I'm buying my son a doll for the holidays this year. I want him to have options to play with.

• I realized that our house is filled with non-gendered toys for my son to play with.
• I want him to have a variety of toys to play with, including dolls.

I donate the yellow dump trucks to the consignment store. It seems like every time my son has a birthday, we end up drowning in "boy toys."

For the most part, our home is filled with magnet tiles, stuffed animals, art supplies, blocks, train tracks, dominoes, dinosaurs, and a truly distressing amount of marble run parts. Toys that appeal to kids of all genders.

But my son doesn't have a doll. Recently, I asked myself why.

I want my kids to be free from gender roles

As a feminist parent, I thought I was doing a decent job helping my 4-year-old develop into a person who doesn't feel limited or oppressed by stereotypical gender roles. We respect his wishes to keep his hair long. We read him stories featuring protagonists of all genders. My husband and I model equality for him by dividing labor in the household.

But my child has preferences. He loves building above all other activities. He would rather make houses, roads, dinosaur zoos, and marble runs than play with just about any other toy. We do our best to support his love of building, but we also expose him to other kinds of toys that will help with his emotional, intellectual, and sensory development. He's also got a tea set, play food, and Peppa Pig's entire empire.

Mostly, we just want him to have fun and feel like his options for play are limitless.

His sister has dolls that he plays with

When my daughter was born, the household was suddenly teeming with pink gifts. Pink blankets, pink onesies, pink, pink, pink. My God, I thought, this is absurd. Then a doll arrived, of course, she was wearing a pink bunting.

My daughter was too small to do anything with the doll, so I put it away until her first birthday. When that day came, I presented it to her. She grabbed the doll immediately and started jabbing it in the eye. Then she started dragging it around. Eventually, she started calling it "baby" — one of her first words, actually.

One day, I noticed my son had picked up the doll and was rocking it. He was acting very tenderly, which surprised me because he had been less than loving so far with his new sister.

Suddenly, I was struck by how ignorant I had been.

It seems easier to encourage girls to engage with STEM toys or more traditionally "boy" toys than to encourage boys to play with more traditionally "girl" toys like dolls — even today when progressive parents are challenging conceptions of gendered play.

Last year, the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media conducted a survey regarding toys and gender. According to chief executive Madeline Di Nonno, 71% of boys surveyed were afraid they would be made fun of if they played with what they described as "girls' toys" — and their parents were also afraid. "Parents are more worried that their sons will be teased than their daughters for playing with toys associated with the other gender," Di Nonno said.

Kids should be encouraged to all kinds of play

It seems so obvious to say that boys shouldn't be limited to trucks and trains; boys should be encouraged to embrace all forms of play and nurture all aspects of their personality. The same goes for activities and clothing. Do we really have to keep engaging in debates about who gets to take ballet classes and who gets to dress up like Spiderman?

Unfortunately, yes. There are still marketing campaigns that use sexist and outmoded stereotypes to sell their products. Thankfully, the toy industry is becoming more gender-neutral. Still, there is more work to be done — and parents can help by examining their own biases.

So for the holidays this year, I'm getting my son a doll. Maybe it will end up at the consignment store. But at least he'll have the option.