tricks on our recent trip. For some reason, this time, I got angry: "I know what you're doing, and it needs to stop right now," I snapped. They were taken aback.

I told them we're never getting back together

When we arrived at our destination and headed to our separate hotel rooms, the kids came with me. They asked me why the songs made me so mad. I said: "I want to make sure you know that Dad and I are never getting back together. I don't want our friendship to mislead you."

They assured me that they were well aware and laughed a little; I even joined in this time. But the curiosity is still with me: Why did I feel so strongly about their parent-trap attempt? Maybe it's more about me than them. Maybe I'm worried that when I get a boyfriend, things will change — for me, for my ex, and for my kids. Maybe I still feel guilty about the divorce. And maybe we do spend too much time together.

My questions could go on. But maybe, just maybe, it's not that complicated. Maybe I need to celebrate the success of two adults putting their kids first. Maybe sometimes it takes a divorce to complete a family. So, no, my ex is no longer the one that I want, and therefore our story won't end like the Disney movie; but maybe one day, the kids will see that our ending is even better.