My daughter is autistic. Sending her to summer camp takes a lot of trust.

• My daughter has autism spectrum disorder, and it affects every part of her life.
• We've tried many summer camp programs — some with more structure than others.

Attending summer camp is a rite of passage — the chance for kids to be loud, get dirty, or jump in a pool 50 times in a row if they want. But for neurodiverse kids and their parents, the experience can be agonizing, stressful, and filled with dread, tears, and persuasion.

Our daughter, Sarah, 12, has autism spectrum disorder (ASD), a neurodevelopmental disorder that affects her entire life — from daily routines, to what she wears and eats, to how she perceives the world, makes friends, socializes and communicates. Her unique "spectrum" includes anxiety, sensory processing disorder, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.

Her neurodiverse brain simply reacts differently.

She avoids fireworks and loud concerts but attends school with her peers, has sleepovers, cooks pasta and has a tight circle of friends. With therapy, she can learn to speak up for herself and gain independence.

She needs a schedule

Sarah does best when her day is fully mapped out. Visual schedules remove ambiguities and keep her focused. Birthday parties, family road trips, and doctors' visits are major transitions that require extensive planning. Suddenly shifting situations cause serious stress.

Summer break is no exception. As a work-from-home freelance writer, I can plan day trips or get-togethers for her. But as the dreaded "What do we do now?" question looms, summer camp becomes a viable, reliable, yet anxiety-inducing option.

My biggest worries: Will she feel lonely or have a meltdown? If she's hurt, would she even tell anyone? Will she be ignored? Will she have fun and connect with others?

Finding the right one has been a steep gamble.

Finding the right camp takes work

One camp offered solid schedules and plenty of time outside. She loved the pool, and the playground swings regulated her. But the camp was a bust after a student threw rocks at her.

Other programs lacked structure and support. A pile of random Legos on a cafeteria table might seem fun but can spell anxiety for neurodiverse kids. Another offered swimming, but she preferred to stay in the shade and read; we'll never know why.

It's not anyone's fault. Glossy pamphlets and slick websites advertising endless fun don't always deliver for kids with additional needs.

We absolutely loved one outdoor nature camp. We could see the counselors cared. Sarah was often in a great mood at pickup time. Tactile activities like making campfires, petting horses and carving wood seemed to bring some happiness. She even gave us brief, daily rundowns of activities — a small but wonderful victory.

Nationwide, autism rates are rising. The CDC states one in 36 children has autism, a startling statistic, up from one in 44 just months earlier.

The American Camp Association acknowledges the need to address neurodiversity in recreation. Her bullying incident was a clear example of the heavy amount of trust placed in counselors.

Ultimately, it's about finding good programs with counselors who will hear your concerns and advocate for your child. Achieving the right mix takes work and patience.

Over time, I've become more proactive and inquisitive. Does the pool have a deep end? What's the counselor-kid ratio? Are there quiet places to go? Asking questions is simply part of my job to keep her safe.

I'm thankful to be Sarah's mom, and for everything she's taught me. I'm grateful we can afford what is essentially child care for working parents. And we'll keep trying, because we know summer camps have broadened her perspective, helped her socialize, and brought her joy.