- As a
Montessori teacher and a mom, I have a lot of experience helping kids get dressed. - In my experience, children's
clothes are not designed with them in mind, which can cause anxiety.
It wasn't until I started teaching young kids to use the bathroom in my Montessori classroom that it dawned on me: Children's clothing, more often than not, isn't designed for childhood.
Skinny jeans that inhibit mobility. Dresses that are impossible to get over your head after an accident. Buttons - so many buttons - that little hands just can't maneuver. The distracting sequins that change color as you rub them. I was, and continued to be, confused by most children's clothing designs.
This became even more obvious when I started facing sensory challenges when getting my own daughters dressed in the morning for preschool. Instead of an enthusiastic start to the day, it felt like an explosive negotiation between too-tight leggings, sweatpants with tiny pills, and "itchy" seams on everything.
The negotiations always ended in tears. These feelings of frustration and helplessness set the tone for the rest of the day and made the hard things feel even harder.
It's not a lack of skills that gets in the way
I wanted their days to start with them knowing they were capable and feeling confident in themselves.
I knew they had the coordination to get dressed; my oldest was working on needlepoint with me at home. It wasn't that they weren't capable of learning how to dress. It was that the design and quality of the clothing impeded their efforts.
I did everything I could think of to change the experience of dressing in the morning. I played silly games, bought oversized clothes, stretched out their clothes, had meetings with the pediatrician, made up songs, met with a child therapist, and bribed them with television.
One dress changed the whole dynamic
One day, a Hanna Andersson box arrived on my doorstep, a gift from my mother-in-law. She and I had been working together searching for clothes that would work.
I opened the package in front of the girls, and inside was a lemon-print swing dress. I held up the dress and examined it: smooth seams around the neckline, pockets for sensory input, and a loose, roomy fit. It was promising.
I invited my older daughter to try it on. She laid the dress on the floor, then pulled it on over her head and pressed her hands down the side, feeling the fabric against her skin. I held my breath.
"I love it!" she chirped. "Can I wear it right now?" I clipped the tag off, and she skipped off to play.
I think of this dress as the "gateway dress" because it drastically changed our mornings and days. I know that might sound dramatic. I assure you, it's not.
Everything got easier. Suddenly, when I would tell the girls it was time to get dressed, they would enthusiastically oblige. Transitions became more manageable, and during our lessons they were more attentive and eager - all because of a dress.
There are a small handful of clothing companies that have realized that children's clothes should be for childhood. Finding them took some time, but I am so glad we did. We no longer have long and complicated clothing negotiations.
Once we found that one dress, my daughter's attitude toward getting dressed changed, and so did her confidence in herself. We saw her transition from helpless to empowered, and she carried that confidence into her classroom. Learning became easier.
My girls no longer worry about how their clothes feel in class. They're too busy playing and learning. They get to be kids.