I'm never having kids. All my Gen Z friends agree — we won't be parents in a world like this.
- Brooklen Farley is a 25-year-old massage therapist in Texas who's decided not to have kids.
- Growing up, she thought she'd become a mother, but the realities of the world changed her mind.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Brooklen Farley, a 25-year-old massage therapist based in Texas. It's been edited for length and clarity.
When I was younger, I thought I wanted to be a mother, but now that I'm an adult, I don't want kids. I decided I didn't want to be a parent during college when I realized how hopeless the future seemed, from the economy to the climate.
I also don't believe in the American dream enough to try to chase it while raising another human, and neither do my friends.The members of Gen Z I know tend to believe in the American dream less than the generations before us. Most of my friend group just doesn't see a path in the future where we have a good, stable job and can afford both a house and a family.We've seen the crash of the economy, how there are fewer jobs than applicants, and salaries that aren't rising to meet inflation levels. Climate change is disastrous, and the prices of daily goods just keep getting higher and higher. What about this situation is supposed to make young people want to have kids?My generation is different from my parents' generation
My mom believed that if she worked hard, she could afford a house with a white picket fence and 2-and-½ kids. That's just not how we think. We don't even know if the planet is going to sustain us into our old age, so it doesn't make sense to me to plan on expanding our families.
My mom was a single mom until she got remarried when I was 8. My parents know how I feel about kids, and their advice is to wait to make my decision until I know I'm sure.I'm 25, and even though that's a normal age to get pregnant, if one of my friends were to tell me they were pregnant right now, I would want to congratulate them, but would just be thinking of the financial burden. Gen Z can't even afford to raise themselves, let alone other people.
I don't see the point in having kids in the world as it is
Many people call us Zoomers, but honestly, a lot of us are doomers: We feel pessimistic about the future and don't want to subject our children to it.
I always thought I would have kids because it seemed like the next step on the path of life. I just figured I'd grow up, go to school, get a job, get married, and then have kids — but that was before I understood reality.Now, my goal is to make enough money for myself, my partner, and my pets. I want us to be able to live comfortably enough to save, to spend on what we want, and to pay all our bills.We rent a house right now and plan on doing that for the foreseeable future. We also want to get married.
I've never felt baby fever
The idea of motherhood seems exhausting. I don't know how moms make it work, especially when they have jobs, too. My mom was a stay-at-home mom, so on days that I forgot my lunch or needed something, she could drop everything and come to school to help me. I can't imagine having that kind of freedom.
Even if I was financially stable and could count on a job to keep me totally comfortable, I don't think I'd be able to balance that with motherhood, which is already a full-time job.A lot of my friends are instead focused on trying to make the world a better place. We spend our time calling our representatives to demand legislative change, going to climate-justice protests, or trying to elevate the social causes we believe in. I often think about the world that was passed down to me and what kind of world I will in turn pass on to future generations.
I might be more open to having kids if things were different
My schedule right now is flexible. Since I'm a massage therapist, I mainly work afternoons and evenings, but I don't know how I'd afford childcare while working if I became a mother.
There's not enough time in the day for people to balance both their lives and their jobs, so it doesn't surprise me that birth rates are declining.What I appreciate about Gen Z is that we're willing to imagine a better world — and work for it. We want better work-life balance and a planet focused on fixing the climate crisis.Unless things change drastically — such as people taking climate change more seriously and improving wealth distribution — I don't see myself ever changing my mind.