- Sara Lyle moved from New York to Singapore after having never visited the city-state before.
- The culture shock she faced after moving to Asia included adjusting to the locals' bluntness.
Before moving to Singapore eight years ago, I heard it described as "Asia Lite" or "Asia for Beginners" partly because — compared with, say, China or Vietnam — almost everyone there speaks English, one of its four national languages, along with Malay, Mandarin, and Tamil.
The city-state also tends to be more accessible to outsiders thanks to its modern infrastructure, cleanliness, and safety. Boasting the world's best airport, travelers use it as a convenient gateway to exploring the region.
This reputation was why I felt comfortable enough to board a 23-hour flight from New York City to Singapore, sight unseen, at six-months pregnant, and start a life on the other side of the planet.
Upon arrival, however, I was taken aback by different Singaporean traditions and traits. One example was the bluntness often used by locals. Taxi drivers, without hesitation, would ask how much I paid in rent during the ride. Likewise, upon learning that I was an American, various strangers and new acquaintances would come right out with, "Do you like Obama?" and, eventually, "What do you think of Trump?" Generally speaking, people in America don't lead with these types of personal or political questions.
I was also unfamiliar with certain customs, such as handing out business cards with both hands, often with a slight head nod. This practice was part of nearly every business-related gathering.
After giving birth and landing a full-time job for the rest of my time there, I had so many business cards from such exchanges that I could have tossed them in the air like confetti during the New Year's Eve ball drop at Times Square.
But, despite these types of cultural adjustments, Singapore turned out to be the lovely place I imagined it would be, in large part because of the warm people — both citizens and non — who welcomed my son and me with open arms. When I moved back to my Florida hometown seven years later, Singapore felt as much like "home" as New York had before that.
What I wasn't expecting was to feel reverse culture shock so acutely. Sure, I had lived in the US most of my life and spoke the language, but everything, such as transportation, tipping, and wellness treatments, felt foreign. Here's what it's been like being back, first in Florida and now in Colorado, for the last year and a half.
Getting around took some getting used to
Most Americans outside big cities drive cars, and there's plenty of land to spare. I haven't lived in a major city since leaving Singapore, and I still miss its relative closeness. The island nation is only a little more than 275 square miles, similar in size to Jacksonville, Florida — although Singapore's population is five times the size.
During those years in Singapore, I used public transportation, biked, or walked from point A to point B — cabs were also affordable when needed. As owning a car was prohibitively expensive — it costs $76,000-plus just to get the right to buy a car there — it made financial sense not to drive while there.
Today, my son and I live in Colorado with my husband and two stepsons. And, as you might expect from the Rocky Mountain State, it has a car-based culture because of its hilly terrain and snowy winters, plus the fact that it's so spread out. I'm back to driving, and while it's not my favorite thing to do, I consider it part of my "cultural immersion" here. When in Rome, you know?
Getting back in the habit of tipping
Another thing I had to get used to in Singapore was not having to tip. For the first couple of months, if not years, it just felt "weird" and "wrong" not to tip cab drivers, waiters, bartenders, hair stylists, nail techs, and every other manner of service worker.
Now, when I'm dining out, I have to remind myself to add the standard 20% tip to the restaurant bill plus sales tax.
Missing Asian self-care staples
Once I moved back, I was quickly reminded that people in the US typically drink ice in their water — it's not even a choice at most restaurants. Despite the temperature in Singapore averaging 85 degrees year-round, more often than not, people opt for room-temperature or lukewarm water. One major reason: According to traditional Chinese medicine, or TCM, it's better for the digestive and circulatory systems and doesn't disrupt the body's natural balance.
Though I had gotten acupuncture before moving to Singapore, I didn't do it as fanatically. I ended up going to the same TCM doctor for years, visiting her house for regular acupuncture or cupping sessions, as well as to refill my prescription of herbal remedies.
Over time, she treated me for things as varied as stress, sleep issues, bloating, and head colds. When I broke my elbow in an inline skating fall, she was one of my first calls. Thanks to her close care, plus additional physical therapy and calcium supplements, my elbow returned to almost full function. No surgery was required.
While my health insurance didn't cover these types of "alternative" or "preventive" medicines there or here, the going rate for a licensed TCM doctor was about $30 an hour in Singapore. I haven't found any reputable clinics at a comparable price in the Denver suburbs around me.
In the end, it was only upon returning to my American roots that I realized how deeply intertwined my experiences in Singapore had become with my sense of "home." As the saying goes, "Home is where the heart is," and it appears mine resides in multiple places.