I turned down a desk job with a $95,000 salary to attend pastry school. It was the best decision I ever made.
- I received a job offer for $95,000 in an industry that didn't align with my values.
- After thinking the offer over, I turned it down and chose to prioritize my happiness.
When the $95,000 job offer landed in my inbox, I audibly gasped.
I never expected to make a livable wage as a copywriter, let alone the kind of money that would change my life. But no amount of money could make up for the fact that it was in an industry that didn't align with my values.
I'd like to say that I immediately turned down the offer — that I'm the kind of person who is so self-aware that I didn't even consider taking a job that weighed heavily on my conscience. But that's not true.
Over the course of two days, I floundered, writing the same pro-con list over and over. I kept willing a new tiebreaker to appear, like trying to manifest a snack in an empty fridge when an odd craving strikes.
After all, maybe I could use this job as a means to an end. I had long harbored a dream of moving to France to attend a year-long, intensive pastry program at a prestigious culinary school. Maybe, I could swallow my morals and make this high-stress job work for two years, then quit after I'd saved the $25,000 I needed for tuition.
In the end, I never added my e-signature to the offer letter. Instead, I turned down the life-changing salary to attend the baking and pastry arts program at my local community college.
Instead of putting off my happiness, I'm choosing to experience it now
Maybe this is my millennial-Gen Z cusp showing, but putting my happiness first with no moral or financial strings attached is the best decision I've ever made.
The program at my community college will cost me just under $6,000. In two and a half years, I'll be walking across the stage to receive my diploma in baking and pastry arts.
If I'd taken the copywriting job, I'd probably still be trying to save $25,000 to begin my pastry-school experience, maybe boarding a flight to Paris in 2024.
Because I'm in school part-time, I haven't had to stop working or uproot my life, which is a good thing because I moved from Brooklyn to Asheville, North Carolina, less than a year ago.
Instead of spending 40 hours a week hunched over my computer, I divide my time.
Two days a week, I throw on my chef's whites and head to school where I'm learning the science behind sauces and how to make a perfectly Parisian souffle.
I spend the other three days at home or in coffee shops, working as a freelance copywriter. I make my own hours and only take on projects that align with my personal values.
Now, I shape my life around the things that bring me joy rather than further my career
The most revolutionary part of designing my own schedules has been building in time that's just for me.
I feel really lucky to have the freedom to do the things purely for pleasure — like taking a casual walk or reading on my porch with my girlfriend and our dogs.
I may not be making the kind of money that enables a constant stream of takeout without denting my bank account, but that's fine by me. These days, I'm happier than I have ever been. Part of that is by chance — but most of it is by design.
For so much of my life, I've been driven by a blind ambition that I thought might ease me up the corporate ladder — instead, it completely wore me down.
It took a lot of therapy and even more journaling to unlearn my capitalist instincts for the sake of my well-being.
For the first time in my life, I'm not sure what the next five years hold for me professionally. But I know that wherever I end up, I'm bringing dessert.
Editor's Note: Susie Heller worked at Insider as a reporter until 2019.