Thelife- My daughter's crying fit on an overnight flight led a woman to sigh and give me a dirty look.
- Her reaction made me feel like I was a bad mom even though the ordeal lasted only five minutes.
We were three hours into a 12-hour international flight, and it was the middle of the night. Despite being surrounded by quite a few rambunctious toddlers and crying babies, I managed to get our daughter to fall asleep by spreading her out on 1 ½ seats. My husband and I were basically patting ourselves on the back for yet another successful flight with our overactive toddler — until the dreaded cry began.
We hit some sudden turbulence, which woke my daughter up, and she immediately released a piercing scream.
A dirty look from a nearby passenger made me feel shame
My initial response was to comfort her and help her fall back asleep, so I rubbed her back and quietly sang to her. Then I heard a loud sigh coming from the woman in the row ahead of me who, when I looked up, was shooting me dirty looks.
My instinct was to panic and feel ashamed. The way she was looking at me implied she thought I was a bad mother and there was something wrong with me for not being able to quiet my toddler immediately. I felt extremely guilty for being the source of someone else's discomfort.
Then I realized the problem was her, not us.
Just like adults, babies can lose their cool
My daughter has been traveling with us since she was 2 months old and has been all over the world. She is generally a great flyer and loves meeting new people and seeing new things. But, as with most toddlers, she likes her routine bedtime and getting 12 hours of sleep a night in her comfortable crib with all her stuffed animals.
Even with her own seat, sleeping on a plane wasn't comfortable, and the air pressure probably bothered her little ears. She was jolted awake, she was disoriented, and she expressed that discomfort through crying because she didn't have a strong enough grasp on language to express it any other way.
She didn't cry to bother the woman in front of me — she cried to let me know she was uncomfortable and wanted to be sleeping. No one wants a crying baby in a cramped space, and I understood the woman's frustration. But just as adults can lose it on planes, babies can, too.
The woman's reaction added negativity to an already uncomfortable situation
While it felt like an eternity to get her to fall back asleep, in reality, my daughter cried for less than five minutes — five minutes of a 12-hour flight. The woman glared at me throughout the entire ordeal.
Snarky looks, eye rolls, and audible sighs distract parents from tending to their child's needs while trying to quiet them. It adds negative energy to an already uncomfortable situation. I wanted my daughter to be quiet more than anyone else on that plane — both for her sake and to not disturb other passengers. But all I felt from the woman in front of me was anger.
Instead of getting angry, offer some empathy and help
Plane travel isn't comfortable generally, but discord among passengers makes it even worse. Instead of getting angry with the child or parent, offer sympathy, a reassuring smile, a kind word, or even a helping hand. Little things make a huge difference and reduce stress, enabling parents to better tend to their child's needs.
When boarding a flight, come prepared. There will likely be one or two loud passengers on the flight — whether it's an adult or child. My advice is to bring noise-canceling headphones, read a book or watch a movie, and just be grateful that you're not the one traveling with a cranky child.