- At first, our open-door policy was about safety. Having little kids meant no room for privacy.
- We've had interesting conversations with our kids, from how to manage a period to how to shave.
Being naked in front of my kids started as a safety issue. At one point, we had three children under the age of 4. There was zero privacy: We never closed our doors because we had to supervise our children at all times. When we would occasionally take a quick bathroom break to shower or use the toilet, we needed to be able to hear our kids — just in case.
As the years went by and our children grew older, we continued with keeping doors open. This wasn't a conscious decision. We simply didn't bother overthinking that our kids were seeing us get dressed or pee. In fact, it led to important discussions about bodies and boundaries.
Now that my children are older, from 5 to their teens, I've realized the benefits of not closing doors.
Our kids aren't shocked by natural bodies and bodily functions, like periods. By knowing what was going on, within the comfort of our own home, they felt free to ask us questions, which varied from what products to use to manage a period to how babies are made.
They are allowed to have their own preferred boundaries
I don't want my children to see their bodies as something to hide or be ashamed of. We've allowed them to create their own boundaries. If they want to close the door to dress or shower, fine. But if they don't, that's OK, too.
They are welcome to come to our room, but if the door is closed, we ask that the child knock and wait to be invited in. Usually we close the door only to wrap holiday gifts — a surprise they definitely don't want to ruin.
I want my kids to learn about bodily autonomy within our home so they aren't shocked or conflicted as they grow up and experience situations outside of it.
One example is hair touching. My children are Black, and many white adults try to touch their hair — uninvited. We've talked about this topic many times in our home, role-played, and emphasized that it's not OK for an adult to touch them without permission. We often remind our kids that "no means no," that Black hair is sacred, and that no one can just reach out and stroke it.
Our openness has also led to conversations about physical affection versus inappropriate touch, as well as secrets and surprises. Surprises, like when you buy someone a birthday gift and have it wrapped and ready to give, are one thing. An adult who asks a child to keep a secret is a red flag — and our kids should always tell us.
We've had interesting conversations
Our openness has led to important discussions about everything from puberty to healthy relationships, bodily autonomy, consent, and body positivity. It's also helped us talk about different body types, making healthy food choices, exercising, and mindfulness. It's even helped with practical day-to-day routines, like face washing, shaving, and other hygiene.
My children have seen many of these happening naturally, as they pop into our bathroom to chat about whatever is on their minds.
I want to be my child's first educator — making sure they get the right information — so they can be empowered as they move from childhood to adulthood.