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I'm an American mom living in Italy. Parents here are more relaxed and have an emphasis on enjoying life more.

Aug 4, 2023, 23:15 IST
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The author with her husband and daughter.Courtesy of the author
  • I'm from New York but have been living in Italy for the past 10 years.
  • I'm married to an Italian man, and we have a 5-year-old daughter together.
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I'm an American originally from New York City. But I've been living in Italy for the past 10 years. I also gave birth to my daughter here almost five years ago. My daughter is bilingual, and she's become fully immersed in the Italian way of life.

Raising a child in a country different than my own can be a challenge. After all, I'm an American and was raised in America by American parents. I'm raising my daughter in a country where the first language is my second and with an Italian father.

Italian and American parents couldn't be more different in their parenting approach. And I think Italian parents are onto something.

Italian parents seem more relaxed

I've noticed that my European friends who have kids don't rely on a parenting style — such as the four types of parenting referred to as authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and neglectful. Italian parents seem more laid back and relaxed, which shows in their parenting.

For instance, in our household, I'm definitely the stricter parent when it comes to our daughter, and my husband is way more relaxed. What he sees as strict, I see as educating our daughter and trying to get our daughter to listen.

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Here, I'm not rushing to take my daughter from one activity to the next

In the US, I see how out of hand getting kids involved in after-school activities has become for my friends. Don't get me wrong, getting kids involved in sports, clubs, or music is necessary — I just don't see the benefit of filling their every free minute with activity. In Italy, kids usually play soccer at the park with their friends or go to dance classes, but being part of clubs and groups is not as emphasized as it is in the US.

In the summer months, since school is out, kids in Italy don't really stick to a schedule. For one thing, Italy can get incredibly hot in the summer months, and the best time to go out and enjoy the day is in the evening. So, kids often stay out very late. Plus, most of Italy shuts down in August because of the heat. Kids are just able to be kids and go to bed whenever they want.

I think Italians are more relaxed in general, its not just the parents

In Italy, there is such an emphasis on enjoying life that Italians make that a habit. They enjoy life and their family. They're not as attached to their careers or work or the idea of constantly working to make more money. Their priority is being happy and being with their family.

To me, it comes down to balance. There are some things that European parents seem to have down and some that I prefer the American way. It's about approaching parenting in your own unique way.

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