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I went on a 'momcation' when I realized how much I missed my alone time. Just 24 hours to myself left me feeling reenergized.

Aug 6, 2023, 18:52 IST
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The author in her hotel on her "momcation."Photo courtesy of the writer
  • I never thought I would miss rest, but after my daughter's birth, it became a rare commodity.
  • I decided to take a "momcation" where I would enjoy a night out at a five-star hotel and spa.
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Before I became a mother, people told me I'd miss rest. I thought that was silly. I had waited my whole life to have a baby, and in my mind's eye, all I saw was us doing things like walking everywhere hand in hand, baking in the kitchen, and singing together.

Luckily, life with my firecracker 21-month-old is not far off from what I had always dreamed of. But there are parts of my "old life" that I never knew I'd miss so much. And even though it may seem obvious, parenting can be difficult, no matter how dreamlike your child is.

For almost two years, I've been able to truly relax and be myself only in small windows of time, in the margins of motherhood. The people who told me I would miss rest were right: It's a rare commodity.

To reclaim some of the parts of me I've missed, I started taking "momcations" to remember what it was like before I was always needed.

Mothers are reclaiming their time by taking 'momcations'

On social media, there are plenty of videos from influencers that stress the importance of spending as much time with your kids as possible because time goes quickly and "you only get 18 summers with them." While I understand the intention, it can feel like the implication is that we aren't supposed to take time for ourselves, and that's a lot of pressure.

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Thankfully, other mothers are providing another perspective and taking time back for themselves on momcations. The idea is that by taking the time to decompress, they'll be better parents when they come back home. Many #momcation videos on TikTok have hundreds of thousands — even millions — of views.

I broached the idea of a momcation with my husband, who thought it was a great idea, having been on the receiving end of me telling him how jealous I was of his hourlong commute to work some days. In between the joy and chaos of my everyday life, I was craving silence, stillness, and the ability to relax in a way that isn't brainless scrolling on TikTok for an hour before bed.

A week later, it was time. I'd gone through the plan with my husband multiple times before leaving, which included our daughter's snacks, clothes, and bedtime routine (he's an excellent caregiver without my help, but I was nervous to leave her for the first time), and I was ready to go.

With 24 hours of complete freedom ahead of me, I headed to London's Soho to do some creative work in the Ham Yard Hotel bar before switching off to drink berry tea while my pedicurist worked her magic in the hotel's Soholistic Spa.

Next, I checked into Corinthia London — which happens to be the preferred hotel of Beyoncé and Jay-Z when they're visiting the area. With in-house restaurants featuring Michelin-starred chefs as well as the largest hotel spa in London, it's no surprise why. If it's fit for Queen Bey, it's good enough for me.

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My spa therapist made me cry by giving me permission to relax

When I arrived, I headed straight to the spa. Lost in the immense circular maze of ESPA Life — the underground, multilevel thermal spa at the Corinthia — I settled down for a deep-muscle-relaxation treatment, which included a short meditation. To my surprise (and slight horror), I felt tears spring in my eyes as my spa therapist, Maria, gently said, "This is your time to relax, your time to be calm."

We don't often feel that it's permissible to relax as a parent. There are a million and one things to do, and it's difficult to find time to just be. I was grateful to be told explicitly to claim the moment.

I went from having no time alone to having time to spare

Back in my room, feeling less tense than I had in months, I realized that my entire evening was free. I was struck with the same feeling I had when my baby was napping at home: complete paralysis. At home, it stems from a need for more time. I deliberate whether I should get some work done, clean, or finally eat a meal. Now, I had the luxury of what felt like eons of free time. I contemplated having a bath, watching a film, writing, or heading back out to enjoy the night.

And I did all these things. I lingered over solo cocktails before heading back to take advantage of my wonderful room to write, floated in the cavernous bath, and watched a film in bed — all without glancing at the clock once.

The author enjoying a bath on her solo trip.Photo courtesy of the writer

The next morning, I was well rested. I was also struck by how quickly my time away seemed to have passed. Truly, nothing goes faster than time to yourself.

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My momcation helped me recenter, and I plan to take another soon

After my momcation, I felt replenished and realized I definitely needed the break. As cliché as it sounds, I wouldn't change a thing about my life, but moments like this reminded me of the podcast episode I hosted with Sophie Brock, a motherhood-studies sociologist, in which we discussed "mom guilt."

She told me that the self-sacrificial mothering in which we never take a break can rob us of the very connection we seek with our children. We don't always have to strive to be the "good mother." Being a "good enough" mother is enough.

I know I'm going to miss the tiny person my daughter is when she's no longer little. However, I still think that time away from our babies is important. I'm not going to look back with regret on the instances that I stopped to fill my own cup.

I definitely plan to take another momcation. If you feel like you need a break, too, that's OK. You don't need to relax in a five-star hotel (though that really helped), but if you can carve out an hour, an afternoon, a night, or more — take it. You can't run on empty.

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