Thelife- I flew 1,000 hours in my days as a flight attendant and learned so much.
- Some of those things I learned I've applied as a passenger flying with kids.
My career as a flight attendant was short-lived but incredibly informative. In the 1,000 hours I spent working at altitude, I learned many facts and skills I still employ every time I board a plane, albeit now as a passenger.
When I became a mom and started traveling with a small child, I suddenly understood a different type of travel stress. There's so much to remember to bring — a change of clothes, extra diapers, toys, and snacks — and the need to try to keep a little one entertained and calm during a long flight can be an emotional weight.
That's why the smallest thing can often tip parents over the edge, like checking your boarding pass and finding out you're not seated next to your child — a scenario straight out of parenting hell.
There's no law to make sure parents fly next to their children
Individual airline policies vary, but there isn't any enforced legislation to ensure families are seated together on a flight. Sometimes delays, flight cancellations, or aircraft changes can disrupt otherwise meticulously laid travel plans.
People choose their seats ahead of time for lots of reasons. They might want to nap and so choose a window seat to rest their head, or they might want an aisle seat so they can use the bathroom as often as they need without disturbing other passengers. Perhaps they want to sit with a friend or partner to watch a movie together or to keep a nervous flyer calm.
Any of these reasons is a good enough reason to say no if you're asked to switch seats. But the main reason you should consider switching is that traveling next to children can be awful, but traveling next to a sad child who's been separated from their parents is the worst.
Traveling with kids is hard
Small children will need help to open their snacks, take a drink, work their TV screen, fasten their seatbelts, go to the washroom, or get cozy with a blanket. If you refuse to move, you might end up playing babysitter or listening to a distressed little one crying.
Or you might find their parent has to keep hanging out in the aisle or leaning over you to tend to their child. This can delay drink and meal services, block the aisle for people trying to get to the bathroom, or become a safety hazard.
Anyone who's dropped a small child off at daycare and faced a flood of tears knows how emotional it can be for small children to be separated from their parents. It's not melodramatic to say this could traumatize parents and children.
So you don't have to move — but you might want to for the benefit of all involved.
What you can do
To help increase your chance of being seated next to your kids, check in 24 hours before your flight leaves. If you find after checking in that you're seated separately, speak with a gate agent before boarding — they'll be able to see whether any passengers missed their connections or didn't check in and whether they might be able to seat you together.
Your last chance to be moved without having to approach other passengers directly is to speak with a flight attendant as you board. They'll try their best to help, as they know that children and parents sitting together is better for everyone.
As for other travelers, you aren't obligated to switch seats with parents and kids who've been separated, especially if you specifically chose your seat or paid a premium to sit there. But as with most things in life, a little empathy and kindness go a long way. If you can switch, you'll be helping a stressed-out parent feel more relaxed and secure for the next few hours — and you'll be more likely to enjoy your flight in peace.