I'm a photographer, and I asked men on Tinder if I could take their portraits. It led to unexpected connections, a book, and a photo exhibit.

• Mel McVeigh is a photographer who created a portrait series with men she met on Tinder.
• She says she learned more about connection and intimacy via this project.

This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Mel McVeigh. It has been edited for length and clarity.

For me, Tinder was an unsuccessful dating app until I changed my profile and created a conversation.

The app always aimed to match me with people it assumed I would like, and no matter what I tried, I was always given similar types of men that didn't suit me.

When I changed my profile to ask for something more creative, unique, and challenging, I saw positive results.

I went on Tinder to create art

In 2020, I attended a photographic residence in Cosprons, a small town in France near the Spanish border. My goal while I was there was to create a portrait series based on connection, intimacy, and what it is to love. But being in a remote town, I didn't have someone to explore this with.

The workshop was led by a distinguished French photographer, Claudine Doury, who suggested going on Tinder to find a subject to photograph.

Initially skeptical, I had little confidence I would find a suitable match, but I decided to move forward with the project anyway.

I updated my Tinder bio with the simple line, "Can I take your portrait?" Then, I swiped for two days with no result until I matched with a Belgian man staying at his father's holiday home in Bacares, Spain, 60 miles away.

After several messages, we discussed my photography project on the phone. And so began a poetic journey into portraiture, dating, connection, and friendship.

I was extremely nervous before taking the first portrait

Driving so far away to meet a man I had never met was a little nerve-racking, but as soon as we connected, we both felt at ease, and within 10 minutes, I started taking his portrait.

After our portrait session, we spent the day driving around the oyster farms of Bacares. It was a truly remarkable experience and a fun first date.

We never felt the spark, but we both had an amazing time. We have since become very good friends.

My teacher suggested turning it into a bigger project

When my teacher suggested I expand this work, I was hesitant again. I was still determining whether I wanted to turn my dating experiences into a true photographic project outside the class. Unfortunately, it was also during the pandemic, so opportunities were few and far between.

But six months later, I again took the plunge, and with that simple request in my Tinder bio, this project was born.

I was in Madrid and shot this project over two years after the pandemic started. During this time, nine men agreed to have their photos taken, and I traveled to France, Spain, the UK, and Australia.

As the project evolved, all but one of the men agreed to stay in the project and contributed by adding words and poetry to the series or helping me edit the pictures.

These meetings were so different from usual Tinder dates

I met artists, producers, cinematographers, travelers, and creatives. By asking an inherently creative question in my profile, it attracted men who were creative, who wanted to be vulnerable, and who wanted to be part of something unique.

In all my previous experiences on Tinder, I had never connected to people more closely aligned with my values, needs, and desires.

As a photographer and artist, I found taking portraits in this way was a new process. It required me to be more patient, softer, and calmer. All the men were very nervous about having their portraits taken. Some nearly asked to stop before we started.

None had ever been photographed for a portrait, which I found fascinating.

In a world of selfies and social media, the idea of collaborating on an image was foreign to them all. But that's what attracted them to the concept in the first place.

The connections forged have led to friendships

Did I date some of them? One or two, yes; the rest, I did not. Did I fall in love? No.

I wonder whether the photographic project changed the dynamic, but in the end, I speak with them all as friends I met over time and continents during a wild period of history.

I thank all of them for choosing to be vulnerable and allowing me to take their portrait by simply saying yes. They have given me a space to become an artist again.

I also found through our conversations that men were often just as sensitive, soft, and scared when it came to dating as women. When you peel back the surface and engage in a different way from what you're used to, you can see another side to people.

I learned how to make the algorithm work for me

I work in technology and firmly believe that dating-app algorithms are inherently biased. Data is based on collective averages of "other people like you," so to break the algorithm and attract a different type of person, you had to feed it different inputs.

Based on age, I was matched only with older men to whom I didn't feel physically attracted, and I did not share many of the same interests.

The app also reads conversations and bios, so it looks for people who mention certain words over and over and then it pairs those people on the basis that they'll likely get along. It is an algorithm, and it is looking for a pattern.

So I wrote something very different in my profile from what I'd written before and changed my preferences in terms of age. Making these modifications changed the people who were given to me as prospective matches, and my conversations with the people I matched with felt fresher.

Though I learned a lot about making dating apps work for me, I no longer use them. I prefer to meet people in real life and have a reasonably easy time doing that.

The project is now an exhibition and photo book

In May, I'm holding an exhibition in London featuring the photo series, which I've titled "A Chance of Love." I have also created a photo book on the project that features contributions from the men involved.

The project was a true collaboration. One of the men wrote a poem in three languages, and it's now part of the book; two others advised me during the book's editing process. Upon reflection, some decided to have me remove parts of our conversation from the text I wrote along with their portrait, which I was happy to do. I supported whatever level of involvement they wanted in the project.

A few of the men want to meet each other and share the experience, so they'll be together on the exhibition's opening night. It's sure to be yet another experience that I'll never forget, and one that I'm glad I'll get to share with these people I'd never have met had I not taken that leap — and changed my bio and preferences on Tinder, all in the name of art.