- I have identical twin boys who had been inseparable since birth.
- They pursued the same sports, hobbies, and interests for most of their lives.
I have identical twin sons, Charlie and Thomas, and few people can tell them apart. They have always lived in each other's shadow, doing most things together.
They were born prematurely and, between them, weighed the same as an average-size single baby. Unfortunately, their small size forced them to spend the first week of their lives in a special-care nursery at the hospital. Their close bond was evident; when one was taken for tests, the other would cry until they were reunited. Because of their size, they slept in the same cot for the first six months.
They remained inseparable — until now. As they get closer to their college years, they're finally starting to take different paths.
Growing up, my sons were inseparable
When they first went to school, the teachers asked us whether we wanted them to be in the same class.
People gave us a lot of conflicting advice. Some told us it would be wrong and even cruel to separate them into different classes, while others said isolating them from each other was important. While they were only 5 years old, we discussed this decision with them. In the end, we asked they be placed in separate classes.
But they were inseparable outside the classroom. They had the same interests, played on the same teams, had the same friends, and were invited to the same parties. Their friends couldn't tell the difference between them, so the boys learned to respond to either name —Charlie or Thomas.
As they grew older and moved on to high school, they stuck together even more. When it came time to choose class electives, they chose the same ones. They both decided to study German, picked the same arts subjects, and applied for an advanced math and English program. Both played Australian rules football and were nominated as cocaptains. They even started learning the same instrument.
I thought this would continue throughout their education — through college and even into their careers. After all, they're identical.
Things started to change last year as they entered 10th grade
Because they had more freedom to choose subjects, their paths started to diverge. Charlie began taking more humanities subjects, while Thomas' interests were science and math.
The difference was further highlighted when they participated in a work-experience program. Charlie worked in a legal practice, while Thomas opted for a health-and-science placement. As a parent, I found it enlightening to see them pursue different areas.
Last month, the shift became even more stark. They had to select the subjects for their final school year. We live in Australia, and the college system differs from that in the US. College entry is based on grades recorded in your final school year, and many college programs have prerequisite study subjects for admission. This makes the correct subject selection in the last year of school critical.
As a family, we discussed this in depth — much like we did when they were 5. I was still unsure whether the biological draw of one identical twin would make the other reconsider his choices, with them perhaps selecting the same subjects again.
They ultimately decided to part ways academically. Thomas has selected advanced math, physics, and computing, while Charlie is doing business, philosophy, and history. This has helped shape their college options and their friendship groups as they mix with different classmates at school.
Thomas is now applying for a computing program, while Charlie hopes to be accepted into a law course. They will be applying to different colleges, further forming their own identities.
Identical twins are often assumed to do everything the same, and it can be hard to be seen and recognized as individuals
After years of doing everything side by side, they're diverging, and my family is learning to adapt to this new normal.
I'm excited for what lies ahead — both in college and beyond. I'm nervous yet excited to see my sons grow into who they want to be and become who they are, individually.
I am also excited about the prospect of a lawyer and an IT computer whiz in the family.