I'm a New Zealander who moved to the US for love, but the immigration process didn't feel like a fairytale

• I went on a two-week road trip with a friend and met the man who is now my husband.
• Even though the meeting was romantic, the visa paperwork afterward wasn't.

After a life-changing road trip, I went from single living in New Zealand's biggest city to married life in small-town California.

I never thought I'd move for love until I did. But between filling out the paperwork and waiting for residency status, the immigration process was far from romantic.

I spontaneously met my husband on a California road trip

Even though some believed 2012 would be our last year on Earth, it marked the beginning of a new adventure for me.

I was in my 20s and fresh out of several years working in the banking sector in New Zealand. As a fledgling freelance writer, I discovered a new world of remote work and started agreeing to more travel opportunities.

So when my friend Lisa asked if I'd like to meet up in California for a two-week road trip, I was in.

Lisa and I started in San Francisco with a small rental car. After a few days, we turned up in South Lake Tahoe, ready for a beer and a meal.

As good Kiwi rugby fans, we tried to follow a football game that was on in the bar but didn't understand the rules. So I asked the guy waiting next to us if he could explain what "sacking" is, which he patiently did. He then offered to take us to see a live band playing at a different pub.

I then met his nephew — a shy, good-looking Marine veteran who would end up becoming my future husband — in the back of a truck.

We were squished together in the back, he looked at me, and I asked him about his tattoos. The rest is history.

I finished up my road trip, traveled some more, spent a lot of time talking on the phone with my guy, and came back to Tahoe for a surprise Christmas proposal. I said yes, but the rest played out more like a reality show than a romantic movie.

As a foreigner, you can't just declare you've found love and stay in the US

Every immigrant's story tends to follow a different path.

When I returned to the US, I needed an "adjustment of status" approved — a way to apply for a green card without returning to my home country — which involved paying about $700 in fees and filing lengthy paperwork. This price has since gone up by several hundred dollars.

It's a nerve-wracking process that stretches out over months (if not years) and comes with the strong sense you're ceding some control over how your life will end up to an unknown government representative.

All you can do is take a deep breath and try not to focus on the maybes. As long as you have all of your paperwork in order, there's nothing to do but wait.

I was at a bit of an advantage since English is my first language, so wading through all of the paperwork was much easier for me than it may be for many others. I was able to complete the process without the assistance of a lawyer, but many immigrants do and should use one if they can.

But filling out the paperwork was only the beginning. I had to persistently follow up with the United States Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) since my application took almost a year to process.

The USCIS doesn't forbid international travel while awaiting a decision, but it's then up to a Customs and Border Protection officer to grant you re-entry into the country. I didn't want to take any unnecessary risks, so I didn't leave the US to visit my family for the year-long process.

Eventually, my application was approved. And recently, I even became a US citizen.

I didn't originally intend to become a citizen — I wasn't even sure if my husband and I would stay in the US long-term. But the process was relatively straightforward for me, with an application on the grounds of five or more years of marriage to a US citizen.

Now I can vote as a way to engage with my community and have a say in how things are run.

In the end, the entire process was worth it

We're now married with one child and a house in South Lake Tahoe.

It wasn't an easy transition. We weathered a dicey apartment, the toddler years, the housing market, long car rides, a pandemic, and even a wildfire evacuation — but we made it.

There are many aspects to life here that took some getting used to. I had to carve out a career in a place where I had no connections, and I missed my family and friends back in New Zealand.

But my heart is in both countries, and I wouldn't change that.