My husband and I switched who stays at home with the kids. It's been the best 2 years for both of us.

• Until 2021, my husband was the breadwinner, and I stayed home with the kids and freelanced.
• We swapped roles — and initially, other people didn't think we could do it.

In 2021, my husband quit his hectic retail-management job to stay home with our three kids. He'd spent almost a decade in the industry, and during the pandemic he was working 60- to 70-hour weeks balancing constant changes with the day-to-day demands of operating a large store. He was exhausted.

Meanwhile, I was bearing and caring for our children and freelancing on the side. I loved staying home with the kids, but the daily grind had worn down my creative spark. The diary I'd bought on my 30th birthday hoping to rekindle my lost love of journaling lay mostly blank years later.

So we chose to make a change that would eventually make everyone happier: He'd stay home with the kids, and I'd be the breadwinner.

We swapped who stayed home with the kids

The swap was rocky at first. I tried to keep up with daily tasks like doing laundry, getting groceries, managing appointments, and updating the kids' wardrobes as they rapidly outgrew clothes. The household toilet-paper status was always in the back of my mind, alongside my list of invoices to send and prospective clients to pitch.

When I started delegating tasks to my husband to lighten the load, the constant requests wore on him. Watching the kids is a ton of work, and I was forever popping in to ask him to switch the laundry or add to the grocery list.

One day we had a heart-to-heart talk about the disconnect. We realized a bigger switch had to take place than just who watched the kids. I had to pass on the mantle of "household manager," letting go of my task list and allowing him to get things done his own way.

Life improved after that — we were working as a team again.

People didn't react as we expected them to

Friends and family reacted differently to our switch than I expected. Overall, they were relieved my husband had ended his nightmarish job but hesitant about me taking the breadwinner role.

Instead of "congratulations," I heard, "That was so brave of your husband to leave his career," "How do you make it all work financially?" and "Do you need money?" I'd never told these people how much I made as a freelance writer for medical-technology companies. No one questioned my husband's ability to provide when he was the one working full time.

Unfortunately, my husband also experienced sexism in his new role. I naively forwarded him an email for a "parents meetup" hosted by our church. I knew not many dads attended, but I thought my husband would enjoy chatting with other adults while the kids played. I even emailed the coordinator asking if he could come, and she replied, "Of course!"

But when he showed up, the moms ignored him. He tried to join a conversation, and one of the moms told him it was a "private event" and turned away. A minute later, a friend arrived with her kids and vouched for him. It turned out OK, but he never attended a parents meetup again.

We both love our new roles

Despite the setbacks, our switch has been for the best. My diary still isn't full, but my collection of published projects is blossoming. I've discovered a grown-up version of my journaling self.

My husband has embraced his role as household manager. Our home has never been greener — he arranged for solar panels and has been swapping in eco-friendly alternatives wherever possible. Instead of doing crafts with the kids he takes them bird-watching, and he's made friends with a stay-at-home dad who started frequenting storytime at our local library.

Sitting in our sunset-bathed living room the other evening after tucking the kids into bed, my husband said the past two years had been "the best years of my life." I couldn't agree more.