- After failing to get pregnant for years, Jessica and Eric Smith decided to leave Kansas and move to Spain.
- A few months before the move, the couple found out they were expecting.
Our dream of moving to Spain was almost a reality. A "For Sale" sign was firmly placed in our front yard, our visa applications had been approved, and we'd announced to just about everyone that we were moving to La Rioja, Spain, about 200 miles north of Madrid. The only thing left on our to-do list was to buy our one-way tickets.
But as fate would have it, when you decide to chase your dreams, inevitably, life happens. I woke up one morning, a few months before we were scheduled to move, and something felt different. I rummaged for one of the tests I'd kept hidden under the bathroom sink. Then, after the longest two minutes of my life, a faint plus sign slowly appeared. Or was it a minus sign? It wasn't clear, so I took one more test to make sure. And just like that, we were pregnant.
Not many people from the Midwest move to Spain. So when we decided to move abroad, we knew there would be many challenges to overcome. We had to sell everything including our house and our cars. Not to mention the paperwork alone was a nightmare. I mean, who actually knows how to request an FBI background check?
And of course, saying goodbye to family and friends was also difficult. But never in a million years, did I expect one of our challenges would be giving birth and raising a kid in Spain.
My husband and I decided that the American dream was not for us.
Growing up in Kansas, the American dream was simple: Graduate from college, find a good job, get married, buy a house, and start a family. We had checked off every box except one: starting a family. Yet somehow, we still felt unfulfilled.
Our days were repetitive. Go to work, come home, eat dinner while watching Netflix, and do it all over again. We knew something was missing. We thought if we checked off that final box and started a family, maybe our lives would be complete. Which was odd considering all of our friends with kids seemed to be even more stressed out.
But after three years of unsuccessfully trying to have a baby, we were tired. Tired of the monthly disappointment. Tired of living for the weekend and tired of just going through the motions. We knew that we needed to make a drastic change. So we decided to put starting a family on hold and pursue our other big dream. Moving to Spain.
That's why it was such a shock to find out that I was pregnant only months before our big move abroad. Nevertheless, on September 7, 2021, I boarded a one-way flight 7 months pregnant with nothing but four suitcases, two dogs, and my husband. Chasing your dreams is never easy, but neither is living with regrets.
Raising a kid in Spain isn't all sunshine and sangrias.
I went through 28 hours of labor in a foreign country where I didn't speak the language. The entire first year of our son's life we had no idea what we were doing, and our family was 3,000 miles away. I couldn't just pick up the phone and have Grandma come over to babysit or teach me how to change a diaper.
All of our doctors' appointments, checkups, and trips to the emergency room were 100% in Spanish. We had to do it all on our own. Not to mention, trying to learn a new language, make friends, and start a business.
But guess what? By getting way out of my comfort zone, I have developed more personally and professionally than I ever thought possible.
The positives have outweighed any negatives
My mornings are spent walking my son down the narrow cobblestone streets to his day care, listening to the sound of church bells ringing out in the distance. Each time someone walks past us on the street, my son smiles, waves, and says "hola!" He is only two years old and already understands and speaks Spanish.
There's also the financial aspects. We only pay 50 euros a week, or $54, for day care. I can take my son to the doctor or to the emergency room without the fear of receiving a surprise medical bill in the mail. If our son goes to a public university in Spain, he won't have to worry about a lifetime of student loan debt.
But the best part about raising a family in Spain is the safety and the active social life. In the US, I felt isolated and had no real sense of community. Here in Spain, that's impossible. We walk everywhere and are surrounded by people the second we walk out our front door. I never feel alone.
I can go to the park with my son during the summer at 10 p.m. without being worried about our safety. It's normal for us to hang out with friends and other parents during the week. I'm actually more social now than I was before having a kid. That's large in part because our community here in Logroño, Spain loves kids. We always see kids playing in the streets, the parks, and just outside basically every pincho bar.
I will always be proud to be an American. Thankful for the country that gave me the freedom and opportunity to chase my dreams. The country that made me who I am today. But just because you're born somewhere, doesn't necessarily mean that's where you belong.
The day I moved to Spain, my mom cried because I was leaving. The first day she visited me in Spain, my mom cried because she had never seen me happier. Spain, you complete me.
Got a personal essay about living abroad or parenting that you want to share? Get in touch with the editor: akarplus@businessinsider.com.