My husband does all the school volunteering. Other moms and teachers are shocked.

• My husband and I have four children, ranging from Kindergarten to teenagers.
• He does all the school events, and the kids love that.

When I was growing up, my mom was my class's "room mom." It was called Room Mom in the eighties because there was no such thing as the gender-neutral Room Parent. Dads didn't volunteer to help kids build gingerbread houses, take pictures of the kids in their Halloween costumes, or have egg-and-spoon races on the playground blacktop.

I have kids in school now, and even though dads are welcomed and encouraged to volunteer at school events, very few do. My husband is usually the only dad present at the book fair, the spring party, and the field trip.

My husband does all the school events

We have four children, ranging from a teen to a kindergartner. My husband has been the sole male presence in any school event space for many years. Our children absolutely love having dad show up, showing him off to all their friends, and dragging him around by his hand.

Oddly, I feel the need to justify why I'm not the one volunteering. I work from home, part-time, making my own hours. My husband is the main income provider in our home, working full time in the financial industry. I'm self-employed, while my husband has paid volunteer hours. If I don't work, that's money lost. If my husband volunteers, he still gets paid.

I also have a chronic, autoimmune disease. It's difficult for me to commit to anything, knowing that the likelihood I will have to cancel at the last minute is high. I don't want to put anyone in a bind or let my children down when I don't show up.

Teachers and moms are shocked to see my husband

Being able to volunteer at school functions is a luxury, really. When that volunteer is a dad, like in our case, teachers and fellow moms are floored. I can't begin to count the number of moms who have gushed to me that my husband showed up to help, like the time the all-school celebration involved several inflatables. A child in my son's grade sprained her ankle while bouncing at the top of an inflatable slide, and the volunteers summoned my husband to climb up and get the injured girl.

On one hand, I love that my kids get to make memories with their dad in the school setting. Having your dad show up with a ballcap on, smiling, and participating brings my kids so much joy. But on the other hand, it's sad that more dads can't or don't show up.

My husband and I have worked hard to teach our kids that there aren't such things as "boy" and "girl" jobs. We model this by making sure we all participate in household chores. Outdoor chores are for everyone, gathering the trash is for everyone, and let's not forget dishes and laundry.

I've had kids in school for over a decade, and I'm grateful that maybe, just maybe, moms aren't always the default. However, we need to see more dads in educational spaces, and we certainly need more jobs to support all parents who want to, on occasion, show up on a school day for their kids.