I watched the new United Airlines rom-com so you don't have to

• United Airlines released a holiday rom-com called "Love in Plane Sight" today.
• The airline called it an "original film," so I expected it to be longer than 5 minutes and 44 seconds.

United has produced its very own movie, and it's called "Love in Plane Sight."

Yes, I'm talking about United Airlines.

When I heard the airline was releasing a movie, I imagined the boardroom brainstorming session that created the end result:

"OK, so we have money left in the annual budget and it needs to be used before the end of the year. What do you have for me?"

"Holiday-themed safety video?"

"I want bigger."

"I've got it! Let's go with a rom-com. We've seen an online bookseller, computer company, and mail-order delivery service all pull it off, why not us?"

"Hmmm, yeah, that could work, and each of our planes is filled with captive audiences that have nothing better to do."

"Any other pitches?"

Silence.

Production began soon after.

Better described as a short film, or United ad

To give United's movie a fair review, I decided to create a similar setting to what passengers might find onboard.

I changed into my go-to plane pants, poured myself a bowl of peanuts, and played the movie from my laptop, set up 20 inches from my face.

United referred to it as an "original film" in the press release, which led me to mistakenly anticipate more than 5 minutes and 44 seconds of entertainment. Turns out, this was enough time for a traveling astronomer to meet the man of her dreams, fall in love, and set off on their honeymoon to Hawaii. It even managed to feature four employees with sparkling elf ears and three cameos from Santa Claus himself.

The first sign that the movie is going down the enemies-to-lovers trope comes when the couple meets at the airport before boarding. Elle Towe, the astronomer, sips on a gingerbread latte as carolers sing. A grey-haired, bearded man in a red puffer vest —Santa — walks by and winks at her. And then a handsome stranger bumps into her, spilling her drink onto her white sweater.

The rest of the movie is a ride through bad airplane experience tropes — talkative seatmate, crying baby — and romance movie tropes. Plus, of course, a fair share of United product placement thrown into the mix.

The online announcement created some backlash

United posted a teaser for the movie on Instagram on November 6, including the movie tagline, "Do you believe in love at first flight?" The post got 6,882 likes and 261 comments.

A few people took this as an opportunity to question the airline's treatment of staff.

"Instead of being an overworked astronomer they should have changed the storyline to a broke and overworked flight attendant," one person wrote.

"Hmmmm money for a Hallmark movie but no money for a flight attendant contract? Priorities I see," another person wrote.

But it also prompted some others to share their own love stories.

"My husband and I met at an airport while waiting for United flights," one user posted. United replied to the post, encouraging them to share more.

"I was working a flight to London, met my husband at the airport while he waited for his United flight to New Orleans," another user posted.

As for the movie itself, well, keeping the run time at under six minutes was probably the smartest decision United made here.

The only scenario in which I could see myself devoting another six minutes of my life to this movie is if I happened to be on a United flight over the holidays, had a screaming baby next to me, and forgot to pack literally any other form of entertainment.

"Love in Plain Sight" can be seen on united.com on November 16 and onboard starting December 1.