- Michelle Obama discussed her relationship on "The Light Podcast" in conversation with Oprah Winfrey.
- The author of "The Light We Carry" said she and husband Barack Obama differ in "how we show love."
Michelle Obama and Barack Obama have different styles when it comes to showing and receiving love — something that took time to get used to, she said on an April 25 episode of her Audible series "The Light Podcast."
On the podcast, featuring conversations from book-tour events for Michelle's memoir "The Light We Carry," interviewer Oprah Winfrey asked the former first lady about how she and Barack navigate their relationship differently.
Michelle said that her husband is more verbally and physically affectionate because he and his family lived far apart and didn't get to see each other very often, whereas she grew up surrounded by extended family and considers expressing love as being present.
"One of the things that's different in how we show love is that because his family lived far away, and traveled a lot, he had to learn to love at a distance," the former first lady said.
Marriage counselor Gary Chapman created the five love languages in 1995, categorizing how each person wants to receive love: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. While Michelle said Barack leans more towards words of affirmation and physical touch, she prefers acts of service and quality time.
"I grew up with everybody within eight blocks of each other," she said. "All my aunts, and uncles, and great uncles, and cousins, and everybody celebrated birthdays. So we were with each other, every weekend, twice a weekend. We were always together. So it was like, 'Mmm, bye. I don't have to tell you I love you because I'm going to see you Saturday.' So love, for me, was showing up. It was like, 'Yeah, yeah. Stop kissing me. Just do the laundry.'"
Michelle has opened up about other challenges she has experienced during their 30-year marriage, saying in a 2022 Revolt x Michelle Obama special that she "couldn't stand" Barack for 10 years after the birth of their daughters until realizing that "marriage isn't 50/50, ever."
"I believe more of us have to be honest about the work that it takes to build a life with another person," she told Winfrey on the podcast.