- Sarah Ahn is a 28-year-old social media coordinator and content creator.
- She has chosen to live at home with her parents, saying it's helped her save money.
This as-told-to essay is based on a conversation with Sarah Ahn, who is based in Orange County, California, about her decision to live at home with her parents. It has been edited for length and clarity.
I'm 28 years old and I live at home with my parents because I don't see why not — they're great people and I save money. It's just a win-win overall.
I did move away from home for the first two years of college, but I've always had a mentality of wanting to save money as much as I can. I realized there was really no point in paying to live elsewhere, so I moved home at the end of my second year of college, and commuted to college after that.
I'm Korean American, and in Korea it's not at all shameful to live with your parents in your mid-20s and up. I know people in Korea with varying occupations who are close in age to me, and they all live at home.
At the beginning of September, I posted a TikTok about my living situation. I was scared people would be harsh in the comments, and say that I depend on my parents too much, but that wasn't the case.
Many people commented in support, sharing that in their cultures it's seen as completely normal, and it's the US that's weird about it. I felt reassured that what I was thinking was something that many other people were too.
I want to destigmatize the idea of having to move out of your family home as an adult, and show that living at home isn't just for people who can't afford to move out or those who depend on their parents financially and emotionally.
@ahnestkitchen Normalize living at home #koreanfood #koreanmom #livingathome #bibimguksu
♬ Sweet Sunset - Tollan Kim & dulai
Living with my parents as an adult hasn't always been smooth sailing, but it's worked out well
I enjoy living with my parents a lot. I cherish every moment I have with them, but we've definitely had our challenges, especially as I was going into adulthood.
During my mid-20s, I was transitioning from being a college grad to a full-time worker, and it was a bit challenging because my parents still viewed me as a kid. If I came home late on certain nights, they would ask to know where I was.
After many discussions and talks with my parents, my mom ultimately told me that she realized that she needs to learn to let go and respect me as an adult. From there on, she just let go and completely trusted every decision I made and stopped questioning everything I did, which was very nice.
I now work a full-time job as a social media coordinator and have a blog and social media presence, which I've been able to monetize.
I financially support myself and I don't get a dime from my parents. I don't pay rent, but I would say I contribute about $1,000 per month which goes towards everything we need to make sure the house is running.
I don't feel like it's that much in the grand scheme of how much rent is for a single household. I'm able to save a lot of money, and it means I can also help out my brother if he ever needs it. Also, if my parents need extra help, they can always depend on me. They try not to ask, but I think there's a lot of reassurance that I'm always there to help, and that makes me feel really fulfilled.
Currently, I stay with my parents during the week and at my boyfriend's on the weekends for the most part. I think it helps a lot to have personal space at a different place.
Now it sometimes feels like my parents are my roommates. We all have our own routine and our own way of living life, and we all respect that. It's very independent. I'll wake up and join my family in a communal breakfast that my mom often makes in the morning. I make my own lunch and dinner, I do my own laundry, and all the things an adult typically does.
I think I'll live with my parents until I want to get engaged, and then I want to move out and live with my future fiancé.
Living at home and being financially savvy should be just as normalized as moving out
I think a lot of people that I meet are quite surprised when they learn that I live at home and I always have to explain it to them. They understand my explanations, but it's the fact the fact that I always have to explain makes it feel like they think it's abnormal.
In my experience, people in the US typically move out once they go to college, or when they get their first full-time gig. For a lot of people, it's so normal to move out during your early 20s, even if you can't afford it. I've found there's a strong stigma attached to living at home by a certain point in your life — you're considered to be financially and emotionally dependent on your parents.
I don't disagree with the concept of moving out in your 20s but I wish it wasn't an expected norm in America. I think living at home and being financially savvy should be just as normalized as moving out. Both should be seen as equal, where there's no negative perception of living at home at any age.
Of course, if it's hard or unbearable living with your parents or you want to learn how to be independent or you're looking for a new adventure, then it completely makes sense to move out.
At the same time, I would encourage people to consider staying home with their parents if it makes sense for them. For example, if they have parents who are quite fun to live with, and if their goal is to save money quite aggressively, then I would definitely suggest they at least consider it.